This Strange, Interesting Man
by goctyudicbdkvhb175749674
Summary: AU with no death note, eventual LXLight. L finds it lonely to be at the top. Light can't figure out why he isn't attracted to women. The two meet due to a dropped cheesecake of all things, but despite the rocky start, the universe just had to pair the two men together. Through laughter and friendship, pain and comfort, L isn't lonely anymore, and Light can at last love someone.
1. This Strange, Interesting Man

**Well... this is kind of awkward... Hello there, dear reader. I am known as Gocty, and while I have written fanfiction before, I've never written a fanfic for Death Note until now. I'm not completely done with the series and am relatively new to the fandom (don't worry, I'm gonna catch up episode-wise soon), so I really hope you don't hate this story. As the summary says, it is an AU, one where Light never discovers the death note.**

 **Yes, I know the death note in Death Note drives the plot, but after watching _that_ episode... you know... episode 25... heh, heh... I've been moping about it for a week now, and I have even resorted to taking a break from the series and writing a fanfic where L doesn't die (aka this fanfic) to find closure over L's death. *sighs* WHY DEATH NOTE CREATORS?! WHY?! WHY MUST YOU KILL OFF THE BEST CHARACTER (best character in my opinion, that is) IN THE SERIES?! *sobs***

 **Light: You care too much about a fictional character.**

 **Me: What- Wait a minute! How did you get up here?! You're supposed to be in the story! And you're a fictional character, too!**

 **Light: You're the one who's typing, don't blame me!**

 **Me: *grumbles* Just roll the disclaimer.**

 **Light: Gocty- Hold on, that's a weird name. Where did it come from?**

 **Me: THE DEPTHS OF MY MIND! (Okay, well, my fellow fanfiction author friends gave me the nickname of Gocty, since my full username is a bit on the long side) MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! AND ROLL THE DISCLAIMER ALREADY!**

 **Light: Fine, fine. Gocty does not own Death Note, because if she did, L wouldn't have died. She doesn't own the characters, only the computer that is used to type out this story, yada, yada, yada, get on with the story, blah, blah, blah. She also apologizes if the characters are OOC.**

 **Chapter 1: This Strange, Interesting Man**

* * *

L pulled his heavy brown coat tighter around him as he strolled through snow-laden sidewalks. Despite the jacket, gloves, thick scarf, and wool hat he wore, the frigid air around him nipped at his skin. He shuffled along the countless shops and people, his feet freezing in his pair of old, battered tennis shoes. Okay, the freezing feet part was his fault, but who could blame him? It was a stretch for him to even wear dirty, falling apart tennis shoes, much less socks, and even without the socks, his feet felt as if they were in a leather and rubber prison.

What seemed to be a million snowflakes drifted around him, floating peacefully through the air, and L tilted his head up just in time to see a snow flake flutter in front of his face. He gave a faint smile as it landed on his nose and thought, _"Snowflakes are the only good part about winter."_

He stood in place, watching the snowflake as it gradually melted on his pale nose before continuing to walk. As the snowfall became heavier, his arms started to feel more and more like ice pops. His legs began to stiffen, and L was afraid that if he didn't get to where he needed to be soon, he would freeze in the middle of the road. That wouldn't be good at all. If that happened, that would attract unwanted attention, which was the last thing L wanted. After all, he is L, and he isn't only the world's greatest detective; he is also the most reclusive one.

With his eyes glued to the ground bellow him, L resumed to walk, trying to avoid eye-contact with anyone. Every so often, someone would pass him and accidentally brush him against the shoulders. That made him cringe, since he hated to be touched. When L finally decided to look up, he determined that his destination was only a few blocks away. Scrambling through the streets and sidewalks while ignoring the red and green lights at intersections, he swerved at a few buildings, rammed into a few people, grimaced when he ran into said people, and gasping and panting, he abruptly stopped in front of a bakery.

He gave out a relieved sigh. Thank goodness he got here without getting run over. Normally, Watarti would either make L sweets or go to a shop or something to buy them, but not today. You see, Watari was taking the week-long vacation he had every year, leaving L to fend for himself for that length of time. Of course, Watari definitely deserved and needed the break, but Watarti was also L's glue. He held L together, and it was a near impossibility that he could manage on his own for very long.

L was a man desperate for sweets, though, so he braved the journey from his hotel room to the bakery. Yes, Watarti had stocked him with a considerable amount of cake, candy, and chocolate, among other things, but... let's just say that Watari also underestimated the volume of sweets L would get through that week.

Everyone, even Watari, needed a vacation every once in a while, though, but even with that in mind, he still hated it when Watari left on his yearly getaway. Strange things always happened when Watari was gone. To be fair, though, strange things always happen in his life, him being the world's best, second best, and third best detectives all at the same time, but when Watari left, the strangeness got cranked up to eleven. This year was no exception, either, and for the entire week, L was paranoid of when the strange things would begin to happen.

During previous years and Watari's previous vacations, the strange things that happened so far were him almost lighting his hotel room on fire despite there being no kitchen, him being slapped in the face by an angry lady who swung her purse at him, and him running into the same pole on three separate occasions, all of them happening within the span of thirty-six hours.

Yes, L was a bit of a mess without Watari, so to speak, but worst of all, Watari wasn't there to drive him anywhere. Sure, he had a driver's license. Heck, he could operate a helicopter for goodness's sake(although he didn't exactly have a pilot's license)! It was just that he knew the cops would be less than thrilled if they caught him driving in his usual crouched position. It wasn't his fault that his deductive abilities dropped by forty percent if he sat normally. Although, if he did sit in his usual crouch, he wouldn't have been able to even reach the gas pedal, much less get on the road to be pulled over by the cops in the first place.

L sighed. _" Get it together,"_ he grunted at himself. _"Watari will be back in four days, and you, Mr. L, are getting sweets no matter what."_ He pulled his scarf higher up his chin and his hair lower down his eyes, all in an attempt to hide his face. He gritted his teeth, approached the bakery door, and opened the door as gently as he could, hoping that no one would notice his presence. He shuttered a bit as the bell attached to the door rung, and upon entering, he realized the long line full of bored yet sweet-toothed people in front of him. He swallowed that lump that had formed in his throat and stepped forward, to the back of the line.

He could feel himself shake a little, as if he was shriveling because of the large crowd around him. Him shriveling because of all the people here wasn't far from the truth, either. He looked around. This was the bakery Watari suggested if he wasn't there and L wanted sweets. Of course, Watari not being there didn't happen very often. That was usually the case only when Watari left on his little vacations, but that didn't make standing in line at a jam-packed bakery any less painful.

As he waited in line, he stood with his shoulders locked into position and his arms tense and stuck to his sides. Despite the heat in the bakery and the fact that he was now sweating because he was so hot in his winter clothes, his arms wouldn't budge from his sides. His arm muscles had gotten too stiff to move.

All he could do was inch forward with the line, and on the bright side, he was getting closer and closer to stuffing a cake in his mouth with every step, no matter how slow those steps were. He waited a while, his mind zoning out a bit as he stared at the glass cabinet full of desserts. His mouth watered at them. He saw spongecake, cookies, mouses, and pretty much every dessert imaginable. He himself was surprised that the bakery staff could cram that many desserts into one display cabinet.

He was tempted to buy their entire stock of sweets, but he knew he couldn't carry it all home. What a shame, mostly because that many sweets possibly could've lasted the rest of the week, meaning that he wouldn't have to make any more trips out. Disappointed that he couldn't buy every single sugary thing the bakery had, he let his mind wander off for a while and surveyed his surroundings.

The bakery Watari suggest was quite nice to be honest. It was dimly lit and had pleasantly red walls. The red wasn't a bright, in-your-face type of red; it was mellowed out with shades of brown, making it deep in color. The air smelled of, of course, sweets, and every few seconds L would take in a huge gulp of air, savoring the scent of baked goods as he did so. Calming jazz played in the background, relaxing L by just a tiny bit. It was warm and cozy, and even though it was crowded, the chatter wasn't too unbearably loud, and the number of people that showed indicated that this particular bakery probably had excellent sweets.

L let himself melt into the jazz, as it made him feel at peace with himself and his surroundings. He tapped his foot along with the beat of the music, subconsciously humming the tune as he progressed forward in the line, when suddenly, someone cleared their throat, snapping him out of his thoughts and back to reality.

"Sir, I don't have all day," grumbled the lady behind the counter. "What can I get you, sweetie? And make it quick, there's a long line."

L took a few seconds to actually register he was at the front of the line, and he looked behind him to see a load of customers glaring at him, which told him that he needed to move his mouth and place in the damn order. "Okay, really, you don't have to be this much in a hurry," L spoke in his usual monotone voice, although on the inside he was trembling. He heard his heart thump in his ears, and he mentally slapped himself, _"Oh sugar honey iced tea!_ (if you don't get what I mean by sugar honey iced tea, take the first letter of each word and place them together... yup... my miserable attempt to curse) _Uh! What should I get?! I completely forgot about that!"_

"Mmm..." L spoke quietly, trying his best to convey that he was calm even though he really wasn't. A hundred options raced through his head, so he decided to grab a random dessert floating around in his mind and roll with it. Hoping that no one noticed the single bead of sweat that dripped down his face because of his nervousness, L opened his mouth, although it took a second for the words to get out, "I'll have a cheesecake, please."

L did his best to carry a blank expression over the storm brewing inside of him. He couldn't lose his cool in public. In fact, he didn't think he could ever lose his cool, not even in front of Watari.

"What type?" she asked.

L blinked for a few moments, probing his brain for what cheesecake flavor he would order, "Strawberry." The lady behind the counter took a cheesecake from the back and slid it into a white cardboard box, shoving it into L's hands as she yelled in a shrill voice, "Next customer!"

L quickly paid and exited, letting his joints loosen just a little as he stepped out of the warm bakery and back into the freezing, unforgiving winter air. He walked for a few blocks while tilting his head down, not really paying attention to his surroundings. To get back to the hotel room, he had to cross a pathway the lead through a park. The park was pretty, at the very least, so that comforted him slightly on his walk back.

Trees loomed over him, their leave-less branches both elegant and menacing. Their branches were caked with snow, and L could see endless footprints from the endless stream of people that strolled through the park. He heard the sound of laughing children out in the distance and the faraway wail of a bird. He continued walking, pushing the snow around with his feet as he did so.

Soon, he left the park, it's image getting smaller and blurrier the further L walked away from it. He rejoined the crowds at a busy intersection, holding his limbs and his precious cheesecake as close as could to his body. L felt a chill that had nothing to do with the cold every time someone made contact with him, but he knew every single touch he felt was inevitable. With a city with this many bustling people, it was impossible to not knock into someone every few minutes. Still, it didn't make constantly bumping into people any easier, as violent tingles ran their way down L's spin at even the lightest press against his skin.

As he hurried through the city and passed who knows how many stores, he kept his mind occupied by thinking about the cheesecake in his hands. _"It's going to be fine, L. It'll all be fine, right? I'll go back to the hotel room, sit down, and read over case files while eating a cheesecake,"_ L tried to reassure himself. _"Once I make it back to the hotel, everything will be in order again, and the world will resume spinning. It will be fine."_ L repeated that sentence over and over in his head, _"It will be fine. It will be fine. It will be f-"_

 _Bang!_ L heard a loud crash, and before he realized it, he was on the ground, the box that held his cake was on the ground as well, it laying in a crumpled heap, and he saw... someone interesting in front of him. _"Uh, looks like I've run into someone. I should've paid more attention while I was walking! Okay, admittedly, that piece of hindsight won't help me now, but still!"_

"Oh my goodness! Are you okay, sir?! I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! I wasn't watching where I was going!" said the voice in front of him in a quick, panicked manner. L shifted his gaze from his cheesecake to the person in front of him, and his already huge, coal-black eyes widened.

 _"Oh, hello there, maybe crashing into you isn't so bad after all..."_ L looked at the young man in front of him, and a handsome young man at that. He was apologizing for what was most likely five minutes straight, but L didn't listen to the endless stream of apologies. He was too caught up in gauging the man who had just run into him. The man was probably in his early twenties, and he had chestnut-brown hair, which was arranged perfectly on his head without a stand out of place. He wore a thick coat and a pair of khakis, as well as brown dress shoes. He was dressed in clothes that were slightly more formal than an average person's, and he was for sure dressed better than L.

L looked at this man for a few more seconds, before he caught himself staring. Even as it dawned on him that he was starring at this strange, interesting man, he couldn't tear his eyes away. The person in front of him had perfect hair, perfectly healthy-looking skin, a perfect chin, a perfect jawline... perfect _everything_.

And there was L. He looked like he had just gotten out of bed with his wild, uncombed locks. His skin was so pale that one time someone actually thought he was a ghost. The permanent dark circles under his eyes made people think he'd never slept a day in his life, which wasn't as far-fetched as it seemed. He also, in according to the people around him, dressed like a slob. L's appearance, by definition, was the exact _opposite_ of perfect.

"Um... sir...? Excuse me, are you okay?" the young man looked at L, who was still staring at him intently.

 _"L, what are you doing?! Watari said something about how it's not polite to stare!"_ L tried to rip his eyes away from the person in front of him, but he couldn't. Time was at a standstill. The world around him slowed, the only thing moving in normal speed being the handsome young man in front of him. L himself tried to move, in an attempt to pry himself away from further embarrassment.

"Oh, what's in that box?" the man asked. That pulled L out of his thoughts as he looked down at the destroyed cheesecake box. L quickly pulled the box towards him, and, while the box sat on the ground, L used both of his hands to lift the lid off, holding it up with his thumb and forefinger. Any hopes of his cheesecake being saved were crushed. When he opened the box, the cake laid smashed, somehow covered in dirt, and there was a huge crack down the middle of the previously delicious treat.

"Sorry..." the person L rammed into rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. "I can buy you a new one, if you want. I'm really sorry about what-"

"It's fine, really," L deadpanned, masking any sadness about his cheesecake beneath the tone of his voice. "I'll just buy another one."

"No, I insist, here," he reached into his pocket and handed L some money. "If there's any change, keep it. It's an apology for crashing into you."

They were both still sitting down on the sidewalk, and by this point, the people passing by them were giving them odd stares. Although, the stares were expected. It was an odd sight, two people on the ground with a destroyed cheesecake in between, and while one of the men had been saying sorry for five solid minutes, the other simply gawked with emotionless, soulless eyes, unable to look away.

"No, no, I have more than enough to purchase another cheesecake," L gave back the money while assuming his crouch.

"Oh, I haven't properly introduced myself yet," the other person interjected. He stretched out his hand. "My name is Light Yagami. What's your's?"

L blinked. He didn't expect this. Luckily, even though most people would never know his real name, he was often referred to as Ryuzaki. "Oh, yes, yes, my name is Ryuzaki, it is nice to meet you, Light," L accepted Light's hand, who abruptly pulled the two up. He looked at his other hand and noticed that Light hadn't taken back the money yet.

"Oh, I believe this is your's?" L waved the money in front of Light's face.

"Oh, no, keep it," Light smiled gently at L. "As I said, it's an apology for bumping into you."

"Strange," L muttered to himself, the word he just uttered being too quiet for Light to hear. "So," he continued, his voice void of any feelings, while putting the money in his pocket. "I believe that this isn't the most ideal situation to meet someone."

"Yeah," Light chuckled, although L noticed a nervous tinge to it.

 _"What is this nervousness I sense from him all about?"_ L asked himself. After seeing that L didn't respond, Light started talking again, but it wasn't the words L was paying attention to; L was paying attention to the way Light spoke those words, the way he carried himself.

 _"Interesting,"_ L thought, trying to deduct more about Light. _"Despite the earlier incident and hint of nervousness I previously detected from his voice, he seems to have recovered from it rather quickly. Judging from the way he talks, he puts on a confident, calm front, and judging from his appearance, he's quite nutty about his image. He is centered around perfection, or so it seems, but I notice something in his eyes... despite his smile, they appear dead... they appear lifeless, more lifeless than mine. It takes a trained eye to see this, though, and he hides his lifeless soul with a mask, a mask of confidence, a mask that is collected in nature, a mask that makes him appear perfect on the outside. It's all in the eyes, his cold, soulless eyes-"_

His thoughts were suddenly cut off.

"Hey, Ryuzaki, are you busy at the moment?" Light inquired.

L shook his head, indicating a no.

"Well, I was wondering, since both of us have nothing to do, if I could come with you while you get a new cheesecake," Light suggested.

 _"Great, I don't need someone to tag along, but what should I do? I don't want to look like a jerk..."_ L held his pointer-finger to his mouth and bit lightly on the nail. "You really don't have to, Light, I can manage on my own, besides, I don't want to be inconveniencing you. We are both at fault for bumping into each other in the first place, you know."

"No, I insist, besides, I don't have much to do today. It's the weekend, I don't have work today, and all my family members are doing their own thing," Light gave another charming yet dead smile, not that the average person could pick up the falseness of Light's facial expressions.

L bit harder on his finger, making it clear he was thinking so that Light wouldn't interrupt his thoughts, _"He's a fantastic liar. He's probably lied for his entire life. Even now, he's most likely trying to be polite with a... ninety-four percent chance that's the case. In any case, he definitely has a charming front. You are very interesting, Light Yagami... very interesting indeed... perhaps it is worth sticking around you for a few minutes, just to see if you can live up to the mask you present me with."_

"Sure, I don't see why not," L shrugged, trying his best to hide the fact that he was analyzing Light's personality. He didn't want to seem creepy to such an interesting man. It could even be fun to peel off the mask Light had on and see firsthand who he really was.

"But really, I'm paying for your cheesecake," Light smirked. "Whether you like it or not."

 _"Ooh, what was that smirk all about? Do I sense competitiveness with a childish foundation?"_ L lead the way towards the bakery. _"Looks like this is worth more of my time than I originally thought."_ "Like I'd let you pay for me," L retorted.

"You are very interesting, Light," L commented, still trying to maintain a monotonous tone. "That is all I can say for now."

"Okay then...?" Light gave L a funny look. L smiled on the inside; he caught Light off guard.

"Yes, that is all I can say for now," L continued as they strolled, him still in front of Light.

"I can only say the same about you, too," Light gave a good-natured chuckle, although L could tell otherwise. It was an invitation to a challenge, a battle of wits and who could out-maneuver the other.

L gave a nod, not only saying yes to Light's statement but to his little game as well. From the way Light's eyes lit up with a spark of life for the first time since L met him, L knew Light picked up on what the nod really meant.

In about fifteen minutes, they arrived at the bakery L was at about thirty minutes ago. The same lady was behind the counter, and she peeked out from behind the line to see who entered.

"You again?" she lifted an eyebrow.

L promptly ignored her, as he would rather not discuss his destroyed cheesecake.

"So, what do you do for a living?" Light questioned all of a sudden. L turned around to face him, meeting him in the eye.

 _"Out of all the questions you could've asked, you had to ask that one!"_ L screamed in his head. He locked on an expressionless face to prevent it from twitching. That would be a dead giveaway that he wasn't being completely honest, thus losing Light's game, and with someone as interesting as Light, you can never tell what they are capable of. "Oh, I simply do detective work," L explained. Even if he couldn't tell the truth, sticking as close to it as possible would prevent a slip-up in how coherent any of his explanations would be.

"Oh, really? Me too! I don't see you around, though, we probably work for different agencies or something," Light shrugged.

"Well, I don't want to be rude and only talk about myself," L said innocently. "What organization do you work for?"

"I work for the NPA," Light responded.

"I have high respects for them," L lied. In truth, he thought the organization was pathetic. "Oh, look at that," L pointed to a cheesecake in the display case. He squinted a little to read the sign under it, and he read out, "Cookie-dough cheesecake, that looks rather good."

He didn't care how much he wanted to call out the NPA for being so useless; he **had** to direct attention away from what he did as a profession without it being too obvious that he was, which was why he asked Light what agency he worked for first, to make him look less suspicious.

It would be a nightmare if Light asked him what detective/police organization he worked for since he thought almost all of them were inadequate. They only reason he even worked for them was because they offered quite a big paycheck for solving the unsolvable, although he really didn't know how they could be so blind to such obvious evidence. Well, obvious to him, anyway.

Light scrunched his nose a bit at the sight of the cookie-dough cheesecake, "I'm sorry, Ryuzaki, but that looks sickly sweet, no offense to your taste in dessert."

"None taken," L waved off Light's comment with his hand.

They took jabs at each other for a few minutes while waiting in line, and this time, L knew exactly what he wanted.

"Can I have the cookie-dough cheesecake, please?" L threw the money Light gave him on the counter; it appeared that he wouldn't get out of Light paying for the cheesecake, whether he liked it or not. Now he understood why Light smirked earlier when he was told he wouldn't be paying for the cheesecake.

Taking up the money, the woman who took the order whispered to herself, "What is up with this guy?" loud enough for L to hear.

 _"She probably intended for me to hear her,"_ L concluded.

With the cheesecake box in his hands, L grabbed a fork and sat down at a table with Light, who sat down before L did. Light had ordered a coffee after L ordered the cheesecake, and now he was sipping the steaming, pleasant-smelling, and caffeine packed drink.

"Are you doing to eat that entire thing?" Light arched an eyebrow. His face was half filled with shock with the other half being amazement.

L brought his knees up to his chest, not caring that they were in public. He would need all of his deduction skills to counter Light in this game. "Yes, I do plan on eating the entire thing," L brought a fork-full of cheesecake to his mouth.

L then noticed that Light cringed, although the cringe was barely noticeable. Then he saw Light give him an odd look, only to have it replaced by another one of his brilliantly fake smiles as he brushed off L's posture.

 _"Interesting... very interesting, indeed," L thought to himself once more. "But really, why is that all I can describe about you? Normally, people are open like a book, whether they realize it or not. You, Light, are one of a kind, and I take it upon myself to read you. It will be a challenge, but this challenge, I believe, will be much harder to crack than any mass-murder case with no evidence or a wave of crime that suddenly hits the world... no, you will be my hardest case yet, Light, and I am determined to solve you, no matter what it takes, because Light, you appear to be the strange thing to have happened while Watari's gone."_

* * *

 **Well, that's chapter one done! I'm not sure if I'll update, though. I love writing, it's just that the most tedious part is editing, which takes a while, and even then a few mistakes always make it into the final chapter. If you want more, say so in the reviews, because I'm not yet sure if I want to continue with this or not. Most of my stories fail by the time they hit five chapters, just to give you a heads up. XP Please read, review, and I hope you enjoy. I will see you (if I update) next chapter. :)**


	2. Mental Warfare

**Hello everyone! Welcome back! Before we start, I apologize if this chapter is a bit more boring than the last one, as this chapter focuses on the first "full conversation" L and Light have. You'll find out why I put the term "full conversation" in quotes as well, since L is not exactly what you call an ideal conversation partner. Also, sorry if I go a bit overboard when I'm writing down L's thoughts; it's just that I am the type of person to get lost in my head, so my thinking drags on and on and on, and that tends to bleed over into my writing when I describe a character's thought process.**

 **Chapter 2: Mental Warfare**

* * *

There they were, sitting with a random stranger in a random bakery. The bakery was bustling with people, people who had places to go, but L and Light were occupied by something else, or rather, someone else. Both of them had cancelled out the constant drone of people and noises, and it appeared both of them were used to blocking out the outside world when deep in thought. It was like the two of them were the only ones in the room, despite that statement being contrary to how busy this little store was. Still, they sat there staring at each other, paying no mind to the odd stares they got from both how L sat hunched over and barefoot and the fact that he was eating an entire cookie-dough cheesecake. They waited, waited for the other to speak, for the other to crack first.

"Um... so..." Light blinked, looking at L. It had been ten minutes since they sat down, ten minutes since L said anything. Yes, L knew that Light wasn't intending to talk to a brick wall, hardly anyone ever did, but he couldn't help but stare as he enjoyed his cheesecake. He didn't know what to say! His interactions with anyone other than Watari were either short and cold or behind a computer screen that displayed the letter "L". In fact, Watari was the only person he could talk to face to face for more than five minutes. Too bad he was gone at the moment...

"You know, I don't mean to be rude, but I don't want to talk to someone who won't respond to a word I say," Light huffed, clearly annoyed and on the verge of storming out right then and there. There was a pause, a very, very long pause, and then, as if it was some miracle of god, L finally decided to move his lips.

"I know, I know, just give my responses time," L simply stated. "Forgive me, as I've been trying to think of things that would sufficiently answer the four questions that you flung at me within the last ten minutes." L checked the clock dangling off the bakery wall to make sure that he calculated the time they had been here correctly.

Light turned his head away to look out the window. Even though his face hardly showed it, L saw an ever so slight pout form on it. L's mind chuckled, _"I've known you for less than an hour, and already I have found it amusing to annoy you."_ His face stayed an emotionless, blank slate, though, for he could not let Light know that he was finding such enjoyment out of pulling his leg and messing with him. Not to mention, he would most certainly lose Light's little game if Light could see his internal smirk, and there was always the risk of driving away this interesting man if his smirk looked less like a smirk and more like a deranged grin. L was never good with smiling properly, after all.

In trying to come up with a decent answer to Light's questions without revealing any of his personal life, L could feel the gears in his head turn, them making crunching rotations and loud squeaks as he tried to activate the light-bulb connected to his ideas, _"Okay, so let's see. In attempting to end my silence, he asked me four questions, and the four questions are, 'How is your family doing?', 'What hobbies do you have?', 'What do you think of all this snow?', and 'Do you have any pets?' Mmm... These questions seem innocent, as if he's trying to do small talk with me rather than trying to make me lose his... little game, so to speak. If I were to answer his inquiries honestly, though, I would have an... eighty-seven percent chance of driving him away. His third question is the only question I have a normal answer to. That's not good, and if I lie my way out of this, he might find out the truth eventually, especially in the slim chance that we become acquaintances. What am I supposed to do, Light?! Uh! You have me cornered! To answer your 'oh-so-innocent' questions, Light, my family-life is so complicated that it will probably take me three hours to explain everything, my only hobbies are eating cake and putting the world's most dangerous criminals behind bars, the snow is admittedly beautiful, but as if that can make me ignore the cold that causes the snow in the first place, and if I had pets, they'd probably die because of all the chocolate lying around my hotel room, particularly if I had a dog."_

There was another long silence, and L finally started to move his lips once more. "Um, I apologize, but do you mind repeating the four questions you asked me earlier? I sometimes forget the things people ask me if my mind gets caught up in other things," L, after several minutes of obvious contemplation, decided that this would be the best route to take. Sure, it wasn't the most graceful of ways to get out of this, but he'd rather lose a battle than the war. Besides, this would either buy him time to think more about what Light asked him, or Light would get irritated and drop his queries all together.

"Never mind," Light grunted. L smiled on the inside, glad to have gotten out of that situation.

 _"You've won the battle, Light Yagami, but I will not lose the war,"_ L assured himself in his mind. There was no way he would let Light get the better of him, L thought, and he started to observe Light's face, which he noticed was twitching slightly, _"You're arrogant and childish. Your face of pride is hidden by that smile... that ever so charming smile, I might add. But in the end, you are a child and hate losing. I should know, because I am also childish and hate losing. I am also arrogant a-"_

"Ryuzaki? Are you feeling alright?" Light questioned.

 _"Why do you keep cutting me off when I think? It's like you can sense whenever I'm deep in thought!"_ L groaned internally.

"Yes, I am fine," L nodded, his voice low and eerily calm as always. "What makes you think I am not alright?"

"You've barely said anything for the last ten minutes, and not only that, what you said within those ten minutes is not even anything engaging," Light grunted.

"Yes, I am completely aware of that," L plunged his fork into his cheesecake yet again, the eating utensil scraping against his plate as he did so, and he lifted it up to his mouth to take a bite. As he savored the sweetness, he added, "Can a man not enjoy his cheesecake? Not everyone is talented at eating and talking at the same time." _"That should be a valid excuse,"_ L hoped.

"Well, to be fair, I've never seen anyone eat an entire cheesecake in one sitting before," Light replied. He crossed his arms, and while he tried to maintain a gentle, steady grin, his cold, bitter eyes told L otherwise. It would be unlikely that anyone other than L could notice the frustration straining Light's face, though, as not many people were constantly paranoid about every human interaction they had to the point of using a false name almost every time they talked to someone.

"The world's a big place, Light, full of people who love cheesecake, may I mind you," L stuffed another fork-fill of the delightful treat into his mouth.

"Okay...?" Light tilted his head, confusion written all over his annoyed features at what L said.

"You'll understand eventually," L shrugged. _"Actually, I merely said that thing about cheesecake to throw you off. Don't think you have me beaten because of your early victories."_

Light resumed drinking his coffee. There was silence. Again. L knew that Light was growing more and more uncomfortable with the silence, which was good, because that could throw Light off. Not many people were used to speaking to someone with as little social skills as L, so he often used this to gain the upper hand. Determining that he needed to add something intelligent to the conversation, though, L started talking, ignoring the crumbs of cheesecake that were escaping from his mouth, "You know, Light, people fear the unfamiliar. People fear the different, people fear what deviates from normal, if you can call anything normal."

"And your point is?" Light urged for L to continue.

"The point is, I feel that you have a particularly strong fear of straying from what is socially acceptable, a strong fear of straying from what is... _normal_ ," L stressed the word "normal" slightly.

"What makes you think that? And what does this have to do with the conversation?" Light scratched his head. He looked confused, but from the tiny, insignificant glimmer of excitement in his eyes, L could tell Light knew exactly what he was talking about.

"Excuse me, it's getting quite warm in here," L suddenly swerved the conversation off course. He undid his scarf, took off his gloves and hat, and unbuttoned his coat. "I hope you don't mind the interruption, I was just getting a bit sweaty," L explained. In truth, he started getting sweaty within two minutes of entering the bakery, but he knew to wait. If he could suddenly say something random that derailed Light's train of thought without doing anything out of the ordinary, it would be a useful tactic when their minds were warring, and useful it proved. It wasn't for long, but he saw Light's jaw hang a bit. Granted, Light fixed up his face and got it right back to its perfect, relaxed state in a matter of microseconds, but it was a slip-up nonetheless.

There was yet another pause, Light obviously not knowing what to say.

"Are you warm, Light?" L asked, the detective trying his best to convey through his voice that he cared so that it didn't sound like he was mocking Light.

"Um... yeah..." Light tugged at the collar of his jacket. "Thanks for pointing that out...? I guess...?" He slid off his jacket and set it down on the table, next to where L set down his own sweat-soaked winter clothing.

L drummed his toes against the base of his chair as if that would decrease the awkwardness they sat in, and he waited. He waited for Light to say something, anything, but Light said nothing. He just stared at L, and although a second ago there was a look of bewilderment on his face, Light had quickly recomposed himself. Light drank his coffee, probably in an attempt to hide his face behind the cup.

 _"You are so stubborn, Light, almost as much as I am,"_ L shoveled more bites of cheesecake into his mouth. He chewed them slowly, not only because he wanted to, but because the longer this cheesecake lasted, the longer L could use the excuse that he was eating as a reason for not talking. _"I see... You're more like me than you'd like to admit, huh? At first, I thought we were total opposites, you being the image of all things perfect and me not even close, but I was wrong. This attitude you have brought forth tells me otherwise. Like me, you are stubborn, especially when playing mind games. You have a high self-image, like a child, like myself. Yes, both of us are much more competitive, much more childish than we're letting on. Competitiveness is a childish trait, yes, especially when combined with stubbornness and the refusal to lose, but that is only the foundation. There are many more layers stacked on top of your childish foundation, there are lies stacked on top of this foundation, as well as many secrets, and I will not rest until I find out these secr-"_

"Ryuzaki?" Light took another sip of his coffee as he yet again interrupted L's thinking process, but L noticed that the cup was empty.

 _"Ah, looks like my silence has finally gotten the better of you,"_ L applauded to himself in victory. In trying to look like he thought nothing of Light's sudden words, he continued to eat the cheesecake at a pace regular for him, attempting to convince Light that he was too distracted by the dessert.

"Ryuzaki?" Light said again, this time a little louder than the last.

"Yes?" L tilted his head up so that he could face Light. "Is there anything wrong?"

"I was just getting kind of worried since you didn't say anything for a while," Light shrugged.

 _"He's trying his best to act like he normally would, although his mask is slipping,"_ L nodded to himself. "Oh, no need to worry, I just tend to get swept away in my thoughts, that's all. If it's bothering you, then please, feel free to tell me," L reassured Light.

L looked over at Light, who was now facing L's deep, black-hole like eyes. L blinked once, and he peered deeply into Light's hazel, admittedly attractive eyes. Before long, Light broke eye contact, but L continued to stare, and stare hard. He could feel Light shrink as well as the nervous energy radiating off of him, and L prepared himself for another burst of thinking.

 _"You don't seem very comfortable, Light, although that should be obvious,"_ L stepped back into the world inside his mind, ignoring Light who was calling his name as he did so. _"Yes... I know that I make most people feel uncomfortable, but your discomfort is of a different type from what I usually get. It doesn't make sense, Light, you should probably be out the door by now, no matter how hard I try to make you stay."_

L continued to observe Light, watching his every movement, his every facial expression, to get more information about this strange, young man. L saw the friendly confidence from earlier waver. He was one step closer to peeling back Light's mask, but he was more than certain that Light had other defenses up. He didn't quite know what they were, but he was sure he would figure them out. Even with L trying to yank off Light's mask, L noticed that Light, like himself, refused to lose the game he set up.

He deductions started up again, _"You have a lot of pride, I see, but not bravery. No, like me, you hide yourself. You hide yourself from the world, you hide it behind a mask. Both of us do; it is simply that we have on different masks of choice. You make yourself seem perfect, infallible. You want people to look up to you and say, 'He looks like he has everything under control, his entire life together.' I present myself in a way that makes people... underestimate me, to put it nicely. After all, who would expect a crouching, sugar-addicted creep with insomnia to be the world's greatest detective? Although, most of my quirks were carried over from when I was a child; even if I wasn't wearing my mask, I would act more or less the same with the bonus of slight social skills. For you, though, Light, I'm not sure if you would act the same if I could see what's under those perfect teeth and that perfect smile. I simply don't, thus making you interesting."_

L, satisfied that he now had another point of fixation to think about, took another bite of cheesecake, and every time he put another hunk of deliciousness in his mouth, he could see Light grimace. _"See?"_ he asked himself a rhetorical question. _"What did I tell you about Light not liking it when people deviate from the norm, i.e. a full-grown adult eating an entire cookie-dough cheesecake as a snack?"_

"I can see that your coffee cup is empty," L pointed to Light's empty cup with his fork, and he took a quick look around the room. "Yes, I've seen that cup has been empty for the past five and a half minutes."

Light glanced down at the cup and quickly set it down as casually as he could, "Oh..."

"I know you asked me if I was alright earlier, but I must ask the same for you. Are you feeling okay?" L, yet again, crammed another piece of cheesecake in his mouth. He looked down at the cake and saw that he only had one-fourth of a cheesecake left, sighing as he did so.

It was almost time for him to drop the excuse of him eating cake as a justification for his lack of talking, and not only that, he was also slightly anxious about how he could get his sweet fix during later times of the week. Well, he could always buy some more baked goods from this bakery, he supposed, but he was sure that the cashier would throw him a dirty look for ordering something sweet for the third time in one hour. Alas, that was probably the most convenient option.

Too bad this cheesecake wasn't going to last much longer, though. He couldn't even slow down the rate at which he ate his cheesecake because that would look suspicious, and if he looked suspicious, that would decrease his chances of winning Light's game by around thirty percent.

"Yeah, I'm fine! Why wouldn't you think that?" Light scooted his chair back slightly.

 _"He probably thinks I'm quite creepy at this point, and that he should protect himself and his family from me by leaving,"_ L assumed. "Oh, I was just slightly concerned, you were drinking coffee out of an empty cup," L explained. "Anyway, I should get going, I'm going to order some more sweets, though, I'm running quite low on them."

L stood up, finishing off the last of his cheesecake, and threw away the box it was in, and he put his winter-wear and shoes back on before standing in line once again to order some more desserts.

Light stared at him wide-eyed, and L had no doubt that Light was wondering how someone could consume so much sugar. "Light, you look like you're witnessing me commit a crime, are you certain that you're alright?" L asked, just to mess with him.

"Y-yeah... it's all good," L could see Light slowly backing out of the room, and he turned away, pretending to not be looking at Light. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Light bolting out of the room followed by a door slam, and this time, he let a smirk show. _"I know, it sounds cliched, but I believe I have beaten you at your own game, literally,"_ L gave out a chuckle so small that it was barely visible. Under normal circumstances, he wouldn't even let a hint of emotion that small slip from him, but he just had to. What did you expect? He just had the time of his life engaging with and pestering this strange, interesting man, and he didn't even care if he would never see this Light person again. One hour of annoying him was good enough for a lifetime.

Once again, L studied all the desserts behind the glass cabinet, deciding which ones he would purchase this time. Even though the cheesecakes were quite tasty, he wanted a change of pace in the desserts he ate.

Upon arriving at the counter, the lady standing behind it slapped her forehead with her palm. "Honestly!" she screeched. "How do you eat that much sugar without getting sick or something?!"

Pushing aside her comment, as L was used to being lectured about his eating habits, L requested in a blank, uninterested tone, "May I have a dozen strawberry tarts, a box of donuts, ten mouses, five fruit tarts, your dessert platter special, fifteen eclairs, two boxes of chocolate panda crackers, three bags of your jellied sweets, and a chocolate cake? That should last me for the remainder of the week."

"Uh," the cashier pulled at her hair, clearly frustrated at this customer who kept going up to her and ordering copious amounts of sweets. She did her job, though, and took five minutes stuffing L's entire order into a large paper bag with pink and brown stripes. The bakery's logo, which as a vanilla cupcake with green frosting, was posted on the front, and L took the bag, him trying his best to look bored despite the fact that he was squealing with glee on the inside at the sight of all those sweets. He also paid for what was pretty much a bag full of sugar mixed with some extra stuff and told the cashier to keep the change.

"Have a nice day," the lady behind the counter half-heartedly mumbled, and she called for the next customer in that same shrill voice she used earlier.

Walking out of the bakery, L still cringed when he heard the sound of the bell attached to the door ringing. _"They should really do something about that bell,"_ L thought, the detective not even caring how impractical it was.

With that, he headed off into the cold and back to the hotel, where he would eat yet more sweets and look over case files. Him having to go to a bakery put him behind his work enough already, but with that little Light fiasco, there was no telling what updates on the case there were that he wasn't around to get.

Shuffling through the cold and snow, L sighed, seeing his breath cloud in front of his face. And with that, he began the annoyingly long journey back to the hotel. He would have to hack into the bakery's camera system later to remove all evidence that he was there, too, all because of this strange, interesting man, and he wondered, _"I presume the war between us is not done, yet, so when, I ask, will we have our next battle, Light?"_

* * *

 **So... do you like it? Sorry if this chapter was boring or not as good as the first, but don't worry, things will pick up pretty soon. Also, I wanted to mention that yes, L is investigating a pretty serious case during the course of the story, but since this is an AU, the case going on is more of a subplot to guide the story in the direction I want it to go in. This fanfic will focus more on the development of the relationship between L and Light rather than the investigation L is currently working on, if that makes sense, but that doesn't mean the case isn't going to be mentioned. In fact, it does have a role in bringing L and Light together.**

 **I must warn you in advance, though, that I'm not good at writing mysteries, which is why the investigation L is leading takes a backseat plot-wise. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed, and please review, favorite, follow, etc. if you'd like to. It means a lot to me, and I shall (hopefully) see you later.**


	3. Of Imaginary Tears and Human Emotions

**Warning: If L is OOC this chapter, I apologize from the bottom of my heart with the most sincere sorry I can summon.**

 **Chapter Three: Of Imaginary Tears and Human Emotions**

* * *

It most certainly appeared that his small, seemingly insignificant meeting with Light had put him behind schedule. By the time he arrived back at the hotel, it was dark. He stood in front of a large skyscraper, and it had a light dusting of snow all over its windows. Two potted plants sat on either side of the hotel's revolving door, and there was a small staircase that lead L to the entrance.

As he stepped into the hotel parlor, the person at the receptionist desk turned his head to see L enter.

"Good evening," he said, although he was quite busy on the phone. L shrugged and walked off. He tracked snow onto the perfectly polished marble floor, and as he made his way in, he felt waves of warmth hit him, which felt quite nice due to the amount of time he spent outside on the walk back. The ceiling was around fifty feet in height, causing the room to tower above him. L tilted his head up to catch a glimpse of the two crystal chandeliers that dangled from up top, which cast faint, low lights throughout the entire lobby.

There was a long, looming hall, and L quietly made his way down the corridor, glancing around the area to see if there was anyone in sight. Luckily, there was no one walking with him at the moment, and it might've had something to do with the fact that it was so late. When L had passed through the front desk with the busy employee talking on the phone, he checked the time. It was nine at night, providing evidence for his theory of why pretty much no one was poking around the hotel.

When he reached the elevator at the end of the hallway, he pressed the button that would summon the elevator lightly, almost paranoid that someone would notice him if he lingered his hands around the elevator button for too long.

L tapped his foot impatiently, demanding that the elevator come down already in his head. _"I don't have anymore time to waste!"_ L hissed in his thoughts as he waited for the elevator to descend to his level. Granted, since the hotel was forty-six stories tall, it would take a minute or two for the elevator to reach L, but that didn't settle his anxieties about being out in the open for so long. He dreaded how many cameras he would have to hack into in order to erase all signs that he was in that bakery, and not only that, he had to do it discretely, carefully picking out which footage to delete so that no one would notice that someone had gone around messing with their video cameras. He would have to do the same when he left the hotel as well, but that was a task saved for when he would leave in a few days.

The elevator's soft ding spooked L a bit, but for once he was glad that there was a noise. The elevator doors slid open, and he stepped inside, taking a quick look around to find the contraption empty. _"Good. I've had enough human exposure for today,"_ L sighed out in relief. As usual, he stood in his hunched-over posture, and he waited for the elevator to reach the forty-fifth floor, which was where his room was located, not to mention it was the highest floor that was designated for hotel rooms. The forty-sixth floor was reserved for a pool, although it wasn't likely that anyone wanted to go for a swim at this hour.

L shoved his hands into his pockets and leaned against the wall, playing the evidence surrounding the case he was working on over and over again in his mind. Even though he had picked up the case only last week, he narrowed the suspects down to a list of five people, and he planned to study some more elements of the investigation once he got back to his room and dealt with the video cameras of the bakery.

Normally, he would switch hotels every few days just to be safe, but with Watari gone, L was stuck at this one for the week due to the fact that he didn't have the social skills to request a room. The last time he tried to request a hotel room himself rather than giving the task to Watari, he went on a rant about justice over the phone and nearby blew the fact that he was L. Plus, he was also afraid of someone wiretapping any calls he made, thus causing him to make Watari handle most of his communications to the outside world.

With Watari gone, though, well, you get the point, and no matter how hard L tried to get his mind off Watari, it couldn't be done. Even if he was focusing on something else, the thought of Watari being gone for the week pestered him in the back of his mind.

The elevator dinged yet again, and the doors opened to reveal a wide lounge area with two adjacent hallways on either side. The lounge was on top of a brown carpet with beige, circle-like designs, and there was a glass table, several matching couches and chairs, and a wide window that gave a panoramic view of the brightly lit-up city below. The lounge, like the hallways, was empty, and the lack of people consoled L slightly. Going out in public was bad enough, and L didn't need anymore people to make the situation worse.

He turned to his right and strolled down the hallway, keeping his posture slouched and his hands in his pockets. This position of walking made him feel safe, somehow, not that he would admit it to anyone, not even to Watari, and not even to himself.

Small patches of snow were still falling off his clothes, and as soon as he unlocked the door to his hotel room with a scan of his card key and rushed inside, he threw off his shoes. "Much better," L said to himself as he wiggled his toes around. His feet, enjoying their new-found freedom, carried L to the room's kitchen, where he dropped off his bakery bag full of sweets into the mini-fridge. He kept a few mouses and eclairs, though, as a midnight snack to help him through the night. Then, he dragged himself into the main living quarters, and he plopped himself down on the couch, next to his laptop.

The hotel room he was currently in had been divided into three sections, the main living quarters, the kitchen, and a bedroom with two king-sized beds and a connecting bathroom, and although most people would've had their eyes pop out due to the sheer size and extravagance of the hotel room, to L, it was just regular business. Despite the secluded life he was forced to live, being the world's best detective did have its perks, including having the means to stay in a place like this every night.

Assuming his usual crouch, L opened his laptop. He pulled the case files out of a document stashed deep within a folder on his computer, but before he could start anything, he would have to find any video cameras that possibly recorded him shuffling down the street to efface all footage they had of him.

He had several large TVs set up next to the couch, and although it was inconvenient to be dragging around camera equipment everywhere, he needed it to monitor if anyone was approaching his hotel room. He had already hacked into the building's surveillance system, so any activity that went on around the skyscraper was constantly monitored, and as mentioned earlier, he would erase any footage of him that the hotel cameras recorded when it was time to leave.

For now, though, he typed furiously into his computer, albeit his method of typing with only his two pointer-fingers was extremely inefficient, trying to find and hack into the video cameras of the bakery he had been to earlier that day. After about thirty minutes of messing around with camera systems from the comfort of his computer, L finally gained access to the video footage he desired to eliminate, and with that, recordings from the bakery popped up on the TV screens next to him.

Since he had stayed at the bakery longer than intended, it would most likely take a while to delete all the footage he needed to, but it was a minor nuisance. He had seen worse, but at the time being, he'd rather not think about all the slip-ups he had when he was several years younger and much more foolish, before he became so cautious.

L gave out a sigh. He wasn't counting how many times he had sighed that day, but if he got a dollar or yen or pound or whatever form of currency was out there for every time he did so, he probably could've just quit his job as L and still kept pace with the life he was living at the moment. _"But that would be no fun, would it? Just living my life and earning some money for every time I let out a sigh,"_ L chuckled to himself, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips.

Well, there was _one_ , and only one good side to Watari leaving to go on his annual trip to who knows where. He let his smile grow wider, him being slightly relieved that he no longer had to keep his poker-face on. He trusted Watari, yes, but he didn't think he would ever trust anyone enough to give them a genuine smile of amusement. His smile faded, though, when his thoughts drifted back to Watari.

L massaged his temples, his head hurting slightly while it was trying to comprehend that Watari wouldn't return until the end of the week. He grunted and continued typing. This week had dragged on long enough already, and he knew it would feel like an eternity before his fatherly figure, Watari, would get back and make everything fall back into their proper places once again. It would be an eternity before practically the only person who cared about him would be there for him. It would be an eternity before he could see the only man who he could call dad, no matter if they were related by blood or not. It would be an eternity, it seemed, before things could get back to normal, an eternity until the weirdness of this week would end.

It was funny how L pretty much depended on Watari even though he was a full-grown adult. Sure, he was twenty-five, had developed quite the fortune through his detective work, and had even survived three whole days without Wartari, but without him... Without Watari, L wasn't exactly sure if he could cope. That thought scared him. The fact that his Watari, the only person who actually treated him as if he was a human being, was subjected to the force of time like everyone else scared him, because he knew. He knew that Watari still had quite a way to go before he was gone forever, but he also knew that one day, Watari would leave him. Forever. For an actual eternity, and that his parental figure wasn't going to stick around forever to hold his hand as he progressed through life.

L gulped. He hated to think about that, but this was what letting his thoughts wander got him into. He could feel his muscles tense and his legs cling closer to his chest. He let his head droop in shame and a tear run down his face. Since he was alone, he didn't really care that he was carrying out his version of crying. He hadn't really all-out sobbed since childhood, but with no one around, he let the stress of thinking that Watari would be gone forever some day drip out in the form of that single teardrop.

He wrapped his arms around his legs to hug them and thought, _"If the hotel cameras catch me in this state, I'll definitely have to erase that footage, too."_ He gave out a heartless, chilling chuckle at the joke he made, and like a frightened child, he brought his thumb to his mouth in an act to comfort himself.

 _"I really am like a child,"_ L curled up tighter than he normally would as he analyzed the situation he was in at the moment. _"Just like that man I met earlier today, that Light character. We both are childish... we hate losing... and are cowardly. Frightened, even, to show our true colors, an act of immaturity of itself."_

He rocked himself back and forth, trying to collect his thoughts into something manageable.

L looked towards the huge window, which was thankfully covered by a brown curtain, and stared. He stared at the solid color, as he needed something to stare at to organize the frazzle his thoughts were in. He just needed something to concentrate on, something to divert his attention away from the thought of one day losing Watari, whether it was the case he was working on or simply a plain curtain hanging off the wall.

Whimpering, L rested his head on his knees, obviously quite self-conscience about the fact that he sat here, crying, if you could even call it that, as much as his pride would allow. Even though he knew he was alone, he couldn't help but feel that something was watching him at all times. He didn't think that it stemmed from him keeping his identity a secret, either.

It was something else.

The memories came from somewhere else... some deep, dark place in the back of his mind that wanted desperately to resurface despite how hard L tried to fight it.

Eyes glazed in fear, and finding himself unable to think about anything other than _that_ period of his life, L's breathing became unsteady as unpleasant thoughts filled his head. Oh why, oh why did Watari have to be gone right now? Why couldn't have Watari been there so that at least he had someone to control himself in front of? But he was here, all alone, all alone with nothing but some sweets, his laptop, and his emotions. Dreadful, dreadful emotions. Dreadful, dreadful memories.

 _He was a child... just a child... What had he done to deserve this? As an adult, he wasn't exactly an angel, him hacking into security cameras and tangling with dangerous criminals and all, but as a child... what did he do? What had he done that was so awful his mommy and daddy didn't love him?_

L shook his head, trying to suppress his mind from going back to when he was a child, but when he opened his eyes that he didn't realize were closed, all he could see were his childhood memories taunting him, mocking him, making fun of the surprising vulnerability of L's mind. L's mind was brilliant yet fragile, and usually it kept itself in check at all times. This _wasn't_ one of those times.

"Get it together, L!" L snapped at himself but to no avail. He couldn't stop himself from returning to when he was a child no matter no hard he tried.

 _"Daddy...! I promise to be good! I promise! I-I won't be bad again!" L pleaded, his tone stuttering and chocked with horror as he dropped the strawberry he held in his hands. They were in the kitchen, and L's dad had caught him stealing a strawberry out of the fridge. As L begged his father not to beat him, he could hear his stomach growl and ache with hunger-pangs. He could feel the contents, if there was anything in there, of his stomach turn. He was hammered in the gut with flustered panic as it demanded food. It appeared that since luck wasn't on his side tonight, he would end up not only hungry, but hurting as well._

 _"Shut up, you smartass," a man grunted, looking into the child's big, obsidian-black eyes with a glare of sheer hatred, of sheer disgust. He walked over to L, and when he approached, he smacked L hard on the face, leaving a red mark on the child's cheek. He grabbed L by the hair and pulled the boy up to meet him at eye level. L tried to avert his eyes, but it was no use. The man, who was apparently his father, used his free hand to grip L's chin and force eye-contact with his son._

 _"Daddy!" the child squirmed, his arms waving wildly in the hopes of getting free of the man's grasp. Tears ran out of his eyes, tears of terror and pain. His voice quivered when he spoke, his words barely eligible through his sobs, "I promise I'll behave! I promise! Just give me another chance! I won't eat until you tell me next time! I won't sneak something out of the fridge! I promise I'll do better, I-"_

 _"SHUT UP!" the sharp, jarring voice bellowed throughout the small house L was forced to call home. The house was small, so small in fact that it only had two rooms and no second floor. The living room, kitchen, and bedroom were all jam-packed into one area, and the only room that had any privacy was the tiny bathroom with a leaky shower that spewed only cold water, not that L had gotten the opportunity to bathe recently._

 _By this point, L was flinching due to the pain of being held up in the air by nothing but his filthy, untidy hair. He was dangling in his father's hold, tears pouring off his face and onto the floor composed of creaking wooden floorboards, and L desperately flailed his arms and legs in the air like a terrified animal trying to get out of a trap, which in spirit, he was. L was screaming and crying and begging even though he knew it was no use._

 _He had tried being nice to his daddy, he had tried avoiding his daddy so that he wouldn't notice him and beat him, he had tried screaming, he had tried crying, he had tried begging, and heck, he had even tried a combination of the five strategies listed above, but nothing worked. Nothing could make his daddy love him. Nothing could just end it all._

 _L's father tossed L to the floor where he went limp like a rag-doll, pressed his booted foot on L's head, and pulled out a knife that glinted in the kitchen's flickering lights. "Daddy!" L wailed. He dared to look up at his daddy, and he shuttered. His father was like an older, angrier reflection of the child, and although L hated that, he didn't hate it for the reason you'd expect. The reason why he hated the fact that he looked like his father so much was centered more around self-loathe, not anger towards the person who had abused him for as long as he could remember. L didn't have room in his heart to be angry at his father; fear had pushed everything out of the way._

 _He hated that he looked like his father because didn't want to **become** his father, not because he held anything personal against the man. It was just that... if he grew up to be even the tiniest bit similar to his father, he would hate himself for it, hate himself because he didn't want to be an angry man who hurt children, and since he already looked like his father, self-hatred had been boiling up for a long time._

 _The black eyes that looked like spheres of charcoal, the pale skin that was only a few shades off being the color of paper, the raven-black hair messily arranged across his head, L hated it all. L hated every single feature that was on his face, hated every time he looked into a mirror, and he hated the thought of growing up into someone who hurt others. The only differences between him and his father rested in the personality, height, and weight departments. That was why when he grew up, he didn't want to be a doctor or astronaut or cop or anything normal children wanted to be. The only thing he wanted to be was the exact opposite of who his father was._

 _L wanted to do something with his life, but he didn't know what, all while his father could barely retain a job for more than a week. He wanted to be calm, to be collected and not have emotionally charged outbursts, unlike the fits of anger shown by the person who was **supposed to** take care of him. He wanted to love someone and to have someone love him back. He wanted a place in this world, this chaotic, unforgiving world._

 _"MOMMY! MOMMY!" L cried in vain._

 _"YOUR MOMMY DOESN'T LOVE YOU! YOU'RE THE REASON WHY SHE LEFT!" his father screamed at the top of his lungs. He was so loud that his voice echoed across the house, sending shutters down L's spine whenever heard the words bounce back to him._

 _"Why?!" L sobbed out, and he was struggling again to get away from his daddy, who had now pinned the poor child down to the floor, his weight pressed on top of the child's thin, malnourished frame. His father, as it would probably be assumed, didn't exactly feed L on a regular basis, thus causing his sharp yet tiny bones to poke out from beneath his skin._

 _His father's weight was crushing on top of L's body, and the young boy shook and waved around his arms and legs violently, all in an attempt to get his father off of him._

 _Cut, cut, cut, the blade in his father's hands slashed the child's wrists. Cut, cut, cut, now there was a cut on his forehead, cheek, and stomach. Cut, cut, cut, now the child's clothes were stained with blood. Cut, cut, cut, L was screaming in agony._

 _"Why can't mommy come and save me?!" L asked no one in particular, not even expecting an answer. He predicted only more cuts to his delicate, scarred skin._

 _His father punched him across the face, causing a bruise and bloody nose to form. L grimaced. He flinched. He made every expression there was that conveyed discomfort and pain. His vision grew blurry not only from the tears chocking his eyes, but due to the fact that his father had cut him dozens of times by now, he was losing blood quickly. Shades of black and red tainted the edges of his vision, but as much as he wanted to faint, he couldn't. It was too dangerous to, and through years of trying to stay awake so that he could struggle against his father's beatings, he developed eye-bags, something a child of his age shouldn't even be in danger of having._

 _His cries rang through the home, but he knew no one would come and save him. He wasn't worth saving, his father told him. He told L that he wasn't worth anything, that he wasn't worth being given the position of life on this earth, and that he wasn't worth the resources necessary for him to be born._

 _"You're nothing," his father sneered._

 _L's sobs continued through the night, even when his so-called father left him to go to a bar or something, who cursed and said something about how if L was never born, the love of his life would still be there, or something along the lines of that on his way out. When he left, L heard the slam of a door, and he, still crying his eyes out, curled up in a corner and brought his knees up to his chest, as it brought him the tiniest bit of comfort._

 _Oh what it would be like, he wondered, for him to live in a loving family, for him to be a normal child, and for him to have parents that actually loved him, who actually looked after him and kissed him on the forehead whenever he got hurt. Whenever he saw children through the window of his "home", he saw them screaming with glee, laughing without a care in the world, and running around as if nothing mattered except the game of tag they were playing._

 _Oh how he would've loved to be normal, to have a normal childhood, to live in a normal household with parents who didn't beat him bloody._

 _And the child wept, wept and begged and prayed that he, too, could be like other children, to be playing in a field with friends and catching ladybugs to show off to his parents._

 _"Why does daddy hate me?!" L cried out into the empty room, the only things keeping him company being tears, pain, and his bloody nose._

"WHY DO YOU HATE ME?!" L returned to present day, although he was still stuck in the mindset of when he was young. He wailed in the hotel room, dry tears falling from his eyes, for he had exhausted most teardrops from his system years ago. He didn't care that he had to erase camera footage or figure out who out of the five suspects he had were guilty of committing a string of mass-murders across this particular region of Japan. All he wanted to do was to bury his head in a pillow and cry dry, imaginary tears.

Slamming his computer shut, he rushed into the bedroom and crashed himself onto one of the beds. He lunged under the dark green bed-sheets and wrapped the bed's thick blanket around himself. He covered his entire body with the blanket except for his face, which was ironic because half of his life was spent trying to hide it. With the blanket draped over his body and hair, L started shivering. As usual, he curled his legs up to his chest, similar to when he did so as a scared, abused child.

Tremors shook his body through and through, and L was disgusted at himself that he couldn't control them. His hands were shaking, his knees felt like jelly, and he wanted so badly to just shed a few tears. He couldn't, though. He was too weak to cry. That tear from earlier took as much effort from within him as he could muster, and he wasn't sure if he was ready to do something like that twice in the same night. Sure, people often saw crying as a sign of weakness, but L thought the exact opposite. To him, crying was not only a way to show that you were human, but it also showed that you had strength, strength and courage to show yourself at your worst despite how embarrassed or ashamed you might've been.

L darted his eyes around the room, afraid that his father might've sneaked in or something and was hiding behind a curtain. "Don't be silly, L, of course father can't reach me here, right? You're in a hotel room, all alone, in the dark, with only the TVs from the other room as lighting, so you're fine, you're completely safe, right?" L tried to reassure himself, but his words weren't convincing. His words were shaking, trebling, wavering a little, even.

"I really am a child, aren't I?" L asked himself, his death-grip on the blanket around him tightening as he said that. "Where's Watari when you need him?" L whispered in the lowest voice he could, the detective still afraid that his father might hear him and come charging in through the bathroom.

 _Beep! Beep! Beep!_ "AH!" L was convinced that he jumped ten feet in the air, because when he settled back down, he laid in a heap on the floor, him being tangled in the blanket he clutched onto as if his life depended on it. "Who is it?! Who's in here?! Show yourself!" L tilted his head in all directions, his fear growing by the second as no response came to his words.

He then looked at his laptop, which was still laying on the couch where he left it. Upon realizing that he still needed to catch a serial killer and was working on a case, L smacked his forehead with the palm of his hand. _"Uh! Why the hell did that email notification startle me so much?"_ L practically crawled over to his laptop and opened it, the blanket still dragging behind him. He pulled up his email, and sure enough, there was a message from the NPA.

Both blushing out of embarrassment from his freak-out and sighing in relief that no one was in the room with him, L quickly read the email, his eyes barely scanning the page for ten seconds before he finished reading. It asked for him to have a presentation for the police force by tomorrow at seven in the morning, and even though he was grumbling and didn't want to do anything else other than curl up in bed and shut away the world forever, he replied to the email typing, "Yes, my presentation will be completed by tomorrow, and the killer will be brought to justice eventually. I will most likely still need a few more days on the case, though, so please be patient. -L"

L sighed and looked at the clock. It was now eleven P.M., and he still had a whole night's worth of work ahead of him. He slammed his head against the soft, pillowy couch cushions, and he leaped onto the couch. He had promised a presentation by tomorrow, and with the evidence and suspect list he had, he probably would've been able to provide something adequate by the designated time he needed to complete the presentation at.

Getting back to work, L pushed out his childhood traumas for the time being, but not before muttering, "I hate it when Watari's gone." He appeared to be pouting, but on the inside, there was just turmoil and the need to sob into a pillow. For once he wished he had a sleep schedule at least similar to everyone else's, so that the NPA knew not to bother him at this time of night. Despite the common suspicion that he was an all-knowing, non-feeling robot, he was only human, although it would be a while before he came to realize this.

"When will you come back, Watari? I need you in my life," L let his signature expression of an impassive, indifferent face creep its way back on, and he resumed typing, trying his best to pretend that nothing happened. From the look of terror and paranoia in his eyes, though, an eye as trained as L's would've been able to pick up the distress whispering harsh things to him in the background of his head.

* * *

 **Well, this was a depressing chapter! Hip, hip, hooray! *proceeds to throw confetti and streamers into the air***

 **Light: That is not a normal reaction to someone suffering!**

 **Me: As if you care if someone's suffering! In case you haven't noticed, you're a serial killer who thinks all of his killing are justified!**

 **Light: It least I'm good at pretending that I actually have human emotions! It hides the fact that I am Kira!**

 **L: *is somehow standing behind Light* Oh, so you are Kira. Very good, I get to live, then.**

 **Light: What?! No! This is a mistake, a slip of the tongue, please-**

 **L: *is holding a pair of handcuffs* Also, when I told you all those percentages of you being Kira, I was lying. The probability of you being Kira actually exceeded ninety percent the moment I met you.**

 **Light: Seriously?! Handcuffs again?! I've had enough of them for a lifetime!  
**

 **Me: Anyhoo, please read, review, favorite, follow, etc. if you'd like, since that really does mean a lot to me. I'd love to see what you guys think of this chapter! Again, sorry if L was OOC in this chapter, and I hope you still enjoyed if he was, emphasis on the hope part.**


	4. Watari's Favorite Lollipop Flavor

**Hello there! Welcome back! Before we start, I'd like to apologize for how depressing last chapter was. To make up for it, though, this chapter is much more upbeat and filled with much more fluff than the last one, and it's about how Watari finally comes back after a week of absence. Hey, he's gotta have a vacation squeezed in there somewhere, you know!**

 **Anyhoo, I hope you enjoy Watari and L's interactions, and would you like for me to write more flashbacks scenes? I really enjoy writing them, but I'm not sure if you enjoy reading them. Please tell me in the reviews below about what you think of the flashbacks I write, and I wouldn't mind at all if you'd tell me what you think of this story. I like it when people point out the positives as well as the negatives of my story so that I can improve as a writer, and I must warn you, if you're willing to go along for the ride as we journey through this fanfic, it might take a while to complete... a long while... Although, that does depend on how busy I am, so we'll see in due time when this gets finished, if it gets finished at all. I hate to leave readers hanging, but writer's block... it is a curse that pops up from nowhere and leaves as quickly as it comes.**

 **L is also much more excited than usual this chapter, and even though there are not many opportunities to write L while he's running around in glee due to his seemingly emotionless nature, I'd imagine that based on the bond he shares with Watari, L would be pretty psyched if Watari comes back after a week of him being barely able to cope. Well, that's all I have to say for this author's note, so sit down, maybe grab something to eat and/or drink, and I hope you enjoy!**

 **Chapter 4: Watari's Favorite Lollipop Flavor**

* * *

This was it... This was it! Watari would finally be coming back! If L had the emotional capacity to do so, he would've dared to run around screaming with delight. He had survived the entire week, and he was going to pick Watari up from the airport today! L, unlike his usual self, rushed around the hotel room to get ready, stepping on top of candy-wrappers as he scampered around. He had already hacked all the hotel's video-cameras, removed any footage that contained him, and temporarily disabled the hotel's surveillance system an hour ago, so he was well on his way out of here and to Watari.

Granted, he didn't exactly have to do much to get ready; all he had to do was brush his teeth, put on his usual outfit of a white shirt and pair of jeans, and give his hair a short, brisk brushing. He wouldn't even have to pick up Watari for another three hours.

Yes, Watari's flight would land at seven in the morning, but L, who wasn't exactly a heavy sleeper, had spent the entire night pacing around the hotel room in anticipation for Watari to get back. Since he wasn't too keen on driving and the airport was only a short walk away, Watari decided to get to and from the airport by foot, saying that he enjoyed the winter snow and refreshing coldness in the air. Although, L could tell that Watari just wanted for the young detective to go outside for once, which was why Watari had insisted that L walk with him to the airport to drop him off and pick him up in the same manner.

L didn't even care that he had to go out in public. He was just overwhelmed with relief and joy that he would finally get his Watari back, and he was acting like an excited child when the hour of their parents coming home from work came near. _"Childish, but who cares?"_ L thought as he zipped around the hotel faster than he thought was possible for him. L had never been one to move at ten-million miles per hour in hyperactivity, well, not his body, anyway. His mind... that was a different story. But at the moment, that didn't matter in the least to him. He just wanted to run up to Watari and hug him, as embarrassing as that might be in public, especially if you happen to be a weird-looking, socially awkward adult, but again, he didn't care. All he cared about was that Watari would come back to him safe and sound, and everything would return to normal again.

As he sprinted around the room in pure and utter excitement, he woke up the people in the surrounding hotel rooms. He even heard someone bang their fist on the wall to get him to shut up, but it was no use. He was completely alone in a hotel room, protected by the walls around him, and there was nothing anyone could do about it. Because he didn't have anyone with him right now, no one could see the massive, child-like grin on his face, and no one could judge him for running around a room without a shirt on because he was so thrilled for his parental figure to finally be returning.

"Who can be up this early in the morning?!" someone complained from the room to L's right. "Go back to sleep! It's... four o' clock in the morning!"

L assumed that pause in that person's sentence was to check the time, and he simply retorted, although too softly for the person on the other side of the wall to hear him, with a bit of sarcasm in his voice, "Well, you're up at this time, so you have no right to tell me to go back to sleep." That was just a witty remark he came up with at the top of his head, though, and he was fully aware that the only reason this person was awake right now was because of him.

He stuck out his tongue and faced the wall where his neighbor's complaint came from, and with that, he stuck his tongue back in and dug around the piles of clothes that had built up during his stay to find a shirt that both didn't smell like armpits and had a lack of chocolate stains on them.

Hopping onto the armrest of a couch, L peered onto the couch cushions in the hopes to find a clean shirt. _"Oh, what luck,"_ L chuckled internally as he picked up a shirt that was miraculously still clean. Quickly, he slid the shirt onto his body, and he landed stomach-first on the couch, swinging his legs behind his back at his heart that was pounding in happiness and his brain that was finally finding some clarity upon realizing that Watari would be back today.

Thinking about what he should have for his definitely-not-too-early-breakfast, he saw a lollipop sitting on the table next to the couch. He reached over to retrieve it, but just as he was about to unwrap the sweet and put it in his mouth, he read the label. He swiftly shoved it into his pocket, knowing that the lollipop was root-beer-flavored, which was Watari's favorite lollipop flavor. He would save that one for Watari.

He sat up, bringing his knees up to his chest of course, and he scanned the room to see if there was anything he could eat. After seeing that everything was either eaten or something he wasn't in the mood for, L hobbled up to his feet and proceeded to make his way to the fridge. He opened it, and he saw some sort of strawberry tart laying in it. Settling on that, L took it out of the refrigerator and searched for a fork. He found one laying in the coffeemaker for whatever reason, but he decided to use that fork regardless.

After finishing his breakfast at breakneck speed, L moved himself over to the camera equipment he would have to pack. Under normal circumstances, Watari would pack it, but due to the fact that he wasn't here right now, L was stuck with the packing.

At first, he tried just stuffing all the equipment into the suitcase that was reserved for electronics. That didn't work. Next, he stacked all the TV screens on top of each other since he enjoyed to stack things anyway, packed the screens away into the suitcase, and tried to cram the wires in between the gaps inside the suitcase. That also didn't work. Everything just kept popping out of the suitcase when he closed it. Still, he would not give up, because if he could solve the world's hardest and longest-running cold cases, then surely he could figure out how to pack some camera equipment.

After another two tries, L found that wrapping the TV screens in the wires after he stacked them on top of each other worked, much to his relief. He didn't want to be late in greeting Watari because of some cables and television screens. He threw his owns clothes in another suitcase, dumped all his trash from all the sweets he ate into an already overflowing trashcan, and sat on the couch to relax.

He stole a quick glance of the alarm clock in the other room through the open door, and the clock was on top of a small table in between the two beds of the bedroom. It read five-thirty-three A.M. As his excitement calmed, L leaned his back against the backboard of the couch, placing his thump between his lips as the agonizingly slow minutes ticked by. He began twitching slightly, getting more and more impatient while waiting for Watari's return. With time on his hands, he thought about what he had to do when the time came for him to leave.

As soon as L entered the lobby, he would have to check out, which was something he was rather nervous about, him not being a social person and all. Watari couldn't check him out not only because he wasn't here with L right now, but he and L would have to immediately leave for the next hotel after L picked Watari up, to avoid being late to the next place they were staying at. That meant that L actually would have to talk to some random person at the front desk before going off to meet with Watari. Him going out to that bakery earlier already put a stain on him, but he had to checkout by himself, for Watari's sake. It was hard enough for Watari to find them a room in a crowded city so far in advance, and although Watari had tried to reserve other rooms for L to stay in throughout this week, all the hotels happened to be overbooked. Combined with the fact that L didn't have the life skills to talk face to face with a person to request a room when he got to a hotel, Watari hesitantly had L stay in this hotel for a week, although the older man was obviously concerned that it could put L in danger if he stayed in one location for too long.

L told Watari not to worry, though, to enjoy his vacation, despite the fact that he was feeling different from what he told his guardian, but L told the truth. Well... sort of... He really wanted for Watari to enjoy his vacation. He earned it, and honestly, L felt a little ashamed at what he put Watari through just because he didn't have the ability to live on his own.

Then, L looked at the clock again, _"Uh! Another hour before I can go to the airport to meet up with Watari!"_

* * *

"Watari!" L frantically swung his head around, desperately searching the crowd for Watari. Ah! All these people! L could barely stand it! Every few seconds, someone would pass by L, accidentally brushing up against him. As expected, this made L grimace. Did he tell you that he hated being touched? L shuttered in distaste as everyone around him was either making a mad dash to their respective flights or crashing into each other because every square centimeter was overrun with humans.

Just to check if Watari's flight was late or not, L took a quick glance at one of the many monitors scattered throughout the airport that contained information about incoming and exiting flights. Soon enough, he found the number of Watari's flight, which was flight 162. Last night, he spent around two hours repeating Watari's flight number over and over again, afraid that he would forget that number even though he knew it was an impossibility.

Flight 162 would be at gate G-6, L reminded himself for the hundredth time(literally, he was counting). Trying to settle his nerves, L retreated into his head to pick out the next train of thought that rolled through his head. He saw thoughts swirl around him, swearing that he could hear the faint whistle of a train as he decided on which train of thought to pick. Sometimes, he had multiple thought trains running around his head at once, but because of the overwhelming sensory information he was receiving right now, it was hard to focus on multiple thought processes at once, making L just stick with one.

When he arrived at gate G-6, he sat down on one of the nearby benches, not paying mind to the funny looks people were giving him because of the way he was dressed and his odd posture. In the few times L did go out into the public, he learned quick that he would get stared at no matter where he went, so any odd glances at him were easily brushed off. Besides, he had a train of thought to catch and had to look out for Watari at the same time, so it was not like his head would pay attention to the rest of his surroundings, whether he was used to the stunned looks or not.

Eyes running over the swarm of people, L had always been quite glad that you could recognize Watari in a crowd in an instant, but it wasn't that Watari stood out from the crowd in the same way L did. In fact, he blended in rather well with the suit, tie, and comforting, calm face. And his eyes, those gentle, smiling eyes that were always happy to see L. Watari... he was the only person who knew L for _who_ he was, not _what_ he was. Everyone saw L as, well, L, the last-ditch-effort detective whom you contacted when everything went wrong, when everything else failed. To them, he was a machine, something inhuman, a last of the last resort that you were willing to work with only when you reached the very end of the line, but Watari... Watari was like- No, he _was_ L's father, and he _always_ would be his father, even when the day came for him to go. He was the only person who knew that L was human, that he had feelings, too. Watari was the only person that genuinely cared about him. Sure, the world's governments said that they needed him, that they needed L, but if L died, no one would care. The world would probably be mopey about it for a day or two and then move on, onto another detective, but Watari was the only one who didn't only know L, but _L Lawliet_ , the flesh and bones _person_.

L could always count on the kind, peaceful look in Watari's eyes. That made him stand out from a crowd. Not his appearance, not his secret position as the only person who could contact L, but his warm eyes, his kind smile, the way positive energy practically radiated from him as if he was a sun that was composed of only the nicest things. It made Watari special... it made Watari his Watari, the person that loved and cared for L since he was eight. How he got to Watari was a tender, sore memory that he didn't want to touch up upon. Too much had happened before he met Watari that he simply wanted to forget. His biological father had done too much... He only wanted to remember the parts of his life that had Watari, the caring, compassionate man that never lost hope in L no matter how many times he regressed.

Just as L started to rest his head on his knees in preparation to wait some more for Watari, he suddenly heard a familiar voice that always made him perk up. For once, he sat up straight, and he poked his head through the crowd.

"Ryuzaki?!" L could hear Watari call. Watari knew L's real name. He was the only one who knew his real name other than him, actually, but of course, for safety reasons, Watari referred to L as Ryuzaki in public. L pretty much jumped out of his seat, him looking like a cat springing up from a couch. L darted his head around, and he tried his best to find the source of the voice that he always looked forward to hearing.

"Watari!" L jumped up and down, not paying attention to his childish behavior. "Watari!" L ran up to a tuft of grey and white hair, which couldn't be anyone else's hair other than Watari's, that was making its way through the mass of busy, rushing people, and despite the chaos around Watari, his stride was slow and calm, it being clear that he wasn't in any sort of a rush.

L ran halfway through the gate, past seats packed with passengers anxiously awaiting their flights and hustling travelers hurrying to their next destination, and as soon as Watari came into view, L leaped up, landing himself into Watari's open, loving arms. They embraced in a tight hug, and although L wasn't exactly the type of person to enjoy physical contact, Watari was the one exception.

"Oh, Ryuzaki, I missed you," L looked up to see Watari smiling warmly, and he couldn't contain his grin, either, no matter how small it was. L's shimmering, joy-filled eyes caused for Watari's smile to widen, and L buried his head into whom he called his father's chest.

"I missed you, too," L sighed, all the stress that was in him before simply melting away at the contact he had with his guardian. If he was alone, he probably would've cried if he had the strength in his heart, and even now, after a painfully long, Watari-less week, his heart thumped with happiness as he swore someone in the airport was cutting onions.

"Come on, let's go to the hotel," Watari had pried L off of him, and now Watari was holding L's hand as if L was his kid, which L felt like he was.

"Okay," L nodded, too overcome with euphoria to object to something as nerve-wrecking to him as walking out in public. The hotel there were going to stay at wasn't too far away, anyway, so the walk there didn't even remotely bother him. It wouldn't bother him as long as Watari was by his side. L was clinging onto Watari's sleeve, him trying to not mind everyone else and just concentrate on Watari as they navigated themselves to one of the airport's exits.

"So how was your week?" Watari questioned, his mustache moving with his words, and L giggled as he saw Watari's mustache vibrate slightly on top of his mouth. It took him a week to realize how much he missed the way Watari's mustache moved as he spoke. He missed everything about Watari, really, even the part of his caregiver that always pestered him to go out more and to be more social.

"Mmm... it was okay," L lied, ignoring the breakdown he had a few days ago as he didn't want to ruin the moment. "I met a strange, interesting man. I haven't seen him since..." L paused to count how many days ago he met Light, still attempting to sound neutral and to hide the delight building in his voice, "four days ago, but he is very unique. I had the conversation of my life with him." Since the airport was full of loud, constant chatter, L had to speak slightly louder than he normally would, but he didn't mind. With Watari, he felt safe and complete, and he wanted to scream like a thrilled, hyper kid.

"Oh, that's wonderful!" Watari beamed, looking kindly down at L, who was slightly shorter than Watari when he was hunched over. Watari's tone was that of an ecstatic parent who was thrilled that his antisocial child had finally made a friend, and he continued, "Maybe you should go out with him some time, it's nice if you can have a friend."

"I... I don't know," L shrugged. "I'm not too fond of friendships."

"How can you know if you've never tried?" Watari arched one of his bushy eyebrows, hinting that it was more of a statement than a question. As they conversed, they exited the airport through the sliding glass doors, and L put back on the coat that was previously draped over his shoulder. Watari buttoned up his jumper as well, and when they stepped outside, they were attacked by a flurry of snowflakes and icy wind that nearly knocked L over.

Clutching Watari's coat tighter, L hid behind Watari for protection from the snow.

"Looks like this is a bad time to walk back," Watari paused to think for a moment. "Do you think you'll be able to make the ten minute walk to the hotel, Ryuzaki?" L nodded, too caught up in Watari's return to think straight. Besides, he'd seen worse... as a child... L shook his head for a brief moment.

 _"No,"_ L scolded to himself. _"You already know how well it'll turn out if you remind yourself of your childhood; don't lose control... You can't lose yourself now, not with Watari finally back."_

"Are you sure, Ryuzaki? I can always walk to the hotel and drive the car here to you, I know you aren't really the type of person to be awfully glad to be walking, especially in this weather," L shivered at how Watari's voice actually sounded like it was concerned for him, how it sounded like it was worried that he might catch a cold or something if he stayed out in the cold for too long.

"I-I'll be fine, d-don't worry," L said through chattering teeth. He didn't want to leave Watari, nor did he want to put the person he cared about most through the inconvenience of walking to the hotel alone only to have to drive back just because L didn't relish in the idea of walking all that much. Yes, Watari did make arrangements for the car L usually rode in to be dropped off at the hotel they were going to stay at, but something was just nice about being with Watari. It was just nice to be around someone who cared for him and never gave up on him in general, prompting L's decision to walk with the person he trusted most.

While L still held Watari's hand, they crossed the street, and they chatted to make up for lost time. "Would you like to talk more about Light? If he's sparked your interest, then I'd be more than happy to make arrangements for you to meet again."

"Like I said," L looked down at the ground, which was covered in snowbanks and footprints. They were two small people among countless, towering skyscrapers that had sheets of heaping snow piled on top of them, and he saw the beautiful, shimmering snowflakes that went wherever the wind took them, taking the time to absorb his wondrous surroundings before speaking once more. "I'm not much of a person who enjoys hanging out with others," L sounded stubborn, and when Watari spoke, he sounded like a parent who was trying to convince their child to do something they didn't want to do.

It was nice how everything was back to normal, how L and Watari were acting like a father and his son who were disagreeing on a topic. All the aspects of being under the care of a parent, negative and positive, comforted L in the tiniest way. With his horrific childhood experiences, the way Watari treated him... the way Watari treated him like a son... it was as if Watari could make all the hurtful, stinging memories just dissolve like snow in the spring. When L thought of his parents, his biological parents never came to mind; Watari had taken their places.

There was a moment of silence, silence as snow and wind assaulted their coats, as they heard the background howl of winter in the air, as they heard the tapping of the feet that belonged to everyone around them, but there they were, standing still and facing each other, just taking in the peaceful, relaxing silence before Watari spoke.

"Is anything wrong?" Watari knelt down a little, emulating a parent trying to cheer up their upset, angsty teenager. He set his hands on L's thin shoulders and looked him in the two black pools that were his eyes. Watari spoke soft, reassuring words, and although L couldn't remember exactly what Watari said, it was his tone that really made the moment sink in.

Out of nowhere, L wrapped his arms around Watari's waist, hugging the older man as if there was no tomorrow. "I missed you," L whispered, his voice barely a whisper and on the verge of breaking. Watari let L nuzzle against his chest, patting L on the back and squeezing him as tight as he could without hurting him. L didn't know why he chose to hug Watari all of a sudden, but he didn't have to know. Watari was good enough of a reason for him to do anything.

"I missed you, too," Watari picked L up a few centimeters off the ground, taking his turn to clutch onto L like he was afraid L would vanish if he let go for just a second. L cocked his head up a bit when he felt something warm and wet on his shoulder, and when he backed his head away from Watari to get a view of what was going on, he saw tears running down Watari's face.

"Watari..." L couldn't find the words to address him.

"Ryuzaki..." Watari lowered his voice so that no one other than L would hear the next part, bringing his mouth up to L's ear to make sure L could understand what he said. "Lawliet... I missed you, and I mean it. It's felt like forever since I last saw my son, and I don't care if we aren't related by blood. You will always, _always_ be the person dearest to me, you will _always_ be my child, even when I'm gone, do you understand?" L nodded against Watari's chest, and Watari smiled, wiping his tears away. It appeared that L wasn't the only one contemplating the day Watari would have to leave this earth.

"Watari... I will always love you," L squeezed Watari tighter if that was possible, getting lost in the warmth that was wrapped around him. "You are my father. Thank-you... thank-you for taking me in and refusing to abandon me, no matter how dire the situation seemed." L didn't like how vulnerable, how emotional his voice sounded, but again, he didn't care. All he cared about was that Watari was with him, _his_ Watari, and nothing could take his fatherly figure away, not even death, because Watari would always be in his memories. He wouldn't forget. He would **never** forget. These were the memories he wanted to hold on to, not the memories of his early childhood, but everything he did with Watari. Every time Watari insisted that he go out more, every time Watari dragged him into the bathtub after saying how deplorable his hygiene habits were, every time Watari made him eat a vegetable. These were the memories so many people took for-granted, but with L's experiences as a child, L would latch onto these memories he shared with Watari with such fondness, with such care that he could never let go.

"Anyway, we should get going-" Watari was about to finish his sentence when he heard snoring. He looked at L and awed, who had fallen asleep while in his embrace. He picked L up, plopping him on his back and giving him a piggyback-ride. He held onto L tight to avoid dropping him, and off he went, smiling. Knowing L, he must've not slept in a week, and by this point, he was probably beyond exhausted.

"Sleep tight, my son," the wrinkles on Watari's face gave way to a chuckle, and even though people gawked and stared at the strange sight of an elderly man carrying a sleeping, younger man on his back, he simply smiled at them and went along his merry way. The walk to the hotel wasn't that far, anyway, and he was glad that L fell asleep at all, not caring about the inconvenient location L dozed off at.

Watari's feet crunched through the snow as it bore both him and L, the snowfall still plummeting down relentlessly. As he carried L, he pulled L's coat tighter around him, as he really was worried that L would get sick or something if he didn't keep warm. He heard L's faint snores, and Watari wondered what was going on in L's head, what marvelous things must've happened when such an intriguing mind went to sleep. That, he would probably never know, as most of L's thoughts were beyond anyone's comprehension, but that was what made L special, what made him unique. It wasn't the way he dressed or his titles as the world's top three detectives; it was everything going on in that fascinating head of his.

L would always be _his_ L, Watari's L, and even when the time would come for Watari to pass away, he would always have a piece of L in his heart, for L was far too precious to let go, even when encountered with death.

"Just remember, you will be my son no matter what happens," Watari said to L despite the fact he knew L was sleeping. He said that more to himself than to L, though, because he, unknown to L, was also afraid to let go, also afraid of the day when he would no longer be around to accompany his precious L. He was desperate for L to find a friend, not only because L was incredibly lonely, but because he wanted for L to have someone once he left this world.

Watari could hardly imagine his life without L anymore; L's presence had pushed away all the pain, all the sadness he had encountered in his long years. He could remember all those years ago, when he was a lonely, young inventor who didn't have anyone other than himself, and as he got older, then came L, the most dear person to him.

He didn't marry, didn't have children. Like L, Watari was a bit awkward himself when he was younger. It wasn't mildly close to the extent of L's eccentricities, though, and when he first met L, he was alone, scared, and made Watari realize how fortunate he had been, despite his loneliness.

 _"Hello there, you must be L Lawliet," Watari reached out his hand to the young boy, who was about eight or nine, in order to shake his hand. "I'm Watari." Watari stood inside an orphanage, and upon hearing L's story, he couldn't help but be a little curious. Found on the streets dirty, severely underweight, and terrified of everything, the people at the orphanage deemed L as a hopeless case. They said he sat weird, didn't have a taste for what everyone else ate, and was just plain crazy. Watari didn't know how someone could call an eight-year-old crazy, but he had to meet L for himself. He was just too interesting to resist._

 _"Ah! Who are you?! Don't touch me!" a messy-haired, pale-skinned boy sat in the corner of the playroom, away from all the other happily playing children. "Don't hurt me!" L cried out, hiding his face behind the sleeve of his baggy white shirt._

 _"I'm not going to hurt you," Watari had knelt down on his knees, trying to win over the child's trust. The people that worked at the orphanage said that when they found L, he wouldn't let anyone touch him. He wouldn't even talk without bursting into tears, as if he was scared of something... or someone. He had plenty of scars and bruises, so they assumed that L was abused at one point or another. Even so, they didn't think it was possible for a child to be so utterly terrified, to have that many walls up at such a young age. Therefore, they said that his case was hopeless after he refused to talk to the other children even though he had spent six months at the orphanage, much less play with them._

 _"How do I know that?!" L spat out, cowering in the corner orphanage staff said he refused to leave. "How do I know that you're not going to hit me?!"_

 _"Why would I hit you?" Watari asked, trying his best to hide the shock in his voice and to remain calm and gentle. An idea suddenly popped into his head, and he reached into his pocket. "Would you like a lollipop? It's root-beer-flavored."_

 _"What's a lollipop?" L inquired._

 _"Oh, so you've never had one before?" Watari tilted his head in confusion._

 _"No," L flatly replied now that he had the chance to calm down from his initial interaction with Watari._

 _"It's a sweet, here," Watari handed L the lollipop, who took it with hesitant hands, and Watari pulled out yet another root-beer-flavored lollipop from the pocket of his suit. "You just unwrap it and pop it into your mouth, like so," Watari did the actions he described, smiling softly as he enjoyed the sugary treat._

 _L, still suspicious that he would do something wrong, didn't put the piece of candy in his mouth... at first._

 _"Go on," Watari insisted with a gesture of his hand. "The lollipop isn't going to hurt you; it's only a piece of candy."_

 _"Candy?" L sounded more confused than before._

 _"You've never had a sweet?" Watari couldn't believe what he was hearing. What child had never had a sweet before? L shook his head in reply, indicating a no._

 _"Will you punish me if I put this in my mouth?" L narrowed his eyes, his glare towards Watari filled with mistrust. That look L gave... It could've easily been mistaken for anger, but Watari knew better. L was scared, not angry, and getting mad at L wasn't going to do anything. He had to win over this child's trust, no matter how difficult it might've been._

 _"What? Of course I won't punish you, it's just a treat," Watari took the lollipop out of his mouth, and then he put it back in for L to copy said action. L, his eyes still burning their way into Watari's memories to haunt him at night, held the sucker-stick that held the candy with his right hand, between his forefinger and thumb. He unwrapped the lollipop with his left hand, again, holding the wrapper between his pointer-finger and his thump, and he clasped the lollipop in between the top and bottom rows of his teeth._

 _L cautiously touched the candy with his tongue, and instantly, the look of fear on his face was replaced by one of curiosity as his eyes widened in pleasant surprise._

 _"It's good, isn't it?" Watari beamed. L nodded as he continued sucking on the sugary treat, and as he ate it, his fingers, and somehow his hair, became sticky with bits and pieces of lollipop, causing for Watari to laugh in amusement._

 _This boy was interesting, to say the least, and Watari planned on keeping in touch with him. Maybe L Lawliet could even fill the void years of loneliness left. Maybe he could even call L family someday..._

Suddenly, Watari noticed something fall out of L's pocket while he carried him; it was a root-beer-flavored lollipop. Bending down to the ground to pick up the lollipop, Watari couldn't help but smile one more time. Whenever there was uneaten candy in L's pocket, that meant only one thing, and Watari knew that because all the other times L had candy leftover in his pocket, he gave it to Watari.

"Such a sweet boy," Watari had picked up the lollipop at this point and was unwrapping it, gladly popping it into his mouth as he remembered how root-beer-flavored lollipops became his favorite candy, because that was the sweet he had given L the first time they met.

Looking back at when L was a little kid, Watari knew L was special the moment the orphanage staff mentioned him, and L wasn't only special because he was a genius and the world's best detective. L was special because he was Watari's son, and fathers always thought that their son was special.

* * *

 **Me: Okay, how do you think? Too much fluff? Too little? Or are you happy with the amount of fluffiness in this chapter. In my opinion, though, you can never have too much fluff!**

 **Light: *is somehow talking to me even though L had arrested him in the last post-story author's note* Says the person who enjoys watching characters suffer!**

 **Me: Says the person who's a serial killer!**

 **Light: *is shut up and has nothing left to say***

 **Okay, so I know this is an LXLight fanfiction, and I know you probably want to see more of Light, but don't worry, he'll be in the next chapter! I promise (maybe, I've never really been one to keep my promises)! If you'd like, please review and favorite and all that other stuff, and I have a question: I'm only curious, but there is a very interesting favorite to follow ratio for this fanfic. As of now, this fanfic has nine follows but only three favorites. Does anyone mind explaining that? I'm simply curious. Is it because the first chapter was interesting, but you don't know how it'll turn out and are following the fanfic before deciding to favorite? I'm just wondering.**

 **Anyhoo, as I said earlier (and I know I sound kind of desperate for reviews and favorites and whatnot), if you'd like, please review, favorite, etc. because I love to hear what you guys think of my writing and if the characters are in character.**

 **That's all I have to say, so have a nice day, everyone! :)**


	5. The Start of Something Beautiful

**Chapter 5: The Start of Something Beautiful**

* * *

"This case is harder than I originally thought," L grumbled, rubbing his temples as he did so. He had been working on this case for two weeks now, and although it seemed on the surface like your average murder case, it was anything but. The killings had gotten more random. The time, location, and victim had been getting more sporadic over the past week; the murderer had even managed to obtain a global reach, as now there were not only victims in a specific region of Japan. There were now murders in not only Japan, but in China, Brazil, America, France, Germany, and Australia, and L was sure all the killings were connected to the same case, due to all the murders occurring in a similar manner.

"The times, places, and types of people being killed are getting more random," L stated as he browsed through the data available on the case, which was stored on his computer. He and Watari were in some random hotel room that Watari booked a few days ago, and although they would be switching locations soon, L had an uneasy feeling in his stomach. The feeling was so distant... yet so familiar... as if they weren't safe even if they continuously changed locations. "And even though the murders have spread worldwide, I believe that they are still being committed by the same person."

"What makes you think that?" Watari, who was sitting in a velvet chair to L's left, questioned as he poured L another cup of tea. L took his teacup, which was now loaded with another boost of caffeine, gratefully. He plucked nine of the sugar-cubes that were laying in a small, porcelain bowl, which sat on the oak table next to the couch he was curled up in, and one by one, he plopped them into his drink in a method that was slightly more vigorous than his usual gentle, even dainty way of dropping sugar-cubes.

"What makes me think that?" L began to explain, sipping on his tea through his mumbling lips. "The thing is, despite the fact that the killer is getting more... unpredictable, so to speak, all these victims end up in the same way. They've all been mutilated in the stomach with precisely thirteen wounds, have had their throats cut open, and for some odd reason, the murderer decided to shave their heads before abandoning the corpse. I'm more than certain that the only reason this killer decided to go global is that it'll be harder to catch him or her, but they still want the world to know that it's still the same person behind all of this. This complicates things and the case, which is quite clever, I have to say. The killer is also committing their kills in a way that is much more gruesome than necessary, indicating either extreme malice and frustration towards the world or simple blood-lust. I'll have to acquire more evidence to decide between the two. Do you have any more pictures available on the victims, Watari? I'd like to see if there are any more patterns occurring with these killings, and I'd also like to see a complete list of names of the victims, to determine if this is a revenge scheme or if the killer is killing just for the sake of killing."

"L, are you feeling alright?" Watari suddenly spoke up. "You seem stressed."

"Ah, and why is that?" L continued to scroll through the data on his laptop, not bothering to look away or even bat an eye when Watari voiced his concerns. He didn't think that he was _that_ stressed-out, was he? Or maybe he should've just paid closer attention to his own condition to not spark Watari's fatherly instincts.

"Well," Watari gave L a look that was a combination of stern and worry. "For the past few days, you've been falling asleep while working on the case. May I mind you, you almost never fall asleep when you are doing something important. Also, when you came to pick me up from the airport last week, you fell asleep, and I had to carry y-"

"Wait, I did WHAT?!" L, for once, let his jaw hang in shock. How could he not have known about this?!

"You were awfully cute," Watari commented with a chuckle, much to the dismay of L, before he continued. His tone went serious again, "And not only that, you haven't eaten a sweet since this morning! That is far from your usual behavior. Then, I see you dropping sugar-cubes into your tea in a way that is much more violent than your usual manner of dropping sugar-cubes into tea, and you put an odd number of sugar-cubes into your tea, which, again, is highly abnormal. You almost always put an even number of sugar-cubes in your drinks! I can just continue on and on, but I believe you get the point by now."

"Hmmm..." L brought his thumb up to his lip, biting on the sore, chewed-up skin contained at the tip. L sighed, "You have no reason to be concerned, Wammy, I'm perfectly fine. This case is just taking a larger strain than I first thought."

"Okay, there's another thing I can add to my already long list of behaviors and actions that are unusual for L Lawliet," Watari said, and L tilted his head, wondering what new thing Watari added to what he claimed to be an already extensive list. "You called me Wammy, you only called me that when you were little... and only when you had nightmares," at that sentence, L's mind at once forgot all about what he was doing. L froze, him being more than a bit scared to tell Watari about the freak-out he had about his father last week.

Watari would not be pleased if L was keeping this from him, because even though L had an unprompted flashback about his father, not a dream, Watari would still want to know all the times L's mind reverted back to his past. Watari, being the fatherly figure that he was, understandably wanted to help L cope with the trauma from his childhood.

"I-I didn't have a nightmare..." L murmured softly, and he shook his head subconsciously, his voice, to his distaste, wavering and not conveying that he was fine. Knowing Watari, L knew that Watari detected he was anything but fine.

"L Lawliet, I know you're lying to me," Watari huffed, the voice he spoke with demanding that L tell him what really happened. Watari crossed his arms and added, "I'm not going to leave you alone about this until you tell me what happened. I need to know what's going on inside of you if I'm to help you."

"Fine," L slumped deeper into the couch, setting his teacup back down on the table and pausing the case he currently worked on. Though his face and tone were as blank and emotionless as ever, L's fingernails dug into the flesh of his knees, something he only ever did when he was genuinely worried about something. "It wasn't exactly a nightmare, not in the traditional sense, at least... It was more of a flashback. About my father... I don't want to talk about it, so can I please resume my work now?"

"You can't resume the case in this state," Watari breathed out a breath of tension. To L, it was clear as day that Watari was worried, and he hated it when Watari went into worried parent mode. It wasn't that he didn't need the support of Watari. L just didn't really like it when others worried about him, as he had other, more important things to occupy his attention with that were not related to his health and happiness. After all, there was a serial killer on the loose right now, and L really needed to solve this case before he could even get close to any form of relaxing.

"Yes, I can," L countered, trying to give the message of annoyance to Watari, but his words sounded more like a cry of helplessness. _"How pathetic of me,"_ L growled to himself. _"Okay, just try to avoid the topic of your biological father. It isn't that hard, is it...?"_

"Okay, reassuring yourself in your thoughts was a bad idea," L whispered, albeit too quietly for Watari to hear.

"No, you cannot," Watari stood strong behind his previous statement, his voice still uncharacteristically stern. "You could use a break on this case, L."

"But-" L tried to retaliate, but it was no use.

Watari interrupted him before L could finish, "As a parental figure, I am not asking you, but telling you to take a brief break. Now."

L could sense the fiery determination within Watari, and he knew that at this point, there was no arguing with his caretaker. Watari had won, just like how parents always win fights against their children. "Alright," L grunted, his tone a mix of bitter and hesitant. L decided, even though it was no use, to add one last counterargument, "But there's a murderer out there in the world. Surely, the prevailing of justice greatly outweighs the negative impact of missing one break."

"Maybe so, but this isn't just one missing break I'm talking about," Watari clasped his hands together, setting them on his lap as he cleared his throat to prepare for what L assumed to be a mini-speech. "You've been over-working yourself since you became L, since you were fourteen, and I regret that you've missed out on so much of your life. You've never had the chance to have a normal childhood or adolescence, so I urge you to give yourself some free time in order for you to live your life to its fullest."

L crossed his arms, clearly unhappy about what Watari just said. _"Uh, fatherly instincts..."_ L moaned in his thoughts. _"I feel they will be my downfall, no matter how pleasant it is to have someone that actually worries for you."_ "Fine, I'll take a break, but I'm going back to work in thirty minutes," L spat out the deal to Watari.

"You'll take a break that is one hour," Watari commanded.

"How about forty-five minutes?" L proposed the compromise, lifting his non-existent eyebrow as he spoke the words.

"That will have to do," Watari nodded, seemingly satisfied with L's suggestion.

"So," L closed his laptop. "What are you supposed to do on a break?" He nibbled on his thumb, only for Watari to grab the hand he was gnawing at, and Watari reminded him not to bite his thumb if he didn't want it to bleed. L rolled his eyes and settled on resting his thumb on his bottom lip, and the two sat in silence for a while.

"Well, there are many things people typically do when they're on break," Watari began to explain to L the concept of a break. "Some people go out, talk to friends or family, sometimes they eat..."

"I give the eating aspect of a break my full support," L interjected as he grabbed a small piece of chocolate that was sitting next to his computer. He nestled the sweet onto his tongue, and he made chewing noises as he ate.

Watari let out a little laugh, obviously amused by L's comment, "Maybe you could use this break to connect with that Light person you've been talking about all week, to just talk on the phone with him for a little while."

All of a sudden, L bit his lip. He hissed a bit under his breath from the pain of biting his lip so hard, but luckily, it didn't bleed. He'd been talking about Light all week...? He didn't think so... but... _"Oh fiddlesticks..."_ L just couldn't bring himself to curse, even in his head, and he brought his knees closer to his chest if that was possible. He hugged his knees, hanging his head down to hide the blush creeping on his cheeks. He'd never really talked about someone before, other than if it was about how they could potentially help with whichever investigation he was working on.

"Don't be embarrassed," Watari grinned from behind his mustache, and he gave L a reassuring pat on the shoulder, "even the world's best detective needs a friend."

"More accurately, the world's best three detectives," L corrected, earning another one of Watari's comforting, calming laughs.

"I can contact Light right now, since you are technically on break. Do you have his phone number?" Watari pulled out one of the three phones he had. He used the first phone, which he always kept turned on and with him, specifically for talking with L. This first phone frequently changed, as L frequently changed phones and numbers, and although it was inconvenient, the both of them changing phones and numbers every few months ensured the safety of their secret identities. The second phone was used for professional purposes, mostly to initiate contact with the world's governments when they needed L. The third phone was for general use and the one he would use to call Light.

"No, I didn't get a chance to ask for his number. I'm afraid I scared him away before I could do that..." L shook his head. "There's always hacking into the national database, if that helps."

"That'll have to do," Watari nodded, taking up his own personal laptop that was laying on the table next to him and L. He opened it and began typing, presumably to gain access to Light's phone number. Heh, L never said that he operated within legal boundaries, quite the contrary, actually.

"How long do you think accessing Light's phone number will take?" L inquired. Watari told him it would only take a few minutes, as the both of them, at this point, were quite used to hacking into things in order to get the information they wanted. For some reason or another, L was anxious to be able to contact Light. It was not like he was calling up a lost friend or something; they barely knew each other and had only met last week. Light was just... interesting...

L desperately needed an explanation as to why he was so drawn to Light, so he retreated into his thoughts to come up with something, anything to appease his brain because it always, no matter what the circumstances, needed something logically sound to back up anything new it encountered, especially if L thought this new thing was interesting.

He started nibbling on his thumb once more, but Watari was too distracted with finding Light's phone number to notice. _"Okay, L, think,"_ L could practically feel the neurons in his brain fire away as he sunk deeper into his thoughts. He took a deep breath, preparing to block out the world for a while to heighten his ability to deduct, _"I am aware that Light figuratively has a well-constructed mask on, which is interesting, but that can't be the only thing I find fascinating about him... I know he's quite handsome, but that's very shallow, so I'll try to exclude that from my opinions of him as much as possible. Still, one cannot ignore that he looks like he was groomed for perfection, groomed to be the very best, but his eyes give everything away... I can't forget those eyes, they're just too dead, too lifeless to forget, and any sparks of life within them stick out like a sore thumb, although not in a bad way. In fact... I like those sparks of life, they add even more interest, as if that's what he really is like behind that mask. Maybe that's why I want to know more about him. I desire to peel off that mask, but I already know that. The question is how I should go about peeling off his mask. It's not like I need to discover what's behind that smile and the manners,_ _he's just simply so intriguing that I cannot bear to only see him at face value-"_

"L, I have Light's number, and I am calling him right now," Watari dragged L from his safe inner bubble and back to reality, and L snapped his head back in surprise, only to see Watari dialing a phone number.

"Oh," L took the phone when Watari handed it to him. _"Looks like my thoughts about Light will have to wait, as I'm talking to said person right now."_

"Hello? This is Light Yagami," L could hear Light's polite yet vaguely annoyed voice on the other side of the line. "I'm at work right now, so-"

"Ah, Light, it's me, Ryuzaki," L chuckled inwardly as he heard Light's faint gasp on the other end of the line, but Light, judging from the tone of voice he used to reply to L, regained his composure rather quickly. His words were somehow calm and professional, even though Light's shock of L being able to call him had nearly overwhelmed him mere seconds ago.

"Hello, Ryuzaki, if you don't mind me asking, how did you get my number? I don't recall giving it to you," Light questioned.

"National date base, you'd be surprised how easy it is to hack into," L responded, not even thinking twice about how illegal that was.

"Isn't that illegal?" Light sounded a bit panicked this time. L didn't blame him, though, since if L followed Light's logic correctly, Light would be wondering what else "Ryuzaki" was capable of.

"Not if you don't get caught," L cracked one of his rare smiles, amused at all of this, _"Ah, how I missed toying with Light. I dare say it is even fun."_ "Besides," L started off again. "I don't have any malicious intent, and I certainly don't plan to do anything with the phone numbers I just accessed. It was just to call you, since you are very, very interesting."

"That doesn't justify hacking into the national database," L knew Light was face-palming even though he couldn't see him, and L spoke before Light could continue.

"I only wanted to check up on you," L did his best to sound as innocent as possible, but he must've overdone it, because when L heard his own words as they left his mouth, it sounded like he was scheming something, which he _definitely_ wasn't...

L heard Light huff, and after a few moments of silence, L could hear Light grumble lightly, even though Light was straining himself to sound friendly, "So, is there any other reason I should know for you calling me?"

L was about to say no when Watari took up the phone into his own hand, giving L a smile of triumph. L's heart nearly stopped. He knew what Watari was planning, and he had to stop it. "No! Don't ask him to hang out with me!" L feverishly reached for the phone, hands clawing at Watari as his fatherly figure held the phone high in the air, out of his reach.

"Ryuzaki? Are you okay?" L heard Light say after he didn't receive a response.

While L leaped off the couch to claim the phone from Watari, Watari dodged L, and he quickly spoke to Light before L could get the phone, "Ryuzaki was also wondering if you would like to meet up with him on a later date and have coffee, Light. I'll send you the location and time, of course, but we will not be available until... I'd say three days. Is that fine with you?"

"Who is this?" Light asked, probably because some voice other than L's was now talking into the phone. L grunted, and he was now, to the best of his ability, chasing Watari around the hotel room for the phone, crashes and falling objects sounding in the background as they scurried about. Now, him not being the most inclined person in the world to actually work out or do much exercise, L trailed behind Watari with surprising difficulty, and like a cat and mouse, L grabbed at Watari in hopes that he would relinquish the phone to L or at least turn the phone off to end the call with Light.

"Oh, I am Ryuzaki's fatherly figure, and I am asking for him if you want to meet Ryuzaki some time, as Ryuzaki is not very keen when it comes to making friends," Watari explained, him still trying to avoid L until the end of the phone call.

"No! I do not want to go out with you! I don't need friends!" L lunged at Watari, the blush he previously had burning on his face at Watari telling Light that he had no friends and calling himself L's fatherly figure. That description was reserved for L to use, and even though he didn't like to admit it, not even to Watari, Watari really was his fatherly figure, as embarrassing as it was to L.

L had now cornered Watari into the kitchen, but the elderly man slipped back into the main room they were previously in.

L's protests about the meeting at the coffee shop in three days, no matter how loud they were, went unheard because the phone was too far away from him, but what was the most torturous thing about this situation was that he could hear loud and clear Light agreeing to the arrangement, and there was nothing, absolutely nothing he could do about it despite the phone being so close in reach. And from the hesitance in Light's tone, L could tell Light was just going along with it to be polite.

"Great, if I don't text you the address of the coffee shop and time of the meeting within three days, assume that we are too busy, and that we have already rearranged the meeting, okay? Goodbye, I hope to see you soon," Watari snapped the phone shut, leaving L speechless, his jaw, like earlier, hanging open for good measure.

"How could you do that?!" at the moment, it didn't matter if L had a stunned look on his face. It didn't matter that his jaw was hanging wide open. It didn't matter that his hands were pulling at his hair in frustration. It didn't even matter that his voice lost the monotone qualities it normally had. All that mattered was that Watari asked someone, who L barely knew, out for coffee, or in L's case, he would get tea, but that was besides the point.

"How could I not do that? You haven't been interested in someone for years! This could be a good opportunity for you to make an attempt at socializing," Watari smiled, and L didn't feel joy or happiness like he usually did when Watari smiled. He knew that Watari meant well and that having at least a contact could possibly be good for him in the long run, but he didn't want to "socialize", as Watari called it, right now, not when they were on a case as serious as this one.

"But I'll be busy," L weakly murmured his too-little-too-late retort, flopping back onto the couch once more. He assumed his regular crouching position and opened his computer, glancing at the clock as he opened the device. "Well, the break's over now, and I have to get back to work. Who knows how long this case will last? Who knows if I'll have the time to meet Light in that coffee shop you mentioned? Who knows-"

"Who knows what good can come out of making one friend?" Watari raised his eyebrows, knowing that he won. The call was already made, and there was nothing L could do to get himself out of this. "You'll thank me later, you'll see," Watari sat back down and poured L another cup of tea.

L gave out a deep, tired sigh, "Okay, but I can't let this distract me from the case."

"But didn't you say a few days ago that Light worked with the NPA, the organization that is currently investigating the case you're leading?" Watari closed his laptop and put it away, since he no longer had the need to use it.

"Yes," L nodded.

"That means there's a slim chance that you and Light are working on the same investigation, which is good for you. You could use another insight into the case," Watari suggested.

L took six sugar-cubes out of the bowl next to him, and he gingerly dropped them in, stirring the tea with his spoon afterwards.

"I can see that your tea-sugaring habits have returned to normal. See? I told you a break would help," Watari grinned.

L groaned, hating that Watari was right about the break and that he was wrong, "Alright, I'll consider having breaks more often, but any cases I'm working on still take top priority." Watari hummed in approval, and L began typing on his computer again.

"But you are seeing him three days, and I don't care if I have to drag you kicking and screaming into that coffee shop," Watari warned, mischievousness written all over his collected face.

"You're up to something," L glanced at Watari from the corner of his eyes, the sentence he just spoke full of accusations.

"You'll see, L, you'll see," Watari still wore the expression that made him look like he was planning something, and from all the hints he dropped on L, Watari was doing just that. He would have to be careful for the next few days, L concluded, and, pretending as if he didn't just notice Watari's "plans", he began scrolling through data on the case once more.

* * *

"I still can't believe you convinced me to do this," L mumbled. He rubbed one of his tired eyes, as he hadn't slept in three days because of the case. L would normally at least nap, but this investigation was really taking more of a toll on him than he expected when he took it up almost three weeks ago.

"Well, it's more accurate to say that I forced you here, since I already made that deal with Light," Watari petted L's hair, causing for L to retreat backwards.

"Ah! Stop it!" L whispered yet yelled at the same time, him trying to attract as little attention to them as he could. Admittedly, that wasn't exactly possible, since he was standing there hunched over, dressed in the clothes he usually wore, his hair an utter wreck, and next to an elderly man who was patting him on the head, all while the pair were in front of a bustling coffee shop full of people who actually conformed to society.

The people that swept by either ignored him, giggled a bit at his hair, or gave him an uneasy glance as if he was up to no good. Even with winter clothing on, he still stood out from the crowd, and the way his blank, lifeless eyes stared at nothing in particular didn't help much. He shivered slightly in the snow, but as they entered the coffee shop, he was grateful that he was born into an age where climate control existed.

"Remember, call me when you're done, I'm off to run some errands," Watari whirled around, and he walked off, leaving L alone. L scanned the establishment for any signs of the caramel-colored head of hair that he couldn't forget no matter how hard he tried, and he wandered around for a while, wondering if Light had shown up yet. But, from the deductions he had made about Light being groomed for perfection his whole life, L knew that there was a ninety-seven percent chance Light would show up early, and even if something happened, there would still be a high possibility of Light making it on time.

 _"But then again, the chances of something bad enough happening to prevent Light from making it to here on time are only... five, no, under five percent,"_ L quickly convinced himself that Light was going to be fine, that their meeting would be fine, and that he would soon be able to go back to the hotel and stuff his face with the cream puffs Watari had made that morning.

"Ryuzaki!" the familiar voice called, although L could sense the dread it held.

"Oh, Light, there you are," L turned to find Light sitting in a booth. There was already a coffee mug in his hands, and it was steaming profusely. The coffee temperature indicated that it had only recently been brewed, so L was sure that Light hadn't arrived too long ago.

The coffee shop was nice, just like the bakery, and L couldn't lie and say that the interior wasn't pleasant. Despite the building being located on a busy walkway, it was quiet enough, and there was the smell of roasting coffee beans, as expected. There was also the scent of candles, and although L couldn't put his finger on which scent was being used specifically, all the smells melded well with each other. The walls were not of plaster but made of brick, giving the place a distinct, rustic look and feel. There were paintings all along the walls, and there were simple but beautifully designed wooden chairs, round tables, and brown, leather booths off to the side, the latter being where Light was sitting.

Well, at least when Watari dragged L out into public, he did careful research on which locations would be the most compatible with L, a sweet gesture that no one but Watari would do for him. L knew Watari cared. L knew that the only reason Watari forced him out here was because he wanted for L to interact with the world, and even though he was a bit annoyed, he was more touched than anything else.

L sat down in the same booth as Light, settling down across from him, and they both stared at each other for a while.

"Um... do you want to take your order if you haven't yet?" Light nonchalantly but courteously asked. "The counter where you order is on the other side." Light gestured to the ordering station on the other side of the coffee shop or cafe or whatever you called this place, but L didn't respond. He just savored the sweet, sweet silence between them. Internally, he giggled at how Light was squirming, expecting for L to order already.

 _"Aw... he's so cute when he's flustered,"_ L thought before he could stop himself. Then, the realization of his words hit him, and his shoulders, out of confusion over what he just thought, automatically stiffened, _"Hold on... I think he's... cute...? What strange things are you doing to me, Light?"_ His face going red against his will, L's eyes widened in horror because he couldn't do anything to control the biological response known as blushing. He had been blushing a lot this week... that was odd... looks like the strange things hadn't ceased when Watari came back...

"Ryuzaki, are you okay?" Light must've noticed L's stiff arms and tinged with red face, and he lifted his eyebrows in concern.

"N-nothing, I'll just get some tea," L jumped out of the booth, trying to get out of this awkward situation. _"So this is how Light feels when I mentally back him into a corner..."_ L reasoned as he walked over to get some tea. _"Now I can see why he really doesn't want to be around me."_ At the thought of that, his heart slumped in disappointment, although he wouldn't know why until much later.

And that, unbeknownst to him, was the beginning of a long, awkward, yet somehow nice stay at the coffee shop with Light, and not only that, it was the beginning of something so beautiful but so terrifying at the same time... so filled with joy and tears and general emotion... it would be beautiful... so, so beautiful that L wouldn't be able to put it to words.

* * *

 **See? I told you Light would be in this chapter! I know, I know, his appearance was brief, but there will be more LXLight moments next chapter. Well, that's all for now, so please review, favorite, follow, etc. if you'd like to, and I hope you enjoyed this chapter.**


	6. Conversations, Opinions, Confusion

**Chapter 6: Conversations, Opinions, Confusion**

* * *

Ryuzaki had gotten his tea, and he and Light were sitting back at the booth Light had found. Light was nervously running his pointer-finger around the rim of his coffee mug, and he used the other hand to play around with the buttons on his jacket. He hadn't expected for Ryuzaki to call him three days ago, nor did he expect for Ryuzaki's supposed fatherly figure to invite him out for coffee. Don't get him wrong, the coffee shop was wonderful. It was bustling yet so calm at the same time, and the coffee there was actually pretty good, not to mention that the coffee shop was warm and comforting from the cold outside. He just didn't expect for all of this to happen, and that was all.

The two of them sat in silence for a time, Light reflecting on their last interaction. He should've been more careful while playing that little "game" with Ryuzaki at the bakery because Ryuzaki pretty much mopped the floor with him. He hadn't intended for Ryuzaki to even catch onto the fact that he was being challenged, much less beat him so badly! To the average person, that talk he had with Ryuzaki at the bakery about two weeks ago was a friendly yet nervous exchange. To them, however, it was anything but. It was a sparring match, a competition to see who could outwit who, and most of all, a competition that Light lost.

The feeling of losing was odd, yet... it was somehow... what was the word? Endearing? Yes, that was what Light thought of their chat back at the bakery, and not only that, he was quite impressed. He had challenged people whom he thought were rather intelligent in the past, the invitation to the challenge delivered in a passive-aggressive manner of course, but none of them actually realized that Light was analyzing every detail of them rather than trying to be friendly.

Ryuzaki, though, was the exception. He was on a level of genius that allowed him to not only pick up the fact that Light was playing him, but in the end, Ryuzaki's genius made him the one pulling the strings on Light and not the other way around. It was so refreshing to finally come across a challenge, and he had the feeling that Ryuzaki felt the same. It was hard to notice it based on his expression, but Light could see a hint of excitement in Ryuzaki's large, piercing eyes.

That was another trait of Ryuzaki's that Light found endearing. His eyes... most people would never be able to tell what went on behind those eyes, but if you were sufficient in reading people, it was obvious that many, many thoughts and emotions whirled around behind that blank face. Light knew that Ryuzaki's blank, slightly creepy stare would scare most people away, but he was intrigued and not even terrified in the slightest. Ryuzaki expressionless, emotionless face was even cute...

 _"Wait, wait, wait, cute...?"_ Light asked himself, the young adult bewildered by the thought that just crossed his mind. _"What do you mean that you think he's cute, Light?! What's going on?! Get it together, Light, you can do this. You can make this a successful interaction."_ He looked back up at Ryuzaki, and sure enough, he still had that ever-present, impassive look glued onto his features. Light tried not to look uncomfortable. He tried to look like everything was fine. He tried to smile and keep his face relaxed. All his efforts were futile, though, for he knew that Ryuzaki was looking beyond his mask like how an x-ray could so easily look beyond your skin and into your bones. Hiding anything from the man sitting across from Light would be useless, as Ryuzaki would, sooner or later, find out what you were hiding, and somehow, Light liked that.

Light was so tired of hiding, so tired of trying to be a perfect son, perfect co-worker, perfect everything, really, but with Ryuzaki in the picture, he didn't have to hide anymore. He could actually show to Ryuzaki that he was uncomfortable, and Ryuzaki wouldn't judge. He could actually let down his guard for once because putting up any walls around himself would be wasting energy around Ryuzaki. From the glitter in Ryuzaki's eyes and the mischievous glances Ryuzaki gave him, Light knew that without a doubt, both of them could read each other like magazines, but that didn't mean Light could let himself go entirely.

Even if Ryuzaki could read him no problem, he still had an outward appearance to maintain out of sheer force of habit. If Light was thinking about developing some sort of bond with Ryuzaki, though, he would probably have to eventually learn how to let go of his mask, which was something he would do later on, since it was too early to show Ryuzaki completely who he really was. There was no way Light intended to make Ryuzaki's attempts to read him easy, that was for sure, but knowing that he could potentially let his defenses down some time in the near future comforted him ever so slightly.

On the outside, they were so different, complete opposites, even, but once you stripped everything away, all the quirks and ticks they had and external appearances, they were one of the same. They were two sides of the same coin. They were so different yet also identical at the core, and with these similarities, they could understand each other in a way no one else could, even if this was only the second time they met each other.

It was exhilarating. The air around Ryuzaki was excitingly intoxicating. The way Ryuzaki carried himself, the way he didn't care that everyone was staring at him, the way Ryuzaki could actually _challenge_ Light, it was all so refreshing. Ryuzaki was radically different from everybody else, and Light loved it. Though, he didn't let it show. Light wanted to see if he could toy around with Ryuzaki at all, and he could tell that Ryuzaki was in the mood for another mind game. Both of them were, and both of them would get one.

"Light, I do hope that everything has been fine since I last saw you," Ryuzaki finally spoke. Light stared Ryuzaki in the eyes, but it felt more like he was staring into an infinite, endless abyss. It was as if the entire universe was contained in that pair of interesting, beautiful eyes. It was almost too much to bear. More and more excitement began to build up in Light, and it was getting harder and harder to hide the twitching of his foot. Light felt the thrill of Ryuzaki's words rush though him, but he had next to no idea why Ryuzaki made him feel this way.

Today was a day off from work for Light, and he was supposed to spend time with his family. They were planning to go out to lunch, but upon hearing that Ryuzaki, or rather, Ryuzaki's caretaker, wanted to invite Light over somewhere for coffee, Light cancelled all his plans and promised to make up for the missed lunch next week, saying that a friend he hadn't seen in a long time asked him out.

What his family didn't know was that Light and his "friend" were barely acquaintances, but to Light, it didn't matter. Ryuzaki was just so interesting that he couldn't pass up an opportunity to meet him again, and here they were, having coffee and awkwardly gazing at each other.

"Oh, things have been going pretty well," Light nodded. He took deep breaths and reminded himself that since Ryuzaki saw through any mask he put on, he could relinquish just a little control. He told himself that his reservations about their small-talk weren't necessary, as they would be getting to the part of the conversation that really mattered rather soon. "And you, Ryuzaki?"

Ryuzaki took a few minutes to answer, and with time on his hands, Light began to think, _"Ryuzaki... something just seems... off. The way your name rolls off my tongue... it just doesn't feel right. It's as if the mask you have on yourself is not even allowing for you to reveal your own name. Interesting, very, very interesting."_ Light gradually slipped deeper and deeper into thought, although he tried to remain attentive to the outside world for the event where Ryuzaki would at last decide to speak.

 _"It's just a hunch, but from the fact that Ryuzaki is more than capable of lying, enjoys mind games, and had no reservations about hacking into the national database... there's just something that doesn't add up about him... He's probably manipulating me right now, too. He knows more than I think he knows, doesn't he? Because of the pause in the conversation, he's most likely beginning to determine that I'm suspecting him of withholding information and is thinking of a rebuttal to anything I ask,"_ Light paused his thought train for a moment to scratch his chin, a motion that would probably haunt him later into this conversation. His chin scratching showed that there were cracks in his resistance against Ryuzaki, but rubbing his chin and ruffling his hair did surprising wonders in helping him think.

Continuing his thinking, Light took another sip of coffee, and this time, he made sure that the cup still had coffee in it. Luckily, it was still filled pretty high with the dark brown and soothing liquid, and the small gulp of coffee he poured into his mouth calmed down any nerves and sharpened his brain, _"He's taking so long to reply... that can only mean one thing for someone as intelligent as him; he is most likely thinking of any responses I may have to whatever he has to say, and he is thinking of some way to subtly counteract them. If I act shocked at his words, I'll just give him an opening to attack. If I am stoic and calm, he will press on harder until I can't handle the pressure. If I appear interested, again, he'll press on until I crack. What should I do?"_

"I'm doing okay, but I've been better," Ryuzaki admitted.

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that," Light answered quickly to not look suspicious, but a moment later, he mentally slapped himself. How could he have been so foolish?! Ryuzaki knew that he had Light hooked, and Light knew there was no going back. He needed to find a way around this.

"Don't be sorry," Ryuzaki grabbed a handful of the free sugar packets that were laying on the table. He counted ten packets of sugar, and, one at a time, he tore them open with his teeth and dumped the sugar in. He used the spoon next to his teacup to stir, and he brought the cup to his lips. Light couldn't help but grimace, thinking that many others would do the same.

 _"Who puts that much sugar in their tea?!"_ Light bit his tongue to prevent him from sticking it out in disgust. _"Well, then again, that last time I saw him, he ate an entire cheesecake..."_

Light concluded that the amount of sugar Ryuzaki consumed at the bakery two weeks ago wasn't just a one-off, and as Light's head still churned in the search for answers to how one could possibly eat that much sugar, Ryuzaki suddenly added on some words to his previous statement.

"You have no control over whether I have a bad day or not, so there is no need to apologize," Ryuzaki set his teacup back down on the table, and upon inspection, Light realized that Ryuzaki had already finished half of his drink through that one gulp. Ryuzaki audibly swallowed, and Light saw the raven-haired man's eyes glimmer for a split second from the caffeine.

"Okay," was all Light could say. Clearly, Ryuzaki didn't have too much of a concept of being polite, but, like other traits about him, Light found it...

 _"He's so cute... Ah! Why do I keep thinking that he's cute?! He's another guy!"_ Light groaned inwardly. _"Why am I thinking this way? I mean, yeah, he's interesting, and we might even become friends, but why can't I think of some word other than cute to describe him?!"_

Light started to stare at Ryuzaki again, but this time, instead of looking into his eyes, Light had let his eyes wander towards Ryuzaki's thin, pale lips. It wasn't that he wanted to kiss Ryuzaki or anything **(A/N: Well, he doesn't want to kiss L _yet_. The kissing is for later! :D)** , he simply saw the layer of tea that had settled around Ryuzaki's mouth. Almost immediately after Light noticed the thin film of tea on Ryuzaki's lips was when said person licked the edges of his mouth to clean it.

"Light, this may sound a bit random, but do you play chess?" Ryuzaki suddenly inquired.

"What?" it took a few moments for Ryuzaki's question to sink in. After all, Light had just been distracted by Ryuzaki cleaning tea off his lips by licking them. In the end, Light still managed to get out the words, so at least he didn't look like a bumbling fool in front of this potential friend, "Oh, yeah, I play chess. My father taught me when I was six."

"Good, would you be so kind as to join me in the park to play? I've been craving a game, but it's hard to find a good challenge these days," Ryuzaki finished off his tea only to get up out of his seat. "If you'd like, we could go a little later, but first, I have to get some more tea."

"Yeah, that'd be great," Light did his best to grin despite his mixed emotions. On one hand, he was delighted that Ryuzaki had opted to spend more time with him. On the other side of things, though, he couldn't help but ponder over the question, _"What are you up to, Ryuzaki?"_

* * *

Soon, L had returned with his tea. He sat back down at the booth and across from Light. What was he doing?! He had just invited Light out to a game of chess when he had so much work to do! He still had to solve this case that had stumped him for three weeks and counting, and yet he was sitting here, conversing with someone who was pretty much a stranger and asking him to play chess in the park. Although, he was not stumped for the reason you'd expect. He had the evidence and conclusions and everything, it was just that the NPA would find his thoughts on who the killer was wildly unlikely. Honestly, by now, Light was probably suspecting that he was up to something, so why even bother trying to connect with a person who's both suspicious of you and thinks you're a creep?

"Hold on, I have to tell the person who will be picking me up that we'll be heading to the park later so that he doesn't get confused when he finds that we're not here," L pulled out his phone and swiftly texted Watari. The text message read: _"Watari, in the event that you do pick us up, head to the park. We are not there now, but we will be later."_

Seconds later, L's phone beeped, and he saw that Watari had texted him back: _"Okay, are you enjoying your time with Light?"_ L could practically see the smile tugging the corners of Watari's lips, and on the inside, he rolled his eyes.

He typed on his phone: _"Yes, we are having a good time. It is awkward, but it is nice... surprisingly..."_

His phone beeped once more, and L read Watari's reply: _"See? I told you that socializing would be good for you! I'm so proud that you're trying to reach out to others!"_ L snapped his phone shut and shoved it in his pocket. This time, he didn't even try to suppress his eyes rolling.

"You okay?" Light questioned.

L turned his attention back to Light, and he nodded, although he was a bit distracted now. Thoughts about the murder case he was working on began to cloud his mind, and even though Watari consistently told L to separate his work and personal life because mixing the two together was bad for his health, he couldn't help but have his mind drift back to the case. It wasn't like he could resist thinking about the investigation; he lived and breathed to bring criminals to justice. It was pretty much his entire purpose, his entire existence, really, and nothing could steer him off the path of justice, not even a strange, interesting, and very, very handsome man who was similar in age to him.

Then, without thinking, L brought up the subject of the murders he was investigating, "Light, you work for the NPA, correct?" Yes! He could socialize as Watari wanted while still keeping his focus on his work! It was a win-win situation, and not only that, L could actually use this conversation to further the case even though he hadn't planned to do so. Now if only he could get Light's thoughts on the case... Internally taking a deep breath, L knew what he would do.

First, he would lead in with the impression that he was just talking about the news, like regular adults did, not that he was a regular adult. He was just emulating what he thought regular, normal people with normal desk-jobs that had nine to five working hours would do. Then, he would ease Light into letting his opinions over the case spill, and with that, he might even be able to use Light's logic to add to the case. There was also the possibility to add some talk about L himself into the mix, to spice things up a notch and to make L's inquiries more natural. Everyone knew L was working on the case, and it would only ring alarm bells if L danced around the subject of L. Avoiding the subject might've worked for other people, but Light wasn't other people. He was Light. Light was a genius as far as he could tell.

"Yeah," Light nodded. "What about that?"

"I heard that the NPA is investigating a string of worldwide murders," L dumped the sugar from eight sugar packets into his tea as he spoke. While he preferred sugar-cubes, the sugar packets weren't all that bad.

"Yeah, everyone's freaking out about it because people are dying all over the world. Everyone wants this murderer to be brought to justice. Why did you bring that up?" Light tilted his head, his posture conveying that he was curious for an answer.

"Oh, I just heard that L is working with the NPA to find out the culprit, and since the NPA is directing most of their resources towards capturing the killer, I'd assume that you're working with L in some way or another," L half-lied. Yes, it was true that L was working with the NPA, and he knew that Light was working with L due to publicly shared files, but, for more than obvious reasons, he didn't specify that he, indeed, was L himself. "Tell me, what is it like working with him?"

"You're right about me working with L, but are you sure L won't mind me telling you this, Ryuzaki? I mean, I don't want to leak out classified information," Light shrugged, but L picked up a lingering presence of discomfort. Still, L could hardly blame Light for feeling this way. L's methods in solving cases were questionable, but L couldn't help but smile internally. It was somewhat hilarious that Light was talking about L with him while having no idea that he was talking to L himself. He was rather interested about what the people working on the case with him thought about him, and despite the fact that L didn't expect for very pleasant things to escape Light's lips, as many found working with L extremely irritating, he didn't mind so.

"I'm sure L wouldn't mind too much if we discussed him," L remarked, clenching his fists to keep himself from giggling. "It's not like some has bugged this room and is listening in on our conversation."

Giving out a sigh of defeat, Light started to voice his opinions, "Well, L is definitely brilliant, that's for sure, but..."

"But what?" L chimed in after getting impatient for an answer.

"He's... he's just hard to work with, that's all," Light took another sip out of his coffee. "No offense to him, and I know that he needs to keep his face hidden to protect himself, but working with a computer screen is just plain difficult."

"I completely understand," L agreed.

"He's a huge help on the case, though," Light admitted. "I'm pretty sure he achieved in three weeks what the NPA would've accomplished in the span of three months."

"Oh, is that so?" L tilted his head. Even for him, it was hard to believe that he was actually hearing what someone honestly thought about him, and to his surprise and slight shock, Light didn't have just mean things to say about L. It was nice, really, to talk about L from another person's point of view, and L found it kind of funny that Light was unknowingly telling L himself what he really thought about him. It was Light's honest, untainted opinion. The words coming out of Light's mouth weren't morphed and twisted by the media, nor were they taken out of context. It was just Light, L, and the conversation they held, and it was so refreshing to hear words of truth. L really was curious about what others thought about him, and the news articles talking all about the cases he solved and the talk shows berating L for being so secretive were doing nothing to appease this curiosity.

"Light, I have another question," L, even though he knew it was risky, thought that it would help to talk about the case he was investigating and see Light's opinion on it. The opinion L would hear in a few seconds was an opinion outside of work, an opinion fearless to any criticism it could potentially receive, and an opinion unrestrained by a professional environment. "What are your personal opinions on the case? Any idea who the murderer could be?"

"Well," Light explained, unwittingly spilling the beans about what he thought of the case. "I agree with L about the suspect list. They all come from this very neighborhood in Japan, which makes sense because the killings started around here. I also agree with the suspect list because due to the worldwide reach of the killer and the fact that these suspects have recently traveled to a country where and around the times the murders took place."

Light paused for a moment to think, and L interjected, "Who do _you_ think is the person that is guilty?"

"Oh, who I think is guilty?" Light rubbed the back of his head. L knew a genius like Light would probably have figured it out by now, so the hesitation was simply a sign of nervousness about what L would think of his deductions.

"If I'm to be honest," Light began. "I think all of them are guilty..."

"Why's that?" L quirked up the eyebrow he didn't have. He took another gulp of his tea, and he curled his knees closer to his chest, all in preparation to get nice and comfortable for hearing Light's deductions.

"I know my accusation sounds kind of ridiculous, but think about it. There are five suspects, and all of them, based on their records, are at the very least acquainted with each other. They went to the same school, same college, and all have similar jobs. Also, as mentioned earlier, if you look at their travelling files, all of them have traveled to at least one country where there was a recent murder around the same time of the event of the killing. They all traveled to separate countries, but that's likely to not only decrease suspicions based on their travel plans. Traveling that much can be expensive, so it'd make sense to split the cost among friends. All the victims were also affiliated with the suspects somehow, much of them passing by the neighborhood the suspects live in either due to a business trip to Japan or simply because they were tourists," Light explained. Yes, the explanation was lengthy, and L was sure that there was more to come, but this insight was valuable enough for it to be worth L sitting around, talking to a man he barely knew.

As predicted, Light continued when L didn't have anything to say to him, as he was too intent on listening to Light's opinion, "And if you look closely at photo evidence of the crime scenes, each of the corpses have thirteen gashes on their stomachs, but..." Light paused yet again, probably for both dramatic effect and to get his thoughts together. "Different corpses have gashes made at different angles with different stroke styles. The technique used to murder all these people directly correlates with which suspect has traveled to which country. Again, sorry if this sounds silly, but it's what I really think."

"Very interesting," L's eyes widened. This was exactly what he needed! He had a theory that all the suspects were actually the killers, and his logic worked in a similar way to Light's. Despite the fact that the NPA tried to keep some aspects of the investigation private, the only information you really needed in order to deduce properly was the information publicly released. What a shame, because NPA staff were pretty much running in circles, the private details about the case irrelevant when it came to finding the murderer, or in this case, murderers.

He thought it was very cleaver for Light to only use public information surrounding the case. It was even listed online what agents of the NPA were working with L to catch the criminal, so Light was putting no information in jeopardy. Not only was Light good at picking out which evidence was actually needed, but by chatting about information that was available to the general populous, Light could prevent himself from getting into trouble by revealing classified information only he and the other NPA detectives were supposed to know. After all, Light didn't know that he was talking to L, so L found Light's caution as a smart move. It would also make their conversation seem less suspicious if someone were to eavesdrop, and L wouldn't have to explain himself on why he knew private evidence surrounding the case.

But, back to why L was so pleased with Light's revelation. You see, even though L had pretty much the same idea of who had done the killings as Light, he knew the other NPA detectives wouldn't believe him. Even though he was L, the people working with him were still weary of his accusations. He needed a second opinion to back up his claims, and Light's thoughts about the case were exactly what he needed.

If he could convince Light to share his findings with his colleagues, L actually had a chance in the NPA believing him! From the way Light presented himself, L could tell right away that many perceived for Light to be a trustworthy, honest member of society. It was a fitting part to the elaborate mask he had on, as the quality of being reputable only served to benefit that mask of perfection.

Light was confident and sure of himself, but the way he carried his confidence was subtle. It was there for people to notice, to make them realize that Light knew what he was talking about, but it wasn't to the extent that it made him look cocky. It was just the right balance between trusting yourself and humbleness, and L could greatly use that to his advantage.

 _"And that adds another reason to why I'm interested in Light... great... I should really make a list as to why I'm so into him,"_ L sarcastically remarked in his thoughts. "I don't think what you said was silly, quite the contrary, actually, because it aligns perfectly with my thoughts," L gave Light a rare smile, the detective pleased that their two minds were so alike. He drank more of his tea, and he came to the conclusion that since Light took so long to respond to him, Light was slightly thrown off by L's response. "I myself, when hearing about the case, thought that all the murders were committed by the same person, but when I looked further into it, there were patterns you just couldn't deny, and not everything adds up if you assume that one person had killed all these people. It makes perfect sense."

"Um... thanks...?" Light gave a jittery, anxious chuckle, his face obviously trying its best to keep from scrunching up because he was uncomfortable. L found it kind of cute, really, how Light was always trying to act so polite and to smile all the time.

* * *

Even though he tried to hide it, Light was pretty delighted that Ryuzaki thought his theory was plausible. He was kind of afraid that the rest of the NPA would laugh or something like that if he told them he thought all the suspects were the murderers. They would probably brush him off as being overly paranoid and say that the evidence just didn't stack up enough to point to all the suspects being the killers, even if people usually believed Light. They did believe the facade he had on, but for serious matters like this, many were cautious of external opinions and insights.

That was why his ears perked up when Ryuzaki told him that he thought the same way Light did, or at least in a way that was similar.

"But, enough of the serious talk, after all, we're here simply to hang out, not investigate a murder case. A person close to me even said one time that mixing your work and your life outside of work is a bad idea, or something along the lines of that," Ryuzaki now diverted away from the topic, which was a good thing, because even though Light was passionate about solving the case and his line of work, all this stuff involving the recent murders weren't only making his head hurt but his stomach churn.

He couldn't believe someone, or, in this case, some people, had the hearts to kill the innocent. Every time Light thought about the case he was working on at work, the case he was working on with L, it made his blood boil. He hated that these people who had lost their lives weren't getting the justice they deserved.

So naturally, it came as a relief to him that Ryuzaki decided to change the subject. Unlike earlier, Light was slightly more comfortable with the situation. All throughout their conversation, the little things Ryuzaki did and the little quirks he had fascinated Light. No, more than that, he thought they were... cute.

Yes, cute, and despite the denial he previously had, as their stay at the coffee shop progressed, Light gradually came to terms with thinking of Ryuzaki as cute. He had convinced himself that it wasn't anything much. Who could call him at fault for thinking that Ryuzaki was cute? Sure, males didn't typically call each other cute, but if one ever came across a panda-like, owl-eyed person with perfectly messy hair that gave them an aura of child-like innocence no matter how creepy they seemed, of course they wouldn't be able to resist calling the person in question cute.

Not realizing that he was nodding to himself to solidify his conclusions, Light answered, as keeping his conversation partner waiting for a reply was, in his eyes, quite rude. Although, somehow, Ryuzaki's slow response times just added to how endearing and innocent he seemed, not to mention that it really did wonders to his cuteness factor.

"Yeah, to tell you the truth, I'm getting kind of tired of the case I'm working on, not because I'm bored of it, but because I'm sick of seeing people die left, right, and center. The world is just rotten sometimes, you know?" Light shrugged, his words coming out as a huff.

"Yes, but it is impossible to bring justice to everyone. It is impossible to cleanse the world entirely. It's kind of like light and darkness; they are so different, yet, in a strange, deranged way, they sort of... depend on each other. One cannot exist without the other. For example, as a detective, you are trying to rid the world of crime, but without crime, where would you go to for a job?" Ryuzaki did make a good point. Light would have to think about what Ryuzaki said later, maybe even sleep on it.

"That's a very thought-provoking way of looking at things," Light nodded, folding his arms on top of each other on the table they sat at. "And although it would be great to be able to end all crime, end all human suffering, you're right, in a twisted way. Even though my job as a detective is against it, crime is something my job lives off of, and crime, for it to be even considered as a crime, needs at least some law enforcement, because if the world were to become too chaotic, a crime might not even be considered a crime anymore. It's kind of like that thing where while laws and rules keep order, but there wouldn't be any order that needed to be enforced if chaos wasn't also there."

"Yes," Ryuzaki nodded, his expression yet to waver even slightly, but from the tiny, tiny jump of tone and pitch of his voice, Light could tell that Ryuzaki was deeply entrenched into what they were talking about. "Now, though, onto lighter matters. I like going into a deep conversation like the one we just had, but, occasionally, it because... a bit too much. It's not that I can't keep up intellectually, it's just that the problems of this world... tend to take a toll on me, and they have a deep, personal impact that I'd rather not get into."

"Oh, okay, if I'm prying too much, just tell me, and I'll stop," Light promised.

The little game they had been playing was left in the dust and out of their memories, and Light knew that much because both were just letting the words flow naturally. No one was calculating, no one was anticipating how to retaliate the other, and both were talking like friends. Oh how Light wished he had friends.

Sure, he was popular. People flocked to him, admired him, and there was the odd person or two that stalked him... at least having a father who was a police chief made getting a restraining order slightly easier, not that he wanted to revisit the ordeal that happened to him a few years back. He never had a true friend, though. As far as he was concerned, everyone he knew, except for his immediate family, was merely just that, someone he knew.

He didn't have a friend he could rely on, a person who always had his back. He never had a person who wanted to see who he really was, so he never really bothered to show his true self. Yet, as he was sitting here, chatting up a storm with Ryuzaki, he felt the mask he always wore slip. Ryuzaki, even though they had only known each other for a short period of time and had only two meetings, including this one, had an effect on him that he couldn't really put his finger on.

He would figure out this effect sooner or later, he was sure of that, but he wasn't so sure if Ryuzaki really wanted to see what was behind his mask. What was underneath the mask, the facade, wasn't anything so atrocious or horrendous that it had to be kept hidden away forever. It was just that, even in Ryuzaki's calming presence, Light felt hesitant about letting his mask slide off entirely, no matter how useless his efforts of hiding who he really was were.

The whole event unraveling before his eyes was so nerve-wracking, yet it was so soothing to him as well. It was weird... unusual... and Light loved every minute, every second, and every moment of it.

 _"Ugh, why are my thoughts betraying me today?"_ Light questioned to himself. _"Even though I've come to terms with thinking that Ryuzaki is cute, because seriously, who wouldn't think someone with a striking resemblance to a panda is cute, but why do I feel so weird around him? I mean, he's someone that crashed into my life, literally if you include that incident with us knocking into each other and dropping Ryuzaki's cheesecake! And when we were at the bakery, I didn't know what came over me when I ran out without even saying goodbye! Ryuzaki, you're honestly confusing me, I'm honestly confusing myself because I'm probably over-thinking this, and you're infuriatingly cute!"_

Well, thinking about his emotions certainly didn't help, which was why Light caught himself sighing.

"Is anything wrong?" Ryuzaki leaned in a little closer. It was close enough to express his concern, but there wasn't so little distance between them that Light had started to feel uncomfortable.

"Oh, no, everything's okay. Sorry if I worried you," Light tried to snap himself out of his daze, out of his thoughts that were spiraling out of control as the two spoke.

"That's good to hear," Ryuzaki was now holding an empty teacup in that peculiar grip of his, between his forefinger and thumb. Light wondered if Ryuzaki used this method of holding things on everything, even heavier objects, and the thought of Ryuzaki trying to pick up and write with a pen using only this thumb and pointer-finger did not fail to amuse Light. Allowing his psyche to entertain with that thought and further build up an argument as to why Ryuzaki was so adorable, Light racked his brain for what to say next.

Then, Ryuzaki suddenly blurted out, "Oh, I think it's about time we get to the park to play that game of chess, if you want to, of course."

"Oh, yeah, that," Light realized. "Yeah, I look forward to playing with you."

"As do I," Ryuzaki pushed his pretty much forgotten teacup aside. "Well, shall we go then?" He re-buttoned the coat he undid when he entered, and so did Light. They already paid for their drinks at the counter, so there was no need to stick around any longer. They got up, the both of them standing side by side, and they strutted out.

To Light's surprise, Ryuzaki held the door open for Light, a gesture that he would eventually come to cherish.

"After you," Ryuzaki smirked. It hinted playfulness, and Light was more than happy to go along.

"Thank-you," Light chuckled. Ryuzaki followed him out, and they walked to the park, not realizing how close they actually were to each other.

* * *

 **Well, that was another painfully long chapter! I couldn't help myself, writing chapters that are on the longer end is so much fun! And yeah, the pacing's kind of slow. If you're up for it, tell me if you mind the slow pacing or not, since I'm at this point over 30K words in and have barely scratched the surface of the plot. XP Also, I apologize if L and Light's talk about the case is cringe-worthy. As I said in chapter two, I'm just plain bad at writing mysteries, which is why the investigation going on in this story takes a backseat plot-wise, especially when compared to the cannon plot.**

 **Don't worry, I'll get to the plot... eventually...**

 **Light: You always say things like "eventually" or "later". And you majorly overuse the word "maybe", especially in real life! I should know, because this author's note gives me access to your inner thoughts!  
**

 **Me: Yeah, maybe... *gives him an innocent look***

 **Light: *face-palms***

 **Me: Anyway, as usual, if you'd like to, please favorite, review, follow, etc. if you're into this story. It really, really does mean a lot to me, since reviews tell me that I'm not just writing to a bunch of ghosts, but while things like reviews and favorites motivate me, they are definitely NOT the sole reason for me to write, as I have a burning passion for fanfiction. They just inspire me to update more and faster. Eh, that's all I have to say for now, so bye, and see you next chapter!**


	7. My First Friend

**Okay, so before we get started, I must inform you that I will be starting school again very, very soon after a very, very enjoyable summer vacation, and when I say I'm going back to school soon, I mean that I'm editing this chapter the night before I have to return to school. I'm not exactly looking forward to going back to school, as that means I will not have the time or energy to update as often as I did during the summer, so if I go a few months without updating, don't worry, I'm not dead and am just a bit busy.**

 **Anyhoo, enough of my ramblings, onto the chapter! Also, I thought that since you probably don't want for me to describe an entire game of chess (and also because I don't want to write out the entire game), I decided to skip to when the game(s) of chess ended.  
**

 **Chapter 7: My First Friend**

* * *

"Checkmate," Light swerved his knight piece to topple over Ryuzaki's king, and with that, a click could be heard as L's chess piece fell over. A victorious, pleased-with-himself smirk graced Light's lips. Ryuzaki widened his eyes, let out a low-level yet still noticeable groan, and gritting his teeth, he took the long twig that he had been holding throughout the series of chess games they played and made a mark on the ground. So far, they'd played four games, each of them lasting at least one hour. _At least._ And due to the fact that it was easier to keep track of the score if you made a chart or something like that, Ryuzaki had used a stick to draw into the dirt a t-chart divided into two sections labelled "Ryuzaki" and "Light". There were tallies on both sides of the chart, both of them having two points each.

They were tied in score, and Light knew Ryuzaki didn't like it. Ryuzaki, very much like himself, wanted not only a challenge, but to win. Now, as exciting as defeat was, winning was always preferable, so approximately five, possibly six hours ago, when they played their first game and Ryuzaki had beaten Light, Light immediately jumped out of the stone bench he had been sitting in and demanded a rematch.

Light had known that for the sake of his pride, Ryuzaki wouldn't be able to refuse, thus multiple long, tedious games ensued. They kept uttering revenge for their defeats on each other, so it appeared that their ongoing game would never stop unless someone interrupted.

Light sighed. This was going to go on forever, and it would get dark soon. Even though he had missed the lunch he promised his family, he had to make it home on time for dinner. It wasn't often that he got to eat dinner with his family anymore, as he had recently moved out and got a job and everything, so he had to make it tonight. Light glanced at his wristwatch, _"Six-seventeen P.M. I'll have to leave in about ten minutes if I want to make it home in time for dinner."_

If he were to leave right now, though, it would undoubtedly make him look like he was chickening-out, something he most certainly didn't want to do, not even when encountered with someone as genius as Ryuzaki. Light was fully aware that he and Ryuzaki shared this mentality, which was how they found themselves stuck at the park in the freezing air, sitting on two stone benches with a table made of the same material in between, playing chess on one of the many chessboards the caretakers of the park had set up so that visitors could entertain themselves, and sticking around for who knows how long.

Seriously, Light knew the general amount of time he and Ryuzaki were here, but he couldn't pinpoint exactly _how_ long they sat here among the cold and snow. Even through their shivering, the competition against the other was burning as bright as ever. Although, too bad the fire of competition did nothing to keep the two of them warm. It had gotten so cold that there was snow that was borderline ice, icicles were lining the benches they sat on, and the chess pieces were pretty much frozen solid. Still, they glowered at each other, their gazes heated, and the expressions they aimed at each other said in silent speech, _"I am so going to defeat you."_

Glares fixed and incentives as strong as ever, Ryuzaki requested, "May I have another game?"

Under other circumstances, Light would say yes. Each game with Ryuzaki was so unpredictable. Light had to account for every single move. He couldn't make a mistake or else Ryuzaki would find some sort of crazy, out-of-the box, yet brilliant way to exploit even the tiniest, most trivial wrong move, and Light's brain craved this aspect of Ryuzaki's personality. He craved to play with Ryuzaki, and after meeting him, Light didn't know how he had gone on for so long without someone as equally matched to him as Ryuzaki. But that was under normal circumstances. This circumstance, however, was not normal. The two of them had burned through four games in the span of five to six hours, it was at the point in time where most sane people would've long left the park, and Light really needed to get home before his family started getting worried.

Light looked up at the sky. It was a stunning display, the orange and fiery-red emitted from the gorgeous setting sun fading into the endless stretch of violets and indigo above and there being barely any light blue left, but the amazing sight, no matter how beautiful it was, pretty much screamed at him to hightail it out of there already and make his way to his mother and father's house.

"I'm sorry, but I'm afraid I'll have to leave soon. I don't want to be late for dinner. My family invited me over, and I don't want them to start worrying," Light gave into his desire to be punctual. The manners his family had instilled in him since he was a child weren't going anywhere anytime soon, and besides, Light was mentally exhausted from all those games of chess, as fun as they were.

"Oh, I understand, I should probably be leaving too," Ryuzaki nodded. All the while, he bit into the cookie he had purchased on the way to the park, at some random corner store. In fact, he bought an entire box of cookies, and he was polishing off the remnants of the box's contents just now. Light still cringed at how much sugar Ryuzaki was chomping down on, especially after all that sugary tea, but he said nothing about it. His facial expression gave it all away, though. Even if he tried his best to hide it, he was more than sure that Ryuzaki had picked up the slight shifts in the features on his face.

"I'm kind of hungry anyway," Ryuzaki added as he tilted the cookie box towards his mouth and dumped the remaining crumbs in. There was a twinge of disappoint in Ryuzaki's eyes, though, and the same could be said for Light. He wanted to stay longer, but the desire to be on time dominated everything else. The habit of always being on time was so ingrained into Light that he couldn't stand it when people were even a few minutes late, so naturally, it would be hypocritical for Light to be tardy himself.

 _"Ryuzaki's still hungry after all those cookies,"_ Light chuckled internally, and Ryuzaki's behavior regarding the box of cookies only added to why Light thought Ryuzaki was infuriatingly adorable. Every single one of Ryuzaki's attributes screamed cute, not that Light would admit it this early into his character development, but nonetheless, it was pointless denying how downright charming and endearing Ryuzaki was.

"Oh, I don't have your number yet, and I should probably give you my number if you haven't recorded it down already; I don't want you to hack into the national database again," Light commented as he and Ryuzaki stood up from the benches they'd been sitting on.

"Oh, yes," Ryuzaki agreed. His voice was monotone, even dull, but Ryuzaki pulled out his phone just a little too quickly for it to be considered the normal speed people pulled out their phones at, indicating that he was more excited than he was letting on.

Light pulled his phone out of his pocket as well, and they switched phones to type in their numbers. Light figured that it was easier, not to mention more efficient, than both of them awkwardly trying to tell their number to the person in front of them through word of mouth, so it worked out nicely.

* * *

Uh, L had pretty much wasted the day away, but for some strange, unknown reason that not even he could comprehend, he liked it. He actually liked it! He couldn't believe himself right now, and he even got excited when Light suggested that they exchange phone numbers! Just what in the world was going on with him lately? He didn't like that his excitement showed through the swift pace he pulled out his phone, either.

Strange, that was the only word L could think about right now. _"Strange, strange, strange, so, so strange. And I thought the strange things would stop happening once Watari got back from his trip, but noooo, it's been... how long? It's been over a week since Watari got back, and the strange, weird occurrences have still not stopped! Light, just what are you doing to me?!"_ L thought, his mind frustrated with itself. This was why he tried so hard to detach himself from emotions; they were so cumbersome, so bothersome to deal with, and he thought that he was better off without them.

Still, he had already accepted to exchange numbers, and he couldn't undo his agreement. Of course, he had several phones, and all of them were under different cellular companies so that it would be harder to track him down. He used some of his phones for business, some were for general use, there was a phone for keeping in contact with interesting people (not that he had to use that phone very often), and there was one phone strictly reserved for Watari's number and Watari's number alone.

L was currently using the phone he had for keeping in contact with interesting people. There weren't many contacts on it, so he didn't really run the risk of giving anything away about his actual identity. After exchanging phones and entering their numbers in, they gave back each other's phone, and with a final goodbye, L and Light were about to leave.

"Well, I hope to see you again soon, I had a lot of fun with you," Light grinned. L was about to say goodbye back when he looked directly at Light's face, and his heart might've missed a beat if it weren't for the fact that his heartbeat was involuntary. Unable to hide the smoldering blood rushing to his cheeks, L turned away. Embarrassed that he couldn't control this response, L's features reddened further, and he lifted his arm in front of his face in a hopeless attempt to hide his blush. What was he so expressive about his emotions with Light?! They had only known each other for all but two weeks, but L's defenses were already starting to fail.

All it took was one dazzling, amazing smile, and L was weak at the knees. He was paralyzed and helpless, all because of one damn smile. L had earlier established that most, if not all, of Light's smiles were fake, but this one... he saw how the smile reached Light's eyes. This smile was genuine, and no matter how much he denied it, L couldn't get enough.

Perhaps he should've distanced himself from Light. Maybe this was the cue for him to back off. It probably would've been best for L to stop contacting Light all together, but... he couldn't. He knew that this decision was foolish, that it was stupid to put both himself and some random person whom he barely knew in danger just because he found someone interesting for once. Yet, only the most mysterious of entities in the universe knew why L was doing this.

L wanted- no, he needed to find out why he was feeling this way. He had to get to the bottom of this, but he didn't know where to start. He didn't understand the human nature. It was the one thing he couldn't wrap his head around no matter how hard he tried. He could study it, exploit its weaknesses, even use the nature of humans in a way that best suited him, but he could never understand it. That bothered him to no end. It bothered him that the average person could comprehend human nature, but he, a genius, mind you, couldn't.

 _"Light... why are you making me feel this way? You make my stomach do flip-flops. You make my cheeks go red and my knees feel weak. Am I sure that I want to see what's behind your mask, your facade? Because if I were to uncover what's behind your smiling face, what's behind the lies, will I be able to take it? Or will I go weak at the knees and fall in front of you? Am I, myself, ready to take this mask of mine off, or will I hate the feeling of vulnerability?"_ L mused in his head.

L hated this. He hated feeling this way. It was torture, torture he'd say, torture that he had all these feelings rushing through him, but he didn't know what these feelings were. Feelings... they were a close companion, but so alien, so foreign at the same time. Feelings, to L at least, were like a shadow. Feelings were ever-present, unrelenting, wouldn't let you go, but when you turned around to face them, you could only see their dark, flat outlines. Just like how shadows only gave you a vague picture of what was casting them, it was hard to tell which feeling manifested inside of you.

"Ryuzaki? Ryuzaki? Ryuzaki?!" only when Light called out his fake name for the third time was when he re-caught L's attention.

"Oh, Light," L redirected his focus back to the man in front of him. This man... _this_ man was such a conundrum! Well, at least to L he was, since Light might've not even realized the effect he had on L.

"I was getting kind of worried when you didn't respond, are you okay?" Light inquired. "I don't mean to be nosy, but is there anything bothering you?"

"W-what? No, of course not, I'm fine," L reassured Light, but really, he was reassuring himself more than anyone else. L just hoped that he had put on a display that was convincing enough. Both him and Light appeared to be liars, and one liar could spot another liar a mile away. And that stutter he had at the beginning of his sentence. He hated it whenever he stuttered or didn't know what to say. He didn't like to be seen as weak, to be seen as vulnerable and helpless. If people saw him as weak, what would they think? If he was anything but an unfeeling robot, what would the world make of him?

Once you stripped away that stoic expression, the deadpan he always spoke with, all his quirks and mannerisms, what did you get? L knew, but he didn't want to say. He didn't want to say because once you stripped everything away, his intellect, his odd habits, _everything_ that made him _L_ , you would get nothing more than a scared and lonely child who wished that he had a daddy that loved him. Sure, there was Watari, but L had only found Watari after years of agony and loneliness.

Underneath his own mask, he still had all of those odd tendencies and nervous habits, but beneath _everything_ was a little kid who just wanted to be loved. Was that too much to ask for? Was someone who loved him too much for the universe to provide? Apparently so, it seemed. Or maybe... the universe was just waiting for the right person, and who knew if the right person was standing in front of L right now or not? L didn't know, not at this very moment, but he had this gut feeling that... he wanted to be friends with Light. Even if they would grow apart in a number of years, he still wanted for Light to be a part of his life.

Pushing aside his personal reservations, L took a deep breath and opened his mouth before he could regret his course of action. He was about to do something he considered as stupid, but he had to do it. "Light?" L started. "May I ask you something?"

"Sure, what is it?" Light asked.

"Well..." okay, there was no turning back now. There was a pause that lasted for a few seconds, and within those few seconds, L scolded himself, _"Just spit it out, L!"_ More seconds passed, but just as L thought that he wouldn't be able to do it, his vocal cords started working again, "Would you like to hang out again? I... I had a fun time with you..."

 _"Stupid, stupid L! Why the hell are you doing this?! Why?! Why?! Why?! Stupid, stupid, stupid! Why did you just ask for him to hang out with you?!"_ L, immediately regretting his decision but refusing to show it, reprimanded himself in his thoughts.

Before he could continue berating himself, though, Light responded, "That'd be great, actually. Would you like to go to my house for dinner next week?"

L's heart dropped to his stomach. Wasn't this a bit soon to be introducing L to Light's parents?! Then again, according to Watari, L had been talking about Light ever since Watari got back from his vacation. If Watari knew this much about Light, it would only be fair for Light's parents to be able to scratch the surface on all there was to know about L.

"D-dinner?" L almost couldn't get the words out.

"Yeah, but don't worry, I'll make sure that my mom can compensate for your eating habits," Light chuckled when he mentioned the mass amounts of sugar L took in every day.

"Oh, yes, thank-you for considering that," L could only nod and pretend to smile. Now that he had suggested spending more time with Light on a whim _and_ agreed to Light's idea of eating dinner with his family, there was no backing out. That would make L seem more suspicious than he already way, which wasn't a good thing if you were one who hated to attract attention as much as L did.

"No problem, the next time I'm over for dinner with my family, it'll be one week from now, at six-forty-five. I'll tell them you're coming, and since I have your number, I'll text you my address right now," Light texted L his address, turned to leave, and with a wave, he was off. He shouted over his shoulder as he walked, "Well, see you next week! I look forward to you coming over!"

As soon as Light left, L dug his fingers into his hair. _"Ah! Why am I being so stupid?!"_ L would've screamed if no one else was around, but there were a few brave park-goers who still dared to venture out at this time.

Trying to regain his composure, L whipped out his phone to call Watari, "Yes, Watari? Yes, I'd like to go home now."

"I was wondering when you'd call; you've been out for six hours. Honestly, this is the most time you've spent with anyone besides me, and I'm thrilled! You finally made a friend, I'm so proud!" Watari voice filled L's ears. It was soothing and comforting, but all the while, it reminded L of his stupid decision to ask Light to go out with him again.

Then, the realization hit him. He had been out for six freaking hours?! How did he lose track of time like that?! L looked up into the sky, which was almost dark at this point. All that needed to happen was for the stars to show up and cover the sky in their scattered, glowing glory. L slapped his forehead. Now he was really behind with his work.

"L, are you alright?" Watari now sounded quite concerned, probably because L hadn't responded for a while.

"Oh, sorry, I must've spaced out," L sighed, and he saw his breath in front of him. "How long will it take for you to pick me up?"

"Only ten minutes, is that okay?" Watari replied.

"I'll be fine until then," L confirmed as he sat back down. He had wasted enough time, so ten minutes wasn't going to do much.

L closed his phone after he and Watari exchanged their see-you-later's, and L secretly thanked his insomnia. Without it, the amount of work he'd be able to do would be cut in half, which was very, very dreadful if you happen to be the world's top three detectives. At least he had a full night's worth of work he would still be able to accomplish, though Watari was likely to get rather annoyed with the constant sound of L typing at five o' clock in the morning. Even if L ran on practically no sleep, Watari's sleeping patterns were normal, so it was rather hard for their sleeping schedules to coexist.

Watari constantly told L that he needed more sleep, too, that just because he had insomnia didn't mean that he didn't need to rest, but, unfortunately for Watari, those warnings fell on deaf ears. His sleeping algorithms might catch up with him someday, but not now, so L had no concern over such a thing. He had work to do and justice to bring upon criminals, and there was no way he would let something as trivial to him as sleep interfere with that.

L waited for a time, whirling his head around every once in a while to catch more glimpses of the fresh snowfall. He started rubbing his arms to keep warm, because as the sun settled beneath the horizon, the temperature took a sharp drop. The wind picked up as well, and it sent chills through L's core as it ripped through the park.

While playing chess with Light, L hadn't really gotten the opportunity to take in his surroundings, but now, since he was alone, he turned to observing all the little details about the park to distract him from the cold. For a while, it worked. L noticed how the snow looked like powdered sugar (which made him quite hungry), how the only animals around were some fearless birds that decided to stay outside and away from their cozy, comfortable nests, and how approximately one person walked along the sidewalk that ran through the park every five minutes.

L wasn't surprised that people strolled through the park at such a low rate. It was late, cold, and most would be sitting around a table to have dinner. Perhaps Light was sitting around the table with his family at this very moment, laughing and sharing tidbits about what had been happening to him lately. Maybe Light would even mention their little meeting and how Light had invited L over for dinner next week-

Then, the implications of having dinner with Light's family sunk in. _"Why did I not realize earlier?!"_ L's already large eyes widened to the size of saucers. Before he met up with Light today, he had done some "light" **(A/N: A Light pun was inevitable)** snooping around in an attempt to do some research about Light and his family. It was a weird, slightly disturbing habit, but being a secretive, antisocial shut-in who is also a detective that constantly has to hide their face out of fear of the many enemies they have tends to do that to you.

Anyway, L had done some research about Light, and he found out that Soichiro Yagami, chief of the NPA, was Light's father. That proved as a small problem, as even though no one in the NPA could see L's face, meeting Soichiro would be undeniably awkward. L was used to talking to Soichiro as L, not as Ryuzaki, so he knew he would have to adjust some of his behaviors in order to not raise any suspicions. Though, L wasn't saying that he would have to temporarily pretend that he didn't have insane, socially unacceptable quirks. You see, he was used to talking to Soichiro as a superior, as a boss, even, but at the dinner he would have with Light and his family, L had to play the part of simply being Light's friend.

That meant that he would most likely have to adjust his speech patterns, pretend that he didn't know much about Light's father or the rest of Light's family for that matter, and, to avoid making anyone at the dinner table uncomfortable, he would most likely have to refrain from talking about the recent murders that had been occurring as of late. _Great._ Just great. Next week, L would probably have the most awkward dinner of his entire life, and he still had a small mountain's worth of work to do when he returned to the hotel.

L pinched the bridge of his nose, and he hoped that he would be able to hold out until one week from now. "What have I gotten myself into?" he murmured, still clasping the area above his nose and in between his eyes. He used his other hand to change the position of the wool hat he wore because his mass of hair was causing for the article of clothing to slide off his head, and he turned his body around, his back leaning against the table that still had the chess pieces on it and his chin resting on his knees.

He looked past his shoulder to see the empty box of cookies that laid tipped over along with the numerous conquered chess pieces from his and Light's game, and he noticed the cookie crumbs surrounding and falling out of the box.

To entertain himself and pass the time until Watari got here, he began to debate with himself whether he should eat the crumbs or not.

 _"Well, I am still hungry, and those crumbs look rather good, but... would one consider it hygienic to eat the crumbs that have fallen on this table? I'd say about... mmm... I'd say about forty to fifty hands have touched the table these crumbs are laying on today, and I'd say about thirty percent of the people that touched this table played at least one game of chess, thus contaminating the table further. Also, there is a twenty percent chance that a bird has previously pooped on this table within the last few days,"_ L took one last glace at the enticing crumbs on the table, and he sighed in defeat. _"Looks like I'll have to leave the crumbs today."_

Disappointed that his own logic had prevented him from enjoying the treat of a few fallen crumbs, L determined that it would be best for him to stop thinking about food for now. That would make him even hungrier, and it would also remind him that he wasn't in a hotel room, that he wasn't working to solve his current case, and that he wasn't eating the cream-puffs he said he'd eat once he got back.

 _"When will Watari get here?"_ L asked himself even though he knew he would get no answer.

 _Honk! Honk! Honk!_ The familiar sound made L perk up. Finally! Watari was here. Because of the fact that Watari couldn't fit the car into the park, L would have to walk to the street surrounding the park in order to be driven home, so L slid off the park bench and grabbed the empty box of cookies, since he hated it when people littered. He didn't know why he hated litterers, he just hated them, and throughout all of his world travels, he would almost always encounter one or two people that threw their trash on the ground. That action grated at his nerves, but, as before stated, he never knew why. He supposed he would find out why he despised litterers eventually. For now, though, that was a question and subject to ponder about for another day, and he headed towards the road.

His feet crunched through the fluffy snow, and as he walked through the paved walkway that ran through the park, he shuffled around snow with every step he took. He passed a person or two every once in a while, but other than that, this place was practically deserted.

It had gotten pretty dark, so the streetlamps that lined the sidewalks were just beginning to turn on, providing a pleasant glow that guided him safely back to Watari. He found Watari waiting for him, and he was standing at the side of the car with the door open.

"Looks like you've enjoyed yourself," Watari gave L a wink, and he added, "what have you been up to for the last six hours? You usually never stay outside of the hotel room for more than thirty minutes, much less sit around at a park for twelve-fold that amount of time."

"Well, Light is very interesting..." L sheepishly played around with a stray lock of hair. "We played a game of chess, four games, actually, and it was fun. We both won two games each."

Watari lifted his eyebrow in surprise, "I can see why you're intrigued with Light. I just didn't expect for him to match you so well."

"Nor did I," L admitted. "No one's ever beaten me in chess before. It's something new, and I suppose that I just liked the challenge so much that I didn't want to leave Light. Who knows if I'll ever come across someone like him again?"

"Maybe you won't, so it's important to maintain contact with him. He can be good for you. Maybe he can even be your first friend," Watari offered L a wrinkly smile, and L shrugged and stepped into the car. Watari closed the door for L with a soft _plunk!_ and hopped into the driver's seat. They drove off, and they didn't speak to each other for a while, the quiet hum and rumble of the engine being the dominating sound in the car.

The car ride was going relatively smoothly. L looked out the window just in time to see the first stars of the night entering into view, and the road before him and Watari was calm and devoid of traffic. You'd expect for there to be more people out and about at this time, but surprisingly, the streets only had a few others dotted throughout.

The sky had both patches of clouds and clear openings where L observed pockets of bright, diamond-like stars. Even in his sitting position of a crouch, L's muscles gradually relaxed as the car ride continued, and he enjoyed being inside a warm, closed-off car that had heating. He hadn't noticed the cold while playing those games of chess with Light, but once Light left and there was nothing to occupy his attention for very long, the cold jabbed at him with its full force until Watari came to pick him up.

Even now, he could feel small pins and needles poking lightly into his skin, and his fingers still tingled a bit as they tried to fully regain all their dexterity. As usual, L lost himself in his mind. He thought about not only today but the past few weeks. He thought about how Light was always on his mind, about how much he enjoyed playing chess with Light, and most of all, that fuzzy feeling he got when Light smiled.

L thought there was something wrong with him, that he shouldn't have sought out companionship from Light, but he just couldn't stop. He couldn't control his desire for... for a friend. _Friend._ To L, that was a confusing word. Up until now, he didn't really understand why people wanted friendship. Most of the people he knew, other than Watari obviously, had only a professional relationship with him. They knew L because he was, well, L. That was the only reason L had any contacts outside of his interactions with Watari. He knew people because his job required it, not because he wanted someone by his side, but this person, this _one_ person turned that mentality on its head. Light didn't completely change L's opinion on friendship, but he planted the seed for the eventual change.

This seed of thought that had been implanted into L's head... he didn't want to say so, but the seed of thought that was growing inside his head terrified him. It terrified him because to L, friendship was terrifying. He didn't want to think about friendship, something he deemed as useless. Sure, everyone needed friends, but not L. Right? That was what L had thought for so, so many years, and to have that assertion contradicted so forcefully, so suddenly, caused him to, for once, not know what to think.

Raising his thumb to his lips, L started chewing on the nail. He clutched his knees with his fingers, too, and he curled his toes on the edge of the seat. There were butterflies in his stomach, his heart was pounding at the speed of sound, and his abused thumbnail was non-verbally complaining for L to stop gnawing on it. Of course, even with his thumbnail's objections, he couldn't stop the nervous habit, and, having had enough of this lack of talk, L decided to stir up a conversation with Watari to divert his attention away from the odd sensations and feelings that apparently popped out of nowhere.

L broke the peaceful silence that had settled between him and Watari, and then, in a very soft, somewhat fragile voice, L spoke, "Watari?"

"Yes L? Do you need anything?" Watari questioned from the driver's seat. "We're almost back at the hotel."

"Do you really think Light could be my first friend?" L mumbled.

"I don't see why not," L couldn't see Watari's face because it was turned away from his own, but L could practically sense the smile on Watari's lips. "The both of you seem compatible enough."

"It's just that I'm new to this friendship thing, if I can even call Light my friend. I've only known him for around two weeks," L finally released his thumbnail from his mouth, but now he was twitching, presumably out of nervousness.

"So? You have to know someone for two weeks before you know them for two years," Watari said.

L sighed, not saying anything after that. He didn't need to. Whether Watari realized it or not, Watari had won this argument, and there wasn't exactly an option to back away from this friendship thing. L was too hooked on his interest in Light to let go, and Watari, well, let's just say Watari was doing nothing to stop L from seeking friendship with Light.

For the rest of the drive home, neither person in the car said anything. L didn't want to ruin the atmosphere, and Watari was busy driving, so it was just L and any thoughts swirling around in that complex brain of his.

The thunder of the engine was once again the main sound inside the car, and even when L heard someone honk their car-horn out in the distance, he paid no mind to it. He was practically alone with his thoughts, even with Watari inside the car with him, and he was glad that Watari knew him well enough to not push conversation further.

As they drove, L's mind shifted back to the case, and soon enough, L was following his usual train of thought, the train of thought concerning the murder investigation he was heading. He had Light's number, so perhaps he could call or text him in order to convince Light to share his theory regarding the investigation with the rest of the NPA.

It would all be fine, L convinced himself. He convinced himself that everything would return to normal once he got back to work again, and with Light and his opinions about the murder case still fresh on his mind, L let his thoughts drift and his musings run wild.

* * *

Light had just finished having dinner with his family, and he was sitting on a green sofa, in the living room with his mom, dad, and sister, Sayu. Nothing much was happening at the moment. There was some crappy, uninspiring Hideki Ryuga film blaring on the TV, and Sayu was watching said film, but other than that, things were relatively dull, not that Light minded that too much.

Ever since he had gotten himself a job and apartment, he caught himself spending less and less time with his family, which was rather unfortunate because he and his family were extremely close. He'd spent so many years growing up in this house with his parents and sister, but now, after moving out, he could only visit them no more than once a week. Sometimes, he would end up not seeing them for a month or so because of colliding schedules, and he was not appreciating the rift that was forming between him and his family as a byproduct of this disagreement between everyone's daily routines.

He and his father had work, where they both often had to work overtime. His mother always had some errand to do. Heck, Sayu was just starting out with college, so she was quite busy, too. All in all, Light wished he could spend more time with his loved ones, but he knew he couldn't do much about it. He probably wasn't going to have the number of hours he worked shortened anytime soon, the same situation applying to his father, his mom was perpetually stuck within a loop of rushing around town to do things and trying to make sure the household was running smoothly, and Sayu was slowly but surely learning how to fend for herself without Light being there to help her with quadratic equations.

Light sighed. He could only hope that his family wouldn't drift apart too much even with everything everyone had to do, and as that thought ran through his head, he leaned further into the couch. He was sitting on the left end, and his mother and father were sitting next to each other, Soichiro having his arm lovingly folded over his wife's shoulder and a smile on both of their faces. Light smiled at the sight; at least his mother and father's relationship was still going strong, so he could rest easy and know that a divorce wouldn't be driving the family apart anytime soon.

"So Light, has everything been okay at work?" Sachiko, Light's mother, couldn't help but ask. "I hear that you're getting promoted."

"Things are fine," Light shrugged nonchalantly. He was now resting his elbow on the couch's arm, and his head was tilted back slightly so he could see the ceiling at the corners of his vision.

"That's good to hear," Soichiro chimed in. "I've been slightly worried about the amount of work you've been taking on lately."

Light nodded, and he was about to open up his mouth to speak, but Sayu, who was perched on the large chair to Light's right, had beaten him to it. "So Light," her high-pitched, always excited-sounding voice rang through the air. Light internally chuckled at his sister and the familiar, squealing sound of her voice. It seemed kind of weird, but Sayu's voice was so familiar and comforting that it somewhat was like the vocal equivalent of a security blanket. Yes, that sounded odd, and yes, Light doubted that the other people he knew could say the same about their sisters' voices, but just hearing his family members speak brought him peace. He was used to their voices and ways of speech, so no matter what his family said, their words would always console him.

Today, though, luck didn't appear to be on his side, as what his sister said next definitely didn't console him.

"Do you have a girlfriend yet?" Sayu's curious tone was all the evidence Light needed in order to know that Sayu wasn't going to just drop the subject.

"You know I'm not that interested in dating," Light groaned. "I don't want to talk about this kind of stuff."

"But why?! Girls flocked to you in high school! I remember this one time when someone even resorted to stalking you-" Sayu was now leaning over the side of the chair she was sitting in, presumably to get closer to Light so that he could hear her better.

"Don't bring up the stalking incident," Light pinched the bridge of his nose. He didn't need to be reminded of when that happened.

"Fine, fine," Sayu waved her hands defensively, and she started pouting a little. "All I'm saying is that you're not using your natural charm! There're so many people who wish that it'd be as easy for them as it is for you to get a date! People just want what they don't have, huh?" Sayu huffed before continuing, "You have to find someone eventually! It's impossible for you to not get at least one date out of all of this! I mean, have you seen how much your female coworkers flirt with you?!"

"Sayu does have a point," Soichiro intervened. "It's nice to have someone to live your life with, and your mother and I won't be here forever. We just want you to find someone who'll keep you company."

"I know," Light let out a deep, pent-up breath that he didn't realize he was holding. "I'm just not ready yet, that's all. I'm pretty sure I'll find someone if you just give it enough time."

Light didn't really get why his family was so concerned about his love-life. He could take care of it himself, and he didn't really consider himself to be someone who desperately wanted a relationship. It was odd; people were falling in love with him pretty much everywhere he went, yet he had never felt any particular attraction towards women. At first, he just thought that was because he hadn't found the right person yet, but as time wore on, Light was getting more and more convinced that the universe just didn't intend for him to fall in love. Of course, he didn't have too many problems with that. To him, relationships were rather hard to maintain, so he didn't really bother. It bothered the rest of his family, though, so in turn, that was the only reason his status as single bugged him so much.

Maybe Sayu was right. Maybe people, no matter what, always want what they don't have, and since Light already had plenty of potential partners, he didn't have a need or desire for one.

Or maybe... he was simply looking into the wrong gender...

 _"What...?"_ Light, understandably puzzled at the thought that had just rammed into him, could barely believe what was going on in his head at the moment. _"Brain, what do you mean that I'm looking into the wrong gender?! I know that I've never been interested in women before. I've never even considered one cute... but..."_

The thought of Ryuzaki with his cute, messy head of hair and adorable, panda-like face popped into Light's head. In fact, Ryuzaki was beyond just "cute". Now that Light thought about it, Ryuzaki was also rather attractive... His skin was pale and blemish-free, like porcelain. His hair, as wild as it was, looked soft and very enjoyable to touch. And his lips... they were thin and chapped, but nonetheless, they looked soft... like two pillows-

 _"Ah! What the hell am I thinking?!"_ Light was very unsure about why he was thinking this way, and he had even less of a clue as to why his mind somehow wandered off to thinking about Ryuzaki's lips. The more he tried to deny it, though, the more he thought Ryuzaki was alluring, even _attractive_.

Maybe his brain was right. Maybe the reason why he didn't find the idea of dating appealing was because-

 _"Light, pull yourself together,"_ Light scolded to himself. Trying to push the thoughts out of his head, he returned his attention back to his family, who were still chatting about how Light hadn't dated anyone since high school. _"Maybe I shouldn't have returned my focus back to them... thinking about how attractive Ryuzaki is seems to be much more tolerable than having your family so openly talk about how you haven't had your first kiss yet..."_

"Okay, I think that's enough of an insight into what's going on with my relationship status," Light grumbled. "Give it a rest, I don't think I'll be finding anyone to date anytime soon."

* * *

 **Okay, so I've been trying to get my chapters to be a little shorter... that failed miserably... *sigh* Oh well, I guess it can't be helped, but do you prefer longer chapters or chapters that are a bit shorter? I personally like them to be a bit shorter because that way, there's less stuff to edit. XD As I said earlier, I'm going to be starting school again after a rather enjoyable summer vacation, so that means that I won't be able to update as frequently as I did during the summer. I hope I don't wear down your patience for taking a long time to update, but please understand that the first couple weeks of school do get quite crazy.**

 **It'll also be my first year in high school! *gasp* Oh, I'm so nervous! For anyone who's in high school, what is it like? I'm very scared, and I need to load up on as much advice as I can get! Well, bye, and see you next chapter.**


	8. I'll be Your Friend

**Chapter 8: I'll be Your Friend**

* * *

"I'm pretty excited to be meeting Ryuzaki today, you haven't stopped talking about him since you mentioned that you invited him over for dinner," Sachiko commented while preparing supper. Light was in the kitchen as well, and he was assisting her with the cooking. Light remembered how he used to do this all the time as a teenager. When he was younger, he often stood at the kitchen counter to slice some vegetables or stir whatever soup his mother was making that day, all to help his mother since she was always running low on time, and he was forever glad that he had helped his mother cook in the past. Cooking with his mother taught him how to make decent food, which made his transition from living with his family to living on his own much easier.

Still, he thought that his mother's cooking was the best in the world, and no matter how many years he had spent preparing meals with her, his mom's cooking skills would always be superior. It was natural to prefer her cooking, really, because not only did she have more experience than Light, but most children thought that their mother's cooking was the best.

Anyway, returning from the nostalgia-fueled memories of how he and his mother used to always spend time in the kitchen together, Light was currently watching over some fish boiling in a pot. The pot was relatively big, but it didn't contain so much stew that his family wouldn't be able to finish it in the span of a few days. The soup in the pot was simmering, and the fish was almost done. After spending so many years watching fish boil under the guidance of his mother, Light knew exactly when the fish would be ready. He only had to wait approximately five more minutes, and then he could turn the heat off and join Sayu and his dad at the dinner table.

Sachiko, as she chatted with Light, sauteed some vegetables in a wide pan, and she stood to Light's right. The pot she was cooking the vegetables in gave off a sizzling sound, and the aroma of the food his mother was making made its way up to Light's nose, causing for his stomach to audibly growl.

"Hold on, I need to get something from the fridge, could you watch over the stir-fry for a moment?" Sachiko requested as she headed towards the refrigerator.

"Yeah, no problem," Light nodded, and he split his attention between the two dishes that were being cooked. He waited for a few seconds, but noticing that his mother hadn't come back from across the room yet, he turned around to see if anything was wrong. "Hey, mom, is anything wrong?"

He heard a rustling sound, followed by the closing of the refrigerator door, and he found his mother scrambling back to him, a slightly stressed expression on her face. She looked a bit worried, although Light could tell from his mother's small frown and the way her eyes weren't all-out panicking that the problem wasn't so major that it would cause for the world to end or something as big as that. It was just a minor implication. She was most likely missing an ingredient for something, or perhaps a cockroach that somehow had manged to sneak in was hiding under a surface.

"Light, sorry if this is going to inconvenience you, but I checked the fridge and realized that we're out of tomatoes. I swear we still had a few yesterday; maybe something happened to them, or maybe I used them up without knowing, but could you run to the store really quick to buy some?" his mother pleaded, although Light was aware that his mother already knew his answer.

"Yeah, sure thing," he smiled, hoping to calm her nerves. Even though his mom was relatively excited about Ryuzaki's visit, Light could tell that she wanted to make a good first impression on him. "Don't worry, it's not inconveniencing me in the slightest. The grocery store is only about two blocks from here."

His mother sighed in relief, and she wiped off some of the sweat that was beading onto her forehead, "Thank-you, I know I can always count on you for these types of things."

"No need to thank me, it's completely normal to be missing some tomatoes every now and again," Light pleasantly chuckled to ease the apprehension in his mother. He didn't want her to feel so stressed. Ryuzaki wasn't really the type of person to judge you just for missing some tomatoes as far as Light could tell, not that Light was sure Ryuzaki would even eat said tomatoes. From his observation of Ryuzaki, it didn't appear that he ate any sort of healthy food whatsoever, although he could be wrong. Who knows? Although, Light remembered how relieved Ryuzaki looked at the park when he mentioned that his household could handle Ryuzaki's sugary diet, so it was unlikely that Ryuzaki had normal eating tendencies.

Just as Light was about to exit the kitchen, get his coat and wallet, and walk to the store, the doorbell rang. "Oh my, he's here earlier than I expected," Sachiko widened her eyes. She looked at Light, and Light non-verbally promised her that he would be back soon.

From the other room, there was the sound of pounding footsteps, probably Sayu's because she was the only one in the family who would run inside of the house just to get the door, and Light heard the sound of the door slamming open, another key indication that Sayu was the one at the door because, again, she was the only one in the family who opened doors that loudly. The third hint that it was Sayu who rushed to the door and not his father was the obnoxious, sing-songy voice that echoed through the home.

"You're here!" Sayu's voice was muffled slightly because she and Light were in different rooms, but he still heard her pretty clearly. "Light won't shut up about you! He's been talking about you all week and how you beat him twice at chess, and frankly, I don't believe him, because he's way too much of a genius to ever lose a game of chess!"

"Don't forget that your brother also won two games against me. The final score, after all the games were accounted for, was a tie, so I suppose you can say that both of us are equally matched," a familiar deadpan rang in Light's ear. It was undeniable that Ryuzaki was the one who had just uttered that last sentence.

Light could hear Sayu snort, and just as he was about to step into the hall that lead to the entrance of his home to inform her about manners, he saw two shadows creeping towards the kitchen.

"So this is the guy you invited over to dinner?" Sayu suddenly appeared at the doorway of the kitchen. She entered the kitchen and leaned against the wall, and she pointed to Ryuzaki, who trailed right behind her. Ryuzaki waved but otherwise remained silent. He wore the same outfit as he did last week, which consisted of a jacket loosely wrapped around his way-too-big-for-him white shirt and a baggy pair of jeans that practically dangled from his hips. He stood barefoot next to Sayu, and he was staring at his toes as if they were the most interesting things in the world, wiggling them around like he was stretching them.

Light approached Ryuzaki, shooting Sayu _that_ look, but decided to chat about the way she greeted Ryuzaki later. Light didn't want to ruin Ryuzaki's day just because he and his sister couldn't get along for one evening.

"Hello," Ryuzaki's choice of tone was a peculiar mixture of formal, monotone, and quiet, but it was so very, very Ryuzaki. Light found Ryuzaki's voice to be quite interesting, really. It was deep and smooth, but it still had an undertone of oblivious innocence. Most of all, though, it was extremely easy to identify Ryuzaki's voice. It was distinct, different, and even if he changed the pitch and sound, you would still be able to tell that it was Ryuzaki straight away.

"Hi, it's nice to see you again," Light greeted.

"Likewise," Ryuzaki replied. His face was neutral, his words lacked even a hint of emotion, and probably not even the top experts in the field of reading and understanding body language would be able to conclude what was running through Ryuzaki's head at the moment.

Judging from the way his sister's arm twitched, Light was certain that Sayu was more than a bit unnerved by Ryuzaki's lack of emotional expression, but Light believed that she got what she deserved for being so disrespectful to Ryuzaki at the door.

Light wasn't too nutty about other people's manners; his sister, in the twenty years she had been alive so far, tested his patience plenty of times and taught him to not mind it when people forgot small formalities or didn't have the best courtesy, but he would always be unable to stand people who were rude to others. He hated it when people were horrible to each other. The world had enough problems, and everyone hating each other didn't have to be one of them if only everyone learned a bit of respect.

"Well, I'm going back to the table," Sayu turned on her heels, strolled out the kitchen, and she whistled while she walked out, signalling to Light the extent of her discomfort around Ryuzaki.

"I apologize if my presence has made your sister feel uncomfortable," Ryuzaki commented. Light shuttered. Based on what Ryuzaki just said, it was like he could read Light's mind. It was either that or the fact that Ryuzaki was obviously good at reading people.

"It's fine," Light tried to reassure Ryuzaki. Light was interested in forming a bond with the fellow detective, so alienating Ryuzaki from his family wouldn't do any favors if Light wanted to get closer. After all, Ryuzaki, even though he was quite strange, was also very, very interesting. Ryuzaki was very, very cute, too, but Light had been trying to let go of that thought for the past few days. If he paid too much attention to that thought, it would undoubtedly make things more awkward than they already were, and increasing the already strong air of uncomfortable feelings was the last thing on Light's mind. "Don't worry, my sister sometimes isn't very polite."

"Oh, that's quite alright. If I'm to be honest, my manners are extremely lackluster," Ryuzaki shrugged, and he tilted his head down so that he and Light weren't making eye contact. Ryuzaki didn't say anything for a while after that, but Light's mother came just in time to ease the tension.

"Oh, Ryuzaki, I'm so glad to finally meet you," she began, giving Ryuzaki a bright smile and shaking his hand eagerly. "Dinner will be ready in about twenty minutes, once Light gets back from the store with tomatoes."

"You're going to the store?" Ryuzaki asked, his eyes sparkling with curiosity.

"Yeah, want to come? If you want to that is," Light offered. He walked past Ryuzaki to the front door, and he grabbed his coat and knitted wool hat that were hanging off the coat rack.

"Well, I might as well," Ryuzaki met Light at the front door, which Light had already opened. "I already have my coat on, anyway."

"Okay, be safe, boys!" Sachiko called out from the kitchen. Light then heard the clatter of some pots, and he assumed that his mother was going to made an extra side dish while they were gone.

"I think I still owe you for holding open the door for me the last time we met," Light said as he stepped out, holding the door in place so that Ryuzaki could exit without much of a hassle. Light could've sworn that he saw Ryuzaki's cheeks momentarily flare up in crimson, but he must've been seeing things since Ryuzaki had the ultimate poker-face.

They were out on the street, and they didn't say anything to each other for a while. Both were just enjoying the silence, and Light watched the gentle snowfall as they walked. Because Ryuzaki was most likely not very familiar with this area, Ryuzaki remained a few steps behind Light, his hands buried in his pockets. It was pleasantly quiet, and there wasn't too much commotion going on in the streets or sidewalks. Every once in a while, someone would pass by, but most of whoever that Light saw walking by was alone or in a very small group, as it wasn't the ideal weather for hanging out.

After they walked the two blocks they needed to in order to get to the store, Light turned to Ryuzaki, who was still a few paces behind him, and said the first bit of small talk that popped into his head, just to be friendly, "You know, Christmas is coming up soon."

Ryuzaki, despite the fact that he still needed to catch up to Light, stopped for a few seconds to stare. He eyed Light down with those huge, shimmering eyes of his, the eyes that Light found interesting and irresistible. They were enticing, curious, and that pair of wide, black eyes was the only barrier between Ryuzaki's thoughts and the outside world. Light would've loved to have known what happened in Ryuzaki's fascinating brain, for lack of a better term.

Yes, fascinating was one of the only words Light could use to describe Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki was so unique, so complicated, and his personality refused to be categorized. Ryuzaki was just... _Ryuzaki_. Light simply couldn't put Ryuzaki into words, and if adjectives that could accurately describe who Ryuzaki was existed, those adjectives, too, would be utterly fascinating. Everything about Ryuzaki was endearing, interesting, fascinating, and... _cute_. _"Yeah,"_ Light heaved on the inside. _"My thoughts are going there again. Great job, brain. Great job for making me feel **this** way around Ryuzaki. I mean, what do I even feel when I'm around him?!" _

Light sighed before he could stop himself. The thought of Ryuzaki being cute kept creeping into his head no matter how much he tried to push it away. He didn't get deeper into his thoughts, though, because Ryuzaki was beginning to reply to Light's earlier statement.

"Yes, the holidays are quickly approaching. Christmas is next week. Too bad I don't celebrate Christmas, or any holiday for that matter," Ryuzaki seemed to have tacked on that last part about him not celebrating Christmas as an after thought, but for whatever reason Ryuzaki had decided to mention that he didn't celebrate holidays, Light was more surprised than anything else. Sure, during the three weeks he had known Ryuzaki, Light found that the other man seemed eccentric, possibly antisocial, and as someone who didn't practice the art of conventional human behavior, but the thought of Ryuzaki not celebrating holidays just didn't sit well with Light.

Was Ryuzaki that busy that he couldn't find the time to celebrate or at least take a few breaks? No, that didn't make sense. Ryuzaki was here with Light right now, and if he was too busy, he would've turned down the meeting. So what was it? Why didn't he celebrate anything? "You don't even celebrate your birthday?" Light couldn't help but ask. _Surely_ , Ryuzaki still blew out a few candles on his own _birthday_ , right?

"No, I don't," Ryuzaki shook his head, saying it as if it was no big deal. "I don't have any friends to celebrate my birthday with, anyway."

"Then when's your birthday?" Light suddenly asked.

"October thirty-first," Ryuzaki replied. "Why?"

Light blinked a few times. _"Huh,"_ he thought. _"I don't think I've met someone who's birthday is on Halloween before."_ "I asked so that I can come over and celebrate your birthday with you the next time it rolls around," Light explained, a smile forming on his lips. Yes, he had to wait nearly a year before October would come, particularly October thirty-first because it was the last day of the month, but he still couldn't wait. He felt a little burst of happiness and excitement whenever he was around Ryuzaki, and hanging out with Ryuzaki during his birthday sounded fun.

"But..." Ryuzaki's jaw slacked open slightly, him obviously at a loss for words. "I-I... It's just that..."

"Just what?" Light questioned. _"Maybe Ryuzaki is kind of shy...? No, I don't think that's the case. So why? What is it, Ryuzaki?"_

"I-I..." Ryuzaki's lips quivered a little before he resumed speaking. "You want to be my friend...?" Ryuzaki stared deeply into Light's eyes, probably trying to detect a hint of lying, but as calculating as those eyes were, Ryuzaki's eyes still melted Light's heart and made his heart pound.

 _"Of course I want to be your friend! Why would you think that I don't?!"_ Light wanted to say, but he kept his composure. "Yeah," Light smiled. He turned around to enter the grocery store, and as Light neared the automatic sliding doors, they opened, allowing for Light to enter.

Ryuzaki, still apparently within his thoughts, followed Light like a toddler, the raven-haired detective not very tentative to his surroundings.

"Oh," Ryuzaki blinked a few times, as if he was surprised by Light's answer. "I've never encountered someone that desired my friendship."

* * *

L didn't know what to say. As they entered the grocery store through the automatic sliding doors and got a shopping cart, L could feel his stomach fluttering, which was odd, but around Light, everything seemed... well, he didn't know what to make of it, really. Whatever he felt whenever he was around Light defied all reason, and that bothered L. He was a detective, the world's top three detectives if you wanted to get really specific, and his job and life revolved around reason, rationality, and tangible, logical evidence.

These feelings that pivoted around in his head as the shopping cart's wheels squeaked with every turn, though, wouldn't listen to the logical part of L's brain. No, these... feelings... or whatever you may call them, were in some deep, mysterious recess of his brain that he hadn't left uncovered since he was a child. This part of his head was connected to emotions, to illogical thought, and L didn't appreciate that part of his brain tinkering with his perception of the world. L liked to be rational, to weigh all the evidence and act accordingly, but right now, he couldn't. For the first time in forever, his thoughts were rushing through his head too quickly for him to comprehend them.

Feelings... oh how L hated feelings, although he was sure he had made that obvious enough. Feelings coursed through him so quickly, like a river, and for L, they were also torture. He couldn't wrap his head around human emotions. He had spent countless nights thinking about the subject matter, countless hours trying to figure out the true nature of emotions, but so far, he had come to no answer. He hated the fact that feelings, emotions, even _love_ were things that couldn't be fully understood. They were just there, little chemical reactions that happened in your brain, so why did feelings move people so much? Why cry when you were sad? Why laugh when you were happy? Why would you want to make friends? Why would you want to find love? These were the questions that had swarmed L for all his life, and they were the only questions that he couldn't find answers to.

It made him frustrated and powerless. It made his patience run short and his nerves wear away. He hated it, he hated it all. He hated not knowing, not understanding, not being able to join in on other humans when it came to feelings. He hated that his lack of understanding for human emotions put him in this position in the first place, and he hated that emotions even existed. _"Why?! Why do feelings exist?!"_ L asked himself, as desperate as ever for a solution. _"Everything would be so much more efficient if they weren't here!"_

L clamped his teeth over his tongue to keep himself from screaming out in frustration. After all, he had to keep calm, or at least appear calm, anyway. He had only known Light for three weeks, and he didn't want to scare the man away because he couldn't keep his silly emotions in check.

"Really?" Light's voice pierced through the thick, metaphorical veil L had placed around himself. "You've never met someone who wanted to be your friend?"

His thoughts scrambling, L began to remember that he was in the middle of a conversation with Light, the words they had previously said coming back in bits and pieces. L blurted out the first thing that came to his head out of surprise, "O-oh... no, no I have not." He looked Light dead in the eyes, and L was sure that his gaze was burning holes through Light. He didn't mean for the look on his face to be so frightening, but he couldn't help it. He was very new to this whole human interaction thing. The only person he talked to on a day to day basis was Watari, and even then, their conversations were sometimes limited.

"I'm kind of surprised, I really enjoy talking to you," Light commented.

 _Ba thump! Ba thump! Ba thump!_ went L's heart. It felt like something was about to burst from his chest, and as much as he found his ever beating faster heart uncomfortable, he... how did he put this into words? He... kind of liked it. Yes, he liked this weird, pounding sensation in his chest and stomach, and he had no idea why. The funny feeling in his chest was addictive, the stomach butterflies that were returning at full force bringing an odd sense of comfort. _"I really enjoy talking to you,"_ Light's words rang in his ears like a bell.

 _"He... enjoys talking to me?"_ bewilderment circulated through L's head. _"Well, that's a first."_ Well, of course there was Watari who enjoyed talking to him, but come on, this was _Watari_ , the one person who could see L for _who_ he was and not _what_ he was. L was more than certain that Light wasn't too interested in him as a person. Light probably only even bothered to talk to him because he had beaten Light in a game of chess.

"You do? You like to talk to me?" L didn't mean to say that. He jerked his body back a little, and he pulled up his scarf to hide his face. _"Light, why do I keep blushing when I'm around you?! I demand that you explain the effect you're having on me!"_

There was a several seconds pause, probably because Light was processing the shock that was apparently plastered all over his face. Finally, he regained the words he wanted to say, "Yeah, why would I not enjoy talking to you? You're the greatest conversation partner I've ever had!" Light stretched out his arms to emphasize what he just said.

Since they were inside, there were considerably more people around them than if they were outside in the cold, snowy, barren winter, and a small crowd had begun gathering around them. There were others, though, that just gave L and Light a quick, barely noticeable glace to see what all the commotion was about, then went along their ways.

Upon realizing that they were being watched, L tried backing away into an empty aisle. He wasn't quite sure what type of food was kept in this aisle, since he was busy trying to avoid the crowd while acting like nothing was wrong at the same time, and he hid himself behind a pyramid of canned food that was conveniently laying in the middle of the aisle. He even picked up a random can to make it look more like he was perusing through some cans rather than trying to hide away from a crowd. Light must've sensed L's discomfort, because he circled around the aisle, away from the gathering of people around him, and met up with L when he entered the aisle through the end opposite to the one L had entered through, the sugar-addicted detective still shaking behind the stack of cans out of fear of other people.

"You okay?" Light asked.

L gave a shy nod, his blush still searing his face due to embarrassment. "Sorry if I caused you any trouble," L whispered.

"No, it's not a problem, really, I'm not too fond of large groups, either," Light gently patted L on the shoulder. Normally, L would've been halfway across the room by now in an attempt to run away from being touched, but the shoulder pat Light gave him comforted L in a way.

 _"Light, care to explain what in the world you're doing to me?"_ L cringed not from Light's fingers making contact with him, but from his lack of fearful reaction to Light's hand. It was odd, because L usually despised being handled by anyone, much less being patted on the back. When Light lifted his hand away, L subconsciously rubbed the shoulder Light had put his hand on, and there was an after-sensation, even when Light's hand was no longer on L.

L nodded, as it was the only method of reaction that he could think of, and looked away from Light. After considering a few things, he brought up what they were at the store for, "So, we should probably get those tomatoes your mother asked for."

"Oh, right," Light whirled his head around in search for the produce section. "Thanks for reminding me. Don't you hate it when you go to the store to get one item only to buy pretty much everything other than the thing you were trying to get?"

"Um..." L didn't know how to respond. He wasn't sure about these types of things! Watari did all the shopping, causing for L to not even have the experience to relate to what Light was saying. He just said a simple yes, though, so that he wouldn't give away his lack of life skills.

They continued, and L still couldn't rid himself of the odd fluttering sensation in the pit of his stomach. Eventually, he started clutching his abdomen, as if he was having a stomach ache, and he once again fell several steps behind Light.

Light turned around, and he paused for a few seconds when he noticed that L was lagging behind, "Oh, Ryuzaki, are you okay?" Light's eyes landed on L's hands, which were still holding his stomach. "Is your stomach feeling alright? You're clutching it," Light's caramel-colored eyes were flooded with concern, and he was already taking a few steps back so that he could get closer to L.

Immediately, L flung his hands off his stomach, trying to act as natural as he possibly could. Although, L already stood out from the crowd like a speck of paint on one of his plain white shirts, so trying to act natural was a wasted effort. "Don't worry, everything's fine," L insisted, but in truth, he definitely wasn't. _"No, Light, I'm definitely not fine. I'm never fine when I'm around you, yet I feel strangely complete! What is it with these conflicting emotions?! But seriously, Light, stop worrying about me!"_

With Watari being the exception, he didn't really like it when other people worried about him. It probably had something to do with a combination of his secretive lifestyle and hatred of most people, but whatever the reason, he didn't like for people to worry about him. It made him feel weak and useless, not to mention that L was often too stubborn to ask for assistance, thus reinforcing his dislike for people being concerned about him.

"Alright, if you say so," Light gave L a glance of suspicion, but he turned around and continued walking, L making sure that this time, he wouldn't lag behind and concern Light any further.

Soon, they reached the produce section, and even through the weird feelings in his chest and stomach, L kept pace with Light. He didn't want anymore awkward exchanges, and to do that, he had to pretend that there wasn't a storm of feelings and thoughts swirling in his head. Ignoring the cloud of frustration looming over him wouldn't do him or Light any favors, though, so L had to think of a way to let it all out before he snapped.

Out of this cloud of frustration above him, L could practically hear the lightning and thunder crackling onto him, and imaginary rain saturated his thoughts with confusion as he tried to think of a solution to get rid of this cloud. Maybe some sort of crossword puzzle would calm his nerves once he and Light got back, but there was no guarantee that the Yagami's had one at their home. Plus, it could possibly rub Light's family in the wrong direction and make it seem that he was uninterested in the family, which he definitely wasn't. In fact, it was the complete opposite. Since Light was part of that family, it would be advantageous for L to befriend all the members, no matter how difficult it would be for him. He just couldn't pass up the opportunity to develop a bond with Light, as he wasn't sure when someone like Light would pop up again, if ever.

He could eat some sugar, too, if he wanted to distract himself from the frustration cloud, but he couldn't eat sugar all evening. The sugar was only a quick fix, and it wasn't the answer for everything, as much as L wished that wasn't true.

Then, there was always... _talking...?_

 _"That's a stupid idea,"_ L huffed internally. Then he groaned quietly, hating that it had to come to this _, "But I have no choice."_ If he actually wanted to enjoy himself, he would have to strike up a _conversation_.

The last few talks he had with Light were rather forced, so he might as well make amends and clear any ill-will, not that the chance of there being any negative feelings between the two of them exceeded five-percent.

"Light?" L spoke softly, secretly hoping that Light didn't notice.

"Yeah?" Light did notice.

"I... I was just wondering, how was your week?" L tried not to cringe. Small-talk was torture, but it was how most conversation was started, so he had to ease into this with a _"How did your week go?"_ type of sentence.

"Oh, it was okay, I guess. The murder case is stressing me out a bit, we haven't gotten very far recently, and even L's stumped," Light sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose, and he walked to where the tomatoes sat. Absentmindedly placing tomatoes into the shopping cart, Light continued, "I really don't want to talk about it. I hate it that we can't give justice to the victims or their families. Innocent people have gotten murdered, and the least we can do is catch the killer and prevent any more tragedies."

L nodded; he understood that Light wanted to stray away from the case they were working on for now. If he was honest, the case was stressing him out as much as it was stressing Light. "I understand," L nodded. That didn't stop theories about the case from humming in the back of his mind, though, and he could tell that Light was musing about the same train of thought.

"How was your week?" Light suddenly asked.

 _"Oh crap! I forgot that I'm supposed to tell him how my week went, too. For such a genius, you really are stupid, L. Stupid, stupid, stupid!"_ L would've knocked himself on the head, but he was in a crowded area, and doing said action would draw even more attention than his appearance was. Instead, L bit the bullet and pushed himself to carry on, "This week has been quite stressful for me as well. Since I am a detective, I've been flooded with cases as of late. I wish I could've taken on all of them, but I can't, unfortunately."

It was true. As L, people were always contacting him to solve unsolvable crimes, but he had to turn away roughly eighty-nine-percent of them, as much as it pained him. He would work on several cases at once, but that didn't mean that he could end all crime. In the end, even the world's greatest detective was human with human limitations. There were physical limitations, such as L not being able to be there to solve every single case, but there were also mental ones... mental barriers and limitations... like emotions.

 _"Stupid feelings,"_ L bit his tongue to make sure he didn't say it out loud. It would probably freak out Light, and L had no intentions to do that after getting so far with him.

There were also other ways being human hindered him. As a human, L needed to sleep, as much as he convinced himself that he didn't need to, he needed to rest his brain at least once every year or so, and mortality was always something that weighed heavily on him. Being the world's greatest detectives did have its downsides. For one thing, there were pretty much hundreds upon hundreds of people that wanted to kill you for either putting their allies behind bars or to death. Then, there was the fact that desperate government agencies called you twenty-four/seven because they had this crime no one could solve. Plus, keeping your identity a secret was... well, lonely, although there were times when he enjoyed the solitude, so that was a double-edged sword.

"Ryuzaki?" Light chimed in, interrupting L from his endless spiral of thought.

"I'm here! I'm here!" L snapped his head up when Light yanked him so suddenly out of his thoughts. Eventually, his breathing calmed, and his face turned scarlet when he faced Light, "I apologize, I must've zoned out on you again."

"On worries, I do that sometimes, especially when I'm tired," L noticed that Light had already finished putting all the tomatoes he needed into the cart.

 _Tired..._ Then, L realized something. He hadn't gotten any sleep for a solid week and a half. As he stifled a yawn, L felt his knees give way. His eyes suddenly felt droopy, and it was as if someone had placed a ten pound weight on him when he wasn't looking. He fell with a loud _plunk!_

Just before he dozed off, his final thought was, _"Maybe Watari is right... Maybe I should get some more sleep-"_ The rest of that thought was cut off when he found himself sprawled on the ground, his world fading out to black. He had fainted.

* * *

"Ryuzaki!" if Light was keeping the tomatoes in a shopping basket, he would've, without a doubt, dropped them, making him glad that he had decided to go with a cart. That was irrelevant at the moment, though. Ryuzaki was on the ground for who knows why, and they were in a crowded store.

"What to do, what to do?!" Light whispered to himself. He reached for his pockets, but then he realized that he left his phone at home. _"Shit,"_ mentally cursing was all Light could do, since he didn't want for children to hear him say nor say themselves such a word.

Soon, someone had rushed up to Light to help. Light didn't get this person's name, and he was sure that he would never see this person again, but he appreciated it.

After several failed attempts at waking Ryuzaki up, Light and this unnamed person caved in and called an ambulance.

 _"What an utter disaster,"_ Light muttered. He hated seeing Ryuzaki like this. He didn't like to see anybody suddenly collapse, really, as any person with some sense of morality would. "You'll be okay," Light reassured Ryuzaki, even though he knew Ryuzaki couldn't hear him.

Soon, Light heard the chime of loud, blaring sirens and the sight of bright red and blue lights. Concern for Ryuzaki squeezed his insides. He hoped Ryuzaki would be okay. He should've paid closer attention to when Ryuzaki was telling him that he was fine! He should've known that Ryuzaki was lying!

 _"Don't worry, Ryuzaki, everything's going to be alright,"_ Light was kneeling down next to Ryuzaki, holding his hand gently in a comforting manner. _"I'm here for you... I'll be your friend."_

* * *

 **Well, that plot twist at the end was unexpected! To be honest, I didn't decide to write that last scene until I started writing about how tired L was. XP Yeah, I'm terrible at planning stories in advance. Oh well, it leaves more room for plot twists and cliffhangers! MWAHAHAHAHAHA! Run after me with your pitchforks and torches if you want to, and I'm sorry for taking so long to update, but these last two weeks have been crazy.**

 **As I said last chapter, I recently started high school, and more often than not, I'm staying up until one in the morning and am getting on average five to six hours of sleep per day. So if there are more grammatical mistakes than usual this chapter, blame my lack of sleep! I've been losing so much sleep as of late that I've started to get headaches, and my speech has been starting to slur slightly... oh well, I have plans to sleep for twenty hours straight on Saturday, so that's all I can say about this situation.**

 **On the bright side, though, the more tired I am, the more crazy I get, and the more crazy I get, the more crazy my ideas get, and the more crazy my ideas get, the more cliffhangers I'll give you! Okay, I guess that's not a bright side for you, since reading cliffhangers is often torture, but at least something exciting finally happened.**

 **Well, bye, and see you next chapter.**


	9. L

**Chapter 9: L**

* * *

Light was anxiously pacing in the waiting room of a hospital. He didn't know which hospital he was at, since the panic of the situation hadn't allowed him to pay attention to a detail as minute as that. All he cared about was if Ryuzaki was alright or not. He should've known. The eye bags, the way Ryuzaki always looked run-down and over-worked, his sickly-thin frame, they were all clues to how exhausted he actually felt.

There Light was, complaining about how a case at his work was stressing him out while Ryuzaki probably had ten times the amount of things to worry about.

Footsteps echoed through the waiting room. There weren't too many people in there, since it was around ten o' clock at night, but saying that, there was a crying couple who were both trying to comfort each other, a worried mom, and a few bored kids that were somehow building a tower out of magazines.

The hospital smelled of cleaning products and was scented with artificial lemon. The walls and ceiling were beige while the well-polished tiles that made up the floor were white, the said tiles having dusty footsteps on them because Light had been pacing around the room for so long. His family came about two hours ago to visit, but they had to leave soon after to have dinner. Sachiko had even dropped off Light's phone, and she made Light promise her that he would text his father's cellphone as soon as Ryuzaki was awake.

Harsh fluorescent lights were attached to the walls, and they hurt Light's eyes since he was pacing around in the waiting room for so long. Again, though, that fact was irrelevant. Light's mind was too focused on Ryuzaki to worry about such an arbitrary thing. Light murmured a few things under his breath, but he didn't remember what he said. His mind was concentrating on Ryuzaki, because to him, Ryuzaki's health was all that mattered right now.

As more time passed, Light's heart raced faster and faster, and if you didn't know better, you'd assume from the sweat on his face and the pounding of his heart that he'd just ran a marathon. Minutes seemed like hours. Time seemed to have stretched and slowed. And most of all, it seemed that Ryzaki would never wake up. Of course, Light would stay here for as long as it would take for Ryuzaki to finally wake, but his concern for his new friend was choking him.

Light's stomach felt uneasy, and he wanted to vomit. He felt so terrible because Ryuzaki had passed out earlier. Everything was going by so fast and slow at the same time, not that time had any power at the moment. Light didn't care if Ryuzaki would wake up within the next ten seconds or the next decade; Light had to be there for him. What kind of friend would he be if he didn't wait for Ryuzaki to at least wake up?

"Ryuzaki..." Light said quietly. He suddenly stopped pacing, and he paused for a few moments in order to collect his thoughts. Even though they had only met each other three times, Ryuzaki already was worming his way into Light's heart. Light couldn't help but like Ryuzaki. The air of mystery around him, his wonderfully weird quirks, that cute, panda-like face of his-

 _"Why do I think he's so cute?!"_ Light was slightly irritated by his brain at this point. He kept telling his brain to stop thinking of Ryuzaki as cute, but he couldn't help it. There was just something special about him, something unique that made Light particularly fond of Ryuzaki. If only he could pinpoint what that special thing was. Light sighed. He would have to think and debate about that later. Right now, Ryuzaki's well-being was all that mattered.

"Light Yagami?" all of a sudden, a nurse stepped in. He was carrying a clipboard, and he adjusted his glasses as he walked out of the hallway that was connected to the waiting room.

"That's me," Light approached the nurse. "How's Ryuzaki doing?"

"He's fine, we believe that he suddenly collapsed due to exhaustion. He was too groggy for us to interview him and fell back asleep soon after, but he managed to forward us to someone named Watari, who told us that Ryuzaki hasn't had any sleep for a week and a half. We also checked if he obtained any injuries from falling after he fainted, but he's fine," the nurse explained. His gaze was calming, and his posture was relaxed yet professional. He was most likely trained to act like this to calm worried people waiting in the emergency room down, but calm Light he did. Although, the majority of his calmness came from the fact that Ryuzaki would be alright.

Then, what the nurse said hit him, and hit him hard. "Wait..." Light processed what the nurse said one more time to make sure that he didn't make an error in comprehension. "You said he hadn't slept in a week? Are you sure? A week and a half of no sleep isn't healthy. How could someone who gets that little sleep even function?!"

"Yes, we were very surprised by that as well," the nurse nodded. He checked his clipboard one more time, "However, the person named Watari that I mentioned earlier also informed us that Ryuzaki has insomnia, which could be partially the reason, but Ryuzaki must have a rather severe case to go that long without sleep. The period an insomniac can go without sleep varies widely, but I don't think we've seen a case as extreme as this before."

"Okay. Can I visit him really quick?" Light asked, an underlying layer of plea in his voice.

"I'm sorry, he's asleep, so you're not allowed to see him right now, since he needs to rest. You can visit him tomorrow, though," the nurse replied. "Also, Watari is on his way right now, and although he too is not allowed to visit Ryuzaki, he did say that he wants to speak with you.

No sooner than the nurse had finished speaking was when an elderly man slammed the door open and burst into the room, wheezing and out of breath. He panted for a few seconds, and he breathed out, "I'm Watari..." He panted some more. "You must be Light, a pleasure to finally meet you." Watari broke out into a minor coughing fit, but just as Light extended his hand to help, this man who was presumably named Watari caught his breath.

"Don't worry, I'm fine, it's just that I can't run around like I used to," Watari gave out one last cough, and he gave Light's already extended hand a firm shake.

"Oh, hello," Light remembered that when Ryuzaki hacked into the national database to call him, a man named Watari introduced himself about three minutes into the call and claimed to be Ryuzaki's fatherly figure.

"Is it true?" Light asked after he tucked his hand back to his side.

"Is what true?" Watari quirked up an eyebrow.

"What you said when Ryuzaki called me, are you really his fatherly figure?" Light rephrased his question so that Watari would know what he was talking about.

"Oh, that, yes, in a way, you can say that. We are not related by blood, but we are much like father and son," Watari replied. Light couldn't determine what made him develop such a liking to Watari right away, but something about Watari made Light feel at ease. Watari just seemed like a nice guy who's eyes smiled as well as his mouth, and in a way, Watari felt like a grandfather, so it wasn't a stretch to say that Watari was Ryuzaki's fatherly figure.

"The nurse said we can't visit Ryuzaki while he sleeps, and since he fell back asleep right after waking up, neither of us will be able to visit him for now," Light informed.

"Yes, the doctor told me that when the hospital called me," Watari sighed. "What a shame, at least this will teach Ryuzaki that he actually needs sleep. I've been extremely concerned about Ryuzaki. You see, Ryuzaki uses his insomnia as a kind of scapegoat for him not sleeping, but I know it's not just that; he's also swamped in work. The stress is finally getting to him, and I've tried to get Ryuzaki to rest more, but Ryuzaki's is as stubborn as ever, I'm afraid."

"Yeah, I freaked out when he fainted," Light nodded, his tone a bit somber. "I'm worried about him, too. I've only known him for a short while, but every time I see him, he has bags under his eyes and looks really, really tired."

"Agreed," Watari turned to the nurse, who was still standing in the room. "When do you expect for Ryuzaki to be discharged?"

"Um, it depends. It can be as soon as tomorrow, once he rests up and we determine that nothing is wrong with him, but if there is some underlying thing that is going on with him, he may have to stay longer," the nurse turned around to leave. "You are welcome to come tomorrow to see him, and I wish the both of you a good night." He then yawned and exited the room, his footsteps bouncing around in the walls of the hallway as he did so.

"Well then, I guess you'd be going home by now?" Watari questioned. "I'm staying here, until Ryuzaki wakes up. I want to be there for him once he's conscious."

"I'm planning on stay until he wakes up, too. He's my friend, and I want to make sure that he's okay. I can't sleep at night knowing that he's in this condition," Light eyed the hallway that lead to Ryuzaki's hospital room.

"That's very considerate of you, your parents have raised you well," Watari smiled and winked. "Although, I suggest that we both get some coffee. It could be a while before Ryuzaki wakes up. He rarely sleeps, but when he does, he often goes into a very deep sleep, and there aren't a lot of things that can wake him when he's in that state."

Light and Watari shared a little laugh about Watari's comment concerning coffee, and Light walked to the door of the room, "You're probably right about the coffee. Want to go to the cafeteria with me? There's probably some coffee there."

Watari wordlessly followed, and out they went. After a long and slightly awkward elevator ride to the ground-level floor, Light and Watari found themselves walking in one of the hospital's many long, spiraling hallways. It took a while before a proper conversation started, but once Light sparked up the potential for a chat when he asked Watari what it was like caring for Ryuzaki, they talked for much longer than they realized.

As they strolled to the cafeteria, Watari said, "Caring for and living with Ryuzaki is certainly interesting, I have to say, but I care deeply for Ryuzaki. He's like the child I never had."

"Really?" Light wanted to know more.

He and Watari found a place that sold overpriced coffee in the hospital cafeteria, and they sat down on one of the many round-tables that lined the cafeteria in rows. The tables were oak, had a black plastic rim, and six blue chairs were paired with each of the tables. Light and Watari sat down next to each other, and talking to Watari was like talking to an old friend that you've known for forever. Watari just knew how to make people feel comfortable, and Light wondered how the odd pair of Watari and Ryuzaki came about.

"Yes, I never got married or had children, unlike many other people, and I have to admit, it was rather lonely before Ryuzaki," Watari took a sip out of the small paper cup his coffee was in. Light did the same and took a few extra seconds to really appreciate the caffeine. He really didn't know what he would do without it, as coffee was what had saved him when he was still in college and had to stay up late to do homework.

"So when did you meet Ryuzaki?" Light asked.

"When he was eight," Watari replied with a tone that conveyed his fondness for Ryuzaki. He leaned back and smiled.

"What about his parents?" Light inquired, completely unaware of how painful L's childhood was. At this, Watari hesitated. He took a nervous sip of coffee and twitched, and Light raised his eyebrow in curiosity. "Does he have a strained relationship with them?"

"Not quite," Watari toyed around with the collar of his shirt. "It's something... more complicated than that, something much deeper, and I wish to respect Ryuzaki's privacy, if you don't mind."

"Oh, I don't mind at all, everyone has aspects of their life that they want to keep private," Light wanted to know more, but he also respected the fact that Ryuzaki probably didn't want for him and Watari to be discussing the topic of his parents. Heck, Light had a relatively normal family, and he sometimes wanted to keep his life with his family private.

"I'm pretty sure he'll tell you once he's ready," Watari reassured Light. "He just needs time."

"Okay," Light probed his brain for another point of conversation, one that didn't lead back to the topic of Ryuzaki's parents. "Watari, what did you mean when you said that taking care of Ryuzaki is interesting?"

"For one thing," Watari began, a smile tugging at the corners of his mouth. "Ryuzaki has an... um, let's just say... unique sleeping schedule, as you might've noticed. He goes for ridiculously long periods of time without sleeping, but even with that in mind, I was starting to get very concerned for him after he went a week and a half without any proper rest. I've tried everything short of putting sleeping medication in his tea, as that might do more harm than good. I even at one point threatened to withhold his sweets if he didn't go to sleep, and while that might've gotten him into bed, he stayed awake for the entire duration of the night, or at least until I fell asleep. Knowing him, though, he most likely used the fact that I sleep much more than he does to his advantage in order to sneak out and do some additional work. When I woke up the next day, I found a box of chocolates that wasn't supposed to be there laying on the floor and Ryuzaki sitting in a chair, typing on his computer."

"Any other ways you've tried to get him to sleep?" Light wanted to hear what other methods Watari had tried to get Ryuzaki to sleep more.

"Let's see," Watari thought for a moment, his eyes filled with a hint of laughter. "I stole his laptop once and locked it away until the next day, and I had hoped that Ryuzaki would eventually get bored and fall asleep. That didn't work, because Ryuzaki just stayed up all night, as usual, and simply thought about whatever case he was working on at the time, storing all of his musings in his head rather than on his computer. I also went through a time where I played classical music throughout the place we used to live in, because I heard somewhere that classical music relaxes the brain. That proved as ineffective. And once, during a particularly serious case Ryuzaki was working on, I baked extra cherries into his cakes because I read someplace on the internet that they make you sleepy. I'm not sure if what that article said was true, but I was desperate."

He and Light started laughing, and Light tried to picture Watari stealing Ryuzaki's laptop to get him to sleep. Their snickers echoed throughout the huge, empty room, and both of them were too caught up in laughing to be able to talk, snorts and laughter from the two of them taking a while to die down. It took a few minutes, but they finally managed to calm down, and they resumed talking.

"I see," Light gulped down the last of his coffee, and he stared into his empty cup. "Can I suggest a method to get Ryuzaki to sleep more?"

"Anything, I'm all ears," Watari's cup was empty by now, too. Just how long had they been talking?

"I'm not sure about Ryuzaki, but it works for me," Light stood up to throw away his cup, and he offered to throw away Watari's cup, too. Watari stacked his cup on top of Light's, and Light spoke as he walked, him having to raise his volume as he got further away from Watari.

Light continued to explain his method of falling asleep, "When I was in college, my sleep schedule got slightly disrupted, so when I needed to sleep, I often couldn't. So, one night, while I was trying to fall asleep, I was clicking through some TV channels to find something of interest. I know it sounds counterproductive, since TV can inhibit your ability to sleep, but this one time, I stumbled upon a... particularly boring documentary. I usually love to watch them, but what I didn't know at the time was that it was a six hour long documentary about grass growing. I was out cold within five minutes. I play that documentary whenever I have trouble falling asleep now, and I know it sounds kind of dumb, but it really works. Maybe pretend to be interested in it and watch it before bedtime, and you and Ryuzaki will be out of consciousness before you realize it. I'll send you a copy, too."

"That could work, who knows?" Watari shrugged. "And since it's six hours long, maybe the effect will carry over long enough for Ryuzaki to get an adequate amount of sleep. It would be a dream if he slept for six hours!"

"If you try it, tell me if it works or not. I want Ryuzaki to sleep more as much as you do, plus I want to see if that documentary is effective on other people," Light requested. Light sat back down, and he and Watari sat in a comfortable silence, although Light wasn't exactly sure how he and Watari ended up talking about this boring documentary that helped Light fall asleep.

Light fiddled around a bit with his thumbs, still quite a bit concerned for Ryuzaki, but he couldn't do much right now.

A little while later, he remembered that he needed to text his parents. He didn't want them to get worried because he was out so late, so after a quick text saying that he wouldn't be able to make it to their house because Ryuzaki was still unconscious, he set his phone back into his pocket and resumed talking to Watari.

"So how do you think tomorrow will go for you and Ryuzaki, since Ryuzaki is passed out right now?" Light questioned.

"Ryuzaki was planning to work on some cases tomorrow, but I think I'm going to force him to rest for the next few days. He's been overworking himself for so long, and I've always worried about his health since he doesn't seem to be concerned about the negative consequences of the sleep deficit he constantly has," Watari sighed.

Light nodded. He was just as worried as Watari was. After all, he had just seen Ryuzaki pass out randomly in the middle of a grocery store. "Exactly how do you plan to get him to rest? From what I've seen and heard from you, he's pretty stubborn when it comes to how much he sleeps," Light wondered out loud. After hearing about the many times Watari had tried (and failed) to get Ryuzaki to sleep, he couldn't help but wonder what Watari was planning to do in order to get Ryuzaki to rest.

"From what the nurses and doctors told me, Ryuzaki will most likely be too drowsy for the next few days to even stay awake for over ten minutes, so that problem is settled. We'll see what happens from there, though," Watari gave out a kind, friendly chuckle.

"Oh, I have one more question," Light had been wondering this ever since the nurse mentioned that Ryuzaki had insomnia. "Is Ryuzaki getting the proper treatment for his insomnia? His case looks pretty serious."

"We've tried, but it hasn't worked," Watari slumped in his seat, the look on his face turning dejected, probably because he didn't want to see Ryuzaki suffer like this. Then, Watari stood up, pushing in his chair after he rose, "We should probably go to the waiting room again. You never know when Ryuzaki's going to wake. He can be unpredictable sometimes."

"That's probably a good idea," Light got up as well, and he followed Watari out of the cafeteria and into the elevator. It was going to be a long night, but it was worth it, because Light just had to be there for Ryuzaki just in case he woke. He didn't care that he would feel like garbage the next day; Ryuzaki was his friend, and Light was determined to show Ryuzaki that he genuinely cared.

* * *

Light hadn't expected this. Even though he was supposed to get a day off on Sunday, emphasis on the words "supposed to", he often worked overtime, so he had stopped bothering to try to relax on Sundays a long time ago. Nine times out of ten, he would get a call from work requesting his presence, and with a particularly difficult serial killer case on the NPA's hands, it was pretty much a guarantee that he would be working on a Sunday, sometimes even on a Saturday. Even with that in mind, though, he, as expected, felt like crap, and he wasn't sure how productive he would be at work today.

He had only arrived at his apartment an hour ago, him being regretful that he had to leave Ryuzaki, and he was expecting a call from the NPA requesting that he show up today, but when that call finally came, what he was told surprised him. His phone had been sitting in his lap, Light patiently waiting for the phone to ring. It did, and someone from his work had called. They went on for a little while, both of them asking how each other's weekend went, but when the coworker got to the purpose of the call, what they said caught Light off-guard.

"Wait, I have the next few days off...?" Light went from pacing around the living room to sitting on his green couch, and his voice dripped with confusion. He bit back a yawn, and he slumped into the soft cushions of his sofa. _"This better not be a prank,"_ Light thought. Although, he couldn't say that he wasn't relieved. He didn't get any sleep last night, and he was used to getting at least seven to eight hours, maybe sometimes even nine if he went to bed early enough.

"Yeah," the person on the other end of the line replied. "I'm just as surprised as you are, but apparently, L's been in poor health, and he wants to pause the investigation for a few days, until he gets better. It's probably a cold or something."

"Okay," Light didn't know what to say, so he waited for his coworker to say goodbye.

"See you in a few days," his coworker hung up, and Light put his phone on the small glass table in front of him.

Then, a thought made its way into his head. _"Hey, why not visit Ryuzaki? I'm already dressed and ready anyway,"_ the idea didn't sound half bad. He was forced to leave the hospital because he was expecting to be called in for work, but after the unexpected day off, he might as well. Excitement for seeing Ryuzaki built up in him, his lack of sleep forgotten. Then, another thought struck him.

 _"Hold on, isn't it kind of weird that L's out on the same day Ryuzaki's out, too? And both L and Ryuzaki are detectives... no, it can't be, I'm probably overthinking this, yeah, that's probably it,"_ despite what he was telling himself, though, Light did still have his suspicions, but he thought that it would amount to nothing. Oh how very wrong he was.

* * *

Earlier, he called Ryuzaki to inform him that he had the day off. Watari, unsurprisingly, was the one who answered the phone, since Ryuzaki was most likely still sleeping. Light had asked if it was okay for him to come over, and Watari said yes. Watari also told Light that they were staying in a hotel room, and he texted Light the address. Light thought it was odd that they were staying in a hotel room and not their house, but maybe they lived far away or something.

What he didn't expect, though, was that Watari and Ryuzaki were staying in a luxury hotel.

There he was, rubbing his tired eye, holding a cake he had bought for Ryuzaki, and standing in front of a large skyscraper. It was... Light scanned the tower and counted that it was thirty-six stories tall. There was a ramp leading up to a door that had two people dressed in uniform standing on either side of it, but what really blew Light away as he entered was the lobby. It was huge, most likely ten to fifteen meters tall! He'd only seen a place like this in pictures. There were leather couches in the center of a massive, ornate rug, which sat on top of tiles so well cleaned that you could see your reflection in them. Fake plants hung off of and sat on different surfaces, and they were all meticulously arranged. Gold and silver orbs used for decoration dangled off the ceiling by thin wires that you could barely see, and to top it all off, the receptionist desk stretched from one end of the lobby to the other. It was made of oak wood, and hotel employees lined the desk.

 _"Wait... Watari never told me which floor Ryuzaki is on..."_ Light realized, clutching the cake closer to him. He looked around for a bit, and just as he was about to call Ryuzaki's phone (although Watari was the one most likely to answer it) to ask which floor their room was on, Light noticed the outline of a familiar figure waiting for him. That figure had grayish-white hair, a small pair of glasses, and he wore the same suit as the one he did when Light left him at the hospital.

The figure was leaning against the wall of a hallway located near the back of the lobby, probably to draw attention away from himself. When the figure eyed Light, he signaled for Light to come over, and Light did as the figure requested.

When Light entered the hallway, he smiled and pleasantly greeted, "Hi Watari, it's nice to see you again, even though it's only been an hour an a half or so since the last time we parted ways."

"Yes, lovely to see you again, Light, but do you mind if we talk a little later, when we're in mine and Ryuzaki's room? We can't be out here in the open for too long," Watari turned around, and Light followed him down the elegantly wallpapered hallway. The hallway was different from the lobby. For one thing, the lobby had cream-colored walls, while the wallpaper here was gold and red. There was also dark green carpet rather than tile, and dim lamps aligned the walls.

Light didn't take all of that in, though. He was confused by what Watari had said. What did Watari mean that they couldn't be out in the open for too long? Sure, Ryuzaki appeared to be kind of reclusive, but it wasn't like he would die if someone caught him in public for too long... right...?

 _"You're just being silly, Light. Calm down, it's probably just that Ryuzaki doesn't like to be noticed. But still, it's kind of strange. First, Ryuzaki is out the same day L is, and both of them are expected to be not feeling well for around the same time-frame. Then there's the fact that Ryuzaki and Watari can afford a place like this, even if they are planning on only staying one night, which probably isn't true because Ryuzaki needs to rest. Then there's what Watari said about not being able to stick around for too long. It all just doesn't add up... And Ryuzaki's name... I just don't like the way it rolls off my tongue. It's not that Ryuzaki's a bad name... it just doesn't seem to fit with Ryuzaki, and whether he notices this or not, there's always a split second period before he and Watari say that name, as if they're hesitating,"_ Light would've continued his train of thought, but he was interrupted when he and Watari suddenly stopped.

"Come," Watari guided Light into the elevator.

Light nodded and followed, and he ended up standing on the left side of the elevator with Watari on the right. They were facing each other as the elevator doors closed, and Light leaned on the handlebars that lined the inside of the elevator. Light looked around, still awestruck by his surroundings. "I didn't expect for you and Ryuzaki to be staying here..." Light commented. "Are you sure Ryuzaki even wants to see me? I mean, when I left the hospital, he was still out cold."

"Don't worry, he's already awoken, although he is probably going to remain groggy for the next few days. As soon as he woke, though, he asked where he was and where you were," Watari responded. He smiled at Light that reassuring smile of his, and that smile relaxed Light by the tiniest bit.

"Okay," Light took a deep breath. He gripped tighter onto the cake he was holding, and Watari eyed the cake.

"What's in that box?" Watari pointed to the small pink box that held the cake.

"It's strawberry shortcake. I've seen that Ryuzaki likes sweets, so I thought he'd like some cake. Although, I'm not sure which type of cake is his favorite, so I just settled on strawberry shortcake," Light tilted the box towards Watari so that the older man could see it better.

"He quite likes strawberry shortcake," Watari gave an approving grin.

"I was hoping that he does," Light chuckled, and before he knew it, the elevator sounded with a soft _ding!_ that chimed melodically through the closed quarters.

"Looks like we're almost to the room," Watari was the first to exit the contraption that had lifted them up to this floor, and Light wasn't too far behind. They went down a few winding halls, and Light kept a tight hold on the strawberry shortcake.

Soon, they reached a room that was tucked away in a far corner of the hotel, and Watari took the key and opened the door.

When the door opened, Light poked his head in, curiosity written all over his features. He let his jaw hang for a few seconds, but he closed it soon after. He didn't want to appear as rude and have his jaw slacked open like that.

Light could tell that this room wasn't just an ordinary room in the hotel, as luxurious as the other ones were. It wasn't just one room, either, it was a multi-room suite, and it had two separate bedrooms, a kitchen, and a main room. It was more like an upscale apartment than a hotel room, actually, and it was definitely bigger than Light's apartment. That didn't mean that he wasn't content living in his own apartment, though. He was fortunate to have a nice home in a nice part of town, and he was lucky enough to have gotten a job straight out of college.

"Whoa..." was all Light could say. "If you don't mind me asking, how did you afford a place like this? I'd have to save up money for forever before I could stay here for even one night."

"Ryuzaki's work is in very high demand right now. I'm assuming that you already know that Ryuzaki is a detective, but did you know that Ryuzaki is a freelance detective? He isn't bound by a specific organization, so he gets cases from all over the world," Watari explained.

"I didn't know that he's a freelance detective. That's probably why I never saw him at work," Light said, still processing the information Watari gave him.

"He told me that you're working with L," Watari suddenly stated.

After realizing what Watari said, Light nodded, "Yeah, I am, Ryuzaki asked me what it's like working with L."

"Yes, about that. Ryuzaki has something very important concerning the subject of L," the friendly tone Watari had used earlier was gone, and it was replaced by one that was solemn and serious.

"What is it?" Light lifted his eyebrow, a little confused and worried at the same time about the sudden shift in Watari's voice.

"Ryuzaki, since he is seeking out your friendship, has decided to disclose a very important detail about him. Do you swear on your life that you will not tell a soul? Not even your own family? If this information gets out, Ryuzaki will be in grave danger. There are many, many people who want him dead, and promise me and Ryuzaki that you will not make Ryuzaki regret his decision," Watari beat the bush around slightly, but Light knew that he would get to the point soon enough.

"I promise," Light gave a firm nod. He would never go back on his promises, he knew it, but he was thrown off when Watari told him that a lot of people wanted Ryuzaki dead. Ryuzaki was just a detective, why would-

 _"It can't be..."_ Light thought. But it made sense. Ryuzaki's antisocial behavior, how his name didn't roll off Light's tongue well, how Ryuzaki wasn't working on the same day L was out. "Ryuzaki is-"

"Yes, I'm glad that you figured it out," Watari nodded, and he closed the door to the hotel room after entering himself. "Ryuzaki was right, you are an intelligent young man, and you're also an intelligent young man whom Ryuzaki trusts, probably more than anyone other than me. You're a detective, so he hopes that you are good at keeping secrets. He wants to inform you that... Ryuzaki wants to inform you that he is L."

And in that very moment, Light's world stopped, even his heartbeat and breathing. The suspicion had always been there in the back of his mind, but to hear someone say it... to have those musings in the back of his head conformed... it was almost too much. _Almost._ With his breath hitched in his throat, Light first focused on trying to be able to breath again. He didn't want to be suffocated to death just because someone had told him that Ryuzaki was actually L.

 _The_ _L_. The greatest detective in the world L. Light never thought that he would ever meet L in person, much less meet him on three separate occasions if you didn't count this one. Then, a question made its way into his head, and it made his heart sink.

"Watari, was L just using me to get more information about the case...?" Light asked, his voice on the edge of breaking. He thought that he had finally found a friend, but the possibility of this very _friend_ using him _was_ too much for him to take. He had hoped that he and Ryu- sorry, he and _L_ , had something genuine.

"Of course not," Watari's voice lost that professional, serious edge, and now he sounded like a grandfather trying to comfort his upset grandchild. "L is a very lonely man, so the prospect of him obtaining friendship delights me. It's just that since you've opened up so much, L thought that he'd do the same. If he never told you, then it'd be a friendship built on lies, and those types of friendships never go anywhere."

Light was having a very hard time believing this. He wanted to make sure that this wasn't some sort of joke, so he asked, "Is there any proof that Ryuzaki is actually L? I don't want to be walking into a trap or a cruel practical joke."

"I understand that you feel that way," Watari agreed. Out of nowhere, he pulled out a laptop, and on that laptop were countless recordings. Watari opened one of them, and footage from a meeting room played, more specifically, the meeting room _Light_ was in just a few days ago!

 _"This meeting is classified information... and the only way for someone other than an NPA detective to acquire this footage is for them to be..."_ "So he really is L..." Light could barely believe it right now. "I must be dreaming..."

"I assure you that you're fully awake," Watari informed Light. "Please don't let this information change your opinion of Ryuzaki or the way you treat him. Please..." Watari's lowered his voice so that L, who was probably in one of the bedrooms, wouldn't hear. "Please, L desperately needs a friend. Please don't let all of this change your opinion of him. L would be heartbroken if you interacted with him differently because he revealed to you his actual identity. As someone who considers L to be his own son, I don't want to see my son's heart break, even if he doesn't know that his heart had gotten broken by someone he thought he could call his friend."

"Don't worry, I still want to be his friend," Light smiled. He used to think that something like this would change things, but surprisingly... it didn't... It was then Light realized that if you truly wanted to be someone's friend, your opinion of them wouldn't change, no matter what they reveal to you. Light still thought of Ryu- L, as a quirky, cute detective who had an affinity for sugar and was someone who could challenge him for once. L was still that strange, interesting man he had met three weeks ago, and knowing that Ryuzaki trusted him enough to tell Light this secret made Light feel elated.

"Well, now that you haven't run off, let me show you to where Ryuzaki is," Watari grabbed hold of the cake Light was previously carrying. "I hope you don't mind if I carry this cake for you."

"Not at all, thanks," Light's head was still fuzzy from being told that he was in the world's greatest detective's hotel room, but nevertheless, he still saw L as Ryuzaki. He couldn't care less if L was the world's greatest detective or an average person with a nine to five desk job, Ryuzaki was so intriguing, so unique, a particularly special snowflake in a sea of endless dots of snow, if you will. Watari lead Light into one of the bedrooms, and there, Light saw one of the cutest sights ever.

Ryuzaki was laying there on his side, curled up into a little ball, and a thick blanket wrapped around him like wrapping paper. Ryuzaki had his thumb partially in his mouth, and he was snoring softly. The bags under his eyes were still there, as it would take more than one intense bout of sleep to make up for all the sleep debt he had, but Light enjoyed the sight of Ryuzaki/L sleeping (he didn't know whether to call him L or Ryuzaki at this point).

Soon, the panda-eyed man started stirring in his bed. He was in the middle of yawning and stretching when he noticed one extra person in the room.

"Oh, look's like you've fallen asleep again," Watari commented, earning a groan from L. L then stared Light up and down, probably because he was trying to determine what he was going to say. A few moments later, he spoke, "Light... I- I'm sorry for keeping this from you... it's just that-"

"No worries," Light waved his hand to signal how genuine his words were. "I still want to be your friend."

L sighed in relief, and he invited Light to come sit with him by patting the spot on the bed next to him, "Would you like to sit with me?"

"Yeah, sure," Light plopped down next to L, and Watari went off to another room, still carrying the cake he had taken from Light.

"Light brought you a cake, so I'll go and slice it up," Watari exited the room.

L and Light eyed each other, and L asked, his voice more shy than Light was used to, "Light, I know Watari doesn't really want me to think about the case at this very moment, but could we talk about it for a little while? I know you're stressed about it, too, but it's been weighting on my head for a while now."

"Of course, I hope we can make some progress," Light replied. He leaned in a little closer to Ryuzaki/L than he realized, not that either of them minded as far as Light could tell. "Hey, do you want for me to call you Ryuzaki or L?"

"Either one is okay in private, but if we are ever in public, please call me Ryuzaki," L answered.

"Makes sense," Light thought for a while. "Is it okay if I just call you Ryuzaki?"

"Not a problem," L gave a small smile, and Light thought that tiny smile was plain adorable as it chased away any of his remaining sleepiness.

 _"Maybe referring to Ryuzaki as cute isn't so out of the question..."_ Light decided. _"He really is adorable when he smiles like that."_

* * *

 **Okay, well, I decided for Light to find out that Ryuzaki is L because I just wanted to get it out of the way first. The thing is, I don't feel too comfortable with writing about the relationship between them if Light doesn't find out that Ryuzaki is L. He's going to find out eventually, anyway, and if their friendship is built on Ryuzaki lying about his true identity, I don't think it can get very far. Sorry if it was too sudden and if Light's reaction wasn't what you had hoped, but it's basically a setup for the rest of the chapters.**

 **Sorry if this chapter was kind of boring, too, because this chapter is basically, as I said earlier, just something to set up the rest of the story.**

 **See you next chapter. :)**


	10. Damn Does it Sting

**Chapter 10: Damn Does it Sting**

 **Warning: I have a nasty case of writer's block right now and have re-written this chapter... I think four times so far, so sorry if this chapter is pretty sub-par compared to the other ones.**

 **This is a one month time skip from last chapter, just to let you know.**

* * *

Light was in a rather odd situation at the moment. He was on the couch, inside of his apartment, wearing the loose button-down shirt and sweatpants he usually wore when it was time for him to sleep, and sipping a steaming cup of chamomile tea. He drank the beverage that allegedly relaxed you and helped you when catching some sleep was difficult, and with every gulp, a hot, soothing stream of tea rushed down his throat. Light finished off the chamomile tea, and the last of the drink settled into his stomach, were he could feel the sensation of warm, pooling tea collect at the pit.

He had his TV on, and he was watching that boring documentary about grass growing, the documentary he always watched when he urgently needed to sleep. As odd as it seemed, this documentary lulled him off to sleep nearly every time he saw it. This, unfortunately, was _not_ one of those times. Honestly, who the hell could stay awake through a film as boring as a time-lapsed recording of grass growing?! Well, Light apparently could, or at least on this particular night.

He hated this. He hated not knowing why he couldn't sleep, and he hated not being able to sleep in the first place. Light stared at his empty teacup, hoping that the sleepy effects of the tea would kick in soon, and tried his best to listen to the TV blaring in the background of his head. Light turned around to face the wall that was behind him, where his clock hung, and he glowered at the clock, almost expecting it to respond to his glare in some shape, way, or form. The clock read twelve-thirty at night. Of course, with the clock being a clock, the time-telling device had no reaction to Light's frustration.

Light turned his attention back to the television. He debated over whether or not he should make more chamomile tea, but he decided against it. Even though chamomile tea had no caffeine, it wasn't doing much to help Light fall asleep. Giving up on trying to get some rest, Light reached for the remote control and turned off the TV, the young adult accepting the fact that he would probably be a groggy, tired mess tomorrow.

Standing up from the couch, Light had his teacup cradled within his hands, and he made his way to the kitchen of his apartment. He gently set the cup in the sink, and determining that tonight would be a restless one, there was no point in procrastinating with washing the teacup. He turned on the faucet, rinsed the cup under some warm water, and poured some soap onto the cup. After running some more water on it, Light turned the sink off, dried the single object he had washed with a kitchen towel, and put away the cup into his designated cup cabinet.

 _"Since I'm not getting any sleep tonight anyway, what else can I do?"_ Light thought to himself. There must've been something he could do to kill time until the morning. Leaning against the kitchen counter, Light pondered over what he could do in order to distract himself from the sleepless night he was having. He paced around for a little while, and he pulled his phone out of his pocket to check it.

Ever since he exchanged phone numbers with L, L, being someone with a bizarre sleeping schedule, would text Light at odd times of the night, so Light scrolled through his phone to check if L had sent him a message. Sure enough, L had texted him earlier. L would mostly text Light about whatever deductions he had about that murder case he, Light, and the NPA were investigating, and the texting would go from there, each of them giving feedback on the other's deductions.

The conversation would often escalate as well, with Light scolding L about how he should take better care of himself. Light would even point out the bout of fainting L had a month ago, and L would admit defeat and say that he was going to go to bed. For some reason, whenever L said that he was going to get some sleep, it relieved Light ever so slightly, even if Light knew that L was probably fibbing just to get Light off his case. Still, just hearing the possibility of L getting some much deserved rest did wonders to calm Light's nerves, since Light had been consistently concerned about L ever since he suddenly collapsed at the grocery store.

Light slumped his shoulders, then smiled, him having an odd sense of comfort knowing that he actually had someone he could worry about. They had only known each other for a brief two months, but he could already call L his friend, which was new for him. Sure, he knew countless people and was rather popular, but he didn't really have someone whom he could call a friend until L showed up. He would hang out with some people, and Sayu would even set an oblivious Light up for a blind date every once in a while, much to Light's annoyance, but L was the first person that Light could call an actual, true friend.

He was himself around L, and the figurative mask he wore whenever he was around others was always lifted when it was just him and L. It was funny, really, because before all of this, Light had thought that his mask would be laid on even thicker if he ever got the chance to met L in person, but it was the exact opposite. Around L, Light joked around, was kind of silly, and non-verbally admitted to probably, maybe having a bit of an ago, not that L appeared to mind. They would even borderline flirt, and for some odd reason, Light really, really liked it. As in, really, really liked it, and he didn't know why.

Light sighed, shaking his head as he recalled a particularly playful conversation they had a few days ago, and he read what L had typed. He was expecting for L to just update him on the murder case by texting Light a few more of his deductions, but... something more... interesting was typed in the text-box, causing for Light to widen his eyes for a split second. It wasn't anything strange, it just wasn't what Light was expecting.

 _"Light,"_ the text read. _"How are you?~"_

Light raised his eyebrow, a little confused by what L had said. Sure, it didn't sound too unusual, but he knew for a fact that L wasn't the type of person to ask someone how they were. The only reason for him to ask someone how they were at all was if he was messing with them, trying to squeeze a reaction out of someone. L had told Light this in one of their previous conversations. He had told Light that when he interrogated suspects through an intercom, he would ask them how they were, just to unnerve them.

 _"What?"_ Light texted back, thinking that L was just being playful. _"Am I a criminal or something? :P"_ Light smirked and chuckled to himself. He didn't know why, but in the rare instances he used emojis and emoticons, they were in texts directed at L, not that he would ever tell him that. Again, he didn't know why. It was probably because he was embarrassed, but Light couldn't figure out the source of this embarrassment.

Light's phone beeped, and Light quickly pulled up the text L had sent him.

 _"Ah, looks like you've caught onto my little joke,"_ was what L's text read. _"But really, I'm not asking you this because I plan to interrogate you and suspect you of being a mass-murderer. I'm just curious as to how you're doing."_

 _"That's new,"_ Light typed as quickly as he could, eager to reply. _"Other than the fact that I can't sleep, I'm doing fine, you?"_ After rereading the message to check for grammatical errors, Light pressed send.

A few moments later, Light's phone buzzed with L's reply, _"Am I keeping you up? I hope I am not intruding on your rest."_

 _"What? No, of course not. I'm just having difficulty sleeping, that's all,"_ L wasn't intruding on Light at all. He thoroughly enjoyed every text message L sent him, and he loved the long, deep chats they always had.

 _"What's causing you to have difficulty falling asleep?"_ L replied.

 _"I don't know,"_ Light grumbled at being reminded that he couldn't figure out why he couldn't sleep tonight, even though he knew that L would never see the annoyance etched on his face at this very moment.

 _"There's not something bothering you, is there?"_ Light was confused by now. Yes, he could tell that L at least cared about him. They texted each other, joked around when in private, and L even invited Light over to his hotel room a couple times, but L wasn't one to ask someone if they were alright, nor did he regularly ask what was bothering someone if they weren't alright. Although, to be fair, L was being his usual self by avoiding the subject of how he was doing.

 _"Nothing's wrong. Don't worry, I'm fine. I'm more worried about you,"_ Light typed back.

 _"Oh, really? You care? ;),"_ Light could practically see L smirk in amusement, as he knew that L was messing with him.

 _"Well, duh, you're my friend,"_ Light rolled his eyes as he texted, and he let a smile escape his lips. _"Although, I was expecting for you to inform me on your current deductions. Or have you run out?"_

 _"You know that my well of deductions will never run dry,"_ L responded.

 _"What, can I have not a bit of fun with you?"_ Light chuckled as he tapped away on his phone.

 _"Yes, you can. But I believe that I enjoy poking fun at you more than you enjoy poking fun at me,"_ L's response speed through texts always surprised Light. Every time Light saw L type on the computer, he only used his two forefingers, which wasn't the most efficient way of typing. Light took a moment to indulge with the thought of how L would type on a phone; he could just imagine L laying the phone down on a table and pressing the keys with his pointer-fingers.

 _"Plus, I was afraid that you were disappointed because I didn't share my deductions. ^-^,"_ L continued.

 _"I'll take your deductions whenever I can get them. If I can't, at least talk to me,"_ Light typed back.

 _"Awww, that's sweet,"_ the comment made Light blush. L was the only person besides his mother who said that he was sweet.

 _"You're probably sweeter with the amount of sugar you eat,"_ Light retorted.

 _"True, true, but your sweetness is comparable to mine, which is impressive. Still, no one can emulate my levels of sweetness, for I believe that no one else can possibly match the amount of cake I put away,"_ L teased.

 _"So humble..."_ Light stuck his tongue out for good measure.

 _"And you are not secretly an egomaniac?"_ L jabbed back.

 _"You have me there,"_ Light shrugged.

 _"Light, I'm quite busy right now, so I must leave you. No nightly deductions tonight, sorry, most likely, though, I will be able to share them with you tomorrow night, if you are not asleep by then, or course,"_ L informed.

 _"Alright, night, and get at least an hour of sleep!"_ Light gave L his inevitable words about how he should sleep more, and he clicked send.

 _"I'll do so for you,"_ L reassured Light.

 _"Now that is sweet,"_ Light cracked a smile.

 _"Okay, love ya, goodnight,"_ L texted, finishing off the message with an emoji consisting of a face blowing a kiss. Light shook his head and chuckled. He had gotten used to texts like that, which provided a fine example of how he and L would borderline flirt. It didn't really weird Light out, though, and he attributed the other's flirting to L being L. He even enjoyed it, which was something new to him, because he had never enjoyed it when his female friends flirted with him, especially through text.

However, Light didn't think much of it, and it even felt, in a way, natural, as if it was meant to be. He sent one final text to L to say goodnight, slid his phone back into his pocket, and with L no longer texting him, he would have to think of another way to entertain himself until morning. He set his hand on his forehead and exhaled. This was going to be a long night.

* * *

L set his phone down after he finished texting Light, and a light shade of pink dusted the skin under his eyes. He raised his hand to his face, and he gently ran his fingers down his cheek to feel the rouge staining it. He started experiencing these fluttery, strange feelings when he first met Light, but at the time, he was foolish enough to assume that they would go away. _He was very, very wrong._ If anything, those feelings had grown stronger, and, as he eyed his phone, L was perplexed at what the hell was happening to him.

 _"Why am I texting to Light that I love him?"_ L asked himself. He wasn't used to all of this socialization, but he understood the implications of saying that he loved someone. There were different types of love, too, or at least according to what he had heard. There was romantic love, familial love, friendship, among others, and the first time L had texted to Light that he loved him, it was an accident. Light, as expected, was kind of confused, and so was L, until L made up an excuse and told Light that since he was used to saying that to Watari, as a way to show that he cared, he let it slip to Light.

It wasn't completely a lie, as telling Watari that he loved him was one of the only ways L could show his caregiver affection due to the fact that L wasn't one to make much physical contact, but he still hadn't gotten over letting it slip to Light that he loved him. L liked Light, liked his company, and was quite fond of him, but _love_?

 _"What does it even mean to love someone?"_ L asked himself. He hooked his thumbnail between his teeth, and he began gnawing on it to help him think. He knew loving someone meant that you cared about them, but other than that, L didn't really have a clue on how to define it.

 _"I'll have to think about that later,"_ he determined. Turning his attention back to the laptop in front of him, L resumed the case he was working on, and he grumbled, frustrated that it was taking so much longer than it normally did to solve it. He originally hoped that this investigation wouldn't exceed a few weeks in length, as he had other cases on a waiting list, ready and waiting to be investigated. L groaned as he felt an oncoming headache, then returned to work.

The sound of him tapping on the keyboard filled the room, and L looked over his shoulder every once in a while, to make sure that he didn't accidentally wake Watari up by his typing. L didn't remotely enjoy the prospect of sleeping, but he knew that everyone else did not agree with his stance on the subject of sleep at all. If anything, most humans reveled in their sleep, everyone always desperate to get more.

L was tired himself, the grogginess in his mind as strong as ever, but that wasn't enough to get him to sleep. L was pretty sure that _nothing_ would get him to sleep more than a few hours a week, even if his poor sleeping habits would cause him ill health in the future. He would give pretty much anything for him to not require sleep, because... because... well, L didn't want to think about it, but no matter how hard he tried to avoid the subject, it always kept creeping up in his subconscious.

 _"Why does my own dad hate me?"_ L thought bitterly. He gritted his teeth, and his muscles tensed. Where was his father now, anyway? Was he even still alive? L didn't want to know. He didn't want to remember. It was too painful, and when he slept, when he was in the one state where he was completely helpless to his thoughts, it reminded him of all the grim things stewing in his mind.

 _"Why can't I stop thinking about him no matter how hard I try?"_ L asked, careful to not let the words slip out of his mouth. Not only would that probably wake Watari, but it would most likely cause for Watari to keep pestering him about the subject as well, which L hated. He didn't want to think, much less talk, about his childhood. He was not, and probably never would be, ready to confront the topic.

Grumbling, the detective attempted to shift his thoughts back to the case, but he couldn't. He mind was a jumbled mess, and the only thing he could think about was his father.

 _"Why? Why, why, why? Why must my own mind be so stubborn?"_ L hissed internally, him being mad at himself that, sometimes, he had no control over what his brain thought about. He forced his hands to type on his laptop, his forefingers gradually spelling out letters, but he just couldn't concentrate on the case. There was no room in his mind for him to think about the case; every region of his brain was taken up by one thought, his past.

In frustration, L threw himself down onto the couch cushions, and he landed face-first after the fall, his screams muffled by the pillow he buried himself in. He flailed his fists around, which was rare because he rarely displayed this type of anger, but he couldn't help it. His thoughts were in chaos, them all racing around him at the speed of sound, and the before mentioned headache loomed over him, ready to strike him at the most inconvenient of times.

L tugged at his hair, him being tempted to pull the strands out, but he decided against it because the last thing he wanted was for Watari to be panicked over why he had pulled his hair out. L swung his legs around, not caring whether the motion of his feet would cause for his laptop to clatter to the ground or not. L continued struggling, not paying attention to how exhausted his limps were growing. He just kept flailing and flinging his body parts around. He needed to get out all this pent-up rage within him. He needed a way to let it all out until the storm inside of him died down, and as much as he would never admit it, it felt kind of satisfying to let it all just hang, to express some sort of emotion.

"Silly emotions," was the last thing L said before his eyelids closed, him being completely unaware of how tired that fit of anger had made him. With that, he drifted off to sleep, fulfilling his promise to Light of getting some shuteye. Although, that didn't stop the nightmares, which were the reason why he hated sleeping so much. They haunted him. Memories and nightmares, they were all the same, and they caused him such misery that he could barely stand to sleep anymore, no matter how dark the bags under his eyes had gotten or how lethargic he felt.

As soon as L left the world of the awake, the horrible, horrible dreams begun.

* * *

 _"L Lawliet! Where the hell are you?!" the voice, even though it was no longer shouting, still lingered in the air, and it was filled with nothing but anger and animosity. L was hiding under the torn, dirty bed that his father slept on, and it was in such a need for repair that springs were sticking out of it. For L, though, he didn't even have a bed, and would sleep on random surfaces throughout the house._

 _Shaking and scared out of his mind, L was curled up in his usual crouch, his tiny body being small enough to fit in the narrow space underneath the bed. He bit down harshly on his lip, to prevent a whimper from escaping his mouth, and silent tears dripped down his face. He couldn't take another beating now, not now when his father was drunk. Drunken beatings always hurt the most, and the small child was perfectly aware that even if he was able to escape, the sting of his father's slaps to the face and the pain of the bloody punches would always remain, always be there to torment him no matter how many years had gone by._

 _He silently wished and begged to every single god, lord, and deity out there that somehow, someway, the pain would end. He didn't care how it would end, either. Whether it be by death or by running away or by someone finding him, he didn't care; all he cared about was if he could go running and screaming away from this life or not._

 _'Daddy, why don't you love me?' L pondered, his tiny hands wiping tears away from his eyes, which were red and puffy from crying. 'What did I do to you?'_

 _L shivered because the house he lived in had a heating unit that was either broken or shut off because his father hadn't paid the heating bill, and he needed warmth badly. He pulled his legs closer to his chest, rocking himself back and forth to calm his nerves. Unfortunately, the rocking did nothing, and L soon stopped moving in fear that his father would notice the movement._

 _"L, come out wherever you are! You can't hide forever! You made daddy very, very angry with you tonight, and you know what happens when I'm angry, don't you?!" that was what L thought his father had said, but he wasn't one-hundred-percent sure. His dad's voice was slurred, a telltale sign of his drinking, and L heard several crashes and thumps, probably from his father drunkenly stumbling around._

 _At least none of his father's drinking buddies were in the house right now. With them around, things would get really awful, as three pairs of fists would hurt more than one._

 _His heart beating so fast that he was paranoid that his father would hear it, L brought his thumb to his lips and started chewing on and around the nail, and he nibbled on it until it started bleeding. Trying his best to swallow the hiss of pain rising in his throat, L forced his trembling muscles to stay still. Maybe if he stayed here the whole night, daddy wouldn't notice him, and this could be dealt with in the morning, when his father was sober. The beating would still hurt, but not as much, and that was good enough for L._

 _The smell of alcohol tainted the air, producing a foul, putrid stench, or at least the smell was revolting to L. The smell reminded L of his father, of how his father was much, much more violent than usual when intoxicated, and L had sworn a long time ago that he would never touch alcohol, much less drink it. He didn't want to become a constantly drunk, child-beating man, the man who his dad was._

 _He knew that when he got older, he would vomit from just the smell of beer. L hated alcohol so much, hated what it did to people, hated how it ruined people's lives, but he wasn't talking about the drinking habits of most people, because most people would only have the occasional drink now and again to socialize. That, he didn't mind. What he did detest, though, was how much his father drank, detested how much misery it had brought onto his life._

 _There was the sound of someone turning a doorknob, and L perked up a bit. The click was followed by a loud, ear-shattering slam, and L waited. And waited. And waited. There was no sound, none at all. He had done it! His father was gone, at least for now, and he could safely travel through his own home. Crawling from his hiding spot underneath the bed, L winced due to his muscles being contorted in such a position for so long. It didn't matter, though, he wouldn't get a beating tonight, and for that, he was grateful._

 _Relief washed over him, and L, who was tripping every few steps because his legs were numb from being in that tight space for so long, made his way into the kitchen. He looked around, hoping that there was something to eat, and he shyly walked over to the fridge, his steps careful and slow because he was scared that his dad would come bursting in at any moment. The front door to the house remained unopened, though, and L felt elated that he had the whole night to himself._

 _Opening the fridge, L peered into it to take a look at its contents, but he closed it in disappointment. There were only beer cans and wine bottles, and he wouldn't drink that stuff if his life depended on it. Giving out a dissatisfied sigh, he closed the door._

 _L pressed his back against the fridge, feeling his shoulder-blades, spine, and ribs poking the surface he was leaning on, and he slid down the refrigerator door, rubbing his arms because of the chilliness of the autumn night. It was so rare that his father left him alone like this, so he would have to make good use of this time. He rested his chin on his knees, which were now pulled up so that they were close to his chest, and he looked out the kitchen window, which showed that it was raining and thundering outside._

 _There were rumbles and moans, as if all the sounds of a storm were mixed into one big, groaning pot, and L did his best to put on his brave face as the storm drew nearer._

 _Lightning cackled through the sky, a bang of thunder not too far behind, causing for L to jump and squeal. He darted out of the kitchen and into the bathroom, where he slammed the door shut with a loud crack. Frightened of whatever monsters that might've been roaming through the rain, through the pitter-patter of droplets and booms of lightning, L fiddled with the lock in false hope that it was fixed. As expected, though, the lock to the bathroom door remained broken, and, while sitting down, he pressed all his weight against the wall just as more thunder came crashing down._

 _L jumped again, his startled and rattled mind hyper-aware of every sound, every flash of lightning, every clap of thunder around him, and he curled up into a little ball with his face in his hands. L was an intelligent child, and his understanding of things was far beyond his years, but he was still a child, a child who was afraid of lightning and thunder and storms. Wind scraped against the brick of the house, making L afraid that the house would be blown down even if he knew that was irrational, and the rain poured down so hard that it sounded like giants up in the sky were dropping down buckets of water._

 _Werewolves, giants, goblins, ghouls, the rain made it sound like all these monsters were out and about, the sound of falling water similar to that of thousands of terrifyingly huge footsteps, footsteps of nightly creatures that L's young mind still believed in._

 _There was an unsavory howl that echoed through the night, and L swore that he heard a loud, shrewish laugh whenever there was lightning, and despite the fact that L knew that all these creatures and monsters were only figments of his imagination, that these demons and beasts only existed inside of his head, it didn't stop him from letting horror and distress rattle his bones. Even in the dark bathroom, he was convinced that he could see the shadows of closet monsters and evil witches mingling with each other, waiting for him to come out so that they could devour him._

 _Drawing his arms and legs even closer to his core in some form of protection, L closed his eyes and hoped that both the monsters of the rain and his father wouldn't find him in here. He hoped that they wouldn't find him in this leaky, smelly bathroom with a broken lock. He wanted to just stay here forever, really, away from all his tormentors, whether they were real or imaginary._

 _"Rain, rain, go away, and come back another day..." L sang softly in a fruitless attempt to get the rain to stop, but, as the rational side of his brain kicked in, he realized that the rain wasn't going to stop no matter now much he sang. If anything, the song probably made the rain angry, causing for it to rain harder._

 _L finished off his little song anyway, "Rain, rain, go away, so that I can have a sunny day..." L sighed, and there were dry, crusty streaks on his face where his teardrops had been._

 _BOOM! Out of alarm, L nearly jumped out of his skin, and, without thinking, he slammed open the bathroom door and scampered out. He ran around the house, panic growing inside of him. His screams pierced the air as his nerves fired at a million miles per hour. There was a pulsing sensation in his chest, and L clutched it, trying to get himself to settle down. It was no use, though. With his brain on autopilot, L sprinted towards the front door._

 _He had no idea what he was doing, not a clue, but there he was, opening the door that lead into the harsh, unforgiving rain. He tried to stop his body, he really did, but he couldn't help it. He just had to get away. Not bothering to close the door behind him, L's bare feet pounded on the wet cement. It only took a matter of seconds for him to get soaked, and the rain made his hair droop in front of his face, partially obscuring his vision._

 _With no plan and eyes blurred from the rain, L ran as fast as his smalls legs could possibly carry him. He flapped his arms around, as if they would become wings so that he could fly away, and he continued sprinting. Sweat poured from his forehead, his eyes were wide open yet exhausted at the same time, and his lungs felt like someone had set them on fire. It was horrible, absolutely horrible, but what was worst of all was that L was perfectly aware that his course of actions made no sense._

 _"What am I doing?!" L asked the rain. It only replied with the hiss of water._

 _Then, after he had been running for who knows how long, he stopped. The rain had gentled a bit, but it was still pouring. L looked up into the sky, only to be greeting by gray and water, and he blinked in an attempt to get the water out of his eyes. He sniffled and sneezed, and he hugged himself, the outside being much colder than his house, even if his house had no heating._

 _All of a sudden, the revelation hit him. He **couldn't** go back, not now, not after he had gotten this far, but there was also another reason. His father was most likely back by now, and if he discovered that L had tried to run away... L... L didn't know what he would do... but whatever it was, it sent horror slinking up his spine and made him feel slightly sick. There would probably be a lot of blood involved, too. And pain, lots of bone-crushing, jaw-breaking, nosebleeds-filled pain. _

_L swallowed the lump in his throat. He was all alone now. No matter how inadequate the care his father provided was, at least there used to be a roof above his head. Now, though, there was literally no roof above his head, and he would probably be running around dressed in soaking wet clothes for the next few days in the cold fall air. Then there was also the daunting prospect of getting food and finding somewhere to keep dry. There was also the problem of avoiding everyone, and L meant everyone. A wet, emaciated, dirty child with no guardian that was scrambling through town would look more than suspicious, so L would have to be careful not to stir up any attention, especially around adults._

 _"You can do this," L told himself. His stride suddenly gaining an extra edge of strength, L took a step forward, and what a step it was. It was a step away from his abusive home, away from his constantly drunk father, away from his old life. This was a fresh start for him, L decided, and despite the obvious fact that this wasn't the smartest choice, far from it, actually, L would take it. It was better than rotting away in some house where your father always locked you in and beat you half to death every other day._

 _This was the beginning of a brand new life for him, L determined, and he was now unstoppable. Now that he was free, he could do anything. **Anything.** He could be anything he wanted now that his father was no longer breathing down his neck. He was going to do something with his life. He was going to do whatever he could to stop suffering, to give justice to the helpless, to the ones that needed it, and he was, most of all, going to become something great. _

_"Watch me, world, because you'll know who I am soon enough. Just you wait," L balled up his hands into fists, determination burning within his eyes, and he found a stick laying in the mud. With the stick he found, he drew a big, capitol, Gothic letter "L" in the dirt, and his voice, although soft, rang with an air of aplomb, "My name is L, and I will bring justice upon this world." With that, he threw the stick into the dirt and walked off, no longer caring about the rain running down his tattered shirt or how heavy his legs felt when he lifted them up to move._

 _CRASH!_

 _L yelped and jumped, scrambling away from the source of the sound. Even with his newfound identity, he was still scared of the witches and goblins and monsters of the rain. After all, he was still a child._

* * *

"AH!" L woke up in sync with the clap of thunder and lightning that sounded outside. After his eyes snapped open, L darted his head around, the weight of sleep still heavy on his shoulders. "W-where am I...?" It took a few seconds for him to realize that he had just had a dream, and he sighed in relief after his breathing slowed and he wiped the sweat off his brow. It was only a dream... Well, okay, his dream was technically a flashback of what had happened years ago, but at least it was that, the past, something that L would never experience again... or so he hoped.

He then peeked into the other room, where Watari was sleeping, and thankfully, he was still fast asleep. Glad that he hadn't woken Watari up, L check the time. It was five in the morning. Just how long _had_ he been asleep?

L eyed his laptop and sighed. He still had a case to solve, so he opened it up, but not before checking his phone.

A small smile curled onto L's lips; it looked like Light had sent him a text while he was having his nightmare/flashback.

Reading the text, L scoffed. It read, _"Goodnight, sweet dreams. :)"_

"Oh, how ironic," L grumbled as he recalled the nightmarish dream he had. Well, admittedly, it did get a little better at the end, but that didn't do much to lift L's mood. L was still shaken from being reminded of his childhood, and damn did his childhood sting. He could still feel the slap of his father's hand. He could still hear insult after insult being hurled towards him. He could still feel the coldness of having no one love him. And damn, it really, really stung.

* * *

 **Well, sorry if nothing much happened this chapter. As I said earlier, I have a very bad case of writer's block, and I'm generally just very busy right now, but I hope you still liked this chapter. Sorry for taking so, so long to update, too, and if there are a lot of grammatical errors in this chapter, it's because I was editing it while half-asleep. I hope that I can update sooner once I get acclimatized to high school. See you next chapter (which hopefully won't take as long as this one)!**


	11. Oddly Similar to a Date

**Chapter 11: You Know, This is Oddly Similar to a Date**

* * *

Light stared at L. L started back, his deep, coal-black eyes burrowing into anyone who dared look their way. Although, to be fair, there were a very select few who weren't unnerved by L's blank, unending gaze. Light was one of those people. In fact, Light enjoyed the stare quite a bit. He found it endearingly, really, for reasons he couldn't explain, but nevertheless, he found it... well... yes, he found it cute, not that L knew that.

Finally, L looked away, but Light wasn't about to settle with just a staring contest. He had invited L out to lunch on his only day off, and he wanted to actually talk to the detective. From Light's observations of L's behavior, though, L was definitely not the type of person to create a scene when in public, especially by talking, and he avoided attracting attention at all costs. Well, at least L _tried_ to direct attention away from him. Due to the way L sat, ate, expressed emotions, and generally presented himself, it would take a lot of effort to keep himself hidden in public, which was probably why L didn't like to go out much.

Still, Light was grateful for whatever time he could spend with L, since L was the only person who really peaked his interest, so he didn't mind too much that people were giving uneasy glaces at L's posture and lunch of choice, an assortment of chocolates, small sponge cakes, and fruits, the entire plate being sprinkled in a light dusting of sugar. L didn't have much of an idea of table manners, too. Either that or L just chose to not follow said manners, since he often flat-out ignored the line that divided socially acceptable behaviors from actions that most people wouldn't even do in private, let alone in a crowded cafe.

Speaking of a cafe, though, the one they were in was bustling with customers and waiters, but it wasn't excessively busy. Light and L were sitting in one of the seats that were located outside, underneath the red and white stripped umbrella over their table, and it was a relatively sunny day. There was a light dusting of snow on the streets, and L and Light were wearing coats, although it wasn't as cold as it was a month or two ago. It seemed like an ideal situation, yet it was anything but.

Light wasn't used to seeing L like this. Sure, L had his shy moments, but throughout the three months that Light had known L, Light never figured that L would be this awkward in public. Light had seen L out in the open on several occasions, but it was nothing like this. All of the other times Light had seen L out of his hotel room, L was a little too blunt for the average person and too eccentric for most, but never before had Light seen L nibble on his strawberry so awkwardly that his teeth missed their target every three bites.

L was eating much slower than he usually did, too. Light had finished the fish he ordered about thirty minutes ago, but L had barely touched his food, which was, again, very unusual. Maybe the stress of being the world's greatest detective was getting to him again...

"L, are you okay? You usually finish your food way before I do, but you've barely touched it. Are you not hungry or something?" Light knew that he had to navigate around his concerns carefully. If he asked directly what was wrong, L would push him away, but if he was too passive-aggressive, L would easily avoid the subject.

"To tell you the truth, I guess I'm not too hungry right now," L admitted, and he sighed. He set down the strawberry he had been gnawing on and switched to his thumb, indicating that he was deep in thought. Light also noticed that whenever L was stressed, he tightly gripped his knees, which was exactly what he was doing at the moment.

"So..." Light said, trying to distract L from what his words really implied. Light found it as a useful technique when dealing with people who hid the truth, so this method of getting someone to spill a secret worked perfectly on L. (Or at least in theory) "Great job on solving that case. I was afraid that the murderer, or in this case murderers, would get away this time."

"I've never failed to solve a case, you know," L replied. He picked up his fork and used it to play around with the slice of spongecake on his plate. He stabbed the dessert, broke off a small, delicate chunk, and brought it up to his lips. He popped it into his mouth, and he chewed, which was something L often did when he wanted to steer away from conversation. At last, as his eyes revealed that he knew there was no way out of this, he continued, "But thank-you for your help. It looks like your theory of there being multiple killers is correct." The words came out as a nearly incomprehensible, soft murmur, and Light had to lean in slightly to hear the last part of L's sentence.

There was a painfully long pause, and the two geniuses just spent it staring at each other once more. While Light blinked a few times, L didn't appear to have broken his gaze once, and he absentmindedly scooped up a dab of frosting with his forefinger, plopping the cream into his mouth as his stare intensified.

Light swallowed the nervous clump in his throat. Things hadn't been this awkward since he had first met L three months ago, but even then, it wasn't nearly as uncomfortable as this silence. Before, things had flowed so naturally. Now, though, the conversation was stiff and unnatural, a stark contrast from what Light usually felt around L, but, despite L's attempts to hide it, Light was gradually piecing together that _something_ was wrong with his friend. Too bad someone like L would avoid a subject like this as much as possible."

"How did your week go?" Light questioned, and he gritted his teeth at the small-talk. He and L, at this point in their friendship, rarely used normal conversation conventions, including small-talk, yet it had to be done. It was the only way to possibly have a chance at figuring out what was wrong with L.

"It's been fine..." L muttered, his voice as soft as the tone he had used the last time he spoke. "What about you?"

 _"There you go dodging the subject again,"_ Light internally sighed, although he tried his best to not let it show. Based on L's people-reading skills, though, it was next to impossible to hide these things from him. In fact, Light was almost certain that L could guess what he was thinking word for word. It was scary, really, that two people could have such a similar thought process, and both L and Light found themselves finishing off the other's sentences with terrifying accuracy.

"I'm doing fine, too, do you plan on picking up any new cases?" Light noticed how L's shoulders relaxed when he said that. L was like that, Light noticed. L was completely comfortable within the realm of detective work and mysteries, and it was kind of ironic that while L could stay completely calm during a murder investigation, he often showed signs of cracking when faced with regular, day to day tasks such as talking to strangers, eating in public, and even going shopping. Even though Light found most of L's traits endearing, even adorable, he didn't want for L to feel so anxious when surrounded by other people. Light, even though he was occasionally a loner, couldn't even begin to imagine the misery of being constantly paranoid of everyone and everything around you.

"Any new cases, you ask? Well, yes, there are, actually. It's a massive array of crime that has swept the United States. I won't really be going anywhere, though, since I mainly operate within Japan. If I take up cases from all over the world, anyone trying to hunt me down would think that I'd move to whatever country I've been called to in order investigate. They wouldn't think that I just stay put here in Japan, plus traveling frequently all over the world is a massive and unnecessary inconvenience," L explained, and he broke off another small sliver of cake and ate it.

Light nodded, and he subconsciously perked up when L said that he was going to stick around in Japan, even though Light saw that as a little selfish. Who could blame him, though? He didn't want for the first true friend he had to move away after only knowing him for three months!

"How long do you think this case will take you?" Light asked, curious as to what L would say. The last case L had worked on, the one where Light and the NPA had helped him, took much longer than expected, so Light wanted to know what L thought of the investigation he was leading now. Plus, the mood was starting to lighten considerably for whatever reason, and Light wanted to keep it that way. L was someone who didn't really like going out, so perhaps talking about what he was the most familiar with, in this case detective work, eased L's obvious nerves.

"Well, that murder case you mentioned took much longer than intended, as there were multiple people that we needed to arrest, but since this is just a string of crimes, I'm hoping that the one or ones guilty will be less careful about covering up their tracks than in a murder, so it should take three weeks at most," L predicted.

"Well, if you ever want someone to text your nightly deductions to, then you know who," Light smiled, and L momentarily flashed Light a small, shy grin.

"Although, to be honest, we probably shouldn't be talking about this kind of stuff in the open," L glanced over his shoulder suspiciously, and he redirected his attention towards Light. "There's less than a one-percent chance, but there could possibly be wiretaps or something of that nature in here," L leaned in close to Light so that Light could hear his whispers.

"You're probably right," Light agreed while L was still leaning in close so that they had at least some privacy in their conversation. It was an odd sight, two grown men leaning in close and whispering to each other, but it was better than someone hearing the more than slightly suspicious conversation they were having. Before long, though, they backed away and were sitting at a distance deemed socially acceptable from each other.

L looked down at his meal and slumped his shoulders, "Strange, I'd normally finish this in about five to ten minutes." He paused, probably to think of what to say next, then opened his mouth after a minute or two of pondering, "Oh well, nothing we can do about it now."

Light and L paid for their food, and they got up, pushed in their seats, and strolled onto the sidewalk, where they walked side by side and were closer to each other than they wanted to admit. Their hands brushed a few times, too, but Light attributed that to coincidence, unaware of the emotions really going through his head. Yes, he felt those damn tingling butterflies in his stomach. And sure, he was a bit lightheaded. Maybe there were also weird and wonderful chemical reactions happening in his brain, but he still couldn't identify the source of all of this. Therefor, these feelings would mentally be a stone left un-turned until he was finally ready to face why he felt this way.

They walked for a little while, but they didn't go back to the hotel room just yet. They found a wooden bench that was located who knows where, and they sat on it for a while. A good, long while, both of them just enjoying the other. L gave Light the occasional smile, and he leaned on Light's shoulder a bit, not that Light minded the gesture at all. He quite liked it, actually, which was strange because even though he didn't downright hate being touched, he wasn't one to really appreciate tons of physical contact, either. With L, though, his touch was soft... it was safe and warm and a whole load of wonderful things.

Light looked at L, and L looked back, but this time, it wasn't a staring contest. It was just a nice, relaxing day-off to spend time with a friend. Right now, at this very moment, the general aspiration was to simply spend time with who you thought to be the most interesting person in the world, and to spend that time with that person within kissing distance of each other.

L fiddled around with the hem of his shirt, and he eyed Light, his face filled with emotions no one could ever dream to identify. They leaned in a little closer, but they both backed away after realizing how close they were. Light blushed, and so did L. They didn't speak for a while. They just sat with each other, the time around them slowing, but the time slowed in a good way. The time crawled through him and L in such a way that Light didn't want it to end. He wished that he could stay on this bench for the entire day and look at L and have L look back.

At last, though, L said aloud his musings, "Light, do you think that we were supposed to meet?"

"Why not?" Light asked as he quirked up an eyebrow. "If we weren't supposed to, why would've we met?"

"No, that's not what I meant," L sighed. Light should've known. It was unwise to take anything that L said at face-value. L continued, "Do you think that we were meant to be friends?"

"Well... that's hard to say," Light shrugged. "Who knows? Maybe we're enemies or something in a different universe, if that brings any comfort."

"It brings me none," L rolled his eyes, but his tone was somber. "Do you really think we were meant to be like this? Friends? Was I ever meant to even have a friend, or was this just some big mistake?"

"Why would you think that all of this is a mistake?" Light couldn't help but wonder. "I certainly don't think so. You know that I really like being around you, right?"

"I know, but... this feels... wrong, somehow," L exhaled deeply. "Don't get me wrong, I love being around you, but... I don't know... I get this strange, tingling sensation when I'm around you, as if something's not right. Do you? Do you get that tingling sensation in your gut? The butterflies in your chest?"

"Around you, I do," Light blurted out, although he wasn't exactly sure why. "I-I mean... I'm not sure if that's a bad thing or not, it's just... I... I don't know, it's-" Light waved around his arms, unsure of what to say, but L cut him off.

"Precisely, neither of us know what in the world is going on with the both of us," L shifted his position on Light's shoulder so that his head was cradled comfortably against Light's neck.

There was yet another silence. It should've been impossible, but Light could hear both of their heartbeats. Their hearts were thumping at a maddening rate despite the fact that they were only sitting down. What was this strange feeling he had around L? Light honestly had no clue... no clue at all.

"So back to the original question, were we even meant to be friends?" L asked, although it seemed like he was talking to himself more than he was to Light.

"Is it... that you don't like being around me?" Light held his breath in anticipation for an answer. He didn't think that he would be so hung up on a question like this, but he just had to get it out.

"What? Of course not! You're the first friend I've ever had," L looked taken aback, and he stared down Light. It was probably an attempt at being sincere and comforting, but the look on L's face resembled that of an owl. "I like being around you, I really do, and don't you ever think otherwise." Light sighed in relief, and L continued resting his head on the other's shoulder. "I'm simply wondering if this was meant to be, or is this just some huge mistake on the universe's part? I mean, the only reason we met was because of a dropped cheesecake."

"For the millionth time, I'm sorry about the dropped cheesecake! I offered to pay, but you said no!" Light crossed his arms, remembering the incredibly awkward exchange they had the first time they spoke to each other.

"But you ended up paying for it anyway," L stuck his tongue out to indicate that he was trying to press Light's buttons, and Light scoffed.

"You're such a tease," Light grumbled.

"You know you love it," L snickered.

"Oh stop it," Light sarcastically feigned hurt.

"I'm incredibly sorry if I've upset you," L smiled innocently, and he rested his hand on top of Light's.

"You and that damn innocent smile," Light retorted, earning a giggle from L. Light turned his head towards L, only to see the detective cup his hands into a heart shape and wink. Light couldn't help but laugh, and L's smile widened.

"Nice to see that you're enjoying yourself," L commented, and suddenly, he slid off the bench and shoved his hands into his pockets. "We should probably get going, though, I have some work to do. You... you can go home if you'd like..."

"Don't think that I'm just leaving you here," Light grabbed hold of L's hand and lead him through the street. "We see each other like once a week and can only text in between, so I'm taking as much time with you as I can!"

"So selfish," L said, although his massive grin said otherwise. They, although they were not completely aware of it, linked fingers and strolled along the sidewalk, not really caring about any funny looks they got. They pandered a bit through the streets, taking the long way back and stalling their arrival at L's hotel room by chatting the entire time. They elbowed each other on a few occasions, mostly due to how they absolutely reveled in poking fun at each other, and any tension from earlier was pretty much forgotten.

"I'm glad you had fun today," Light smiled, and at that moment, L looked slightly surprised, as he had paused in his stride and gawked at Light for a minute or two. A tickle of pink grazed his cheeks, and L turned away, presumably from embarrassment.

"What?" Light inched in closer, the concern for his friend building within him. "Is everything alright?"

"It's nothing," L quickly shook his head, then took several deep breaths to help get the blushing under control. "I'm fine, but thank-you for caring." L tugged his fingers away from Light, and it was only then that Light noticed they had been holding hands the whole time. It was now Light's turn to blush, and out of nowhere, he mumbled something he never thought he would say.

"You know, this is oddly similar to a date," the words left Light's mouth before he could stop himself.

"A date...? But... We're both-" L didn't finish his sentence.

"I'm sorry, it came out weird, and... and..." Light, who was exasperated, lifted his hands to his hair and combed his fingers through the strands, as the action sometimes calmed him. "C-can we talk more about this once we get back to the hotel room? People are staring at us." Light glanced over his shoulder to see a few people wondering about the conversation the two were having.

"Yes, that would most likely be best," L agreed, and slowly, painfully, they made their way back, and this time, they were careful to not get too close.

* * *

L and Light sat on the bed of L's hotel room. Watari was busy running some errands, so they didn't have much of a way of interruptions.

"Light... have you begun... questioning a few things since we've met?" L was the first to speak. Light didn't reply, but L waited. This conversation would be in no way an easy one, so it was best for both to just take their time. Neither of them had anywhere they had to be, anyway, so time was definitely not something they were running short on at the moment.

"Maybe a few..." Light revealed, and he looked into L's eyes. Those eyes were those of someone confused and unsure. L was confused, too. He didn't know what was going on.

 _"This is why I don't like getting tangled up with other people-"_ L couldn't finish the thought. When he thought about it, he didn't know how he had survived before Light stepped into his life. It was funny, really, that he never knew how lonely he was until he found someone to keep him company.

"Do you regret meeting me...?" L, unsure of how to carry out the rest of this chat, decided to say whatever popped into his mind, which was unusual for him, but hey, they were friends, right...?

"What? No, of course not, I hope you don't regret meeting me, either," Light turned away, his eyes shielded by his neat, hazel-colored hair. L shook his head, indicating that he had no regrets about meeting Light as well.

L felt his body relax at hearing that Light didn't have any ill feelings towards their friendship. He didn't know why he was so scared of Light secretly despising him, but he was. Light was the person he was most motivated to maintain a relationship with, other than Watari of course. Light shifted his position on the bed, and he leaned in, the distance between them less than when they were sitting on the bench. Feeling a pang in his chest and his heart skip, L could feel his face redden, although Light didn't comment on it. It was probably the weight and significance of this moment that prevented either of them from teasing the other, especially for something like blushing, as both of their faces looked like huge, talking tomatoes.

"Light, I'm not sure if I see you as only a friend," L didn't know exactly why he said that, but once he did, it felt kind of nice to get it off his chest, despite his fears of Light's reaction to what he had said.

"I'm not sure, either," Light inched ever so closer. His fingertips brushed against the back of L's hand, which was resting on the bed next to L's side. At the electric, magnificent feeling of Light's hand brushing against his own, L had the sudden desire for more of that amazing sensation he felt whenever Light's skin contacted his own.

"L..." Light, obviously not knowing how to word his sentence, could only say that before he wrapped his arms around L in a tight, warm hug. L didn't even wince, which was something that never _ever_ happened. Normally, L would cringe at even the accidental touches that were inevitable if you were out in public, but for some reason, some will of the universe, L did not spring back when Light made physical contact with him. In fact, L lifted his arms and flung them around Light's waist.

"What are we doing?" Light mumbled through the mess of L's hair he had his face buried in.

"Honestly, I don't know," L, for one of the first times in his life, couldn't really find an answer to this situation. It felt so right, though... It was perfect, just perfect, and nothing could tell L otherwise. "But what I do know is that this is very nice. I'd prefer to stay like this, but it's up to you... if you feel uncomfortable, then we could seper-"

"I'd prefer to stay like this, too," Light tightened his grip around L, making L go red at not only the cheeks but also at the rest of his face and his neck. "You're cute when you're like this," L could hear Light whisper, although the detective wasn't entirely sure whether Light was aware of what he had blurted out or not. Judging from how Light didn't recoil and immediately apologize for his comment not coming out in the way he intended, though, it was safe to assume that Light was pretty much on autopilot.

Surprisingly, Light telling L that he was cute didn't bother L in the slightest. In fact, L, in one way or another, liked it, and L was quite fond of the way Light combed his fingers through his messy, tousled, untidy hair. L yawned as a sudden wave of sleepiness hit him, washing over his consciousness as his eyes felt droopy and heavy.

"L, how long has it been since the last time you've slept?" Light unexpectedly asked, his tone that of a stern yet worried parent. L scooted away, eyeing Light with his best puppy-dog eyes.

"I knew it, you haven't rested in days," Light sighed, and he pulled the blanket that was underneath them over L's shoulders.

"I'm fine," L insisted. Light clearly wouldn't have any of it, though. "Really... Besides, I don't want to hinder you just because I'm tried-"

"I'm pretty tired anyway, too, the job's been stressful, you know?" Light butted in before L could continue. It appeared that he would not give up on his quest to get L to sleep. All L could do was nod in agreement, and he finally caved in, curling himself into a small ball and snuggling beneath the sheets as he did so.

"Sweet dreams," Light gently smiled, and as L drifted off, he gingerly kissed L on the forehead, as if Light was L's mother.

"Okay... thank-you..." was all that had managed to escape L's lips before his eyes fluttered closed and his previously unknown exhaustion took over.

* * *

Light looked down at L's sleeping form. It had been thirty minutes since the detective had fallen asleep, but Light was in no rush. He had a day off today, and he intended to make the best of the only day of the week he had with L. Light, as carefully as possible as to not wake his friend up, ran his fingers through L's hair, stroking it with fascination. L's hair was a tangled, spiky mess, but it was much softer than Light had expected, not that he was disappointed. L was always full of surprises, so you couldn't really predict anything about him.

Sighing, Light accepted the truth that he would never be able to get over how cute L was, and he snickered as L, in his sleep, brought his thumb up to his lips and started nibbling on the nail. Light tenderly guided L's hand away from his mouth so that he wouldn't break skin in the middle of his sleep.

L looked so peaceful, so innocent, so calm, but Light knew better. There were so many things brewing in L's head, and Light was not sure if anyone could decipher what was going on in L's head, not even L himself, which was saying something, not only because L had exceptional people-reading skills but also because most people typically knew themselves relatively well.

"So adorable," Light let himself say, and with that, after determining that he had nothing else to do, Light settled himself next to L and joined in on the nap. Closing his eyes, Light smiled at the thought of L right before he dozed off.

* * *

"L, I'm back," Watari called out as he entered the hotel room. Silence. To be fair, it wasn't too unusual. L was often so entrenched in his work that he wouldn't notice right away when Watari came back. What was unusual, though, was that Watari found L's computer and equipment scattered across the sofa and table, a detective with insomnia and a sugar addiction not included. "L?" Watari looked around, but he still found no one.

He paused for a few seconds, set his grocery bags on the floor of the hotel room, and, in the quiet, heard... snoring...?

"L, how are you doing?" Watari asked as he entered L's room. L rarely used his bed, but maybe, just maybe, L was there. Sure enough, he was, and Light was snuggled up next to him. Watari had to admit, it was one of the cuter sights of his life. L had never cuddled with anyone, not even as a child, so to see him here, snuggling with his friend and getting some sleep for once... it was nice, and it eased Watari's nerves by just a bit.

Watari had seen it. The moment L had started talking about Light, Watari knew. Even though L didn't know it, Watari did. He knew that L was in _love._ What started off as simple curiosity for a strange, interesting man turned into this, a beautiful friendship that would eventually become a love story.

It didn't bother Watari one bit that L was attracted to the same sex. He was just glad that L had found someone. Besides, he had known of L's sexual orientation since L was _ten._ How did he know? Well, unbeknownst to L, Watari secretly kept all the crayon drawings the detective had made as a child, but there was one that was near and dear to his heart. Watari was doubtful that L even remembered drawing this particular picture, or even if he remembered his childhood crayon drawings at all, but to Watari, they were an important insight into L's mind.

Watari took a crumpled-up and folded piece of paper from his shirt pocket, and he smiled as he stared at it. It was a picture L had drawn approximately fourteen years ago. It was a stick-figure drawing of two men kissing. One stick figure was labeled "ME" in the messy handwriting of a child L, and the other was labeled "PRINCE CHARMING" in the same crude writing. There were other indications that L was gay as well, but this drawing was really the starting point of Watari's speculations.

* * *

 _"L, what are you drawing?" Watari loomed over L, and he smiled at the sight of L behaving like any other child. He had already been through so much, so Watari was glad to see L happily drawing with crayons. There were crayons and color-pencils scattered all throughout the rug on the floor, and L was laying on his stomach, furiously working on the drawing in question. As usual, he had the crayon clasped between his thumb and pointer-finger, as Watari had given up on getting L to hold things normally a long, long time ago._

 _L, the pride from his accomplishment etched all over his face, presented the drawing. "See? I saw Cinderella on TV the other day. I was jealous that she fell in love, so I simply drew myself in her shoes, so to speak. Although it can be taken in a literal context."_

 _"Ah, so you want to fall in love like Cinderella and the prince did? You want to find your princess?" Watari tilted his head to the side, curious as to why L was suddenly so interested in love because he had never paid any attention to the subject matter before._

 _"No, I don't want a princess, I want a prince," L explained nonchalantly. L set the drawing back down, and he asked, "Watari, how come whenever I see a movie like Cinderella, there are never two men that fall in love? I'm quite confused by that, as I can't possibly be the only boy who wants a prince. Statistically, it is nearly impossible for there to be only one person who likes the same gender, given the billions of people that live in this world, so why aren't there any movies or TV shows or books, or at least not that I know of, that display a same sex relationship?"_

 _Taken aback, Watari didn't know what to say. "L... how do I explain this to you...?" Watari, scanning over the words in his brain to make the blow of what he was about to say as gentle as possible, knelt down to talk to L at eye level._

 _"Explain what?" L asked, the obliviousness, innocence, and naivety of childhood still prevalent in the ten-year-old._

 _"Never mind," Watari sighed. He just couldn't say it. For some reason, he had this feeling that L wasn't going to change his opinions on boys anytime soon. He had never dealt with this before... Okay, okay, in his defense, he never had children, so he knew full well that raising L, who came from a trauma-inducing background, mind you, would be no easy task. But still, he had never thought that this subject would come up. It wasn't something he had expected..._

 _The desire for knowing got the better of him, and Watari questioned, "L, do you think that you'll ever want a girlfriend, or be like those princes in the movies and marry a princess and live happily ever after?"_

 _"Okay, first of all," L said in a matter-of-factly tone, "forty to fifty percent of first marriages will end in divorce, so a happily-ever-after is highly unlikely. Marriage sounds horrendous, Watari. I'm jealous of Cinderella, but saying that, marrying someone really does sound horrendous. I have no other way to articulate what I'm feeling, though, so I am forced to project myself onto movie characters. And secondly, I really don't know why it's so common in today's media that a boy and girl marry, especially since I like boys, so therefor, your previous statement will have pretty much a zero-percent chance of happening, or at least from my point of view. What is your input?"_

 _"Hold on, I think I forgot something in the kitchen," it was a crappy excuse, but it worked. Watari scrambled into the kitchen. He needed time to let all of this sink in. Leaning against the kitchen counter, he sighed and massaged his temples. He knew from the start that raising a child as genius as L was would be beyond difficult, but once you added this, a topic Watari was unfamiliar with, into the mix, Watari didn't know what he would do._

 _Raising a child like L was a challenge... but then, Watari remembered, and remembered well. L was lonely, miserable, and abused for most of his childhood. He had the most precious years of his life robbed from him due to factors he couldn't control, and Watari was determined to help L in any way he could. All he could do was be there for the little boy. That was the only thing he knew. Yes, he was going to support L, for L was far too precious for Watari to let go. L was now his son, and Watari was going to try his damn hardest to make sure that L didn't feel alienated from his peers and to make L feel safe and secure. L **needed** someone he could lean on. It was a time for Watari to support L, not question him._

 _It was decided. Watari would research as much as he could about what L was feeling, and from then on, he could only support the little boy. Taking a deep breath, Watari said to himself quietly, "Don't worry, L, I'll be there for you. I love you. You're my son, and I'll care about you no matter what."_

* * *

Smiling at the fond memories, Watari was about to get up to prepare himself a cup of tea, when a terrified, ear-splitting shriek ripped through the air.

"L!" Watari rushed into L's bedroom. Did something happen while he wasn't there?! Swinging the door open, Watari barged into L's bedroom.

L was there, and he didn't appear to be hurt in any way, at least not physically, anyway. Light, who had just awoken and appeared to be as confused as Watari was, was cradling L on his shoulder, trying to comfort the man who had just screamed. L was sitting there, bawling his eyes out, and his tears were soaking both his and Light's shirts. L was uncharacteristically shaking, and Light whispered, his tone soft probably because he didn't want to spook L any further, "L, what happened?"

L looked up, taking in his surrounds, and with his nose still sniffling, he sighed, relief clear on his features, "Oh thank goodness... it was only a dream." L's body crumpled over onto Light's, and Light's eyes widened. So did Watari's.

"L, what did you dream about?" Light questioned, his voice still soothing as he rubbed L's back to comfort him.

"W-why... why does my father... h-hate me...?" L whimpered, barely able to force out his sentence. More tears spilled out, and he gripped Light's shirt. "W-why does he hate me...?"


	12. Oh Love, so Torturous and Sweet

**Chapter 12: Oh Love, so Torturous and Sweet**

* * *

"Light... why does he hate me...?" L asked, his voice barely a whisper. A cascade of tears ran down his face, leaving streaks of salt and water along his cheeks. For a while, neither said anything. It was silent except for the soft, delicate whimpers that escaped L's mouth, and they were like that for a while, L sitting on Light's lap, in his embrace, and Watari worriedly hovering over them.

Light was speechless. Never before had he thought that he would even meet L in person, much less see him in this state. Not even in his wildest dreams did Light ever imagine L as a sobbing, nervous wreck who was trembling with every breath. Light noticed how L, out of his obvious discomfort for this situation, furiously chomped on his tongue in an attempt to lessen his cries, but it was no use.

"WHY?!" L cried. The cry sent tremors down Light's neck. The sound of his friend in emotional pain was heartbreaking, and Light felt his chest tighten, his pulse banging against his rib-cage. L's jagged, mauled-up nails dun into Light's skin, and the feeling of L's violently shaking form against his shirt greatly disturbed him. Distress painfully contorted L's face, and his eyes were desperate, as if begging for something, anything, to ease the strain of whatever seemed to be haunting him.

"I NEED TO KNOW WHY!" L's screamed, his voice pitched at an alarmingly loud yell of agony. "WHY DOES HE HATE ME?!"

Light was incredibly confused, and the fact that L was screeching at the top of his lungs didn't help Light in his efforts to mull over what was going on. Light wanted so badly to figure out what was wrong, desperate to find out why L was feeling this way, but the commotion distracted his usually efficient train of thought. L had his head in between Light's neck and shoulder, him probably trying to squeeze the tiniest bit of comfort from his friend, but his attempts at trying to calm himself were in vain. It felt as if nothing in the world could get L to relax, but despite this being something that might've grated at other people's nerves, Light didn't mind too much.

In fact, since he had never really had a true friend before L, Light was more than glad to just hang around and make sure L was alright. Gently taking L's hand in his, Light used his other fingers to comfortingly rub circles into L's back, his heart feeling like it was being squeezed harder and harder by the second.

The hand Light offered was much appreciated, as L now had a death-grip on Light's hand, and L held it as if Light would float away if he let go for just a second. L didn't have to say it out loud. Light already knew. It was this connection, this unwritten code of geniuses that allowed for them to understand each other even if they didn't say a word. L was non-verbally begging, hoping, wishing for Light to stay, for Light to not leave him, and Light was more than happy to comply. Light couldn't live with himself, much less sleep at night, if he just left L right, then, and there.

Light turned his head towards Watari, unsure of what to do, and Watari gradually made his way closer and plopped onto the bed. He whispered something into L's ear, but Light was more than assured that whatever Watari said was intended to console L, based on how L's shoulders noticeably, albeit barely, released some tension. Even if Light couldn't read L's body language, he was more than certain that Watari would want to help L if he was in this situation. Watari called L his son, and judging from their interactions, it was safe to say that Watari really meant it when he told Light that L was practically his child.

L didn't say a word, but he nodded softly at his caretaker and loosened his hold of Light. He still remained curled in Light's lap, though, and as odd as it sounded, L felt like an adorable, warm ball of messy hair against Light's chest. Although, Light tried to push the thought out of this head. It wasn't exactly the time to be thinking about how cute L was, as L was laying their in a panic, and Light needed to concentrate on doing whatever he could to ease L's hurt.

After staring blankly off into space for a while, L slowly closed his eyes, the tears still pitter-pattering down onto the sheets. Light raised his hand up to L's hair, combing his fingers through L's feathery, surprisingly soft locks, and L, who seemed to be feeling cuddly, snuggled against Light's shoulder at the feeling of Light stroking his hair.

"L..." Light breathed out, but he couldn't think of anything to say. His thoughts were scrambling, all of them in a frenzy to think of ways to soothe L's discomfort, but he still did his best to keep his composure. The last thing L needed was for Light to lose it.

"Thank-you..." L finally managed to say something. "Thank-you so much... I-I..." L choked on a whimper as it forced its way out of his throat. He shifted his arms so that they were weakly wrapped around Light's neck, and he pulled himself closer, if that was possible.

Taking a deep breath, L shifted his head slightly to face Watari, but he was still staring at Light intently. "Watari, could you leave us alone for a while...? If you don't mind..."

"Of course," Watari nodded, and he backed out slowly, giving L one final look of comfort before closing the door in front of him. After the door was closed with a soft click, L sighed deeply, his cheeks turning a little pink, and he turned his head once more, presumably to get a better view of Light.

"I-I... I..." L's eyes started watering again, but he blinked, which held in some tears, and he brought the blanket up to his chest to bury his face in it. "I mean... it's just that... t-thank-you... for not leaving me right now..." That was all he could say without choking on his own tears, and Light, understanding that this wasn't the most comfortable situation for L to talk in, nodded, again, trying to hold back his own waterworks.

Still, he was quite perplexed at why L thought that he would leave him, especially during a time like this. "Leave you?" Light shuttered at the thought. "Why would I?"

"O-oh... it's just..." L tried to get it out, but his words got caught in a coughing fit, forcing for him to not be able to continue.

"L...! Are you okay?" Light rubbed L's back to assist him in breathing normally again, and while it took a few minutes, the coughing died down, and L toppled down onto Light, using the other man as a giant, softer than he expected, pillow.

"It's nice being like this," L mumbled through the tangle of bed-sheets, his already quiet voice muffled further by the blankets and bed linens.

Light couldn't help but crack a small smile. It was more than he could take! L was so damn cute! _"Get it together, Light,"_ Light scolded at himself. Straining and trying as hard as he could to catapult those thoughts out of his head, Light tensed slightly, but in the madness of the moment, L didn't really seem to notice. He just crumbled up in his hands a mixture of bits of the hem of Light's shirt and the blankets they both were wrapped in, his whimpers gradually losing the convulsions they came with, and for that, Light was relieved.

They were still holding hands, and L tightened his hand around Light's.

"Please..." L choked out. "Please hold my hand... I need you..." He broke out into a fit of sobs, and the only thing Light could do was sit there helplessly, caressing L's bony fingers and gently rubbing the bones in his thin wrist that were right underneath his skin.

Light gladly obliged to L's request. Holding the detective's hand was the least he could do. Yeah, he was still pretty in the dark when it came to why L suddenly burst into tears, but that would have to be a question for another day. Right now, holding L's hand and gingerly stroking his hair mattered much, much more than an explanation as to why they were in this situation in the first place.

* * *

"Arg!" L groaned. He was alone, in his hotel room, and sitting in his rolling chair, knees curled up to his chest as always. Watari was running some errands for him, mainly getting the detective some sweets because he had ran out, but also to investigate some things concerning the new case he had just picked up.

Now, he should've been working. He should've been taping away on his computer or going through surveillance footage or something, but he was preoccupied with... something more personal.

"Oh, how I hate emotions," L mumbled grimly to himself. Right now, he was conflicted. It had only been one day since he broke down into tears in front of Light while inside of his hotel room, and as embarrassed as he was, he was upset for other reasons at the moment. Mainly, he was torn over his feelings for Light.

He liked the man; he liked him so, so much. Light was his friend, L knew that much, but was he more...? Was Light more than just a friend to him? Yes, he knew that he loved Light. Yes, he knew that Light was the only person that understood him. But was he ready to admit his own knowledge, even to himself? Hell no. If he couldn't admit his feelings to himself, then how would he be able to tell Light? He didn't even know if he should tell anyone, even Watari. Oh jeez, what would Watari think? Would Watari hate him? Abandon him? Disown him? L didn't know. And even with Light, L, after sifting through some data about the topic, predicted that there was only a one-percent chance that Light even shared his feelings.

In frustration, L crushed the sugar-cube that he was about to stir into his tea. He felt the fine power of what was once a sugar-cube run over his fingers and plop into the teacup, a telltale sign of how much distress he was actually in. He looked down into the tea, only to see that there was now more sugar than drink. It appeared that he had added more sugar than he thought.

L, his hand shaking, struggled to bring the tea to his lips, and when he drank some, he didn't feel the exhilarating rush of caffeine he usually felt whenever he drank such a wonderful beverage. In fact, he was having difficulty swallowing the small sip he had taken.

What was he going to do?! He wanted so badly just to tell Light and to get the awkward confession over with, but at the same time, he didn't want to lose his only friend. He didn't want to lose Watari, either.

 _"What to do? What to do?"_ the question played over and over again in L's head. He started gnawing on his thumbnail, and eventually, he broke skin. His hand sprung back, and he winced, tasting the copper of the small prick of his blood that had settled on his tongue.

"Damn!" L cussed in pain.

After a few seconds, though, he had managed to settle himself down, and he started thinking about what to do again. Deciding to forgo the thumb-biting, he anxiously tapped his forefinger on the table in front of him. The tapping of his finger was in tune with the soft, subtle click of the clock hanging off the wall behind him, which went _click, click, click_ , but other than that, the room was pretty quiet. So quiet, in fact, that he heard how his slow, nervous heartbeat went _thump, thump, thump,_ and how his breathing was calm yet shaking.

His teeth grazed over his bottom lip in frustration, and he went from tapping his finger on the table to tapping a nearby pen.

 _Tap. Tap. Tap._

His tapping of the pen, his heartbeat, and the clock dangling off the wall were now in perfect sync, them all playing in perfect harmony.

 _Click. Tap. Thump. Click. Tap. Thump. Click. Tap. Thump._

Oh how he wished that life could be like that, a symphony that, with enough patience, you could control. Unfortunately, life was not that. It was messy, often offbeat, and always a pain in the neck. So was love. In fact, love was one of the messiest, most offbeat, painful things life had to offer, and L hated every second of it. It was torture, some sort of cruel, unusual punishment.

 _"Why do we fall for each other? Why do we fall in love?"_ L thought to himself. _"Why can't it be clean-cut? Decisive? Why can't love be... logical? Isn't it just a bunch of chemical reactions in one's brain? I wish it was... but it's not... it's something more... something much, much more... complex. Something much more painful. Something akin to torture... something that shouldn't happen..."_

* * *

Light really hoped that L was doing okay. He had stayed with the man as long as he could, but deep inside, for the entire duration of L's freak-out, Light had known that both he and L would have to get back to work eventually. He felt really guilty, honestly, just leaving L like that, even though L had insisted that they both had to return to their regular lives. Light really wished that he could stay with L a little while longer, even if he couldn't help the detective sort through his emotions. He wanted just to be there for him, to hold his hand, and to comfort him until he was feeling at least a little better.

When Light had left L's hotel room, L's eyes were still large and puffy, and he could still see the fresh tear-tracks on his face. L being L, though, pushed that he was fine, that things would work out. Light didn't believe him, though.

Light was currently in his cubicle, at the NPA office building, and working on a murder case, but as much as he wanted justice, he just couldn't get his mind off L.

Light really, really liked L. In fact, he had been questioning his feelings towards L for a while. The way his heart pounded whenever he was around him, the way he wanted to spend as much time as possible with the other... the way he caught himself staring at L's lips...

Light cringed, then winced. What... what the hell was he thinking?! Light, who was previously slouching slightly, sat up straight and stiff in his chair. He clenched his fingers and tightened his muscles.

Sighing, he resumed typing on his computer, but he couldn't focus at all. _"L... What are you doing to me...?"_ Light asked himself. He stopped typing and buried his fingers in his hair in an attempt to put in order his scrambling thoughts.

"Hey, Light, are you okay?" someone in the cubicle next to Light's poked her head to face Light, and since they were separated by the cubicle, Light could only see her head and her neck.

"O-oh, yeah, I just have something on my mind," Light shrugged, trying to sound nonchalant as to not stir up suspicion.

"You don't sound okay," she titled her head in curiosity. "You can tell me."

Light froze for a second. It was the first time in a while that anyone other than L was able to read his body language because he usually put a lot of effort into maintaining appearances. Not today, apparently. Today, it seemed that his mask, his facade, had slipped a little. Unfortunately, one of the downsides of him always hiding his true emotions was that he always appeared fine, so when he didn't appear to be completely, one-hundred-percent okay, people started speculating about what he was actually feeling. Realizing that he wasn't going to win this one, Light decided to just get it over with, "Alright, alright, I'll talk... I've just been thinking..."

"About what?" she asked.

"Thinking about..." Light swallowed the congealed, thick lump of nervousness in his throat. "About... someone."

His coworker raised her eyebrow in surprise, "Ooh, who?"

Light's cheeks burned with red, as if someone had placed a red-hot coal on them, and his eyes widened. His throat went dry as well, and he couldn't help but feel helpless embarrassment.

"Don't worry, I understand why you don't want to tell who it is, but it appears that you quite like this person," she giggled.

Light, his cheeks still singed with rouge, looked away, trying to hide the color on his cheeks, and he tried to turn his attention back to his computer monitor.

"Ah, I see, you like her," his coworker smiled, before poking her head back behind her cubicle.

"WHAT?!" Light jumped at that, attracting the attention of everyone in the office, but everyone went back to work after a quick apology from Light and him making up the excuse that he thought he saw something and got startled.

"You look like you've seen a ghost," the coworker he was chatting to commented, a hint of sarcasm in her voice.

Light hid back behind his cubicle, and he resumed thinking, twiddling his pen as he was deep in thought.

 _"Do I... like L?"_ Light thought to himself. _"I know I like him... but... do I like, like him? How is this even possible?! I mean, I know I've never been in love with a woman before, but..."_ Light paused mid-thought, and the feelings of shock, horror, and relief jammed their ways into his system. _"What the hell?!"_ now, Light typically didn't curse, not even in his thoughts, but he'd never been in love before, much less with another man! He was sure that L didn't even share his feelings!

What to do?! What to do?! He liked L, he really did. He _loved_ L. He loved L so, so much, and it wasn't just a friendship. The way his heart sped up, the way he always had butterflies in his stomach, the way he occasionally caught himself staring at L in utter fascination. He had thought that his feelings for L stemmed from his desire to be the detective's friend, but now he knew better. He had seen women who were hopelessly in love with him before, but he never thought that he'd be the one that was helplessly tangling with a crush.

He loved L, and there was nothing he could do about it.

* * *

"Glad to see you," L smiled that cute, little smile of his as he opened the door up for Light. Light was paying L a visit in his hotel room, as usual. In fact, this arrangement had been happening quite often. Ever since L's freak-out and sobbing session a week ago, Light had been seeing L whenever he could, which was pretty much everyday after work, at seven-thirty at night precisely. Everyday, he'd pop by L's hotel room, as L wasn't exactly one to go out much, and the two would talk about whatever, work together on some random case L had, and maybe watch a movie or two if they had time. They'd have dinner, too, with L getting Light room service and L stuffing his face with some sort of sweet. Today, Light observed, a slice of half-eaten peach cobbler was sitting on the table next to L's computer, which was resting on a glass table to the left of a red and green striped couch.

Light still hadn't said anything about his feelings for L, thinking that it'd be better to just wait and see what would happen. He didn't want for things to turn towards the awkward. He was happy with it being like this. He was happy with L being only his friend so that he could sit there, being secretly in love with the detective, and all he could really do was enjoy the other's company.

"Glad to see you, too," Light smiled, and gave L a small hug. Luckily, L didn't shrink back, but sometimes, whenever Light tried to make contact with the detective, he would bounce back, probably on instinct, not that Light blamed him. L was constantly in danger, as he was the world's greatest detective and had to deal with all the connotations that came with it. It was nice when L allowed for Light to touch him, though, as Light simply loved giving L a hug. Light couldn't explain it. Holding L was nice, somehow.

L shuffled over, in his usual hunched position, to the phone which was sitting on a coffee table, and he picked it up and turned towards Light, "I'm getting room service, in the mood for anything in particular?"

Light shrugged, "Eh, I think anything will do, as long as it's not a dessert." He eyed the peach cobbler before tacking on the phrase, "Uh... no offense."

"None taken," L replied in his usual smooth, monotone voice. Sometimes, Light wondered if L really was bothered by these things. By the looks of it, he didn't, but with L, you never really knew, since the detective was such a proficient liar.

L dialed room service and spoke into the phone, "Ah, yes, this is room 7834. I'd like to know what specials you have today for dinner... oh, salmon? Yes, I'll take that, thank-you."

L put down the phone and turned towards Light, "It should come in about ten minutes."

"Thanks," Light walked up to L, and together, they plopped themselves onto the couch. They were sitting on the left end of the couch, although L was right at the edge while Light was closer to the middle. L started typing on his computer with his pointer-fingers, as he always did, and he began talking as he worked, "So, I've picked up this new case. It's a murder one. Don't think it's anything too major, but I am in the process of brainstorming a suspect list."

"Any clues yet?" Light questioned.

"Not a lot," L admitted. "The investigation's just started. All they've been able to determine is that all of the victims are female, that they're in their twenties, and we've uncovered only basic details about their backgrounds. I'm guessing that the killer is either murdering for sexual desire or due to the desire for revenge, either one's a plausible theory. All the murders have taken place in the same area, and all the women that have been murdered had gone to the same college... still... that could just be a coincidence because not all serial killers are able to be mobile... hmm..."

"Do the people murdered have anything else in common?" Light asked.

L thought for a moment, pulled up some information on his laptop, and slowly shook his head, "Unfortunately, no. I'll have to poke around more for some information that might help."

Then, Light realized something, and he looked around, just to make sure he didn't miss anything, "Hey, L, where's Watari?"

"Oh, Watari?" L didn't even look up from his screen, although that behavior was expected. "Watari's out. I believe he's attending a birthday party for one of his friends' nieces. Don't worry, though, he left me plenty of sweets, so I should be able to make it through the night."

"Alright," Light nodded. Suddenly, the thought hit him. He and L were here... _alone_... Whenever Light visited, Watari was always there. It felt weird, really, but not in a bad way. He peered over at L, who was still typing, and let a small smile crack onto his lips. A pang of excitement made its way through his stomach, no matter how hard he tried to stop it. Sure, they'd been alone together on more than one occasion, but when that happened, they were usually in public, or, like last week, if they were alone together in a room, Watari was next door.

"Light?" L abruptly stopped typing.

"Yeah?" Light replied.

"Do you feel weird being alone together... in the same room...?" it appeared that L was thinking about the same things Light had been.

Hesitantly, Light nodded, slightly afraid of what would happened next, although he didn't know why. It was just him and L, right?

With a snap, L slammed closed his laptop, and he started at Light with those intense, owl-like eyes Light was so used to. They glistened underneath the dim light of the room, and L leaned in closer, examining Light, eyeing every detail and refusing to stop looking until he finished with what was apparently some sort of evaluation.

"L...?" Light was getting kind of nervous at this point. "I-is something wrong?"

L shook his head, indicating a no. So, why was the detective staring at him, then?! Hadn't they gotten over this stage after the first few meetings?!

"Nothing," L sighed, almost as if he was disappointed, and he relaxed himself, re-curling his knees up to his chest because they had been dangling off the sofa for the entire time he had been staring at Light.

"What? What is it?" Light furrowed his eyebrows. "If there's something wrong, you can just tell me, you know."

A look of utter horror suddenly appeared on L's face, but it wasn't the frightened look L had when he was sobbing his eyes out while in Light's embrace. No, it was more of a look of nervousness, as if he was about to propose or something. In fact, L's face was turning red, and Light could see it turn to the color of a beautifully red rose despite L's attempts to cover up the blush with his sleeve.

"It's just..." L acted like the words were stuck in his throat.

* * *

Oh dear... this hadn't gone the way he intended. The words were there, in his throat. They were clogging up his airways, and despite them wanting to burst out of his mouth in spectacular fashion, the words refused to budge. He could feel his face heat up, too, and he absolutely hated it when that happened. It was so embarrassing! They had been through enough awkward silences! Why couldn't he just get it out?!

Watari didn't know. Light didn't know. Heck, even L hadn't fully admitted to himself that he _liked_ Light, and not just as a friend. No... he _really_ liked Light, as in like, like. He wasn't fond of using the term 'like, like,' as to him it sounded like something a kindergarten student would say, but he didn't know if he was ready to face himself in the mirror and tell himself that he liked Light. What would Light even think of it?!

Throughout the past week, his feelings for the NPA detective had crossed into... well, they'd crossed into thinking that Light was more than just a friend, at least to him, anyway. He couldn't just say it, though! What if admitting to Light that he liked him alienated L from his only friend?! The only person that understood him, Watari included!

Geez! This was a lot harder than L had anticipated, and to think, he had once thought that his assessments of people and his own abilities were relatively accurate!

"L...?" L could sense the slight twinge of both nervousness and suspicion in Light's voice. He had to think of something quick!

Then, something... rather unexpected happened. Like the cap of a pressurized tank that had been filling with steam for too long, or a suitcase about to explode because it had been stuffed with too many things, the words came spilling out, stumbling and tripping desperately out of L's mouth.

"IthinkI'minlovewithyou!" L spoke so fast that he was secretly hoping that Light couldn't hear him.

Judging from how Light's jaw dropped, though, Light could hear him as clear as day.

 _"What was I thinking?!"_ L mentally slapped himself in the face. _"I should've just left it at the status quo, where Light and I were just friends! Stupid L! Stupid, stupid L! You know, for the world's greatest, second greatest, and third greatest detectives, you can be really stupid sometimes!"_

"I-I can explain...! I-I..." L could feel his face go even redder, and his neck and hands weren't safe from the redness, either.

 _Knock! Knock! Knock!_

"L-looks like room service is here..." L awkwardly slid off the couch, and he scrambled towards the door, opening it and taking the tray of food offered to him. He closed the door, eyeing Light with a terrified and embarrassed look, and he walked over to Light to gently set the tray in front of him.

"H-here... I'm hoping you like salmon," L tried to cut some of the tension, not that it appeared to help. Light was staring at him, his expression still that of a shocked man, and he didn't even notice the fish in front of him.

"L..." Light stared at L with an expression he couldn't identify.

"Do you hate me...?" L asked, his voice soft and meek. He turned away, afraid to look at him, afraid of what Light would say.

"What?! No, no, of course not!" Light shook his head, his hair swaying cutely back and forth as he did so.

"I-I hope this doesn't sound weird, but... you're pretty cute when you do that..." L admitted, him still trying to cover his blush with his arm.

Light's face turned red, too, but, unlike L, he didn't turn away. Instead, he smiled, and he patted the cushion next to him, inviting for L to come and sit with him. L reluctantly walked over and sat down. He wasn't really sure what Light would do. He had just told Light that he liked him for crying out loud! How would he expect for Light to react?! L found it surprising that Light wanted to even be in the same room with him, much less have him and Light sit on the same couch.

"Light...?" L asked. The sound of his heart echoed in his ears. His entire body was trembling, and he gripped his knees, wincing as his nails dug into his skin. He bit and toyed around with his dry, chapped lips in anxiety as fear and shame washed over him. He shouldn't have told him... he shouldn't have told Light that he loved him. He didn't want to drive away the only person other than Watari that found him tolerable. He didn't want to drive away one of only two people that knew him for who he was. He didn't want to drive away the person who didn't just see him as the world's greatest detective. He liked Light, and he really liked that Light saw him as a person and not just as a letter on a screen. He should've just kept it at that! With what he had confessed, all the joy of having a friend that understood him could be taken away in one fell swoop, and L's stomach felt sick at the thought of that.

Even though he desperately wanted to, he didn't cry. He had already cried last week, and he didn't want for Light to see him like that again. L tightly shut his eyes, scared of what Light would tell him.

Then, a hand carefully brushed some of the hair away from L's face. He looked up, his eyes twitching to hold back the tears, to see Light's smile. That damn, glistening smile that was so, so easy to fall for. Dammit! Why was it so easy to fall for him?! Why was it so easy to fall for Light of all people?! Why was it so easy to fall for your friend?!

"Why is it so easy to fall for you...?" L managed to choke out.

"Why is it so easy to fall for you, too?" Light asked.

L froze. He dared to look Light in the eye, only to find an expression of understanding and... was it happiness...? Was Light **happy**? Happy that L confessed to him that he liked him?

"I love you, too..." Light smiled yet again, bringing his hand up to L's face to wipe away the tear that threatened to fall.

Now it was L's turn to have his jaw nearly drop. He didn't have time to think about how he would react to such an unlikely possibility; he just had to dive in there before his mind stopped him. Lunging in, L held out his arms and tightly wrapped them around Light.

"I love you... I should've told you sooner," L cried out. "I should've realized sooner..."

"I should've realized, too," Light hugged L back tight. "Love you... I really do. You're my only true friend, L. Remember that."

Light leaned in, drawing himself closer to L's lips, and they brushed against each other. His heart beating and his lips quivering, L felt as if magic was coursing through his veins.

They kissed, and they both fell into sweet bliss.

* * *

 **Okay, okay, I know, I know, writing this took way, way longer than usual, and it probably doesn't measure up as well as the other chapters. I'm sorry! School's been taking up so much time, I've spent the rest of that time sleeping, and I have writer's block! T-T Curse you, writer's block!**

 **On the flip side, though, I should be able to crank out a few chapters within the next few weeks because of the break I have in December.**

 **Again, sorry times a million for the ridiculously long wait, and I hope that the people who chose to give this fanfic a chance are still reading. It's twelve at night at the time I'm writing this, so I should probably get to bed... and I should probably study for that French exam I have on Friday, too... heh, heh. Fun fact, though: The French word for Friday is _vendreidi_! **

**Well, I hope to get the next chapter posted soon, and since it's so late in my time zone right now, goodnight and sweet dreams!**


	13. Valentine

**Yes, I know that Valentine's Day is months away, but I really don't care. I just want to write fluff, because, you know, fluff is freaking amazing. Plus, it feels right to write fluff after L and Light's kiss last chapter. Also, more updates might be coming your way because I have a decently long winter break, and I am VERY, VERY excited. It feels so good to just sit around like a potato and sleep and not have to worry about school . ^^**

 **Chapter 13: Valentine**

* * *

Light was sitting on the couch of his apartment on an average, mid-February Saturday, and he was flipping through the mail. With his feet resting on the coffee table in front of him while he put the junk mail aside, Light was searching through the envelope pile for bills and important letters from work. Something interesting caught his eye, though.

Raising his eyebrows in curiosity, Light lifted an envelope to find a pink one with no return address. It just had Light's address scrawled in messy, disjointed handwriting on the front, and Light recognized the handwriting immediately. It was L's nightmarish writing without a doubt. He should've known what was going on when L asked Light what his address was a few days ago. L used the alibi that he wanted to drop by Light's house some time or another, and it made sense. They had just started dating and had known each other for months, so it was only natural for L to ask where Light lived.

Light should've figured it out, though, that L wanting to hang out with Light more wasn't the only reason for L asking him where he lived. Gingerly putting the rest of the mail on the coffee table and opening the pink envelope sent from L, Light's eyes widened in slight surprise as he read the short message on it written in L's messy doctor's handwriting that was barely legible.

The short letter read, _"Hello, Light. This is L, although based on your deduction skills, I'd assume that you've already figured out it was me. This Tuesday, on the 14th, if you'd like to of course, meet me at the park at six P.M. Remember that park where we played our first game of chess? I'd like to play another round with you, and not only that, as embarrassing as this sounds... I'd really like to go on a date with you... I know it sounds silly, but I'm a bit scared, as this relationship has just started. Still, if you can make it, I look forward to seeing you there. Happy Valentine's Day, Love, L."_

Light felt a smile creep onto his cheeks. Setting the letter in his lap, Light reached out for his phone to send L a text message. He was still trying to get used to the new number, though, since L changed his phone number every few months for obvious safety reasons. He quickly texted L, saying, _"A date on Valentine's day sounds great! See you there."_ He finished off the text with an emoji of a face blowing a kiss, and he chuckled. It would probably take a while for L to reply because he and Light normally texted each other only at night, as L was excessively busy during the day, even on the weekends, but Light felt the excitement for Tuesday build up within his chest.

He shook his head at himself, and he remarked quietly, "Jeez, I never thought that I'd actually end up liking this holiday." It was true. Up until now, Light always viewed the holiday with dread as he awkwardly shuffled through the streets, eyeing all the couples and wondering if he was one of the only people who had no desire to date whatsoever. Well, L had challenged that mentality quite a bit, not that he minded.

Sighing, Light leaned back into the couch, and he wondered if this was even supposed to be. Was he even supposed to meet L? The chances of anyone befriending L seemed so unlikely, so far off into one's imagination, that it seemed impossible, but it wasn't. Light was a living, breathing example. It was astonishing, though, that L was actually interested. _The_ L. What had warranted L's interest in Light, anyway? And what had warranted his interest in L? Light didn't really know, but he was grateful nonetheless. He was grateful that he was falling in love with such a wonderful, wonderful person. Light never thought that his and L's relationship would take a turn towards the romantic, but when it did, he couldn't have been happier.

* * *

Over the past few days, it had gotten significantly colder than before, although, it was to be expected. After he had received the letter from L, cold rain started pouring from the sky, which indicated a possible cold front, not to mention that the weather channel predicted for the temperature to drop for a little while before it got warmer again.

Shivering slightly and sitting on the park bench he had sat on months ago, Light waited for L to come, fondly remembering not only the first time he and L met each other outside of coincidence, but the first time he was defeated in chess. Moving the pieces as the delightful memories of their first match washed over him, Light moved the pieces around in an attempt to entertain himself before L arrived.

Sure enough, a few minutes later, L was trekking through the snow in a huge, over-sized, puffy coat and a wool hat, making him look downright adorable. L waved, and Light waved back, prompting for L to come over.

They were now sitting across from each other, each of them arranging their respective chess pieces. In his attempts to be polite on their first date, Light let L have the first move, but then smirked in amusement, "Even if I let you have the first move, I'm still going to win."

L gave Light one of his rare, mischievous, child-like grins, and he carefully moved a piece.

Light did the same, and that was, without exaggeration, the beginning of the longest chess match of his life.

* * *

"Mrg..." Light groaned, his head leaning on his hand as his eyes threatened to close themselves. He glanced at his watch. It was one in the morning, and he was pretty sure that his eye-bags were just as bad as L's. It wasn't even Valentine's Day anymore. L had stopped a few times to ask Light if he wanted to stop or at least take a break with concern lacing his voice, but Light just shook off his exhaustion and told L that everything was okay. He just had to finish this match. As mentally tired as he was, he couldn't bring himself to stall a chess match just because he wanted to fall over and pass out snoring. Light knew that he was being just a little too stubborn, but he wanted to end the match with a clear winner and loser instead of having a stalemate or stalling.

"We could stop, you know," L tried again, although he probably wasn't motivated by fatigue. L looked as alert as he would ever look, as he was used to staying up this late, and no matter how much he thought about it, it always amazed Light that L could function on that little sleep.

"No, I want to continue," Light waved off L's apparent uneasiness for his well-being, but then, the familiar, smooth, slightly adorable monotone filled his ears.

"But I won," L pointed over to Light's toppled king piece.

Light, blushing in embarrassment that he hadn't realized that he lost, rubbed the back of his head sheepishly, and he felt his eyes grow heavy.

"It's a bad idea to play somebody when you're tired," L commented, and Light, too burnt-out to argue back, leaned forward against the edge of the table as he felt the cold nip at his face and hands, which tingled yet felt numb at the same time.

Light heard the crunching of snow, and then a surprisingly warm figure was next to him. That warm figure allowed for Light's head to rest in an equally warm pair of hands, and he looked up to find L, who was gently smiling at him.

With a fluid, quick, and out-of-nowhere movement, Light found that his vision had flipped upside-down before returning to normal, indicating that he had been rolled somehow. Before he could react, Light was scooped up into L's snug, shockingly strong arms, and it was then that Light's mind processed that he was being carried bridal-style through the snow.

Light started to protest, and he exclaimed, "Hey! I- What- What the hell?! I didn't even know that you were that strong! How're you carrying me?!" He could feel his face heat up, only for it to be met by one of L's allusive snickers.

"Relax," L said, and even though his voice sounded neutral, Light knew that there were at least some emotions behind it. What L said next, though, demonstrated that, once again, they could pretty much read what the other was thinking without so much as a simple deduction, "It's so late that no one's around to see us like this. Besides, I think you'll pass out before we even go anywhere if you choose to walk there, and I don't want for you to be fainting on me."

"Says the person who fainted because they didn't sleep enough," Light retorted. Despite the fact that he sounded irritated, he actually found it quite sweet. Still, it didn't answer his question of how L was able to carry him.

"I'm stronger than I look, you know," L answered Light's question, and Light, once again, shuttered at how effortlessly L could tell what he was thinking. Although, L was probably just as creeped-out at Light's ability to read his thoughts as Light was creeped-out by L's ability to tell what he was thinking about, to be fair. It was a mutual thing they didn't really talk about, because that conversation would probably take a turn for the creepy, as it was equal parts terrifying and paranoia-inducing to have someone else dissect your thoughts without even batting an eye.

Light's face, to his dismay, was still heating up at the rate of an over-powered heating-lamp's, but secretly, he snuggled into L's toasty body. L always looked so pale and cold, but he was a surprising source of warmth in the mid-February snow. Light liked it, although he still wished that L would let him walk by himself. L was right, though, in a way. Light's mind was incredibly disjointed and unreliable at the moment. Light felt that if he tried to walk, he'd just tumble over, so maybe it was for the best.

Eventually, they made it to the edge of the park, and it started snowing. The was beautiful, and it perfectly framed the moment. Light could feel the cold snowflakes press against his skin, and he appreciated the heat that snuggling with L provided. Like powered sugar, the snow collected on top of both of their coats, and L stuck his tongue out to get himself a snowflake.

"Pretty snow..." Light muttered out in his half-asleep state.

"Let's get you somewhere with internal heating," L decided. "We'll call Watari to pick us up from there."

"Sounds like a plan..." Light yawned. He didn't have the energy to reject, so he just went with the flow.

* * *

With that, L carried Light into a local restaurant, and although the waitress had a questioning look, she decided not to ask, despite the odd sight of a man carrying another one bridal-style.

"Table for two, please," L awkwardly requested. It was kind of strange, in a way, that he was able to go up to some random person and talk to them, even if it only lasted for one sentence. It was quite an impressive feat for him, really. Perhaps Light's social skills were rubbing off on him, or perhaps Light just being there made him feel a little more confidant. In any case, the request for the table went much smoother than expected, but L was still very surprised to find that anything was actually opened at this time. Besides the grand total of two waiting staff on duty, it was just him and Light.

L's heart skipped a beat, and now, he found that he was the one who was blushing as he set Light down.

They were seated at a glass and wooden table for two, and they were across from each other, Light's sleepy eyes staring cutely into L's. Then, Light's stomach grumbled, and L couldn't help but feel a pang of guilt about it. He should've made Light at least eat dinner before dragging him off to that game of chess that he was pretty sure was equivalent in time to the universe's age; in other words, the chess game felt like it took forever. Now, L knew that he was over-exaggerating, but that game really was the longest one he had ever had in his entire life. He wasn't really bothered by the length, though, especially if he got to play the game with Light. At this point, he probably would've walked to the four corners of planet earth (well, if earth had any corners; he was fully aware that the earth was round, so just let him have this analogy) and back again for Light.

The feeling of willingness to do anything for someone... it seemed... kind of odd, to be honest. L would do anything, and he meant _anything,_ for Watari, but he had never felt this same feeling for someone else before, especially not in a romantic context. Still, it was nice, because it sent a warm, fuzzy feeling through him that pleasantly settled in his stomach like a newly-eaten sweet.

The guilt over keeping Light up so late was eating away at him, though, so L coughed out, "Erm... Light, I... I apologize if this has inconvenienced you in any way, but-"

"Don't be silly," Light grinned sleepily, his eyelids looking heavy and barely able to stay open. "I'm tried, but it was really fun. Besides, I was the one who wanted to stay. You asked me if I wanted to leave, remember?"

"O-oh..." L's cheeks were now tinted with a fiery red.

"L, do you think that anyone else is here?" Light asked as he saw the waiters heading towards the back.

"No, I don't believe so. I'm amazed that anyone is even willing to work at this time," L replied.

"Not including you," Light teased.

"Oh whatever," L rolled his eyes, although on the inside, he found Light's comment painstakingly adorable.

After L said that, Light partially got out of his seat, pushing the chair back a few centimeters as he did so, and he kissed L square on the lips. He lingered for a bit, too, but he quickly pulled back when one of the only two waiters here entered.

"Welcome to RamenHouse, I'll be your waiter for tonight. Our special today is the chicken ramen, if you're curious," he set two menus in front of Light and L, and L quickly snatched it up and flipped through to see if there was anything sweet. The waiter left them alone for a while, and L stuck his tongue out at the menu upon learning that the sweetest thing on the menu was sweetened tea. He found that there were no sugar packets, either, meaning that even if he did get tea, he wouldn't be able to sweeten the tea to his liking.

L pouted a bit and set the menu down on the table, but he wasn't too, too annoyed. He could just restock himself on sweets later, and he had already eaten beforehand, anyway.

A little while later, the waiter returned and wrote in Light's order, but just as he was about to leave to get Light his meal, there was a soft crack, followed by darkness. L jumped, but Light, illuminated by nothing but the light of the first-quarter moon and the distant, faint stars in the nighttime sky, looked a bit surprised but relatively unfazed.

"Y-you okay?" Light asked L.

"Y-yeah," L nodded, his voice coming out more startled than he would've liked.

"Looks like the power's down..." the waiter paused, probably to think of something. "I'm not really sure whether or not your order's gonna get through, sir."

"It's fine," L could hear the small tinge of disappoint in Light's voice, but to the untrained ear, he sounded relatively chipper for this situation. Light was truly the actor, which L found very impressive. Well, if Light's detective career didn't work out for him, he could always turn towards the film industry, but for now, L kept that musing to himself.

L, reaching into his back pocket to see if he could find something, perked up when he wrapped his fingers around a small peppermint. He was going to eat it on his way home, but at this point, Light had wormed into such a special place within his heart that L would even give up a peppermint for him. "Here," L whispered, and he gingerly handed Light the sweet from across the table.

"Thanks," Light whispered back, and he unwrapped the candy and popped it into his mouth. Light have L that gentle, slightly pleased smile, and L blushed, trying to hide his face from the waiter as he did so. That proved as rather easy, though, since it was so dark.

Turning his head so that he was facing the floor to ceiling window that made up the storefront, L saw a thick, caked-on sheet of white and ice. He started shivering, too, because the heating was knocked out.

"Here," Light tucked his scarf off his neck and slid it across the table to L.

"N-no, I can't," L whispered. "You need your winter clothing, too."

"It's fine, take it," Light insisted, and he nudged his scarf towards L. "Please? For me? You're shaking so badly that I can see your outline shutter, even in the dark."

"O-oh," it was then L realized that he was shaking like a loose, dead leaf that was fluttering in the violent, harsh wind before a storm. Still, he couldn't. He understood Light's concern, but he didn't want for Light to catch a cold. "You'll catch a cold if you don't put that thing back on!" L hissed, and it came out much snappier than he had intended.

"L, really, I'll be fine," Light said one more time. He pushed his seat out, stood up, and walked over to L. Before L knew it, Light had carefully wrapped the scarf around L's neck, and he smiled and gave L a little peck on the lips in the dark. The waiter couldn't see because not only was it pretty dark, but he was conversing with the other waitress on what to do.

"Love you," Light whispered before retreating back to his seat. When he got back to his own seat, he innocently smiled as if he had not just secretly tucked his own scarf around L, and L finally gave in, giving Light a semi-annoyed, semi-touched pout.

"Besides," Light remarked, and he held the candy outside of his mouth with his tongue, "I owe you for the candy."

"Oh, it's nothing, really," L replied. "It's just a peppermint."

"But seriously, I'm worried that you're going to catch a cold," Light repeated his earlier worry.

"I don't need someone to baby me!" L groaned as if he was some child who was arguing with his father about putting on a jacket.

Light just grinned from ear to ear, clearly amused by L's resistance. L let out a huff and leaned back into his seat, texting Watari to pick them up and hoping that Watari would arrive before Light caught a cold or something.

* * *

They were now back at their hotel room. The hotel had some extra food, so Light had finally gotten a very quickly-eaten dinner. When they were driving, L had originally planned to drop Light off, but his boss texted him, explaining that there was no work on Wednesday because it was too dangerous to drive to work the next day, not to mention that much of the staff was snowed in. That caused a change in plans for the two lovebirds, and while it was partly because Light was freed up for the next while, he, L, and Watari were slightly scared to drive back to Light's place, choosing to go back to the hotel instead because it was closer.

Luckily, the hotel was one of the buildings that actually had power, but it was still a bit chilly **(A/N: Because, you know, for some reason, hotels are always freezing when you step inside. Why're they always so cold?! Does anyone know?)**.

Watari was sitting in a chair and knitting who knows what. He was further away from the gentle fire than L and Light, but even from his distance, it was still pretty warm. L was on a couch, and after a few joking suggestions between the two of them, he somehow found himself snuggling with Light and sitting in his lap with a blanket draped around him. Light's arms were firmly wrapped around L's waist, and his head was comfortably nestled on L's shoulder.

L turned his head to face Watari, but the old man just smiled as if he and Light hadn't just confirmed that they were a couple.

Watari mouthed towards L, "I already know."

That made L blush in embarrassment. It wasn't because he was sitting on Light's lap; it was because he had chastised himself about whether or not he should tell Watari his sexuality when Watari already knew. L felt a little better, though, when Light tenderly pressed his lips against L's neck, half-kissing it and half-sucking it. An electric sensation ran up L's spine. He had never experienced something quite like this before, but it felt strangely amazing.

"Where did you learn how to do that?" L lifted an eyebrow. If he remembered one of the conversations he and Light had before correctly, Light had mentioned that he hadn't dated since high school.

Light shrugged, and he removed his lips from L's neck and went for his lips. L grinned happily into the kiss, and he squeezed Light tightly.

Watari coughed, and L and Light pulled away with a jump. "I'll leave you two alone," Watari gave L a mischievous, strangely playful smile.

L's face turned crimson, but Light gave him a reassuring look that said that they'd have a good night. Light pinned L down into a pleasant, magic-like kiss. Light giggled, and he straddled L before allowing for L to flip him over so that the detective was sitting on his hips. L leaned down and kissed Light, and although it started out as gentle and tender, it gradually picked up pace as things grew a bit more passionate.

With that, they had themselves quite a pleasant night, and they hoped that they wouldn't keep the other hotel guests up. L had to wonder how Watari fared, but he was grateful for the box of condoms Watari had secretly left on the chair he was sitting in as he left the room. Watari must've caught onto everything long before either L or Light did...

It was very nice, and L, as self-conscious as he was, couldn't help but enjoy himself.

* * *

It was morning, and Light slowly opened his eyes. He squinted a bit at the light of the rising sun, but his eyes eventually adjusted. L was snuggling next to him, and the large blanket from earlier covered both of them. Light smiled at L's still sleeping form, knowing that it was one of the few times L had gotten a decent night's sleep.

"Morning," Light stroked L's hair, and L, being the light sleeper that he was, gradually lifted his still eye-bag-infested eyes, but the fact that L looked more refreshed than usual gave Light some relief.

L, who was shirtless and had a small hickey on his neck, yawned and sat up, obviously a bit sore from last night, but nonetheless, he looked quite a bit cheerier than he normally was.

"Was that nice?" Light asked, and L nodded as he kissed Light on the forehead.

"Hey, Light, I have a question," L cocked his head to the side as he said that.

"Yeah, what is it?" Light answered.

"I have a particularly difficult case... do you think you could help?" L asked. "You don't have to, of course, but since you don't really have work today, I thought that maybe... possibly... we could spend a little more time together..."

"That sounds good," Light nodded. Don't get him wrong, it was nice when he got a break from the stresses of work, but he was at the same time eager to work on an investigation, especially with L.

"Alright... thanks for keeping me company," L's face was now flushed with red.

"Thanks for being interested," Light chuckled, and he tackled L back onto the couch.

"Aw... it's nothing, really," L rolled his eyes. "I really like you, you know?"

"Yeah, I do too," Light grinned.

"Love you."

I love you, too."

* * *

 **Sorry that this chapter is shorter than usual, but there's not really more I can think up to write at the moment. I'll leave what happened between L and Light during the night up to your imagination... This fanfic is rated T, so... yeah... and I'm not really in the mood to bump up the rating just for this one scene. Anyhoo, I hope you enjoyed that overwhelming fluff, and there're free tissues in the back if you need any. ^^**

 **Please favorite, review, follow, etc. if you like this story, and I'll see you next update. Hoary for winter vacation! :D Other than that, have a fantastic day, and I hope you liked this chapter despite the shorter than usual length!**


	14. Panic

**Chapter 14: Panic**

* * *

Light impatiently drummed his pencil against his desk, it creating a soft thudding sound every time the pencil hit the wooden table. He was sitting in his cubicle at work, as usual, and he was trying to solve the latest murder case that had hit his area. L was working with the NPA on the case as well, but many of the NPA's detectives wanted to push L back. Light didn't blame them, though, despite the fact that he was now _dating_ L. As endearing as L was, he was painstakingly difficult to work with when cast into an uncomfortable situation. L would obviously be a bit panicky when addressing a room full of agents, even if he did so from a computer screen, but the most infuriating part about working with L was how well he hid his anxiety when talking to people.

L was certainly an actor, Light had to admit. Although, that act of confidence L had around the NPA detectives made him seem cold, inconsiderate, and bored. Light knew that this was far from the truth. L was, honestly, one of the most trustworthy, loyal, and lovely people Light knew, but that was only because he knew the real L. When L was behind his computer screen, he put almost everyone at wit's edge, and many considered dropping L's assistance from the investigation altogether.

This would be a problem, Light realized, because the NPA and the world in general had become so dependent and so accustomed to L's brainpower that if L was booted out, Light wasn't sure whether or not justice would be delivered as efficiently as it previously was when L was still involved. Light worked with talented, creative people every day, and the amount of hard work everyone put into each case proved that. But, saying that, L was an essential asset to the NPA, and getting rid of him would be like shooting yourself in the foot.

Plus, Light wasn't too fond of everyone despising his boyfriend of two months, even if they were dating in secret.

"Light," one of his coworkers stuck their head into Light's cubicle, motioning in the direction of the meeting room, "L's called for another emergency meeting. He wants all the top agents in the meeting room right now." Upon inspecting his coworker's face, Light could detect a glint of well-hidden frustration, which was a strong indicator of the resentment many of the people at Light's office had against L.

"Okay," Light, nevertheless, nodded, keeping his observation to himself, and he got up from his rolling chair. Light was slightly distraught about what everyone thought of L, but that would have to be a dilemma for later, since he was at work and had to remain professional. He turned towards his right and rushed towards the meeting room with his coworker, although he was slow enough to avoid ramming into as my people as possible. He had to apologize a few times, too, when he and someone else brushed shoulders, and he couldn't help but shoo away this strange, awkward feeling in his stomach. Now, in the current state of his and L's friendship, it was so weird talking to L in the meeting room, especially considering the fact that he and L were closer than anyone else could imagine.

Light and his coworker quickly filed into the nearly pitch-black meeting room, along with a few other frantic agents. They all assembled and sat at an oval-shaped table, and there was a huge screen at the front of the room. The bright light of the screen combined with the darkness hurt Light's eyes a bit, but they eventually adjusted. Light felt his heartbeat increase as he saw what was displayed on the screen: a large, gothic-print letter "L".

L's voice, which sounded alien and as if it didn't belong to a human because of the voice distorter, chimed through the speaker of the otherwise dark and quiet room, "I thank you all for joining me here today. As you know, there's been an on-going murder case that hasn't been solved for approximately two months."

Someone interrupted and explained, "But we have some evidence-"

"Evidence that is utterly useless," L's distorted voice shook the room, and it made the agent who had piped up sit back down, annoyance on the person's face. L continued, "I'd like another overview of everything. If I can have the background of the victim, that would be most useful."

"But we don't even know who the victim is! The body was pretty much burned to ash!" someone else exclaimed.

"I already have that arranged. The victim is Yukimuro Ryosei, aged forty-two, no prior involvement with the law, clean record, was a grocery store clerk, no evidence of any motivation to kill him, appears completely innocent. I would like more information, is that clear? Meeting dismissed."

"But," someone objected, "where do we start?!"

"I believe that all of you are crafty enough to squeeze at least some information out. Now please, I need some time to mull over things just as much as you do," L countered, and the large screen at the front flickered out, leaving everyone in darkness.

There were a few grumbles since L was no longer able to hear them, and everyone chaotically filed out. Finding more information about the murder victim would be a challenge for sure, especially because while the NPA was operating within legal boundaries, L had many ties to the underworld, which was another reason why L frustrated the NPA so much. The agents didn't think that it was fair that L had more resources while he left the NPA with almost no information, and Light might have been biased because he was friends with L, but the difficulty of L's job was probably why he was always so rushed with giving out information. The difficulty of L's job and his workload was certainly unbearable for an average person, and the pace he had to solve cases at must've been astonishing. Being the world's greatest, and probably the world's busiest, detective tended to take its toll on an individual, and L was no exception, no matter how much of a genius he was.

L was always tired, barely got any sleep, was always under stress and the fear of being murdered, and was incredibly lonely. From what Light knew, he and Watari were the only people L regularly interacted with, which Light found to be pretty heartbreaking. Light, in the back of his head, always had the worry of L one day breaking. He had already seen L break down in tears a few months ago, and L, no matter how strong he seemed, was very emotionally frail and vulnerable. Not to mention, dealing with the constant hate of the people he worked with couldn't be healthy for L's mental health, which was already probably very poor.

All Light could do for now, though, was sigh, and text L at nighttime and hope that their nightly texting sessions made L feel at least a little better.

* * *

L took a deep breath, exhaled, and repeated. He clumped up the bed-sheets of the bed he was sitting, or rather crouching, on, and he ground his teeth so hard that he almost broke skin on his lip. He had just finished the meeting he had with the NPA detectives, and even though no one had blatantly told him, he could see the annoyance in their eyes, as reading body language was second nature to him.

He couldn't help being so terrible at public speaking. Whenever he spoke to an audience consisting of anyone other than Light or Watari, he felt something tight squeeze his chest and something heavy pool in his stomach. The feeling was hard to explain, honestly, but it was most definitely there. The nervous energy within him was still lingering inside of him, festering in his chest even after the conference he had carried out from behind his computer screen. To add to the stress, he had another meeting with a police agency in Brazil in about five minutes, and even after that, he was balancing six more cases.

On the bright side of things, though, seeing Light's understanding, subtly smiling face comforted L, even if it was only by the tiniest, most insignificant bit. None of the other NPA detectives or officers even saw the smile, because everyone in the room was facing the computer screen at the front, but L saw. He smiled back, too, and his heart accelerated by what he estimated to be twenty-two percent for approximately four seconds. It was strange and took some getting used to, but Light had this interesting effect on him. L, for some reason he couldn't explain, liked it. He liked it a lot, actually, more than he wanted to. He didn't want to be this tangled up with his emotions...

 _...much less fall in love._

But there L was, smiling like an idiot whenever Light was around, and although he knew that this feeling towards Light wouldn't last forever, as he was just experiencing the initial attraction, he knew that Light's company always made things more interesting than they would've been otherwise. That was what L really enjoyed about Light. Light was a challenge, someone that needed to be thoroughly dissected in order for anyone to fully understand him, and even then, Light held so many secrets. You actually had to think in order to figure out what was going on inside his head, and he was far less predictable than anyone L had ever encountered.

L, not caring whether or not he would knock the computer in front of him off the bed, let himself fall into the mattress and daydream for just a few seconds about Light, blushing as he did so. Yes, he sounded like a high-school student in love, and as much as he didn't care for people of that age group, he found that he could relate to them somewhat when it came to love. Light was L's first friend, and surprisingly, his first love. L didn't know how long it would last or where this relationship would take him, but it was enough to spice up his life a little and even provide a little comfort, which was more than good enough for him.

Then, his phone buzzed, and L abruptly sat up, knowing who it was even before looking at the phone-number. It was, as expected, Light.

The message read, _"Hey, so, I know that the last time you saw my family, things got a little awkward, but do you think that you'd like to see them again, next Saturday? You don't have to, but my mom's been dying to see you since you fainted. Love you very much, and see you around._

That was certainly unexpected. Giving out a grunt, L slouched more than he usually did and stared at his phone for a while, unsure of what to do.

* * *

L had no idea as to how in the world he had gotten himself into this. His first meeting with Light's family was bad enough, and he wasn't sure if Light's sister, whom he believed to be named Sayu if he remembered correctly, would tolerate him for the evening. She was weirded-out enough by their first encounter, so L wasn't exactly sure how she'd react to his diet. In fact, L wasn't exactly sure how Light's family would react to his strange mannerisms, but for Light, L was willing to put up with this situation for the night.

"Ryuzaki! I'm so glad that you're able to make it to dinner today! I haven't seen you in months, how've you been?" Sachiko, her spatula still in her hand, opened up her arms to squeeze L tightly and lift him several inches off the floor as soon as she opened the door for him, and all L could do was helplessly cringe at the physical contact. He had only ever allowed for Light and Watari to hug him before this, so being hugged by his boyfriend's mother was quite a stretch.

"T-thank-you, ma'am," L managed to choke out, and even though he didn't really have a religion, he prayed to god that Sachiko would put him down. Even though the woman was small in stature, she was much stronger than she was letting on. Although, to be fair, it wasn't too difficult to pick up L's lanky frame, so Sachiko being able to lift L up wasn't too far-fetched.

"Ryuzaki," Soichiro was less expressive than his wife, but when Sachiko released him, L and Soichiro shook hands. Still, L hesitated for a split second before touching Soichiro's hand, and he internally winced as their hands made contact. L felt some sweat trickle down the back of his hand, and he awkwardly shuffled into the dining room along with Light, his mother, and his father. They sat down in a small, designated dining area, which was located at the corner of the kitchen. It had four main seats, but an extra one was set up to accommodate L. L thanked them for their courtesy and, after pulling out his chair, sat down right next to Light's sister, who was already eating.

Light consistently chatted about his family, and although L knew that Sayu wasn't a terrible person, things had been a bit awkward the last time they met. Sayu probably thought that L was this weird alien from Mars, and L wasn't all that at ease when around Light's family in general. The fainting spell L had the last time they met didn't help, either.

"Hey, aren't you Light's friend who fainted at the grocery store a few months ago?" Sayu asked while her mouth was full of food. L just gave her a small nod, feeling too out of his element to talk to her much.

"Sayu, calm down," Light rolled his eyes as he sat down across from L, and he gave L a nearly undetectable smile. That made L's cheeks flare up in pink for the smallest fraction of a second, and Light gave him a wink. Sayu sat there, oblivious to it all, and L knew that his and Light's so far secret relationship was something that needed to be addressed. They couldn't keep hiding their romance from Light's family forever! Light's family would eventually find out, since Light's father was the chief of police of all people, or the secrecy of their relationship would put such a strain on it that things wouldn't end well, leaving the mess to blow up in the faces of Light's family. So, either way, they were going to find out one way or another.

Soon enough, everyone had settled themselves down at the table, and L was thankful that Light's mother had factored his eating habits into consideration when she offered L a slice of cake. L eagerly, yet carefully, took the plate of cake out of Sachiko's hands, and he tried his best to not immediately stuff it into his face. Eating as slowly as he possibly could, L gently slid his fork into the slice of chocolate mousse cake, broke off a tiny piece, and lifted it up into his mouth. Sayu looked relatively unnerved at the way he sat, but L ignored her. Light's parents seemed to not care that much, though, and they were talking about Soichiro and Light's work.

The conversation quickly turned towards L, much to L's dismay, but he took it as best he could. Sachiko piped up and let out a bit of small-talk, as most people did, "So, Ryuzaki, I heard from Light that you do detective work."

"Yes," L nodded, his expression blank. He wanted to appear more interested in the conversation, but all he could do was stare at his cake and uncomfortably scrape his fork across the place. He really hoped that Light's family wouldn't mind and that they wouldn't immediately ask for him to leave the house and never spoke to him again.

Silence. As expected.

L had this thing where he tended to drive everyone he came into contact with away. He supposed that was why Watari and Light were basically his only friends, not that he wanted more. From cashiers to small children to the public as a whole, anyone who came across L did their best to avoid so much as interacting with the weirdo who looked like a walking corpse and ate bucket-loads of sugar, but he would be lying if he said that he wasn't satisfied with the status quo. His un-kept hair that seemed to have a mind of its own, his ghost-like skin, his eye-bags, the way he sat, the way he ate, the way he acted, it drove the vast majority of people away. L was lucky enough to run into Light and Watari, two people that looked past his bizarre behavior, but when it came to Light's family... He knew one thing for sure, though. The involvement of Light's family, after everything that had happened, certainly complicated things.

There was the sound of eating utensils clanking against everyone's bowls, and everyone at the table eyed each other, expecting for someone, anyone, to say something.

Sayu, of course, was the one who broke the silence. No, broke wasn't the right term. To describe it more accurately, Sayu took the silence, gripping it tightly in her hands, and slammed it onto the floor and let it shatter into a million pieces. Her always hyper-sounding voice rang through the room, "So... Ryuzaki, you've noticed that Light's still single, right?"

L winced. Light had mentioned at one time or another that his family constantly bothered Light about his love-life and were more concerned about it than Light himself, but he hadn't expected for the question to pop up so early into the night. L must've been out of it today, because he had failed to factor this into his calculations about how tonight would go. He had only expected to sit through a relatively dull dinner, with a little small-talk sprinkled in here and there, but because of his and Light's secret dating situation, L felt a beat of nervousness race through his heart.

Light, who made L at that very moment suddenly believe in the concept of luck, practically saved L, "Jeez, you still have to bring that up? Ryuzaki's right over there, you know."

Sayu rolled her eyes, and she shot back with, "Oh blah, blah, blah, I'm pretty sure Ryuzaki already knows that you're single. You guys are so close, apparently, anyway."

Light and Sayu fired a few insults and retorts at each other, beginning a very typical sibling squabble. L, despite himself, couldn't resist from chuckling as the two argued. As perfect as he thought Light was, Light was definitely still human, and the fact that he sometimes failed to get along with his sister proved that. At the same time, though, L internally sighed, wishing that he had a sibling that he could argue with. With his whole childhood situation, though, he wasn't too sure whether or not having a sibling would be ideal. Still, that didn't stop himself from being slightly envious of Light and Sayu, who had no idea how lucky they were to have an annoying brother or sister.

Sachiko had a bemused expression on her face, but she somehow got the two Yagami siblings to get back to their dinner.

"How do you do it?" L, regrettably, thought out loud. He was still getting used to not saying his thoughts out loud when he was around other people, which was kind of sad, he thought, because this was a skill you normally developed when you were a child.

Sachiko raised an eyebrow in curiosity, and she asked, "What is it, Ryuzaki?"

"N-nothing," L stammered. "J-just thinking out loud." Crossing his fingers underneath the table, L hoped that Sachiko would buy it. She did, thankfully, and L let out a subconscious sigh of relief, letting his shoulders roll back slightly as he did so.

He really was wondering, though. He wondered how parents could deal with their kids so effectively, as his father had never handled him very well, and L had the scars to prove it. Those scars weren't just physical ones, either.

His view of his father was strange. As much as he wanted desperately to find his parents, if they were still even alive, he wanted just as much to avoid the topic altogether, and he was genuinely petrified. L, who was still paranoid of his father jumping out from behind the wall and snatching him away, knew that all of these fears were irrational, that his father was probably somewhere far, far away and could never find him, but even knowing all of that, he, much to his frustration and disgust, couldn't reason himself out of the terror that haunted him every night.

He had all the deductions, the logic, and he knew that there was no reason to be afraid, but that didn't stop him. It was so irrational, something L hated to death, but he couldn't help it. The fear was still there, and it existed within him in the form of both paranoia and touch aversion with nearly everyone. That was why he cringed when Sachiko hugged him. That was why he hesitated when shaking Soichiro's hand. He was scared, scared that someone would raise their hand and slap him hard on the cheek. No matter how much he berated himself for being terrified despite the fact that he was safe, or at least as safe as _he_ could get, he couldn't shake the terror.

He should've been scared of other things, like the criminals that ran amok throughout the world or the countless murderers that wanted his head, but the fear of his father was what preoccupied most of his worries. It was so bad now that he had trouble sleeping at night, and the insomnia didn't help one bit. It was an utter nightmare, even after he had escaped his childhood.

L began to shake, and this shaking definitely wasn't from the cold. Soon, even though no one else noticed, his fork, which he gripped firmly, was clattering rapidly against the plate that held his cake. L tried to push the feeling away, but it was no use as the shaking got worse.

 _"What the hell, L?!"_ L internally screamed at himself in a desperate attempt to get himself back together. _"Pull yourself together! All you're doing is having dinner with your boyfriend's family! Calm down, calm down, calm down! Calm down, I say!"_ L repeatedly told himself in his thoughts to calm down, but he was doing the exact opposite. There was this strange, heavy feeling in his chest, and it almost felt like a heart attack. His stomach was doing flip-flops, and he leaned weakly against the table.

Hoping that no one noticed, L did his best to keep a low profile, but he began shaking more profusely than before. He tried to steady his arm long enough for him to break off another piece of cake, but his fork quickly dropped onto the tablecloth as he continued shaking. His breathing was the next thing to become uneasy. His breaths became much shorter than they had previously been, him wheezing and panting in and out as quietly as he could, as he didn't want to lose it in front of Light's family. It was horrible enough crying in front of Light, but in front of his family? There was absolutely no way he would let that happen.

His breathing picking up pace at a scarily rapid rate, L suddenly felt a burning sensation in his chest. The room started spinning, and he heard ringing in his ears. The nervous sweat from before practically turned into bucket-loads of water, which poured down his face like tears, and it was almost as if his pores were firing out bullets made of cold sweats. Speaking of the cold, he felt a sudden chill, and he had the sudden urge to grab the nearest warm object and roll with it.

As the room continued to dance circles around him, things only got worse as L tried to hold it in for the next few minutes, even though those minutes really felt like hours. His chair felt unstable, as if it was vibrating, but L knew that his body was the thing vibrating the chair, as everyone else was seated in place. It was just him. He felt a crushing feeling of loneliness, followed by a hit of anxiety, and the voice of his father exploded in his eardrums. L resisted the urge to cry, but it was getting harder by the second.

His eyes wide open and twitching, L finally gave in and fell back, panting and gasping for air and contorting his head back so that his neck was bending his head over the chair. He limbs, which were numb, fell limply along with him, and the feeling of panic gradually began to rise. It was like the panic in his chest was smoke, rising up into his throat and threatening to choke him.

"Ryuzaki?" Light had finally noticed, making L shutter as much as he could in his state of panic. L was helpless, though, and his breathing continued to quicken, his pants and whines now, although soft, consuming the room. "Ryuzaki?!" Light repeated L's cover-name once more, but L didn't reply. The feeling of anxiety intensified, flooding him so that he had this drowning sensation.

"Ryuzaki, are you alright?" Sachiko took notice as well, but again, L didn't answer. L, not understanding what was going on, held back tears, and he was inhaling and exhaling so violently that he looked like he had just run a marathon. Clutching his chest, L managed to lift his head from the chair and lean forward, his head resting on the table.

"Ryuzaki!" Light immediately jumped out of his seat and rushed over to L, not bothering to push his seat back in. Light tried to hold L's head up, and he gently stroked his tangled, raven-black hair. Leaning close to L's face, Light asked, as quietly as possible so that L wouldn't be startled, but not so quietly that L couldn't hear him, "What's wrong? How can we help you?"

L gripped onto Light's wrist, squeezing it tightly as the feeling of dread grew, and L felt slightly sick, as if he wanted to vomit. L used his other free hand to clutch his stomach, to prevent himself from hurling, and L helplessly collapsed into Light's arms. This caused for the two to tumble to the floor, L landing awkwardly on Light, and L bit his tongue to stop himself from groaning.

"I'll put him on the couch," Soichiro suggested, and he gently scooped L up, walked into the other room, and set him down on the couch. L just curled up into a small ball, embarrassed that he was having this breakdown in front of Light's family. What would they think now?! They'd probably deem L as weak and avoid seeing him again, something that made shame rush through L's mind.

"Shh... shh..." Light knelt on his knees and rubbed L's back, leaning his head closer to L's as an act of comfort.

"What's happening to me...?" L whispered, although his mind felt fuzzy and muddled because of his panting, so he wasn't sure whether or not he could fully process any answer Light gave him.

"I... I don't know," Light admitted, and he moved his hand towards L's head, sliding it in L's hair and comfortingly weaving his fingers through the strands. "Anything you need?"

L shook his head, and Light helped L sit up on the couch. Light raised his hand up to L's forehead, "Hmm... you're not running a fever..."

"How do you feel?" Sachiko questioned, and she shuffled a little closer to L.

"Dizzy... c-can't breath very well..." L explained. "What's... what's wrong with me...?" He didn't want to die, but he had the feeling that something was suffocating him, which only intensified as time went on. His mind became more unclear, as if his thoughts were wading through mud, and he detested this sense of confusion and the fact that he didn't know what was happening. Even as a child, he could deduct what was going on. He could always figure out what was wrong, but at the moment, his head was too unclear to think of anything.

The anxiety just continued to build in his stomach, rising to his chest afterwards, and Light was staring at L, wide-eyed, and calling his name in a fruitless attempt to bring L back.

Light's family, even Sayu, desperately tried to get L to calm down, everyone talking in soft and gentled voices. Light was the closest, sitting on the couch and rubbing circles into L's back, Light's mother was worriedly hovering over L, and Light's father and sister were standing in front of him, seemingly unsure about what to do.

At this point, L was on the verge of hyperventilating, and his breathing didn't show any signs of settling down.

L could feel the trepidation of everyone within the room, the general fear inside the house choking him, and as much as he wanted for the ordeal to end, he couldn't stop himself. It dragged on for what felt like an eternity, and L's breathing was still fast and shallow.

"Shh... shh..." Light tried once more to console L, and as comforting as Light's touch was, L still felt like death. L, without thinking, snatched up a green pillow so tightly that the stuffing nearly popped out of the casing. L curled up into a tighter ball than before, surrounding the pillow as if it was the only thing anchoring down his sanity, and tears formed behind his eyelids. L shut his eyes tight, trying his best to hold back sobs, and he hated nothing more at this very moment than the feeling of helplessness he had and how pathetic he was.

"L, would you like some chamomile tea? It doesn't have any caffeine, but it might help you relax," Sachiko offered. L nodded, and he managed to muster out a "yes". With that, Sachiko rushed to the kitchen, and a minute or two later, L could hear the kettle steaming, a feeling of guilt weighing down on him. He didn't want to be a bother to Light's family, but he couldn't do anything to help himself.

Several minutes later, Sachiko returned with a cup of tea in her hands, and she set it in L's hands, which were still shaking, after Light helped L sit up. L wrapped his pointer-finger and thumb around the handle of the teacup, and he raised it to his lips, taking a small sip. L didn't get a caffeine buzz, but it was certainly nice. L felt the beverage glide down his throat and plop into his stomach, which helped him a little, but his breathing was still uneasy.

Things dragged on, and about fifteen minutes passed. L had calmed considerably, but he wasn't out of the woods yet. He still felt terribly shaken and wasn't sure if the feeling of panic would return. Giving out one last whimper, L was overcome by exhaustion, and he leaned on Light.

Gradually, his breathing began to return to normal, and Light gave L a look of concern that conveyed more worry than Light had ever expressed in the past. "Ryuzaki... I... I-I..."

L raised his forefinger to Light's mouth, took a final gulp of his now cooled tea, and shushed Light to reassure him, "I know, I know, I don't know what happened, either." L look down, his expression downcast, him still struggling to breath normally, "I... I really hope that I haven't been too much of a bother to you..."

"You're not, we care about you," Light then gave his sister a glance, "even Sayu does." L grimly chuckled before his face became somber again.

"Light's right," Sachiko smiled. "What ever happened, you're still welcome to come here anytime."

L saw a genuine, caring look in Sachiko's eyes, and against his better judgement, he determined that Sachiko really meant it. "T-thank-you," L, even though it pained him, gave Sachiko a small smile. He'd only seen her twice, but he knew for sure that she was quite the person. Her eyes were so kind and filled with joy, and like Light, he felt kind of safe around her.

"It's not a problem," Sachiko sat down next to Light, and she, extending her arm, gave L a pat on the back.

"Although... that leaves one question," L sighed. "What... I know that no one really knows, but what... what happened to me...?" L looked down at his hands, his senses still a bit off due to what had just happened, and he leaned back into the couch, feeling the softness of the cushions and pillows against his back.

"You know," Sayu suddenly said, he voice surprisingly worried, "you might want to get that checked out by a doctor. There could be something going on."

That made L panic a little on the inside. It wasn't anywhere near as bad as before, but as silly as it seemed, he hated doctors. It probably had something to do with the fact that he often had to forge fake names and IDs and whatnot in order to even get into the office, since anything about his true identity had been erased long ago. He'd have to do some hacking within the system and possibly fake a few phone numbers, nothing too drastic, and he guessed that the majority of his hatred for doctors came from them just generally creeping him out.

Light most likely noticed the glint of fear in L's eyes, because Light firmly told L, "Ryuzaki, I know that you're probably not really fond of doctors, but... could you go, for me? I'm worried about you." It might've looked kind of suspicious with Light gripping onto L's wrists and being within kissing distance of L, but in the heat of the moment, L didn't notice. That look on Light's face, though... L couldn't possibly say no, especially if it would calm the worry on his friend's face.

"O-okay..." L relented, knowing that confronting this was important, but that didn't stop him from feeling extremely weak and useless. He wanted so badly to just get over it and get on with his life, but after this had happened in front of Light's family, L wasn't sure if he could. Even though the ordeal was over, the fear of it happening again was still lingering, and L's mind was still spinning like a merry-go-round. The shaking, although less intense and frequent than what it had previously been, continued to prevail throughout L's body, and his breaths were only in the process of calming down. This incident would most certainly keep him up at night, and even though he had severe insomnia, the nervousness around his sudden bout of anxiety would prevent him from getting that one hour of sleep Watari normally forced him to go through.

Going to the doctor's office was inevitable, and as much as L had postponed a doctor's visit, he couldn't avoid it forever. That didn't make him feel any better about being forced to visit the doctor's office, though.

Cursing the events that had unfolded within the last half hour, L had a heavy weight of dread on him that revolved around the doctor's visit he'd have to make.

Dammit. He hated doctors.

* * *

 **Sorry if the ending was rushed or if this story's getting repetitive (Please tell me if it is!), but, as usual, I'm having some issues with writer's block. T-T I don't really know if this has happened to you before or not, but throughout the day, when I don't have access to my computer, I'm itching to write, but when I sit (I mean lay) down to write, my mind just goes blank. Is this normal...?**

 **See you next chapter, and after this chapter, which is a bit on the more depressing side, the next chapter will, as you've probably guessed, revolve around L going to the doctor's office. I've always imagined for L's visits to the doctor's office to be kind of comical, mostly because of all the hurtles he has to jump through in order to simply get a doctor's appointment, but also due to the hilarity that can potentially ensue when L is interacting with a medical professional, especially when the doctor finds out just how unhealthy L's habits are.**

 **If you want, try and guess what happened to L in the latter half of the chapter.**

 **Goodbye for now, and you might have to wait a while for the next update, since I'm going back to school tomorrow. R.I.P. my free-time. And sleep. T-T**


	15. L's Visit to the Doctor

**Chapter 15: L's Visit to the Doctor**

 **Yeah. . . it's one A.M., isn't it? Status: sleep schedule is still garbage.**

* * *

 _"Tick-tock. Tick-tock. Tick-tock goes the clock,"_ L thought as he rocked himself back and forth in his seat, the nervousness about the doctor's appointment he was about to endure making him shake in anxiety. He could feel the terror about the doctor's appoint creep up his spine. He hated doctors so, so much. He hatred for doctors didn't have any rational grounds. There was no reason he could clearly define, nor, if he had any reasons, could he back them up. It was as irrational as his love for Light, but it comforted L just a little bit to know that most people feared doctors as well.

The waiting room for the doctor's office wasn't much. It was like any other waiting room, with some uncomfortable wooden chairs which L awkwardly squatted in, a few fake potted plants, and a receptionist desk. The receptionist desk was built into the wall, and L could only see and hear the lady that worked at the desk through a small windowl. She was talking about something on the phone and wasn't really paying attention to anything else, and for that, L was grateful. The same couldn't be said for everyone else, though.

Watari was there, of course, and the old man was sitting next L and was reading a newspaper. Watari offered some sense of security, but the mother across the room was staring at him with a look of a mixture of concern and terror written all over her face. She looked afraid, and her eyes were wide, her attention split between her own child and L. She was staring at the detective as if he was going to murder her and her kid, and she clutched her purse tightly to her chest. He could even see the bead of sweet that ran down the side of her head, while her child ignored L, occasionally giving him a glance, but he quickly returned to his coloring book s few seconds later. The child was on the floor, the coloring books and building blocks of the waiting room scattered around him, and he was laying on his stomach next to a small table, which also acted as a bookshelf and lamp-holder.

There was also a man, and he looked to be about middle aged. He, too, was with his children, two girls, and he looked just as nervous as the woman, although he hid it much better. He was staring at L, but not in the obvious way most people did. Instead, he would pretend to stare off into space, all while subtly rolling one of his eyes to carefully monitor L. His fists were clenched, and he used his other eye to watch his children, probably because he was concerned for their safety, not that L blamed the parents in the room for fearing him. L had even scared himself a few times when he looked into the mirror with his ghostly figure and dark, deep eyes that were the very definition of death and apathy.

L quietly sighed, and he regretted his decision to get to the appointment early. He couldn't stand it when people were late, so naturally, he got there about fifteen minutes before the appointment. That was a mistake. Looking at it in hindsight, he should've done what Light did: wait until the last minute to get to your appointment in order to cut the waiting time, not that he'd return to the doctor's any time soon.

Watari had shown concern for him, insisting that he needed a checkup on not only his physical health but his mental health as well, so when L told Watari what happened, the caretaker, unsurprisingly, demanded that L go to the doctor's office as soon as they could book an appointment, terrifying L to the bone. He had known beforehand that going to this place was inevitable, but it took a while for the whole weight of the situation to sink in. Once it did, though, L felt like a cornered animal. He trembled and felt the strain of being here as the clock on the wall ticked away along with his ever decreasing confidence in him getting out of the office with his mind in once piece.

Suddenly, the door at the front of the room opened, and a man walked into the room through the door, a clipboard in his hands. He wore a nurse's suit, and he had black, smoothly combed hair, although he did look relatively bored with life and done with the day, based on the uninterested look in his eyes.

"Hideki Ryuga," he called out as he read the clipboard. L's false name of choice raised a few eyebrows because there was a pop idol of the same name, but L tried to look away, awkwardly shuffling out of his seat and into the doorway with the nurse as he did so. Watari followed.

There was a short, harshly lit hallway before him, and feeling his shoes squeeze his toes as he walked, L followed the nurse, their footsteps resonating off the walls, which was broken up every few feet with a doorway.

"Please have a seat," the nurse instructed, still staring at his clipboard, and without even looking up from his papers, he exited the room, leaving L to himself, who was frozen in terror as it had been so long since the last time he had been to a place like this.

He... he hadn't been here since he was a child, when he was found wandering through the streets-

 _"No, L!"_ L scolded himself, not wanting to repeat the attack of anxiety he had a week prior at Light's house. _"Keep yourself together. You are NOT going to lose it in front of a doctor. You are NOT going to break down and cry in front of someone after seeing them for only two seconds. You are NOT going to freak out and scream about how you don't want for your father to come jumping out from behind the wall. You are NOT going to be a coward. This is a public place, and you definitely CANNOT blow your identity."_

However, L was, in a way, right. He couldn't reveal even a sliver of personal information. He and Watari had spent a week just fabricating an identity for L to use, and if he got caught, he wasn't interested in being arrested for identity fraud. If he did get caught for that, it would be kind of ironic, too, since he had dealt with at least one or two dozen identity-theft cases.

As the minutes passed, L, in his head, went through ways to keep himself calm, _"Okay, if you want to keep yourself from freaking out, you will at least have to calm your breathing. Calm your breathing, L... Calm it!"_ With that, L's breathing slowed down, although his breaths were still dangerously shallow, not that anyone would notice, so it was good enough for him. _"That will have to do. Now, what can you do to get the doctor to not be suspicious of you? First of all, you have to smile."_ L shuttered at that very thought. _"Then, you will have to stir up a bit of small talk, and remember to not have a murderous smile on you while you talk... Hmm... I don't have too much of a clue about what to do beyond that, though. I should've come with a more solid plan for my interaction with this doctor! I should've-"_

"Mr. Ryuga... Sir, excuse me, are you alright?" finally, L realized that someone was talking to him, and he jumped at the sight of the person who had entered the room while he was in the middle of one of his legendarily long thinking sessions.

"O-oh... ma'am, I'm incredibly sorry," L swallowed down any nervousness lingering in his stomach, and he stared at the woman in front of him, trying to appear as collected as possible. His facial features relaxed, he forced for his heartbeat to calm, and he immediately quelled his shaking, all in an attempt to appear nonchalant and serene. He internally winced when his voice shook, too. He was so used to being so vulnerable around Light that he must've been rusty on how to act when anyone other than Light was in the room, and L mentally slapped himself.

Of course, he definitely didn't show the doctor his internal struggle, and she didn't appear to be aware of the commotion whirling inside of his head, which relieved him very much.

L leaned in a little closer to read her name-tag, which said "Doctor Akagi." She had a smile, although that was most likely protocol for dealing with every patient, and he did his best to not fall into the temptation of fidgeting and biting his thump out of nervousness. L was rigid in his seat, not daring to move too much so that the doctor didn't pick up on any of L's involuntary emotional cues.

L had completely forgotten about the little plan he had hatched up to convince Dr. Akagi that he was a normal person. He couldn't smile, act normal, or even give off the impression that he wasn't about to cry. He had faced the world's worst criminals. He had talked to disgusting rapists, he had spied on murderers while under cover, he had shot someone with a gun once or twice, and he did it all with a poker-face of steel.

When confronting a doctor, though, L couldn't help but tremble.

Dr. Akagi must have noticed this because she gave him a reassuring look and said, "A lot of people are nervous when they go and see a doctor, but it's nothing to worry about. We'll just be doing some blood tests, catching you up on any immunizations that you might've missed, and giving you a general checkup. You're Hideki Ryuga, right?"

L nearly fainted when he heard her mention needles, but he simply nodded to confirm Dr. Akagi's question about him name.

He remembered when he had his first checkup as a child, after the people at the orphanage had found him alone and abandoned, and he started shaking again. The memories were almost too much, but L had too much to lose if he expressed any kind of emotion. So, instead of losing himself in his internal struggle, he bit down any tears and locked his body into place. He was tempted to close his eyes, but he knew that it would reveal how weak he felt.

The first few minutes weren't that bad. Watari was standing in the corner of the room, reading a book, and the Dr. Akagi poked and prodded L with tools and probes and who knows what. L had briefly considered going into the medical field when he was younger, but apparently, doing detective's work was his calling. L sometimes wondered what it would have been like, though, if he had chosen a different career path.

He could've been a top surgeon. He could've been a CEO. Heck, he could've been fucking president if he wanted to. He found that being one of the most intelligent people that had ever lived definitely had its perks, and it definitely meant that L's career options were almost unlimited. He wondered what it would've been like if he had never picked up his first case and became the world's number one, two, and three detectives. He wondered what it would've been like if he wasn't constantly fearing for his life.

Still, even if his life wasn't a constant cluster-fuck of him running from the world's top criminals, it most certainly wouldn't have been normal because inherently, L wasn't normal. First of all, his deduction skills and intelligence were staggeringly high, so high in fact that he was the one of the smartest people, if not the smartest person, alive. Second, he was in the vast minority when it came to sexual orientation because only 3.8% of the population is estimated to be LGBTQ+. Thirdly, his mannerisms were quite odd. He had many behaviors that made it ideal if he avoided the general public as much as possible for fear of judgement.

So no, even if he wasn't a detective, he never could live a normal life. He couldn't think or interact normally. Some people didn't even consider the way he loved to be normal. He couldn't settle down with a wife and two kids. It just wasn't him. It never would be him. He was L, one of the least normal people you could meet, and to top it all off, even his death probably wouldn't be normal. He was probably going to get killed at one point or another because of a case . Although, now that he had Light in his life, he was trying his best to stay alive for his lover's sake.

"Hmm, I recommend that you get a flu shot. Would you like to take it now? I'll take some blood, too," Dr. Akagi questioned, and for dramatic effect, she gloriously held a needle in the air, wrapper and all.

L nearly broke out into cold sweats, but he kept his composure long enough for Dr. Akagi to turn to Watari.

"Yes, we'd like to do that, as we might not have time in the future," Watari answered for L, and L's heart nearly shattered into a million pieces. Of course, he wasn't being serious when he said this, but Watari had betrayed him! He had let him fall victim to the needle! If he wasn't trying to keep a low profile, L would've let out a string of curse words and protests, but partly because Watari wouldn't approve and partly because it could potentially blow his cover, L kept his mouth shut.

His poker-face was rock-solid, but inside his brain, his emotions were a train-wreck, not that this situation was uncommon. All detectives had poker-faces of steel, so L didn't have a problem hiding his fear. However, his insides were a vortex of panic from hell.

Watari must've noticed this because he came out from the corner he had been standing in, stopped in front of L, and after giving a comforting smile, he let L grip onto his hand.

"I know, I know," Watari sighed as L gave him _that_ look, the look he always gave Watari when he wasn't happy about whatever Watari was doing to him, but L knew that it was for the best, even if he obviously didn't want to do the action that would benefit him.

As the doctor prepared the needle, L's form began shaking much more than he would've liked, and he shut his eyes tight.

"It'll be over quickly," Watari rubbed L's back tenderly, and as much as Watari helped, L wished that Light was there as well as Watari to help him through this. At this rate, L would need nothing short of the support of the world to get himself through this. Yes, he had faced much worse in the past and had encountered much more dangerous adversaries, but he felt as if needles topped every fearful thing he had experienced in his life.

His vision was a block of black as he squeezed his eyes shut tighter and tighter. He used his free hand, the one that didn't have a death-grip on Watari's arm, to cover his eyes, almost as if the pain would be less if he couldn't see what was there.

Out of all the things that could kill him, he was sure that needles were the most likely candidate. He didn't like needles. He didn't want for them to exist. He knew that vaccines were important to the health of the general public and that not getting one if you had the ability to was completely and utterly irresponsible, but-

"And it's done," Dr. Akagi chirped happily, almost too happily, as L felt her pull the needle out. He winced as the needle exited his skin, and he took a deep breath, glad that the worst of it was over.

"See? It wasn't that bad, was it?" Dr. Akagi smiled, and she discarded the needle after gently sticking a band-aid to L's arm.

L let himself look the tiniest bit embarrassed. Just the tiniest bit. Poker-face of steel, remember?

The doctor let herself chuckle, and she reassured him, "Don't worry too much about it, Ryuga; I've encounter adults who are even more afraid of needles than you are, so there's nothing to be ashamed of."

L could only timidly nod. Then, a suffocated silence gripped the three people in the room, or at least it gripped L. Watari and the doctor seemed to be quite comfortable with each other, and they had even began chatting as L sat there and awkwardly twiddled his fingers.

"Alright, we need to weigh you now," Dr. Akagi ushered L off the table he had been sitting on, and while he felt quite uncomfortable, he tried not to wince when she touched him. He knew that he'd have to get used to people touching him eventually, but unfortunately, today wasn't the day.

L had always felt insecure about his weight. He had always been like a feather. He was so light and skinny, and he didn't like the way that some of his bones stuck out. However, since he rarely went out into public before he met Light, it was safe to say that it was a previously minor problem. It was different now, though. Light was trying to get L to become more open and to venture out more, even if it was just a trip to the bakery or a drive to the grocery store, and L found himself growing more self-conscious of his body than he thought that he ever could be.

"Step on the scale, please," Dr. Akagi instructed. She already looked a little nervous about the whole weighing aspect of the appointment because even a non-medically-trained professional would recognize that L was quite underweight.

With some apprehension, L stepped on, closed his eyes, and bend his head to the ground, although he was careful to not curve his spine too much because he was afraid that Dr. Akagi would do something to L if she found too many things wrong with him.

"Okay," Dr. Akagi gave out an anxious sounding sigh, and even with her eyes closed, L felt something rest on top of his head. This was probably one of the scales that measured both height and weight.

A few minutes later, Dr. Akagi cleared her throat and gave an uncomfortable wheeze, "Um... Mr. Ryuga, I don't mean to scare you, but you're about fifty kilograms. Now, I would expect this if you were female or if you were a lot shorter, but you're of average height, or 179 centimeters. This gives you a BMI of 15.6, which is dangerously low. You should weigh anywhere around 60 to 80 kilograms, so you seriously need to gain some weight."

She turned to Watari, "Do you know of Ryuga has a restrictive diet?"

"Not that I know of," Watari admitted, "but he does eat a lot of sweets."

"Hmm... I certainly recommend that you cut down on the sugar and try to add more variety to the things you eat. Is he a picky eater?" Dr. Akagi questioned.

"Yes," Watari sighed. "Very."

"If you're able to, try to get him to eat healthier, even if it's just a little bit. Even small changes help. I'll email you your blood test results tomorrow, although I am a bit nervous about them. If the blood results a bad enough, I might have to refer you to a specialist of some sort, depending on what's wrong," Dr. Akagi scribbled some stuff down on her clipboard, and she massaged her temples, probably because of how shocked she was of L's health.

She asked another question, "Do you know any reasons as to why Ryuga is this way? Is he on any medications that might limit is appetite? Does he have a physical or mental illnesses that might attribute to this? Because I'm very concerned for his long term well-being."

"Actually," Watari replied, his voice uncharacteristically shaky, "that's why we booked an appointment. Ryuga has insomnia, but I don't believe that's why this... this thing happened. You see, I wasn't there, but when Ryuga was at his friend's house, something bizarre happened. Ryuga, could you describe it?"

L nodded. He tried to keep his voice neutral, but tried was the key word. He was trying, and failing, to speak as he normally would, and he hated how much his words trembled, "You... you see, about a week ago, I experienced this wave of panic. It was as if something was choking me. I was breathing quickly, and the feeling lasted for about fifteen minutes. I remember being exhausted afterwards because I fell asleep on the car ride home, and it was generally very unpleasant."

"Can you describe an symptoms that you displayed while it happened?" Dr. Akagi tilted her head to the side, appearing to be deep in thought.

L thought for a few seconds before replying with, "My heart was beating very quickly, and I could barely move. I was shaking. It... it felt as if I was drowning... I... It was just..." L couldn't find the words to finish his sentence.

"Do you know anything that could've triggered it?" Dr. Akagi asked.

"Um..." L nibbled on his thump just a little bit to help him think. "I was thinking about something that had... happened... in the past..." L glanced a Watari, who rubbed L's back in a comforting manner.

"Would you like to open up about it?" Dr. Akagi's voice suddenly went gentle and sympathetic, which made L slightly worried. What was wrong with him?! He had to know!

"I... I..." L took in a large breath, held it for several seconds, and exhaled loudly. "No..." was all he could say. He knew that thinking about his father triggered whatever had happened back at Light's house, but this was sensitive information that he didn't want to disclose.

"I understand," Dr. Akagi nodded as she jotted down more things on her clipboard. There was a long pause before she began speaking again, "Ryuga, do you believe that you had a panic attack?"

"A panic attack?" L jumped a little at the mention of one, and his already wide eyes became the size of saucers. He hadn't thought about that possibility before, but it made perfect sense. Some of the agents that worked under him had experienced panic attacks before from the shear stress of a case. It appeared that L himself was no different. L looked at his dirty, worn sneakers, his expression a mixture of downcast and shame. He felt so weak and powerless, and he hated it.

Dr. Akagi must have noticed because she reassured him as she scribbled even more information on her clipboard, "Panic attacks are nothing to be ashamed of. However, you might want to book an appointment with a psychiatrist if you believe that you're struggling with your mental health. Here." She reached into her pocket and gave him a business card, "I have a friend who's a psychiatrist, here's his card, and I really recommend that you give him a visit to see if there's anything wrong, and if you don't have a mental illness, therapy sessions can really help anyone. Remember, your mental health is just as important as your physical health."

"Yes, we understand," Watari stepped in and spoke when L didn't say anything.

L crossed his arms and looked away, his posture conveying that he was trying to close in on himself, and he felt a sudden, indescribable weight slam on top of him. He knew that he had some issues, not that he had ever actually tried to deal with them, and for the longest time he had ignored both his physical and mental health. It wasn't that he didn't have time, despite the fact that he was very busy with cases. It was just that he didn't want to sit down with the doctor and hear them talk about all the things wrong with him. He didn't want to deal with his feelings and health and all that. He didn't think that he deserved it, and he didn't want to have to face it, either.

Ignoring the problem was just so much earlier than trying to fix it. L had never been good with handling all the feelings within him, so he simply tried to run away from them. He knew, though, that running was never effective. He didn't run away from his cases, cases that threatened his life and sanity, so why was he running from something that every person that had ever existed had? Why did he feel so much safer just running from everything that ht felt?

"Ryuga, are you alright?" Watari circled behind L and patted him on the shoulder.

L nervously bit his lip and cracked the joints within his neck uncomfortably. He let his hair fall in front of his face, and he turned away, as if his voice had been knocked out of him by Dr. Akagi's suggestion of getting help for his problems.

"Well, I think that concludes this appointment, and I really recommend that you visit a psychiatrist, alright?" Dr. Akagi gave some parting words and L and Watari exited the room. Watari said that they would. All L could do was nod.

With that, they exited, and the car ride back to the hotel was absolutely silent.

When they had, once again, arrived at the hotel, L did what he normally did. He plopped himself down on the sofa, pulled out his computer, and began typing. However, he was typing little more than a random string of letters and numbers. He just had to get his mind off of the doctor's visited that had occurred earlier that day, and typing, he decided, would serve as a sufficient distraction.

Watari didn't do much about it. L knew that Watari knew L quite well, and L also knew that Watari knew that L needed his own space, especially after an event such as an awkward romp-around in public. With that, Watari started doing what he normally did, too: run errands, clean a little, and go knit who knows what. Seriously, what did Watari knit? L could always see Watari knitting, but he never got to see any of Watari's creations. It was so strange. It was almost as if Watari's knitting was used as a background plot device in an author's story, but before he could get too existential, L shook off the offending thought.

L and Watari had settled back into their regular routine, and it had been several hours since that doctor's appointment from hell. To be fair, all doctor's appointments were hell in L's eyes, but this one had been particularly bad and nerve-grating and awkward. Awkward. So, so awkward.

Shaking his head to rid himself of thoughts about today's previous events, L went back to typing, a soft yet irritating to anyone but him clicking noise coming from the keyboard.

Suddenly, L's phone rang, and he jumped. L was about to turn the call off when he noticed the caller ID, and he sighed in relief that this wasn't some mafia boss demanding that he stopped working on a case, an action which would thus force L to change phone numbers. It hadn't happened before, but L could never be too careful. Luckily, he had managed to push aside the paranoia of his fever dreams and gathered enough rational thought to not decline the call.

L picked up the phone and answered in a playful, almost mocking tone, "Hello? World's first, second, and third detective on the line. How may I help you?"

"Ha, ha, very funny, jackass."

L could practically see Light rolling his eyes, and L couldn't help but giggle at that. Then, his tone grew serious again.

"I believe that there is a reason that you've called, otherwise you wouldn't have called, correct?"

"Yeah," Light replied, then sighed. "I was worried about you, that's all. When I saw whatever had happened to you at dinner the other day, I honestly became painfully worried. I still am. I am your lover, after all." L could feel Light trying to inject a bit of humor into that last line, and while it eased the tension by just a tiny bit, L still felt that his joints were stiff and that his head was spinning from the earlier events of today and that panic was building up within him with every passing moment. Panic about the moment when his father would spring up again and ruin his life and relationships and take L back to that hellish place he had had to call home and beat L to pulp.

"I appreciate the concern," L started.

"But," Light stole the word right from L's lips, and L shuddered, once again, at how Light could practically read L's thoughts, even when they were talking on the phone.

"But, I assure you, I have everything under control," L tried to sound reassuring to Light. Tried, but failed.

"L, I know that something's up, okay? So you don't have to keep hiding anymore. I want to know you. You're my first, best, and boy friend. You're the first person other than my family that I've really been able to care about, yeah? You can tell me anything. I know that because you told me that you love me."

There was a silence, but for the first time today, it wasn't painfully awkward. It was just a silence for contemplation, and L thanked God that these pauses in speech was a habit that Light was accustomed to.

"I do love you, and yes, I suppose that after all of this, I can tell you practically anything," L reasoned.

"So tell me," Light begged. "Please."

L felt the strain of Light's voice from the phone.

"Don't judge me, okay?" L made Light promise.

"What! Of course not! I literally have no right to judge you, as you're the first person I came out to after I realized that I'm gay. You're the first person I've seriously dated. You've seen me do some embarrassing-"

"And cute," L chimed in with a smile.

Light groaned, although it was more of a playful than annoyed one, "Okay, some embarrassing and some _cute_ things."

Light spat out the word "cute" almost as if he didn't like the way it tasted. L laughed. After the initial lovey-dovey-ness of their relationship, L discovered how much Light hated it when people called him cute.

Light continued, "But the point is, you have nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. If I do make fun of you for whatever happened back at dinner with my family, then frankly, I don't deserve you."

Another pause. Again, not awkward, just contemplative.

L finally took lead of the conversation again, "Okay, point taken."

"So?" Light asked. "What did the doctor say?"

"Well, she said that I should definitely see a psychiatrist," L said. "She said that I might have something going on with my mental health, although I find that to be completely preposterous."

"No you don't," Light interjected.

"Smart-ass," L huffed, but Light was right. "Anyway, she said that I could have had a panic attack, and she told me to look into it more. Satisfied?"

"For now," Light replied, then sighed, "As I said, I'm just worried about you, that's all."

"You want to meet on Saturday?" L suddenly asked, more surprised at himself than Light probably was surprised at him.

Light didn't respond for a few seconds, but at last he said, "Yeah, that sounds great. Where?"

"Um..." L thought for a little bit before deciding, "There is a new modern art museum that opened up a few weeks ago. Do you want to meet there, and do you know which one I'm talking about?"

"Yeah, I know. The Japanese National Hall of the Fine Modern Arts, right? Sounds good," Light agreed. "Although, I must ask you, why a modern art museum?"

"Because I feel just as confused about modern art as I do about my emotions," L explained. There was an amused laugh on the other side of the phone.

"Sounds good. See you then. Love you."

"I love you, too."

L hated to think that at this moment, he was blushing like a schoolgirl.

"So it's a date?" Light gave out one last inquiry before hanging up.

"Yes," L replied. "It is very much a date."

"Well, I look forward to it, then."

* * *

 **Holy crap, it's been a long time since I've updated . . . *crickets chirp* Also, I know that the art museum name sounds generic, but I don't go to modern art museums that often, alright? And sorry if this chapter has a lot of grammatical errors. It's just that I'm still trying to get back into the grove of things, and one of those things is actually gathering the motivation to edit properly.**

 **Light: Seriously? It's been over a year?**

 **Me: Yes, yes it has. *more crickets chirp* I have turtles.**

 **Light: What?**

 **Me: I said, I have turtles. It's been so long since I've updated that now, I have two pet turtles, red eared sliders to be exact.**

 **Light: You're taking proper care of them, right? *looks like he's about to dial animal protective services***

 **Me: Of course I am! I house them in two separate tanks, the larger one in a fifty-five gallon, the other one in a twenty-nine because she's quite small (long story on how I got her that's for another day, and she's a rescue). I definitely have plans for enclosure upgrades, too. I have basking docks, UVB and UVA, a water heater for the little one, a varied diet with the correct phosphorous to calcium ratios, etc., etc., etc., so for all you turtle enthusiasts, I know how to take care of them and am completely aware of how long they can potentially live, alright? Also, either get your pet reptiles from ideally a rescue because there're so many reptiles who've been re-homed due to improper care, even more who die due to said improper care, and many who even get released into the wild. NEVER DO THAT. PLEASE. Or get your reptile from a reputable breeder who actually cares about the animals. AND DO YOUR RESEARCH ON THE SPECIFIC SPECIES AND PREPARATIONS BEFORE BRINGING HOME ANY PET, NEVER BUY FROM A CHAIN PET STORE OR ROAD-SIDE VENDOR, AND MAKE SURE THAT YOU CAN CARE FOR YOUR PET'S ENTIRE LIFESPAN, AND BE AWARE THAT SOME PETS HAVE THE VERY REAL POSSIBILITY OF OUT-LIVING THEIR ORIGINAL KEEPER. THEY ARE NOT YOUR POSSESSIONS. THEY ARE LIVING ANIMALS THAT HAVE ACTUAL FEELINGS.**

 **Light: *looks slightly terrified of me* Damn, you've gone far down the turtle rabbit hole. . .**

 **Me: *is watching turtle videos as we speak* Oh, rabbits are also animals who commonly receive improper care.**

 **Light: This is scary. You're scary, you know that?**

 **Me: Yes, I agree.**

 **Light: Why are you suddenly so passionate about the welfare of turtles?**

 **Me: Because every turtle is a majestic, awesome, adorable shell-baby who must be protected.**

 **Light: *is even more scared of me than before* Imma go . . . byeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. *runs away screaming***

 **Me: *is now dubbed as the crazy turtle lady***


	16. Proud

**Chapter 16: Proud**

* * *

"You have a date! Light, you have a date! You have a date!" Sayu's excited screams rang through the neighborhood and, quite possibly, the universe, and at the very least, Sayu's cries of joy rattled her apartment complex. Sayu had moved out of their parents' house and into an apartment only recently, and while the siblings' mother and father had been sad to see their only daughter leave the family house, everyone knew that Sayu gaining a foothold of independence was for the best.

In the meantime, though, Sayu ran, jumped, and sobbed tears of joy, for this was the first time her big brother had willingly gone on a date in actual years.

Of course she'd be excited. After that Misa-Misa disaster that had occurred during Light's high school days, Light had decided right then and there to give up on love all together, an action which lead to Sayu's mild devastation.

However, despite knowing all of this, he still couldn't believe the elation in her eyes once he told her the good news. Granted, at this point, this was far from the first date he had been on with L, but he just hadn't bothered to talk to anyone about his love life until now. In fact, his family knew so little about his dating situation that they didn't even know that L was another man, and Light had no intention of telling anyone.

It wasn't that his family had shown any particular hostility towards the LGBTQ+ community, with Sayu being one of the most open-minded people that Light knew. Light himself had never possessed any qualms about or discomfort around the community, either, even before he realized his own sexuality, but against all of this, against all reason and logic and observation, Light still could not find it within himself to tell anyone.

Not acquaintances, not coworkers, and not even his own family. He couldn't, and he didn't know why. There was something unnerving about coming out, as if he was about to open Pandora's Box every time he considered such an action. He was by no means afraid of people's reactions. He was too talented to be fired from work over this, too attractive for most people to care, and his family was too close to let something as silly as Light's gender of interest tear everyone apart. Still, something stopped him, prevented him from being honest with the people around him, but he was used to that.

He was used to hiding, hiding his flaws, his turmoil, and, yes, his love life as well.

Light had never been an open book. No one had been able to read him. Well, at least no one until L showed up, but that was entirely different. Light didn't need to open himself up to L; L could crack open Light and still have brain power left to spare, just like how Light read L just as easily as he could breathe. Never before had Light been so swept away, so at ease, and with L, Light finally had the opportunity to rest after a lifetime of pretending.

Light didn't know where this habit of pretending came from. It just came naturally to him, he guessed. It was automatic, his auto-pilot, as if this was his default setting. But L, L had, with swift and nimble fingers, quickly switched that default setting off. L had managed to tinker, in a good way, with Light. L, at long last, managed to crack Light's mask. No, actually. He didn't crack it; he shattered it. After Light's lifetime of comfortable yet lonely self-defense, L had navigated his way through the maze of Light's heart. And L was there in the man's heart, there to stay, and something told Light that L wasn't going anywhere anytime soon.

Light shook his head playfully, then stuck his tongue out and crossed his arms at Sayu in a teasing manner, and he leaned against the wall, watching his sister with boundless energy run around. She clearly had joy written all over her face.

"Oh stop it," Light said, the conflict that churned within him hidden behind playful banter. "You're starting to sound like Mom."

"Shut up, this is exciting. Let me have my moment," Sayu, in a quite dramatic, over-the-top fashion, feigned hurt as she pretended to fall from Light's comment.

Then, Sayu stopped, her playful demeanor still there but turned down from an eleven to a solid eight, "Where are you and the lucky lady going, anyway?"

Light subconsciously winced when Sayu said "lady." He and L had talked about it before, and L completely understood that Light wasn't ready to come out yet. But, it still felt so, so wrong when Sayu defaulted to using female pronouns when describing Light's love interest. Light knew that Sayu was open-minded and that she'd correct herself in a heartbeat if he told her, but something, something about being unable to come out while at the same time being very aware of his love for another men, gnawed away at Light, eating him from the inside out.

It was then he realized that he hadn't told anybody. Yes, he held the awareness that he had, for now, remained in the closet, but the full weight of it didn't come crashing down until this moment.

 _He hadn't told anyone about his sexuality yet, not even his own family._

Light wanted to tell them. He wanted so badly to proclaim to the world that he was gay and that it was okay, but he couldn't. This suffocating state felt like screaming to the world behind a glass wall, and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't get anyone to hear. It frustrated him, frustrated Light to an almost unimaginable extent. It frustrated him to be so aware of himself yet still so unable to share such a significant part of his person

Sayu continued bouncing around excitedly, completely unaware of all the thoughts that raced through Light's head. It wasn't as if anyone would notice Light's turmoil, though. Light hid it well, too well, in fact.

Light's face remained calm, with a gentle smile and relaxed, almost sleepy-looking eyes. His arms sat in a crossed position, his hands not clenched, and overall, his body language conveyed tranquility. L would've been able to see right through this facade, but for everyone else, this was more than enough.

It was easy. It was so, so easy to pretend. Light didn't know if pretending came so easily to him because of his intelligence, or because he had done it for so long, but he was sick of pretending. Despite this, however, he couldn't stop. It was just too easy.

"We're going to an art museum," was Light's simple reply. "And please, I know you mean well, but don't follow us there, okay?"

"Alright, I won't."

"Promise?"

"Yeah, yeah, promise."

* * *

It wasn't often that L went flower shopping. In fact, if it wasn't obvious enough, L hadn't been, and hadn't been for a while, the hugest fan of going outside in general.

But, he had to do this for Light, L reminded himself. It became the only thought that powered him through this torturous thirty minutes at a flower boutique. Watari was waiting outside in a parked limo, of course, so at least he didn't have to walk home, but L so seldom shopped that he had to reverse-engineer the process every time.

What did he have to do again? Oh, right. First, he'd have to select the flowers. That in itself wasn't too bad, although it would've been even better if there weren't so many people around. Second, L would have to make the short trek up to the counter, which, again, wasn't ideal but also not absolutely awful. The third and final step, however, sent anxiety shooting up his spine: he would have to actually interact with the cashier in order to pay for the flowers.

The cashier, an old woman who actually didn't look too dissimilar from Watari in appearance, seemed not too intimidating, and she gave every customer a smile as they approached the register. For all L knew, though, she could've been a spy sent out to track him down and strip him of his anonymity in front of the world. Did it sound like L was paranoid as hell? Yes, and he agreed not to argue against that, but could you really blame him? Being a world-famous detective with a top-secret identity tended to do that to you, yeah?

L audibly sighed, and he forced himself to get back to the task at hand. He had a date with Light this evening, and after all Light had done for him, L needed to at least get the amazing man some flowers. Watari had offered to purchase the flowers for him, but L insisted that this time, he had to make the purchase himself. The only thing that stood a chance against defeating his near crippling social anxiety was his stubbornness, and L wondered if this would be the only time he could willingly conquer such a moment of anxiety. Being nervous in public didn't mean anything compared to the significance of L choosing and buying the flowers himself, buying them for Light and for Light only.

The bouquet he had selected was simple yet elegant.

After much contemplation, L had decided on an assortment of sunflowers and magnolias, because roses were too cliche for Light and L couldn't take salmon-colored tulips seriously, and satisfied with his choice, L began the nerve-wracking march towards the counter.

Closer, closer, closer.

Then he froze, froze in place because he had never bought flowers for anyone before, much less for a romantic partner.

Dammit, L, move! Move, he said! L stood, clutching the flowers as tightly as possible without damaging the dainty petals.

People passed by, not even bothering to stare at this strange man standing in the middle of the store, and L assumed that they all were busy persons with places to go and things to do. With that, the detective was grateful to the lack of attention he drew.

L's body stilled, as if he had turned into a scarecrow, and no matter how hard he tried, not a muscle within his body agreed to movement.

Finally, after three minutes, which really felt more like three centuries, L's leg twitched, and he broke the stillness that had fallen upon him just as suddenly as it had began.

The detective quickly scooted to the counter, and once he arrived at the cashier, he gently set the bouquet on the table. The old woman who was the cashier greeted him with a bit of small-talk, and as much as L despised small-talk, he did his best to nod and reply politely, in order to avoid a scene.

"Who are the flowers for, young man?" the woman asked, smiling. L knew she was trying to be polite, he really did, but the hairs on the back of his neck stood, his arms tingling. Somehow, someway, though, L managed to snap out of his head and sputter out a reply.

"A partner," L said, his voice monotone but his mind on the verge of exploding.

"Well, there's a lucky lady waiting for them, I assume," the cashier stifled a giggle as she processed the flowers. "Is it for a date?"

Time for L momentarily stopped. He wanted so, so badly to correct the woman, to tell her, politely yet without a hint of emotion, that he was with a man. But, he didn't. He just nodded curtly.

"Would you like a tag?" the woman inquired.

L nodded once more.

"Which one would you like?" the woman displayed an array of bouquet tags, and L chose one that said in generic, printed cursive, "Roses are red, violets are blue, but the loveliest flower of them all is you."

"Thank-you," L said softly.

"No problem." The woman waved as L exited the shop, and she turned for the next customer.

* * *

"Oh, you didn't have to!" Light's face went red when he opened his front door and was faced with a huge bouquet of sunflowers and magnolias. He covered his face, half embarrassed and half touched at such a sweet gesture.

"Nonsense. Of course I had to," L replied. Light found L's monotone, along with his unique diction and syntax style, endearing and adorable, and Light felt so proud of L when he mentioned that he had bought the flowers himself, the flowers touching him even more than before.

He nearly tackled L when he hugged him, and he passionately kissed him on the lips. L had grown much less jumpy and much more comfortable to Light's touch, so Light knew that he could impulsively hug the detective without freaking him out.

"Come in, come in!" Light exclaimed as he let L go and stepped aside to let him in. "Is Watari here?"

"No, actually. He thought that it was best to leave us alone, so he just dropped me off before leaving," L replied. He added, mumbling as he did so, "Watari also said that I need more experience with the subway system. I can see where he's coming from, but I really do not find the point in all of this." L's voice grew softer and softer as he spoke, probably embarrassed at the fact that he sounded like a child complaining about their parents. A soft little pout formed on L's face after he finished his sentence, causing for Light to laugh for a few moments.

"Don't make fun of me," L huffed sarcastically as he rolled his eyes. L was wonderful when he did that, when he showed even a hint of emotion within his face. When he and L had just met, Light remembered L's face being so unreadable that it almost seemed as if the man had no emotion at all, but Light now knew that such a motion lied miles away from the truth. He knew that L was just a human like everyone else, feelings and all, even though Light saw L as particularly special and amazing.

"Seriously, thank-you," Light told L as he grinned from ear to ear, his hands accepting the flowers from L's. "I'll put them in a vase later. Do you want some tea before we leave?"

L nodded, causing for Light to rush into the kitchen and return with two steaming cups, along with an entire bag of sugar. "Just in case."

"Thanks," L grinned. "You know me well." L took the bag of sugar and poured in a terrifying, almost absurd amount before setting the bag down onto the table.

Light gently kissed L on the cheek before both of them sat down on Light's couch, and they looked at each other, happy just to be in the other's company.

They sat in silence for a bit of time, saying nothing. They didn't have to say anything. It just felt so right to be together, as if it was meant to be. L reached out his hand and set it on top of Light's, then took another sip of tea.

After the longest time, L spoke.

"This is nice," L commented.

"Yeah," Light agreed.

L suddenly let go of Light's hand, then he leaned his head on Light's shoulder, "I can't believe that I'm in a relationship now."

"I can't help but say the same," Light nodded, taking another sip of tea as he did so.

"I love you," L smiled.

"I love you, too," Light replied, also smiling.

"Do you ever wonder how we ended up here?" L asked.

"Yeah, all the time," Light said. "Who knew that I'd find a boyfriend with you of all people?"

"What do you mean by that?"

"Well, before I met you, I was unsure if I'd ever find love at all."

"Really? But women flock to you."

"I'm not attracted to women, remember?"

"Oh, yes."

"L, are you gay, or do you like women, too?"

"I only find men attractive, but I've only ever been able to develop romantic feelings for you, Light. I'm Light-sexual, I guess."

"I guess I'm L-sexual, then. Because I can find a man attractive, but you're the only person I really enjoy the company of, other than my family, of course."

"Aww, so sweet."

"Not as sweet as you," Light said. He kissed L's hair.

"No, you're sweeter," L retorted. "And cuter."

"Stop calling me cute." Light rolled his eyes. "Besides, you're cuter. You look like a panda."

"Really?"

"Yeah, the bags under your eyes make them look like a Panda's. You should get more sleep, though."

"This, again?"

"Yes. Get some sleep at least tonight, alright?"

"Okay."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

* * *

"Modern art is weird."

L drank in the sight of a monstrous blown glass sculpture that consisted of a random amalgamation of shapes and colors, and in L's opinion, the harmony and composition of the sculpture was a complete and utter wreck.

"Yes, this is strange," Light agreed. He looked curiously at the museum brochure, and he turned it sideways, upside-down, even inside-out, almost as if turning it so that the light hit it in a particular way would reveal the meaning of every truth in the universe itself.

L and Light stood close to each other, L's arm wrapped tightly around Light's and Light leaning gently against L. They were a couple, so of course they were in that position. They got a few stares, a few odd looks as to why an attractive, model-like man held close to him another man who looked like he had just climbed out of bed after three all-nighters, but L found everyone else easy enough to ignore. Light didn't seem to mind too much, either, and just to rub it in and tell everyone that they shouldn't stare at the only same-sex couple in the gallery, L lovingly kissed Light on the chin.

They continued onward through the gallery, and Light told L, "You know, you're definitely right about at least one thing."

"And what is that?" L asked rhetorically.

"Going to a modern art museum is very relevant when you're confused about yourself, because everything here is confusing, too."

L giggled, and he leaned in closer to Light. The couple approached a painting.

"Hmm, this is new," Light lifted an eyebrow as L noticed that a white canvas with a single black dot in the center had caught his lover's attention.

"Yes, I have never seen anything quite like it, and not in a good way," L commented. It was now Light's turn to laugh. "Why are we even here?"

"I don't know; you're the one who invited me," Light shrugged.

"True. Do you think that this gallery is worth the 6000 yen you paid?" L questioned.

"To be honest, no."

"Me neither. I could have at least picked up half the bill, you know. I was the one who suggested that we go here."

"I told you, you got me flowers, so it'd only be fair if I pay for the museum. Also, good that you think that, because I was momentarily afraid that I would hurt your feelings when I said that the price of the museum wasn't worth it."

"Of course something as trivial as that wouldn't hurt my feelings. We're adults, not stupid teenagers, remember? Besides, this gallery is garbage. How much would you pay?"

"A thousand yen per person, maybe? You?"

"Not even that."

"Really? I feel sorry for the artists with your thinking so critically of them."

"Don't be; an art gallery like this is a perfect opportunity to launder money."

"Really?"

"Yes; I've had plenty of cases like that in the past."

"How many cases have you had, Ryuzaki?"

"I don't know. I have had too many to count, and work on several at once, as you know. It depends, really. Of course, I don't take on every case I come across. Sometimes, I won't accept a case even if they offer more money than the others. I suppose it often comes down to justice and urgency."

"I respect your sense of justice, then."

"I respect yours as well."

"Really?"

"It's a bit different than mine, but it'd never be very interesting if everyone was the same, would it?"

"Of course not."

L and Light looked at each other.

"I feel like we'd be enemies in a different universe," L voiced one of the musings he'd had in the past out loud.

"How come?" Light asked, looking quite confused. "I can't imagine hating you."

"I mean, despite our differences, we're quite compatible under these circumstances, but under different ones, two geniuses in a battle of wits does not breed healthy bonding," L replied.

"When I think about it, it does make sense. But I'm not enemies with you. I love you very much." Light kissed L on the cheek again, and L wasn't even self-conscious of the affection he was receiving. At the moment, only Light mattered.

"We should leave," Light suddenly suggested. "But we can stay if you want."

"Don't be preposterous. I don't want to stay here for another five seconds unless you do," L replied. "Although, I feel somewhat guilty for wasting your money. Are you sure I can't at least pay my half? I feel bad about you paying for that dropped cheesecake, too."

"Not the cheesecake again," Light snickered, and L did, too. "Well, at least I met you because of that fiasco."

"But seriously, let's leave. I don't know how many more solid-color canvases I can see without being driven mad," L interrupted the little laugh they were having, wishing strongly that they could leave this stuffy museum. He'd had enough reflections of his confused emotions for now.

"Yeah, let's leave," Light agreed.

With that, they strolled out, and they both promised each other to not go to a modern art museum during date night for at least another five years, assuming that their romantic relationship would last that long. For the first time in his life, though, L felt a sense of optimism concerning that subject.

L and Light strolled, their hands linked, on the sidewalk, not really caring where they were going during that warm, summer night. Wind softly furled against their foreheads and whispered its lullaby-like tune against their ears, and L relished Light's company.

They'd been walking for a while, when L realized that they were walking aimlessly without much to do, "Do you want to do something?"

"Yeah. What do you have in mind?" Light inquired.

"I don't know. You pick, as I do not believe that I trust my own date night choices anymore," L responded. "And if we go somewhere that requires the spending of money, I'm paying."

"Oh really?"

"Yes, and you can't stop me from being nice to you."

"Well, okay then."

"But seriously, Light, where do you want to go?"

Light paused in his stride, which caused for L to, in turn, also still, and L saw Light's face strain a bit in contemplation. Light definitely was not using much of his brain power to decide, but with him being a genius, even minor decisions required at least one careful mulling over.

"Are you hungry? I haven't had dinner yet," Light asked after a good minute of thought.

"That I am," L replied.

"And, it's not that late yet, so it'd be a shame not to eat something while we're at this point," Light added.

"Yes, that sounds about right," L nodded. "Where to, then?"

"Nowhere too far; I know that you're not too fond of the subway systems." Light surveyed their surroundings, and L was both glad and touched that Light took the anxiety he tended to feel while on the subway into consideration.

"Bar?" Light asked, but L knew that the question was rhetorical. They laughed together at such a ridiculous suggestion.

"No, too many drunk people," Light took the words right out of L's mouth. "We went to get ramen on Valentine's day. There's a sushi restaurant, but if I'm to be honest, I don't think that anyone can beat my mom's."

"My, my, so picky," L teased, and he stuck his tongue out at Light.

Light rolled his eyes in response, and he kissed L on the lips, presumably to shut the man up. It worked.

"I think that one's good," Light decided, and L noticed him point to a small restaurant that looked to have a decent selection but at the same time wasn't too busy at the moment.

"As long as they have sweets," L added.

"I'm sure they will," Light replied, giggling. "But could you at least try some of my food? Just a bite?"

"Only for you," L said as he breathed heavily through his nose, annoyed that Light had the ability to get him to do these sorts of things.

They walked a block, and they entered the restaurant, where the waiter seated them at a booth upon L's request. L preferred the privacy of a booth, as he was, after all, only taking baby steps in his endeavors to appear in public more often.

Light thanked the waiter before the couple sat down, and the waiter walked away after giving both of them menus. L, of course, flipped straight to the dessert section.

They placed in their orders and were waiting for food, when the conversation drifted towards the state of their relationship.

"Light, this may sound a bit sudden, but when do you think that you will tell your family about, um, us?" L asked, cocking his head to the side as he did so. He knew that dating in secret was something that he shouldn't have minded. He knew that he was being irrational and maybe even a tad demanding. After all, Light had promised to, under no circumstances, tell anyone for any reason L's secret identity, but it made his heart clench uncomfortably at the idea of Light never revealing the relationship to his family.

"I, I don't know, honestly," Light admitted with a sigh. He leaned his head on his hand, and he continued, "I don't even know what's stopping me. It's not that I'm afraid of how people will react. It's, it's just that I don't know how to go about it."

"Fair point," L nodded. "We could do it together if you want, whenever you're ready."

"That would make it slightly less terrifying," Light replied as he smiled fondly at L. "You make everything better."

"Oh, stop that," L looked away, his face as red as a strawberry, and he brought his hands up to his face to conceal his blush.

"But it's true," Light smiled. He gently set his hand on top of L's hand to pull it away from his blushing face. "You're cute when you're blushing. You know that?"

"Not as cute as you," L retorted.

Light rolled his eyes, his words a mumble and his lips in a pout, "No, you're cuter."

There was a sigh, and L and Light stopped teasing each other, both of them knowing well the important conversation that they were about to have.

"We've been dating for how long now? Two, maybe three months? We've known each other for half a year, perhaps more, and we're both very serious about this relationship. I think they deserve to know," L said, his tone a bit more somber than he would've liked, but he was still trying to get used to injecting emotion into his voice.

"I know. If I don't tell them eventually, it's going to blow up and tear us apart, isn't it?" Light predicted.

"I think so. People can only bottle up secrets for so long." L looked at Light, his eyes wide.

"I know," Light sighed, his shoulder's slumping slightly.

L hated seeing Light sad, but it was something that had to be discussed.

Then, there was a look in Light's eyes. His eyes twinkled with a spark of determination, and L knew that look and knew it well. Light looked so determined, so hellbent on doing what had to be done. That look was special, special because L had only seen it three times since meeting Light, and it was a look that drew L in and kept him in.

The first time L had seen Light like that, it was when the brown-haired man sat in the NPA meeting room. L had been watching from a camera for a while now, as he usually did. Light sat in the back, silently stewing away at every puzzle piece of the case, and when he had finally put it together, his eyes had fire in them. The day after, they had caught the murderer.

Then, L saw that look for the second time during a potentially dangerous hostage situation. He was, like before, watching from a camera, his heart beating a million times a second as fear for his friend built up, but L saw that look on Light's face and instantly knew that everything would be alright, that Light had this, that Light could absolutely, positively do this.

And now, L was seeing that look for the third time. Light's eyes glistened with unwavering certainty, and when Light looked at L, L's spine tingled.

"I know I have to tell them," Light spoke, his voice more serious than L had ever heard it. He tightly gripped L's hands, and he looked at the world-famous detective right in the eyes, "Ryuzaki, I was unsure before, but now I know. I love you, and my family deserves to know about you, and you deserve better than me hiding you from my own family. I'm going to tell them."

A pause settled in for a few moments before L managed to ask the question that often came in and went through his head.

"When?"

"During dinner at my parents' house tomorrow, but can you do me one favor?"

"Anything for you, Light. You know that."

"Can you be there for me? Please? Can you promise me? Do you promise to be there with me, so that we can tell them together? I don't want to do this alone. I don't think that I can do this alone."

"I promise."

"Thank-you. Thank-you so, so much."

"I promise, Light. I promise."

"L, I want for the world, and most importantly you, to know that I'm proud, proud that I'm gay and proud that I'm with you and you're with me, and I'm tired, so, so tired of hiding."

"I know. I'm tired of hiding, too. I'm proud to be with you, too. I'm going to be so, so proud of you when you tell them, Light, when you tell them how much I love you and how much you love me."

They ate their dinner, and the rest of the night carried itself out as a lighthearted one. L dared to say that he actually had fun venturing out in public for once, Light's promise ringing like church bells in the rain.

* * *

 **I finally wrote and posted something in less than a year! Woo-hoo! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter. As you can imagine, I plan to make the next chapter about Light coming out to his family, and I can bet that both L and Light are quite nervous about the event!**

 **I wanted to get this story out in time for National Pride Month, and I finished with one day to spare! Not too bad, if I do say so myself, for someone who procrastinates as much as I do.**

 **Happy Pride Month, everyone, and enjoy the rest of your summer!**


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